„How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all"

"I havn' the slightest idea where she could be" Joe answered a little annoyed. He looked over a huge amount of plates and glimpsed darkly at Leo. "Didn't I tell you to do something with your face? You can't work in a restaurant, lookin' like that, eh!"

Leo moaned. "Listen, I really don't have time for this now. Did she say something?"

The huge guy shook his head. "Nope" he turned and set aside the fragile cargo he was bearing. "She jus' stormed outta here furiously this afternoon. Kinda took your fight really seriously."

"You know about that?" Leo seemed surprised. He didn't think she would really react to that and now she wasn't here any more and didn't leave any clue where to find her.

"Don' ya think I've heard the both of ya yelling in there?" he nodded towards the kitchen.

Leo raised one eyebrow and turned around then. "Well, thanks then."

Damn it!

She must be somewhere. She couldn't just have vanished without a trace, for he knew perfectly well she hadn't anyone here. She came to Jersey five or six years ago after some fight she had with her family. She told him.

"Bloom?" he heard his mighty voice behind him and turned halfway around. "There's a place she often goes to when she's depressed. Maybe you'll check this."

"Where's that?" the smaller man tried to stay calm, even though he was enraged on the inside.

"There's an old building of some fishing business in the havens…It's rather huge and painted red. It was one of some uncle of hers or whatnot. She goes there often. I live nearby and have seen her in there."

Leo felt like he could kiss his boss any minute. So, he flung his arms around him shortly, whispered a 'Thank you!' and rushed outside again, leaving nothing but a perplexed Joe.

"Well?" Carmen stood outside the place Leo worked in and looked at him as though he'd expected Leo had found the holy grail I there.

"The havens" he said out of breath. "They're there for sure…some red building."

"How do you know both of them are there?" Carmen asked without wasting any more thoughts about what Leo just told him.

"I can't explain now, trust me! They are there" Leo answered.

They wandered along the streets, faster than Leo thought. It seemed like an eternity to him; just as if they never reached any point. It was like searching for something they knew for sure didn't exist. Halfway, Carmen turned into another road. He seemed to trust Leo on what he said and was about to call the police about whatever he might thought was going on in the havens.

'I'm doing it again' Leo thought while walking fast without really running, so he wouldn't miss a single detail on his way. 'I'm working with someone I was sure I'd never see again, just to help someone I never wanted to see again. Crazy world, this is!'

He crossed several streets without really noticing the passengers or the growing dusk, bringing autumn mist and the cold Air of the sea. He knew where Joe lived, so he was determined to search the area around his building. If he'd seen Rosie there often, the fishery must have been there somewhere, right?

This whole idea was easy while thinking about it, but actually hard to accomplish, since there were tons of old fisheries and rotten buildings. When Leo arrived there breathless, he didn't know where to turn first.

'This can't be true' he kept thinking. 'Why the hell am I doing this?' His steps slowed down and he stared at the ground. Was this right? Did he misunderstand Rosie's earlier comment and simply made a fuss out of nothing or did he really ought to worry? Why did he desperately try to find this man, when he was fleeing from him for so long? Why did he doubt his behavior now, when secretly he knew this was the right thing to do; yet for years somehow hoped to hear from Max again?

He sighed.

Yeah, he had to admit it. He didn't move far, because of not knowing where to go, but simply because he still had a spark of hope left to be found and to be brought back to his senses.

'I was a fool to vanish like that' he thought, leaning on a wall nearby. 'What was that about anyway?'

"What did I want to prove? That I can do alone without needing someone?" he now said to himself without really noticing he did.

"Well, maybe to find out what you wanted to know" said a voice behind him.

Leo whirled around. He didn't even hear any soul coming close and felt caught somehow.

Rosie.

There she stood, in the door of a huge red warehouse, her arms crossed and with a sinister look on her slender face. She was facing Leo directly, without saying any more.

Leo couldn't breathe. She knew he would come here. He was certain. But how?

When he opened his mouth to say something, she simply nodded and made a gesture towards him, meaning he should come in. He closed his mouth again slowly. This was wrong. He never noticed how good his feelings for what's wrong and right could be, but as he moved forward to do as she wanted, he felt the cold air. A slight wind blew around the many houses down there and the lamps of the city reflected in the distant sea. If there really was a time to run and leave everything behind him, then it was this.

He stopped shortly before the entrance. 'I can't do this' he kept thinking.

"What are you waiting for?" Rosie asked as calmly as could be. She gave him a rather childish look; the one a child casts when asking his mother for some candy.

Leo shook his head slightly, but didn't take off his eyes of Rosie.

"What is it that you want? Why are you doing this?" he asked in a whisper.

Rosie smiled suddenly and all the childish looks had vanished from her face. She looked more grown, more sharp than usual and didn't even try to hide a satanic grin.

"Leo" she said in the instructive tone of an elementary school – teacher. "I didn't do anything."

She closed her eyes for a moment as if she thought about something important. But within seconds she opened them again, facing Leo with a look as sinister as a night without street-lamps.

"You did all this."

Leo felt this strange feeling inside of him. It was like someone hit him with something really heavy on the back. His knees went weak when he saw this and he had the impression not to have the strength to stand steady any more. The reflecting light of a street-lamp nearby was there in a silvery object Rosie hold and which pointed exactly in his direction.

Leo just stood there. He couldn't think nor breathe nor was he able to convince himself to move on.

"Go on" she said. As Leo still didn't move, but kept staring at the gun she held in front of herself, she added: "I'm not afraid to pull the trigger, believe me!"

Finally, his mind was stronger as to argue with her now, so he moved inside the warehouse. It was dark in there, except one tiny lamp shining in the middle of the huge room they were in.

A loud crash sounded behind him and he knew Rosie had closed the doors and locked them carefully. This was like a bad dream.

He dared to breathe in again. He felt all heavy all of a sudden and started to feel the hard floor beneath him.

"Leo?"

His eyes weren't quite used to the darkness so he had to make out the direction of the voice.

"Max?" he said. "You're alright?"

"Yeah" he said. "What are you doing here?"

Leo stood there rather thunderstruck. What was she playing here? He saw the silhouette of Max in front of him, till his eyes finally got used to the darkness.

"What? What are you doing here if she didn't do anything to you?"

"What are talking about?" Max asked and sounded surprised. "She called me and asked me to meet with her here, I don't know why. She just went out to get something she said."

Leo had to digest this for a moment. He did expect everything, but not an answer like that. Then he quickly shook his head to remind himself he was awake.

"No, we ought to get out of here" he added quickly. "She is crazy…"

"What are you talking about?" the older man asked and looked at him as though he doubted his sanity.

"She's gonna do something to you. We gotta get out" Leo said again, touching his arm as though he believed he could make him understand. Yet, he had no idea how to get out or even get past Rosie.

"Leo" Max said, now a little louder to make him listen. "Leo, relax. What's gotten into you? Everything's okay."

Leo turned his head and looked straight into Max's eyes. Why didn't he believe him?

"You know, he's right" he heard Rosie behind them. Both men turned around to find Rosie pointing this gun at them. Leo automatically let go of Max. He seemed to be in shock as well, since both of them kept staring at the silvery object in Rosie's hands in disbelief. Leo looked as though he would start to cry every second. His breath became faster and he knew he would panic soon.

"What is this about?"

Leo looked over to Max. He smiled again and spoke in his normal casual voice as though he thought this was a huge joke.

Rosie grinned again. "Just what he said" she answered.

Max's look changed back to serious again. He looked from Leo to Rosie as though expecting an answer.

"What exactly do you want?" Leo asked, sounding surprised he'd found his voice, although he sounded hoarse and in panic.

Rosie laughed. It was a laugh Leo would never forget his whole life. He can't remember he'd ever heard a more scary laughter than this, although she used her light female voice.

"I'm gonna prove to you what you know already" she answered looking at him. "That it is senseless to wait for a true answer from this guy as long as you live." She nodded towards Max.

"So take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
is against all odds and that's what I've got to face"

"Prove what?" he asked but only a whisper was what came out of his mouth. He never feared someone as much as now. In his mind ran pictures of what might happened when he said something wrong.

"What kind of game is this?" he heard Max next to him. It was like someone shook him awake. Leo turned his head slightly in his direction.

Rosie still stood in front of them and turned her eyes to Max. She lifted her hand and pointed her gun towards him now. Max stepped back a few inches.

"Hm" she said without changing her sinister look. "Why don't you start? This is your chance to tell him what you wanted to."

Max couldn't take his eyes off her. He looked shocked. 'That's the face he did when I left' Leo thought watching him from aside.

"Why do you wanna force him to this?" Leo asked now. "It doesn't matter to you at all."

"Oh yes, it does" Rosie cut his protest with her own words. "I want you to realize you're making a mistake waiting for him. That's not gonna happen Leo!"

What was she talking about?

"I don't wait for…"

"Don't try to kid me" she screamed, but didn't take her eyes off Max. "You kept waiting for this, even though you deny it. You didn't move to any place far away because of that and as much as you may try you can't forget!"

She looked at him from the corner of her eyes now, stretching her arms away from her own body to point more precisely at Max.

"I will show you how easy it is to forget" she grinned. "That what you told me was enough evidence for you to carry on."

Leo felt anger rising inside of him. His hands turned to fists and started to shiver. He never should have told her. What did he think? Did he expect this would ease everything when he talked to someone? After all, it caused all this. He should have stuck to his constant silence. That's what always happened when he trusted people.

"What do you know about that?" he yelled now. "What makes you think you know what I really thought? You don't know why I acted that way!"

"Oh really?" she answered nearly as loud as him now. "Don't you still think this is going to change? Didn't you expect he'd find you someday and everything clears up? I've seen your face when he walked in. You can't hide this. But you see, the truth is…"

She moved closer to Leo now, whispering to him: "He didn't even know where you were. He didn't care. Face it Leo. He said so himself: He doesn't love you!"
"I know" Leo said quietly. Then he looked up to Max. "But he's here now and I was stupid enough not to listen to him when I got the chance."

Max looked at him now, too. He didn't seem to believe what Leo just said. "You…You want to listen now?"

Leo nodded.

Again, Rosie laughed. It was the same scary laugh Leo and Max heard moments ago.

"Oh, this is just perfect" she said, looking from one to another. "A romantic little talk with everyone saying how sorry he is and a clichéd Happy End. Is that what you want Leo? Well, go on then!" She held her hands upright again, minding not to take the missile off Max.

"Tell him what you wanted to say!"

Leo looked at him now expecting him to start as well, though fear was written all over his face still.

Max's face wasn't less frightful. He slightly shook his head and closed his eyes.

"I can't…I... She's right!" he said.

Now, Leo was the one who shook his head.

"You came here to tell me this?" he asked quietly. This couldn't be true. This was it? He was right all the time.

"I didn't really search for you, that's true. But it's wrong to say I didn't care" Max interrupted.

"You said so yourself, just seconds ago" Leo answered with tears in his eyes.

"Leo, I couldn't come after you" he desperately added. "I couldn't for I didn't know how to apologize for what I've done to you. How on earth should I tell you what happened that day? What do you think I should have said to you? Everything would've sounded unbelievable."

Leo still stared at him, forgetting about the rusty old building they were standing in, the dashing cold in this place and the girl who held a gun at Max, threatening him. He just felt himself, the pain within and heard Max's voice as though he'd stand miles away from him.

Max sighed and put his head in his hands.

"I really hoped you'd come back, but after about a month I knew this wasn't gonna happen. It was then I realized what I had done. I am really sorry and I know I can't do anything more to change that than apologize" he said.

Leo was silent. He remained like that for what seemed an eternity. The silence took only his breath across the room; heavy and nearly as though he tried to stop breathing.

"I really thought…"he started again. "I really though I was wrong. I thought all this time I made the mistake. That I simply misunderstood you and you had all right to be angry with me."

He noticed his tears rolling down his cold face.

"But again you proved me wrong."

"No" Max said, looking up to him again. Seeing Leo like this was the one thing in the world he knew would make him weak. This was the moment he feared for three years. To see a desperate Leo not believing a thing he said, although he was certain he deserved disbelief.

"You see, I would've told you that day. You went away without saying anything. I still don't know why I didn't follow you in an instance. Why I waited so long, I don't know either. Hell, I don't even know why I told Roger….you know."

"See what I mean?" Rosie said, stepping forward. Leo jerked when her voice appeared again.

"Leo, open your eyes. This man is the reason for all your suffering. For everything you had to give up. He doesn't love you."

True. He had to give up everything he'd ever dreamed of. But wasn't Max the one who made this come true for him in the first place? He wouldn't have dared to change his life if he'd never met him. And hadn't he been the one, accepting the fact that Max had kissed him in his office without fighting against it?

He saw Max shaking his head again. "It's not true" he said.

Leo looked up, his eyes widened.

"I know I told Roger so, but it really isn't true." He looked straight into Leo's hazel eyes, without caring about Rosie anymore. Although he stood quite some inches away from him, Leo had the feeling as though he was closer to him as ever before.

"I know that now and I am sorry I couldn't admit this years ago. I guess I was afraid of the reaction of everyone around us. But I give a damn now. Leo, I…I really do love you."

"I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all"

"Enough of that" Rosie stepped in again. She seemed to be furious now. She put her finger on the trigger and was determined to finish this.

"This is a lie, don't you see that?" she said coldly. "He's trying to do this with you again."

She looked over her shoulder to Leo. Her look changed from bitter to surprised when she saw Leo's face.

"You…You don't believe him, do you?" she asked. "No! No, I forbid it! This isn't right. No one who ever leaves you will return. People keep saying those things to calm you down. They never mean it."

"Because your family deserted you?" Leo asked, still looking at Max for a moment, then turning slowly to her. Pity and condolence were written in it. Rosie just couldn't stand this disgusting look. No! He wouldn't turn this around. He wouldn't take her into this.

"No" she said, her attention with Max again. "No, this has nothing to do with me. It's him. Don't you see? He doesn't deserve you. Someone as nice and kind as you…" she looked at Leo again. Terrified he noticed tears in her eyes now. Maybe it was the rage she was in now or…

"…You deserve someone who really cares about you. Who will never let you down just like this" she yelled.

"And who's that?" Max asked and stepped forward. He looked angry as well, without any fear of her anymore. "Someone like you?" He nodded towards her while still bearding her. He was only about ten inches away from her, when he stopped. That indeed terrified her. She shrunk a little watching him with wide eyes, as though she feared every movement he might do.

"Can it be" he started again. "Can it be you love him as well? Is this why you're doing this? Jealousy? Or do you just want to prove something to yourself?"

Rosie took a deep breath, then started to cry. She took her hands down and with them, finally, that gun. When she sunk to her knees, Max's look changed to pity. He watched her crying on the floor, then turned to Leo, who still stood petrified behind her. This look was like a good-bye. Neither one of them dared to say anything. Neither one of them really did know what to say.

Then, after what seemed to be hours, Max turned and moved to the door, turning his back on Leo and Rosie.

'This is it' Leo thought, despite the fact that he wasn't really recognizing he thought that. 'He said, what he needed to say. He doesn't even expect me to answer.'

The moment Max reached the door, he suddenly noticed a slight movement of Rosie. She sat on the ground, tears still all over her face, but rose her head and looked madly after Max. When she lifted her right arm again and revealed the gun again, pointing at Max, Leo suddenly understood what she had planned.

"No" he screamed and jumped after Max. As Max turned in surprise, Leo just heard the deafening bang of the bullet, leaving the gun.

"So this is who I am,
And this is all I know,
And I must choose to live,
For all that I can give,
The spark that makes the power grow
And I will stand for my dream if I can,
Symbol of my faith in who I am,
But you are my only,
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead,
I won't let my heart control my head,
But you are my only
We don't say goodbye,
We don't say goodbye,
And I know what I've got to be

Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me inside"

It felt like nothing had happened that moment. Leo heard the cars of the road nearby driving into the nowhere of the night and the ripple of the smallish waves of the seashore outside the warehouse. He heard footsteps towards him and voices calling his name. He didn't feel the impact of his body on the cold gobble-stone floor, nor did he feel any pain. Just a warm, cozy feeling flooding his entire body. He saw something red on the floor next to him. Water? No blood. He smiled. Funny, how did this come here? Someone was touching him, lifting his head up. But he couldn't make out who it was. He just felt tired. Endlessly tired. He heard a second bang, but it sounded as though it came far across the city. Then everything went black.

"Fulfill your destiny,
Is there within the child,
My storm will never end,
My fate is on the wind,
The king of hearts, the joker's wild,
But we don't say goodbye,
We don't say goodbye,
I'll make them all remember me

Cos I have found a dream that must come true,
Every ounce of me must see it through,
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play,
Hand over my heart I'll find my way,
I will make them give to me

Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me, inside
we don't say goodbye
With all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don't say, goodbye"

~To be continued~