Chapter Fifteen: The Infinite Wall

I watched her from the door frame of the room. Kisame had explained the emotional outburst she had. She was eating at my desk with a book in her hand. I sighed heavily before entering the room completely and closing the door behind me. "Kaeda…" She jumped out of the seat and scrambled the put the book down and her chop sticks. She turned to me disheveled completely. "Kaeda…" I whispered again. Something in her eyes was different. Something in her… was different.

A moment of silence had passed between us as we stared at each other. "Continue." I said and automatically she sat back down. She pointed towards her food and I nodded. She turned the chair back towards the desk and she began eating. I picked up the book that she was reading and returned it to its place. I looked at the bookshelf that I had knocked over to act as though it fell onto her hands. I knelt down and picked it up putting it back in place. I began to collect the books when Kaeda's hand touched my hands. She said nothing, simply took them from my hand and began putting them back into their place.

I watched her, can I do nothing for the people I love but watch them? I was irritated to say the least. Once she placed the last book on the shelf I placed my hand on her shoulder. She turned to face me, her brown eyes looked at me and I could see stone walls around her inner most self. I had torn her apart, Kisame was right. How could I have been so selfish? I gave her hope that I might be back. That the captain that had abandoned her might be here... and I took that hope away from her. It was inexcusable.

My hand touched her cheek. "Kaeda."

"Yes, Uchiha?" My heart dropped to my stomach.

"Sato… thank you for fixing the books." She nodded mechanically and dodged my touch heading for the couch.

I was upset, I wanted to tell her the truth but not while we are like this. Fix it. The orders rang again in my head. Am I really that much of an obedient dog? Kaeda has been falsely dubbed, I am the dog.

Itachi came into the room and watched Kaeda read for a moment. "Haven't you read that book before?" He asked. Kaeda looked at it and nodded.

"I have…"

It had been 2 months since the Pein incident and nearly a year since she was last in Konaha. Itachi hung his Akatsuki cloak on the coat rack and took his seat at his desk. He kept his eyes closed and his hands folded; Kaeda watched this thinking pose of his. "Take a bag and gather a few clothes." He said without speaking much. He didn't open his eyes to tell by the scrambling of her feet that she had gotten up. "No, we are not going back to Konaha." He said opening his eyes to see her excited face become severely depressed.

"But we are going somewhere." Itachi nodded at her statement. His mask had been perfected around her, no more emotions ever seeped out of him. "Where? How long?" He stood up and went to the closet and grabbed a backpack that he never used. He tossed it to her, silently telling her not to question him and his motives. Itachi removed himself from the room and paced the hall for a few minutes.

He reentered the room and she was sitting on his bed with the backpack, half filled and sitting beside her feet. He pointed towards the bathroom and Kaeda got up and walked there. Itachi packed a few clothes himself over hers, once he was done he went to the bathroom and walked in front of her and handed her the backpack. She held it in both her hands. They looked at each other for a moment before Kaeda's eyes widened and she came down falling onto Itachi. He grabbed her shoulders and held her up, his clone disappearing.

When Kaeda woke up again, she was in a bed but it was sunny in the room. She rolled onto her stomach and looked up to see Itachi looking out a window. The room was very traditional and simple. She saw seagulls outside. "Where are we?"

"In an Akatsuki stronghold." He replied looking at her. "Are you awake?" He asked and she nodded. He nodded back and went to the door slid it open and left. Kaeda got up and followed him. He was going down a set of stairs; she saw a row of rooms on the floor and then the downward stairs. She followed since he said nothing about doing so; they were in a large empty space.

"It's big." She whispered, shocked by the grandness of it all. It was a beautiful space as well, clean.

Itachi went to the doors and opened them up which revealed that they were standing on top of a tall hill, long winding stairs led to an archway that marked the entrance. The archway was visible from the top, there was a dock that lead to a bay area but Kaeda could not see a village nearby. Kaeda stepped beside Itachi and gazed around with him. "See the archway?" Itachi asked. Kaeda nodded. "It marks the beginning and the end of a circular field around the perimeter of the land here. You won't be able to get out of it."

Kaeda glared at him. "Well what's the point of bring me here?"

"I had the week off." He shrugged.

"You had a week off?" Kaeda asked. "So the Akatsuki members get vacations. I'll be sure to report that to the Hokage." She said, a scoff escaped her lips. She looked forward but was stopped with a flick of Itachi's fingers at the side of her head. "Ow!" She said shocked by it and he began descending down the stairs. "Hey!" He started heading towards the dock and the kunoichi followed.

When they got there Kaeda approached the edge to look down into the water, Itachi grabbed her and pulled her back. "Shark infested waters." He said. She nodded, understanding. He closed his eyes again and let go of her hand. He was taking a few deep breaths before opening his eyes to look at her. Kaeda took a step back, shocked by his cold gaze. "I need to speak to you." He said and started walking back from where they came from.

She followed. He took her back up to the stronghold.

He got inside and sat down and said nothing for a long time. Kaeda sat in front of him. He opened his eyes again but they were downcast. "If someone asked you to pick between Konaha and me when you were 13 what would you have answered?" He asked looking up to her. Kaeda jumped at the question. "Your village or your captain?" He asked.

Kaeda opened her mouth to answer but then closed her mouth. She looked down at the ground. "I don't know." She whispered.

Itachi stood up. "I'll be at the dock, find me when you know the answer." He left her in the room to think. Itachi walked making his way down to the dock. He too was thinking heavily about this. He got to the dock, sat down at the edge and let one of his legs dangle off the ledge. His other leg was bent so he could use his knee as an armrest; his free hand was behind him holding his body up. He lowered his head, closed his eyes and thought but only words and memories buzzed through his head.

"Brother!"

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. Maybe next time."

I felt him nuzzle his face into my shoulder. I continued to walk forward but I looked back at him and smiled causing him to smile back.

By the time he heard the footsteps behind him it was nearly midnight. He heard Kaeda kneel behind him. There was a long silence between them. "Do you have an answer?" He asked, breaking the silence between them and a new wave of silence found them.

The wind rustled the leafs of the trees and the marine life below their feet cause ripples on the surface of the calm water. Kaeda spoke after sorting out her answer into proper words. "If my captain told me to choose the village over him then I would." She said. Her hand was on the wooden dock and the other on her bent knee. Itachi looked back and her head was lowered.

He stood, his back to her. She looked up at him but did not move from her position. "Do you remember when you asked me to tell you a lie? The lie you asked me to say was that nothing I did was of my own accord?" Even though Kaeda nodded her head behind him his mind's eye could sense the movement. "There is some truth in that lie." He turned back and looked at her. She wasn't breathing, her eyes were wide and cold sweat was starting to form. "I brought you here to tell you the truth. All of it. And to ask you for favor." He said and walked past her.

He set a candle down in front of her in her bedroom. She was wrapped up in the cover from her bed. She was still shocked from Itachi's confession. Itachi sat pretzel style on the floor in front of her. "Let me tell you the truth about the massacre." Itachi whispered. She nuzzled in closer to the covers. "However, you need to promise me you will harbor no ill will towards those that are responsible. I am still just as responsible as those people." She nodded and waited to listen to him.

There was silence, just the sound of the small flame in between them. "It started… it started that day when we were four. Do you remember it?"

"How can I forget? The day the Kyuubi attacked the village…"

Itachi closed his eyes. "The clan's loyalty was questioned the day after."

Kaeda's eyes widened. "What? Why?" She asked.

"Uchiha Madara… that man he was able to control the Kyuubi using the sharingan… Any Uchiha with powerful eyes can." He said. Kaeda had never heard of that. "Madara was known for using the Kyuubi in battle against the Shodai Hokage." Itachi's eyes lowered to the ground. "The Konaha top brass put the Uchiha clan under surveillance, even in those days they sensed a coup being formed. They needed an insider, a man to feed them information… and they got a man, the day I entered ANBU."

"Itachi, you were the…"

Itachi gave her a small smile. "My father wanted an insider to feed him information as the clan devised a coup d'etat and the village wanted information on the coup." Kaeda watched his eyes glaze over; he was putting himself into a dark place, into dark and unwanted memories. She couldn't only image that he was staring at an old wall, a wall that was infinitely wide and infinitely high with two doors, the clan or the village. "I crossed my family… I fed them false information that was provided to me, and I gave Konaha information regarding the coup. I forgot how to sleep."

"Is that why…" She whispered and he looked up at her. "Is that why just some days you would just fall asleep on your desk?" She asked and he nodded in response.

"The coup drew closer and closer… The village… Danzo, asked me to end it. I was a sacrificial pawn, I either ended the coup and save at least Sasuke or joined my family in civil war. I didn't want any more war; I had seen what it had done. The death, the pain that it caused everyone and the endless chain of revenge that it brought upon people. I didn't want it. My friend Shisui… I have spoken of him to you haven't I?" Kaeda nodded, he had during a mission as they all sat around the campfire. "I entrusted him with the truth…" Itachi closed his eyes and something happened that Kaeda couldn't believe at first. Itachi let tears spill from his closed eyes. "I entrusted him with the truth… he tried to stop the coup using his eyes, but Danzo stole one of his eyes. He entrusted his second eye to me and his gave me his life, in return asked me to protect the village and the name of the clan." When he opened his eyes again, mangekyou sharingan swirled into effect, "With his sacrifice I developed these eyes."

"No…" Kaeda whispered and Itachi nodded to her. She was in shock and she was angry, angry with her village for asking such a steep price.

"I was then went to eliminate the clan. After long thought I found Uchiha Madara who had lived on. I asked him for assistance in the mission because I knew that I could not do it alone. In exchange for getting his revenge on the clan, he couldn't touch the village. Then that night…" Itachi drifted off. "The rest you know. I could not kill you and Sasuke. I explained to the Hokage that you were there by accident, and I asked him to protect Sasuke from the others. I threatened the other elders with the information I held of the village, I would and will leak it if any harm comes to Sasuke."

"When I asked the third to watch over Sasuke, to take him in, he said that it was a great idea and wished me and him the best. Other's did not see it like that at all… I see why he was glad that I took him now. The Sandaime hokage was following your wishes in protecting Sasuke."

Itachi nodded. "I joined the Akatsuki, taking and giving the Leaf information when I can, I am the Akatsuki's spy."

"How… how do you do that without anyone finding out that it's you?" Kaeda asked.

Itachi smiled a bit. "I can't tell you all my secrets now."

"Y-You smiled."

His smile faded. "Sorry." He whispered, his emotionless walls taking effect.

"No, I like it. It reminds me of the old you." There was silence. "You built a lot of walls didn't you?" She asked in a soft whisper.

Itachi nodded, "Sometimes the old me, your captain, comes out through the walls, especially when you do stupid or reckless things or both at once." He smiled again.

"Yeah, it's your fault, you know. You infuriate me." Kaeda said with a small laugh. "To be honest, Itachi right now the only thing I am thinking about is getting revenge for what they did to you and Sasuke."

"Don't. Do not avenge me; I did what I did because I loved my village and because I could not longer stand the sight of war. I know how contradicting that is. Fight violence with violence but for years there was peace. Sasuke made friends and you were alright…"

"Then Orochimaru showed interest in Sasuke."

His gaze caught hers. "And then Orochimaru showed interest in Sasuke." He whispered. "However, I had told him to seek out more power. I know Sasuke very well as well, he will not allow himself to die without killing me first."

Kaeda looked down when she hear that. "I told him countless time to forget revenge that it would lead him down the wrong path. Instead of living in the memory of what you did to the clan he should live in the memory of the man you were and what the glory of the clan. But Sasuke is stubborn." Kaeda sighed.

"Is that you did after I left? Did you follow the words you were preaching?" Itachi asked.

Kaeda nodded, "I know that my captain would have wanted his little brother looked after if he was gone… so I did." She whispered.

Itachi let yet another smile light his face. "Thank you."

I was dreaming at the moment but the dream was a memory. A familiar memory of Sasuke. He was looking up at me, sharingan in his eyes and glaring vividly up at me. I looked down, my walls defending my most inner thoughts and emotions. His hand was discharging from the lightning attack that he had attempt to attack me with.

I thought of my kid brother, the child that used to run at me with open arms shouting 'big brother!' and from his eyes I knew that his boy in front of me was not the boy I knew. He was hardened angry… but there sorrow in him too.

"You lack hate."

When the two ex-ANBU were woke up they where laying on the ground, Kaeda's head on Itachi's shoulder and his arm resting over her waist. Itachi was first to awaken and he looked down with her peacefully sleeping form, he had never seen that expression on her face in the past year. He pressed his face gently against her causing her to shift and wake up. She sighed when she saw Itachi and smiled. "Good morning." She whispered.

"Do you want to spar today?" He whispered placing his lips against her forehead.

"Why?" She asked, still a bit sleepy.

Itachi sat up, Keada propped herself up in response. He looked thoughtful, thinking about his dream. "There is more to the truth…" He whispered and stood. Kaeda sat up and watched him. "Madara is in the Akatsuki… You need to learn how to fight an Uchiha, even the geniuses of the clan." He said looking back down at her.

Kaeda looked confused. He reached his hand down as if to help her up. "Will you be my first officer again?" He asked. Help me carry down my will, my want for peace, protect my clan name and the village. Will you take the burden of my existence?

"Yeah." Kaeda said and took his hand and Itachi helped her up, the cover that had been wrapped around her throughout the night fell to the ground.

A gasped filled the air. They had been intensely training for hours and it was day two of their little vacation. She had been caught countless times in his genjutsu and she was exhausted. Itachi watched her shake but it wasn't from fatigue, it was frustration. As I got stronger over the years, she got weaker. Of course she's frustrated. Itachi stood and waited for her to get back up.

"I can't look at your eyes, I can't look at your hands. Where do you expect me to look again?" She asked bracing her knees and stood up again.

"Feet and body." He replied, and went at her again.

Yellow chakra covered her arm as she raised it to block his arm but the oncoming fist. Dodged the on-coming kick. Itachi smiled. On the first day she was barely able to keep up with my speed. It's slowly coming back to her, good. He thought. After a few punches, Itachi kicked her in the stomach sending her back against a tree. He had promised not to go easy on her and he was not kidding when he said that. She knelt down on ground, she was panting and her limbs began to tremble, this time it was from fatigue. Despite this weakness she stood back up again, only her legs refused to obey her will and gave out under her.

She got caught in Tsukuyomi twice today… her body can't handle anymore. "Enough for today." She opened her mouth to speak. "Don't be stubborn about it." She closed her mouth, her eyebrows knitting together into a scowl. He was definitely back to the captain she remembered, order giving and all. After a moment her face relaxed and she tried to stand only to fall back onto her legs again. Itachi went over and grasped her arm to lift her up to her feet. She sighed and let him guide them both back to the stronghold. They sat down on the floor back in her room. Itachi brought over a small medical pack and started to patch her up.

"M-Madara, how powerful is he exactly?" Kaeda asked breaking the silence.

Itachi put down the gauze he was using to wrap up one of Kaeda's arms. "Would you like to see how powerful?" Kaeda nodded. He took her hand and brought it into his shirt and moved it towards his back. Kaeda's eyes widened. She was feeling scared skin. Itachi let go of her hand and she inched closer to him, her hand followed the feel of the scar and gasped at were it stopped. It ran from his left side all the way up to his mid right shoulder blade. Her hand trembled. She looked up into his eyes.

"I have never ever, seen anyone get that close to you." She whispered.

"Other than him… no one ever has." He whispered back. Kaeda removed her hand from his skin. "Don't be afraid." Her gaze fell to the ground. He placed his hand on her hand and she looked back up at him. She leaned forward slightly only to back away. "What's wrong?" Itachi asked.

"It's nothing… it's just I remembered something my father said." He tilted his head. "He always used to yell at me for not being top of class and letting an Uchiha beat me." She laughed a bit under her breath. "After I graduated from the academy and I was always one step behind you, he dubbed me 'a shadow'. He used to tell me that I would always remain a shadow until I finally surpassed you. Here I am realizing that I never will."

"You can if you train hard enough." Itachi said.

"Please Itachi, I can try to get as close to you as possible. You can be what I strive to be but I can never be you, or surpass you." She whispered.

"Why are you undermining yourself?" Itachi asked.

"Because… even if I wanted to…" Her hand reached out and touched the beginning of his scar but this time above his shirt. "Because even if I wanted to, I could never do such damage to you."

Itachi smiled at her. "You couldn't do this damage because you care about me. That doesn't make you weak or less than me." He said. "If anything that makes you stronger." She looked at him. "Feelings of love and care tend to be the strongest emotions." Itachi inched closer to Kaeda, "They are also the cause of the strongest feelings of hatred." Kaeda nodded knowingly.

Itachi picked up where he left off on wrapping up her arm. He stood up and let her stay on the floor as he walked towards her door without a word. Before he walked out, "Itachi!" Kaeda called out, impulsively. "Could you stay here? I don't feel comfortable sleeping alone…" He smiled a bit and nodded. He took a step back into the room and closed the door.

He sat down on the floor in front of her. "Get to bed, we are continuing tomorrow."

"Don't you want to sleep on the bed instead, Captain?" Kaeda asked, captain slipped out of her mouth accidently. She slapped her hand over her mouth and stared at him, a small smirk found its way to his lips. "Sorry…" She whispered.

"Take the bed." Kaeda nodded and pulled herself up onto the bed. She rested on the mattress and in a matter of moments she was asleep. Itachi closed his eyes when he sensed that she had fallen asleep and sat against the bed, he was tired too. He opened his eyes and shifted his eyes over to her face. He smiled a bit and then looked forward again towards a near by window.

It's raining…