„He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With him along, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand, it's always there"

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need him till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there"

A White ceiling. That was all Leo could make up when he opened his eyes again. Nothing more. He felt dizzy and weak. Thank God, this was just a dream. Or was it? He tried to turn his head to look around, though he saw only woolly objects around him and noticed he was in a light room. This wasn't his home. This wasn't his bed. Where was he?

He heard someone entering the room, closing the door quietly.

'Max?' he thought and tried to move his body a bit, so he could see (or guess) who it was.

"You shouldn't move, Mr. Bloom. Not yet" he heard a horribly unfamiliar voice.

Leo sighed. "Who are you?"

"I am Doctor Langston. You are in the Greenville hospital in Jersey City" the man answered.

"Hospital?" Leo's head ached.

"Yes. You've been wounded in the harbor" he responded.

Leo didn't pay much attention to him. "Why does my body hurt like this?"

"As I said, you've been wounded. A girl fired a gun at you and the bullet just missed your right lung. It's really a miracle you are still alive. This is what's hurting you, but it'll be gone soon. It will only leave a tiny scar on your body" he explained.

"I've been shot?" he asked in a whisper.

He could tell the doctor was nodding slightly. "Rosie Chappell, you know her?"

Leo moaned again and tried to sit up, but was pushed back onto the bed by the taller man.

"You shouldn't stand up now" he said. "It will take a few more days, 'til you can walk properly."

Leo stared at him for a moment, trying to see properly at least.

"Rosie? How do you know about her?" he asked without really noticing his questions.

"She was the girl who shot you, actually. The police wants to know a few things, before she'll get out of here, that includes if you knew her" the doctor answered.

"She's here?" Leo asked surprised.

Again, a nod was the only answer he got.

"Why?"

"Well, the two men who brought you here said, she tried to shoot someone else and coincidentally hit you. She seemed in shock afterwards and pointed her weapon at herself. She missed as well, but hit her head slightly. She's much worse than you are actually."

Leo shook his head. He had his problems to follow him, as he still couldn't get every single word he was saying in a second. It took him quite a while to understand.

"Two men brought me here?" he asked after a while.

"Hmm. I suppose they were friends of you. When the police and the ambulance arrived with this girl and you inside, they were with you."

"Where are they now?"

"Not here actually" the doctor answered. "One of them was here every day since you came in, but not today."

"How long have I been here?" Leo asked turning his head in his direction, finally able to see him sharp.

"Three weeks now."

"Somewhere inside is burning
I don't know why it's hurting
Hoping for just one sign in your eyes
That tells me you will be staying
Where can I go to find you?
What must I do to feel you?
I was looking, but too blind to see
You were there, right by my side

Say goodbye, I'll never forget
Say goodbye, I believe in the day
Say goodbye, our hearts could beat both together
'cause we, we'll find a way...one day

What can I do, to hold you
Now that I know, I love you
Never found that our hearts felt the same
'til the cold light of day stole our dreams"

The next day, Leo was able to stand up and walk across the floors in the building. His side was bandaged and every nurse he met on his restless walk told him not to overstate his powers and to lie down again. But he couldn't. He was too restless to lie somewhere quietly.

He just entered the second floor as he walked past one open room. He glimpsed in from the corner of his eyes. He was about to move on, when he realized who was in there.

Rosie.

He stood there in the door, not knowing whether to let her rest or enter.

"Are you a friend of her?" a nurse asked, who suddenly stood next to him. Leo didn't take his eyes off Rosie. Then he nodded.

"Oh, it's nice you visit her then" the nurse smiled. "The poor girl has no one around here. And they keep telling all kinds of nasty stuff about her around here."

"Stuff?" Leo asked, now turning to look at the small woman next to him.

"Yes, they say she tried to shoot someone and shot herself afterwards. Nasty stuff, I don't believe it" she said. "A nice young girl like this. I bet someone couldn't stand her company and did this to her. Maybe a man she loved. It often happens."

Leo's face darkened again, as he turned to Rosie again.

"Oh, but I am babbling and babbling. Please, Sir, you can go in and talk to her" she pointed into the room. "It'd be a nice surprise for her to have someone here."

Leo wanted to shake his head at first, but then did as he was told to. The nurse brought a chair for him and placed it next to Rosie's bed. Then she went out of the room again and closed the door.

Rosie's face indeed didn't look too well. It was bandaged, but a few drops of dried blood was still there on the skin of her face. Leo sat down next to her. Surprisingly he didn't feel any hatred towards her. Maybe it was because he still couldn't believe what everyone was telling him. Or the simple fact, that he couldn't remember.

'Did you really do this?' he thought, while watching her closed eyes in front of him. Maybe there was something true about this. He remembered her trapping him and Max in an old warehouse. She had a gun, he knew that far. He also knew the forced talk between Max and him, but did she really go as far as to shoot at him? He closed his eyes too, as if he could remember better then. Yes, he thought it was possible. She pointed this silver thing at Max and all he knew was he jumped after him. Maybe she really hit him coincidentally. It must've been a coincidence, because she obviously wanted to hit Max.

"You?" he heard a weak voice next to him. Leo opened his eyes again to find Rosie awake, yet weak lying there.

He nodded slightly, but without the slightest sign of sympathy towards her.

"What are you doing here?"

Leo sighed and thought for a moment. He looked around. Besides the medical machines around Rosie's bed, there wasn't anything else. She was alone in there, no flowers or cards or stuff you would expect in a patient's room. Just the pale white walls.

"You look horrible" she said again in a whispering tone.

Leo looked at her again. "Well, thanks to you."

She smiled slightly, but it looked more as though she was in pain really.

"Whaddya want, Leo?" she asked again turning her head away from him.

"I wanna thank you" he said. She certainly didn't expect that. Quickly he felt her eyes upon him again.

"Thank me?" she asked surprised.

Again, he nodded.

"I think I know why you did this" he said. "You wanted to force me to talk to him again to get over all that happened. Sadly, you did it the wrong way."

Now, she nodded. "Well, now you know what you wanted to know. He wouldn't die for you."

Leo looked down and smiled.

"Yes, you were right about that, but you see, there's something I noticed back in the warehouse."

Rosie stared at him. He was smiling. He finally got evidence for what he was looking for, and smiled. Did he understand this properly?

"What's that?" she asked weakly.

Leo looked up to her again, still smiling.

"I would!"

When he was finally able to leave the hospital a day later, with the instruction to take care of himself,he had to use crutches to walk on for at least three more weeks. Leo didn't really think of going home at first. Instead, he took a cab to Manhattan. When they crossed the borders and he finally saw the huge buildings and the crowded streets again, he felt strange. He knew it was years ago but it felt so much longer since he last walked through here. The afternoon sun lighted the buildings and their windows gave a glitter away, he missed all the time. People seemed busy and hurried towards their places, wherever that was. No one noticed him there; no one knew what had happened or what he was going to do. No one cared. That was the New York he knew.

When they arrived on Broadway, Leo paid the driver and stood there, breathing in deeply. He looked around. Not much had changed. He practically lived next door all the time and never dared to come here again. The posters and adds were more, but everything else seemed to be the same.

He crossed the street and stood in front of the Shubert's; that theater he knew so well.

'Think twice : opening night tomorrow'

That's what he read on the signs surrounding the building. Leo smiled. He walked around the building and used the well-known backstage entrance. It was open, of course. There were rehearsals for sure. He stumbled across the stairs and used the door to the rows. When he opened it, he heard Roger's familiar screaming on the stage. This was the last day and Roger surely was nervous. Leo giggled and closed the door as silently as he could. The scenery was there and some actors in their costumes stood on stage, watching Roger's wild explanations rather bored. The rest of the crew sat in the first two rows, most of them not paying attention to Roger's rage. They sipped their coffee or read some newspapers. This was just normal, Leo reminded himself. Everyone looked lazy and he was sure they all knew their parts of by heart for weeks.

He looked around. With Roger on stage, there were only two people left he really needed to find here. Carmen, one of them stood right in front of the stage, but didn't seem to listen to Roger's screaming either, but talking to Max about something and smiled. Max. There he was.

Leo hobbled through the aisles without really losing his smile. This was all so familiar, he almost couldn't believe he abandoned all this.

"For the last time, I want you to…..Mr. Bloom?!" Roger stood on stage and suddenly forgot to scream at the actors. He looked down. Since he stood higher than all the others, he could see Leo coming down from the door above.

Everyone in the theater was turning around. Carmen started to grin immediately and Max looked shocked. He stood there for a while, when Carmen slightly pushed him away from his place. 'Go on' he mouthed as he earned a rather confused look from Max.

Max sighed and walked slowly towards Leo. He felt everyone still watching them. Leo had stopped and still smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Max asked quietly.

"I could leave this morning" Leo answered.

Now Max smiled as well. "You're looking good."

Leo gave a short laugh. "Liar!"

One look and he somehow felt okay again, despite the pain that was still there. Again, it felt much longer than it really lasted. Then, Max turned for a short moment, just to find everyone still staring at the pair of them. He coughed quickly and turned back. To Leo's delight he blushed a little and started to gesture again.

"What do you say about us going outside for a minute?" he asked quietly.

Leo, still smiling, raised his eyebrows and nodded.

It took him quite a while to get out again. Hopping downstairs was fine, but climbing them up with crutches was hard work, really. Max however walked silently behind him, watching every step Leo did carefully, to help him. Just in case.

When they arrived the back-door again, he opened it for Leo, who was out of breath, but never felt better.

"You still got pain?" he asked concerned.

"Hmm" the younger man answered. "A little, but it's nothing. It'll go away soon they told me."

They stood side by side, simply looking at each other. There it was again, that embarrassing silence, Leo couldn't stand. Apparently, Max could neither. He put his hands into his pockets and seemed to search for something. He found rather quickly what he was looking for and a few seconds later he pulled a blue blanket out.

"I guess that's yours" he said, handing it to Leo. He took it, but looked surprised. He didn't even notice he'd lost it.

"Where…"

"You lost it when….when this happened" Max said, nodding at his crutches and looking away shortly afterwards. "I…I washed it, you know. There was…there was blood all over it, but I guess it looks fine again."

Leo looked at it in disbelief and really was shocked. He never thought he could care less about that thing.

"Thought you were kinda lost without it" Max continued and smiled shyly.

"Thanks" he answered absent-minded. He safely put it into the pocket of his coat and looked up again.

"Listen, I…I want to thank you" he said slowly. Now he had the surprising moment on his side.

"What for?" Max asked and Leo noticed this question was meant honest. It was in his voice; in his eyes.

"You know" he shrugged. "I possibly wouldn't be alive anymore if you and Carmen didn't… well, tell him thanks from me too, will you?"

Max shook his head and looked down again. 'He doesn't look me in the eyes' Leo thought and it made him smile again.

"There's nothing to thank me for. If you hadn't jumped in, it would have hit me, actually" he said.

"Then maybe you listen to me this time?" Leo interrupted.

Max stood completely still, as if he didn't know what to do. Then he nodded.

"I wanna apologize for everything. Everything I said to you, the way I acted and the thing with Rosie…"

"It wasn't your…"

"Oh yes, it was!" Leo didn't notice his voice getting a little louder for what he tried to say was hard enough anyway. "If I didn't tell her what had happened…well, she'd never had called you and all this would never had happened. I'm really sorry for that and I hope you can forgive me."

He looked up and saw Max looking him directly in the eyes, although there was much space between them. He smiled. It was a sad smile though; something Leo had never seen on him before.

"I wouldn't have got the chance to talk to you, if it hadn't happened" he said. "So, forget about it." He shrugged and quickly looked away again.

Leo sighed. This was strange. He used to talk to him about nearly everything in a carefree way. This was like talking to a stranger, although it felt way too familiar to be different.

"I know this changed a lot" he finally said.

"Hmm" Max leaned against the wall of the theater. "It's not gonna be the way it was, right?"

Leo noticed the tone in his voice and knew he was right. Sure, he was talking to him again and he was there, next to him in a place he thought he'd never see again, but the days they stood here as friends and merely friends were over. He had to admit, he knew this would happen the moment he decided to come here.

"What will you do now? Going back to Jersey, working in that restaurant?" he heard Max next to him.

He nodded. And this was the truth. He didn't actually ever think about changing that. Not a single moment.

Max smiled again. "You'll keep in touch this time, right?"

"Yes" Leo turned towards him. "You can be sure of that."

The sun was about to vanish and left nothing but red shades on the tops of the skyscrapers, when those two said goodbye again. A handshake and a smile and Leo walked off again. The sky already began to turn bluish-black at its far end, when Leo finally got out of sight.

Max stood on the street a long time, watching after him, even though he probably had taken a cab by now and was heading home.

"So you're leaving
In the morning
On the early train
But I could say everything's alright
And I could pretend and say goodbye

Got your ticket
Got your suitcase
Got your leaving smile
Oh, I could say that's the way it goes
And I could pretend and you wont know
That I was lying

Because I cant stop loving you
No, I cant stop loving you
No, I wont stop loving you
Why should I"

"You let him go just like that?"

Max didn't even turn to know it was Roger standing next to him now.

"Yes" he answered, still looking down the street. "He said what he needed to and so did I. It's for the best."

Then, he turned, gave Roger a short glance and walked inside the building again.

'What a sad ending for them' Roger thought, before heading after him. 'They really love each other, no doubt.'

"Because I cant stop loving you
No, I cant stop loving you
No, I wont stop loving you
Why should I even try
Ill always be here by your side
I never wanted to say goodbye
I'm always here if you change, change your mind"

It was late when they finally decided the show to be okay. About 1 am Max arrived in his office, closing the door carefully behind him. He hung up his coat and walked over to the windows. It had started to rain outside hours ago and the wet streets made the pavement look like mirrors. The reflection of the street-lamps made the whole street look brighter than it was in reality.

Max was lost in his thoughts. This was going to be that way for a while, he knew that for good. Problem was, he didn't know how to get past it. He tried to focus on what was important for him now. Bringing the play up, getting reviews and living his life as he used to. But it didn't work. Even though there still was enough to do, all he could think about was Leo. They'd stay in touch now, he said so himself. So, why waste another thought about him now?

Max sighed, putting his head on the window-glass.

'Truth is…" he thought. '…there's nothing more important in my God-damn life.'

Since he knew where Leo was and that he was well, he longed to be with him again, even though he knew this would destroy their new start. So, all he could do was suffer secretly and let it be. At least they could have a chance to be friends again. Nothing else mattered! What other road should there be? He already did what he needed so desperately to do. He already told him everything and had the great fortune he believed him. That was more than enough.

Then why couldn't he get away with this? As often as he kept telling himself it was enough, it just wouldn't work.

"What am I gonna do?" he whispered.

Then, a knock on the door brought him back to his mind. He turned and walked to open it. It was Roger for sure or his freaky little assistant, who just remembered something important about tomorrow, which just couldn't wait one more night. Every time, it was the same.

He opened the door rather annoyed, without taking a closer look on his visitor.

"Okay, you're lucky I'm still up, Roger…why can't this wait 'til…." He suddenly stopped dead.

It was Leo standing in front of him, wet to the skin and with the most desperate look he'd ever seen.

He shook his head shortly and was just about to ask what he was doing here, when Leo fell in his arms without a warning; forcing both of them to their knees.

"I can't do this" he cried frantically.

"What?" Max asked surprised, yet not able to find his proper voice.

"I can't" Leo looked up to him. It almost broke Max's heart when he saw tears running down his face.

"This is not right" Leo kept saying desperately. "I can't go on, pretending nothing changed."

Max wiped away a tear of Leo with his thumb as he took his head with both hands.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and felt tears in his eyes as well.

"When I was nearly home, I noticed I couldn't go. Not like that. I turned and came back" Leo cried. "You were right. This changed a lot. And I don't want to go on. I…I can't stand being so close to you and yet so far away."

His voice got hysterical. Max tried to catch every word he said, but shaking his head just as though he didn't understand what the younger man was trying to tell him.

"I should've realized earlier. Or should've said something" Leo said, now with a hoarse voice. "I love you. I already did many years back, but I was too blind to see it."

Max stared at Leo for a moment, his breath getting faster. He swung his arms around him in a bear hug and kept still. Both of them did, actually. Why couldn't they freeze this moment and hold it forever? Leo, still sobbing on his shoulders, here, without Max really expecting it. He never even thought of that.

What now? What was gonna be? This wasn't what they had planned. This wasn't what either one of them expected. They were sure this wasn't even meant to be, still it happened that moment.

"Leo?" Max whispered, opening his eyes slightly without letting go of him.

"Hmm?"

"Stay!"

When he fell asleep in Max's arms than night, he didn't doubt anything anymore. He knew this was a different start, a different path, even a completely different life. But this was exactly what he wanted.

He clung to Max a little more and whispered 'I love you!' until he fell asleep.

Maybe this was the way life was. Unexpected and not at all the way he had planned it.

Maybe, sometimes you'll have to think twice.

~ The End ~