First, Sorry this update is a few days later than I hoped. Traditionally work gets really busy about 1 time a month. That was this week for me. This chapter is long and was suppose to be about twice as long. I will post Chapter 16 tomorrow as it is done. Thank you all for your comments and encouragements.

CHAPTER 15

Deacon's Hotel Room

Deacon watched Juliette storm out the hotel room. All she'd been doing was checking to make sure I'd gotten home from jail. And then I had to go and kiss her. She'd been receptive. Okay she'd be surprised at first then receptive. They'd gotten inside before he pulled his own shirt off. She'd been into it. Thinking about it now, his pathetic come on was probably less arousing than getting to bed the man her mama had a thing for. F'd up logic at its worst but it didn't seem to bother him too much at the time.

Then he stupidly gotten a little too lost in the moment. He'd whispered Rayna's name when she started kissing his neck.

And that had done it.

He leaned back against the bed, finally too tired to think. He knew he should put some ice on his eye but the pain felt comforting in his own twisted logic way. Juliette was just another thing, another relationship he'd messed up.

Another in a long list of people he cared about and people he used. He closed his eyes and laid down on the bed. He'd figure it all out later.

NASHVILLE-2 days later

The Diner

Deacon knew Coleman was waiting on him to speak. The waitress refilled both coffees before heading back to the register. The place was empty save an older couple in the corner and a truck driver flirting with their waitress.

Deacon took a sip and started with a simple declaration, "I'm a father." A moment of quiet passed. "I'm a father to a teenage girl, who already has a dad. I woke up this morning and I think it hit me. I've been focused on the lying and me and Ray. I've been reliving stuff that happened in the past as opposed to figuring out what to do now."

Coleman repeated the beginning of the serenity prayer solemnly: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Deacon nodded slowly. "I'm lacking the wisdom to know the difference right now."

Coleman took another sip of his coffee, allowing Deacon a moment to think. "So what do you want to do about it?"

The Cabin

Deacon watched as Rayna opened the screen door. He could tell she was nervous, the way her lips were pressed together and the way she clinched her hands. He scooted further away, inviting her to sit down beside him on the porch swing. "Thank you for comin."

The two sat in relative silence, swinging for a few moments. "I'm checking myself into rehab tomorrow."

Rayna whipped her head around to face him. He met her worried gaze and smiled. "I didn't drink. But you saw me that night in jail. Ray, I hadn't wanted to drink this much in a really long time. And I keep doing things without thinking. I know where that leads."

"So you are going in for what? a tune up?"

He smiled at the analogy. "Yeah I guess so. There is a place east of Dayton. It is really private and Coleman's got a friend who is on the board there."

"How long?"

"A month."

"A month? Deacon what about the tour? What about.."

"I need to go Ray. I need to go for me. I need to go for us. I don't know where we stand right now but I can't do any of this unless I get on steadier ground."

He heard her sniffling and could feel her body shaking with a sob. He lifted his arm, wrapping it around her shoulder and pulled her closer. He let his hand travel up and down her shoulder, letting her cry into the crook of his neck. Deacon felt his own eyes sting with tears. This was a road they'd both been down before.

3 Hours Later

The warm afternoon had turned into a cool evening. But now the sky was more black than purple. She'd ended up with her head in his lap and her feet hanging off the end of the swing. It was intimate, a position that lovers sat in. It was how they use to swing all the time.

They'd spent most of the last few hours on the porch talking. Deacon admitted he wanted to get to know Maddie. She told him about Maddie's crush and how terrible her soccer team was. He'd told her about encounter with Juliette. She was hardly pleased but did smile when Deacon told her why it ended.

"So how often do you call out my name when you're kissing other women?"

" 'bout as often as you think of me when you're in bed with somebody else."

"That often, huh?"

Deacon's chest rumbled with laughter.

"So are you allowed visits or phone calls at this tune up rehab?"

Deacon ran his hands through her hair, "Not the first two weeks. But after that we can get regulated phone calls."

"So no phone sex?"

"Nope. But you I can take several pictures with me so if you have anything you'd like to contribute…" His voice was light and flirty. I've missed that voice. I missed this.

She met his gaze and admitted she didn't want to push. "But this feels like we're us again." He stroked her hair and told her couldn't make any promises right now. She wasn't thrilled with his response but she'd take what she could get at this point.

Day 1

"He's all checked in. I left him about twenty minutes ago. Deacon says not to worry and he'll call you when he gets phone privileges."

"Thanks Coleman."

Day 2

Deacon leaned forward in his plastic chair, preparing to answer the group leader's question.

"I'm Deacon. I've been sober for 155 months and six days. But lately I've been fighting a losing battle with myself. I almost ordered a drink the other night at a bar. I went there to drink and I jumped on this guy because I knew he'd kick my ass." He laughed at himself, "I didn't know how to not drink and that was the first time in a long time, that has happened."

Day 3

Rayna put her headphones off and made thumbs up to the control booth. The song sounded good. Liam asked if she needed a break but she shook her head. The last thing she needed was a break.

Day 4

Deacon's one-on-one therapy session had lasted almost two hours. Dr. Peter had point blank asked if he had come to rehab to help solve his problems or to run away from them.

Dr. Peter did have a point; he just wasn't sure what the actual answer to that question was.

Day 5

Rayna rolled her eyes as Juliette continued to re-aloud the "Top 25 Places to Have Sex in your Own Town." Seriously, what have I done to deserve being stuck on a plane, having to listen to this stupid list.

Juliette's voice screeched with laughter, "Number 16 is a Hammock. Pu…lease. Nobody can have sex in one of those things."

Rayna smirked, "Actually the key is to not lay down in it. It has to be more of a sitting position."

Buck gave her a surprised look and Liam's eyes lit up. Rayna gave an unapologetic shrug to Juliette and asked her to continue.

Day 6

Deacon strummed his fingers against the guitar and took his pen to write down the next few chords. The song wasn't about Rayna. It was an apology to Juliette. When they first met, he used her for his ego. She was young and pretty and made Rayna incredibly jealous. She viewed him as a stabilizing person in her life. That was something he'd had never been before. He'd liked that Juliette depended on him. And I used to her get back on tour with Rayna. I used her to try and get Ray out of mind mind. She didn't deserve that, she doesn't deserve that.

Day 7

Rayna groaned in frustration and grabbed the pillow beside her. It was another one of those dreams. Lately she'd had a lot of them and they were getting nakeder and sweatier. She missed him. She missed his voice, his smell, his hands.

"Ugh." Rayna got up and headed to the shower. If the cold shower didn't do the trick, the removable shower head would.

Day 8

Deacon thanked Greg. Greg had a fifteen year old daughter. She lived with her mom and been raised by Greg's ex-wife and her new husband. He only got to see his daughter a few times a year but he had good advice. Don't tease her about boyfriends. Don't comment on her clothes, seriously if you like it she'll hate it. If you hate it, she'll love it. The more you react to it, the worse it is. And then she'll throw it into your face that you have no right to say anything. She's a teenage girl, she's always looking for a fight so try not to give her one.

Day 9

"The offer includes six months in a federal prison and then four years of parole."

Rayna felt her legs give under her.

"Are you taking it?"

A long moment of silence passed. He sounds like he's been crying. The phone went dead a moment later.

Teddy in prison? That was the last thing she wanted. The girls would be devastated not being able to see him for six months. Except for family visits. Oh God. My daughters at a prison. Visiting their father. She couldn't help the tears that started to fall.

Day 10

Deacon laughed out loud as his roommate kept pushing for details, "Oh come on. Give me details. You were a guy, with a guitar, in Nashville. You had roadies. You have to have some good stories."

Deacon shook his head, "Sorry I don't kiss and tell. Besides I spent almost a decade I was with Ray."

The dark haired man grew serious. "You never cheated on her?"

Deacon shook his head, "No sir, didn't even think about it. Beside she would have literally killed me and made it as painful as possible."

Day 11

Rayna pushed play again, listening to the haunting sounds of 'If I didn't know better'. It was perfect. She quickly grabbed her phone to call Edgehill to set up a meeting.

Day 12

"The truth is I miss her. She's always been the most important person in my life. For years, I waited for her to be free of Teddy. Now she is and we aren't together."

Dr. Peter made another note on his pad before commenting, "The reason you two aren't together is because she lied to you about the paternity of your daughter."

Deacon shifted uncomfortably. He had never done well with anybody else attacking Rayna. Even if he had the exact same opinion, he hated when anybody else said a bad word about her. "Look she lied and I know that. But she had her reasons."

The doctor asked what her reasons were.

"I wasn't a functioning alcoholic, you know like some people are. I blacked out. It wasn't that I was always drinking, it was I was always drunk. I wouldn't be able to hold my guitar anymore and I would slur my words. I was always getting into fights and cussing out cops. She was pulling me out of hotels and bars every week."

The doctor readjusted his glasses as he continued to make notes.

Day 13

"So you have no idea where anything stands right now?"

Rayna shook her head at Liam. "Nope. Deacon gets phone privileges starting tomorrow. I kinda wish I didn't know that. Because now, I'll be waiting on pins and needles to see if he calls."

"And if he doesn't?"

Rayna found it hard to swallow. "I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there."

Day 14

Deacon knew Rayna's voicemail was going to pick up. By now, she was either on stage or waiting in the wings. He listened to the melody of her voice, realizing how long it had been since he heard her voice.

"Hey Ray, its me. I wanted to call you earlier but my group had lunch duty so I was cooking. I um….I just wanted you to know things are good here. I'm good here. I miss you and I'll try to call you earlier tomorrow.