Chapter 4
The scissors hit the wall and cut in two.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Kelly"! I hear a baritone voice scream at me.
James is there in front of me, with a cold stare. He was still wearing the clothes he died in, His body still thin and frail.
"Why are you even here, James? Shouldn't you be dancing with the stars and be surrounded by complete it-ness, like you said" I said in a serious tone.
"Why are you even here? Why?
"Because I came back ok, I didn't want to go. Not just yet"
I looked at him in disbelief, my body starting to fill with rage.
"Didn't want to go eh? Well if you didn't want to go, why did you purposefully drown yourself and make us watch huh? Do you have any idea what I went through, what Bill and Davy went through? What Miles went through? Miles had to help you kill yourself, James. He had to hold you down and watch while the air got ripped out of your lungs and your soul slowly went. And now, now you decide that maybe you didn't want to leave after all".
"I'm sorry ok, why do you think I came back in the first place? I saw how my death affected you and Davy and Bill and Miles especially".
Tears started to pour out of James beautiful eyes, caressing his skin. Staining the floor and there were stains on the floorboards. Water drops; perfectly fit the size of a tear.
"I saw you crying at the funeral, I saw you not sleep for days on end. I saw you at the police when they questioned my death, I saw you so broken and wasted away. I saw Davy collapse on the sand, I saw Bill cry out until his voice got hoarse and I saw Miles shake and twitch with shock. I had to come back, I had to. There was no other choice."
James stopped talking and bowed his head. I could see his shoulders shake and hear his breath quiver up and down. More tears hit the floor, more water on the floorboards.
I walked to him, slowly, carefully and placed my hand on the side of his face. I gasped at the touch, his skin was like ice, and you could see the faint outline of blue veins on his temple. His skin felt smooth and marbleised and almost translucent. He looked down at me, his eyes tired and bloodshot. He looked like he'd being crying a lot; my thumb was at the corner of his blue-tinged lips. I felt a tear hit my thumbnail, bobbing on my skin. I lifted my thumb to my face, just to get a closer look at it. Then suddenly it hit me, this tear was real. James wouldn't be crying real tears if he weren't here, in this time, in the presence. James brushed my cheek with a soft, gentle finger and on it was a little tear. I didn't realize I was crying.
James held my face, my hand still against his and kissed my eyelids. Brushing away any tears that escaped, I could feel his touch, I could smell him. He smelt like seawater and sand, his breath smelt like morphine and cough medicine. I wound my fingers through his short, silk hair and I wrapped my arms around him. I clung to him how I would cling to Mother Earth, I put my face in his chest and breathed him in, soaking his presence. I was still crying and my tears stained his chambray shirt, I started kneading his hair and stroking his hair. My other arm still tightly wrapped his back, I kissed his neck lightly. I needed his touch on my lips; I kissed the corner of his mouth. I felt his tears on my face.
He lifted my head so I could look at him; his face was covered in tear stains. He brought his lips to mine and gave them the softest of kisses, it lasted a second. I kissed him back, his feather touch lips lingering on mine. He pulled away ever so slightly and kissed the corner of my mouth, and he moved his lips an inch and kissed that bit of skin, and again and again. Until he was at my ear, he kissed my earlobe and whispered "I'll never leave you, I'll be back soon", his hand was still on my face and his other hand was gently rubbing circles on my back. And with a touch and a kiss he was gone.
Tears still stained the floorboards, remnants of tears still lingered on my face. A smattering of tears was still on my pale shirt. A trail of ice lingered on the skin he kissed. His smell still hung in the air. His kiss still held on my lips. I touched my face and wondered if this actually happened but the facts were too obvious.
This wasn't a dream. This was real.
Chapter 4
The scissors hit the wall and cut in two.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Kelly"! I hear a baritone voice scream at me.
James is there in front of me, with a cold stare. He was still wearing the clothes he died in, His body still thin and frail.
"Why are you even here, James? Shouldn't you be dancing with the stars and be surrounded by complete it-ness, like you said" I said in a serious tone.
"Why are you even here? Why?
"Because I came back ok, I didn't want to go. Not just yet"
I looked at him in disbelief, my body starting to fill with rage.
"Didn't want to go eh? Well if you didn't want to go, why did you purposefully drown yourself and make us watch huh? Do you have any idea what I went through, what Bill and Davy went through? What Miles went through? Miles had to help you kill yourself, James. He had to hold you down and watch while the air got ripped out of your lungs and your soul slowly went. And now, now you decide that maybe you didn't want to leave after all".
"I'm sorry ok, why do you think I came back in the first place? I saw how my death affected you and Davy and Bill and Miles especially".
Tears started to pour out of James beautiful eyes, caressing his skin. Staining the floor and there were stains on the floorboards. Water drops; perfectly fit the size of a tear.
"I saw you crying at the funeral, I saw you not sleep for days on end. I saw you at the police when they questioned my death, I saw you so broken and wasted away. I saw Davy collapse on the sand, I saw Bill cry out until his voice got hoarse and I saw Miles shake and twitch with shock. I had to come back, I had to. There was no other choice."
James stopped talking and bowed his head. I could see his shoulders shake and hear his breath quiver up and down. More tears hit the floor, more water on the floorboards.
I walked to him, slowly, carefully and placed my hand on the side of his face. I gasped at the touch, his skin was like ice, and you could see the faint outline of blue veins on his temple. His skin felt smooth and marbleised and almost translucent. He looked down at me, his eyes tired and bloodshot. He looked like he'd being crying a lot; my thumb was at the corner of his blue-tinged lips. I felt a tear hit my thumbnail, bobbing on my skin. I lifted my thumb to my face, just to get a closer look at it. Then suddenly it hit me, this tear was real. James wouldn't be crying real tears if he weren't here, in this time, in the presence. James brushed my cheek with a soft, gentle finger and on it was a little tear. I didn't realize I was crying.
James held my face, my hand still against his and kissed my eyelids. Brushing away any tears that escaped, I could feel his touch, I could smell him. He smelt like seawater and sand, his breath smelt like morphine and cough medicine. I wound my fingers through his short, silk hair and I wrapped my arms around him. I clung to him how I would cling to Mother Earth, I put my face in his chest and breathed him in, soaking his presence. I was still crying and my tears stained his chambray shirt, I started kneading his hair and stroking his hair. My other arm still tightly wrapped his back, I kissed his neck lightly. I needed his touch on my lips; I kissed the corner of his mouth. I felt his tears on my face.
He lifted my head so I could look at him; his face was covered in tear stains. He brought his lips to mine and gave them the softest of kisses, it lasted a second. I kissed him back, his feather touch lips lingering on mine. He pulled away ever so slightly and kissed the corner of my mouth, and he moved his lips an inch and kissed that bit of skin, and again and again. Until he was at my ear, he kissed my earlobe and whispered "I'll never leave you, I'll be back soon", his hand was still on my face and his other hand was gently rubbing circles on my back. And with a touch and a kiss he was gone.
Tears still stained the floorboards, remnants of tears still lingered on my face. A smattering of tears was still on my pale shirt. A trail of ice lingered on the skin he kissed. His smell still hung in the air. His kiss still held on my lips. I touched my face and wondered if this actually happened but the facts were too obvious.
This wasn't a dream. This was real.