These first few chapters are going to be mostly character building and also some suspense building. I have to lay the ground work for what Shinji is feeling and what he is experiencing which should lead the readers to wonder what the heck is going on. All will be explained soon. But for a while you will just have to read and speculate but understand that this stuff will probably include themes from different animes without being a total cross over. The summary is still the same though. That will flow out eventually but now you have to understand the new characters.

I stared at my blue shirt finding great solace even though my scrawny pale arms were exposed. Captain Katsuragi stayed quiet as I walked next to her. Her brows were knitted together in some form of concentration. Probably thinking about my last little…action.

I-I don't even know what started that. As soon as I left those white walls the memories stopped and I felt normal again. Yep, my old normal, stupid, angst, lying self…I held back a gasp at the dark voice in my head that was my conscience. The white was gone and I felt better…until I looked at my white shoes. I hated them but at least they were not as big as my shirt and quickly looked up. It was at the right moment to because we stopped at a pink elevator. As Captain Katsuragi went to press the button the doors open to …him.

My blood began to boil again as his cold eyes began to glare at my own.

He doesn't love you at all

He doesn't care about you

You don't need him

Maybe he can just burst into flames haha

Little voices that I thought were from my conscience bloomed forward at the sight of my father that really were never present before. With his cold glare I focused on that last comment and tried my best burning glare. I probably looked ridiculous but…but there was something forcing me not to turn away. Before that monster I turned away but now I-I couldn't turn away.

I wanted to burn him with my pain and anger. I wanted him to feel and burn away into ashes and never bother my life again, no matter how pathetic. He glared on with his cold stare trying to freeze me.

As soon as the elevator opened they closed and I kept glaring in the insane hope the elevator he was on would spontaneously combust. Once I again realized what I was doing I almost gasped at myself and willed my head to the side in anger. I heard a sigh and remember that the Captain was right beside me.

We rode the elevator to an unknown destination. The woman next to me still silent. I thought about the glare and why I had done it. My brain was split on one side it cried for father's praise and attention. Wanting to submit to his cold glare as long as I could obtain his praise but on the other screamed malice. It screamed his head on a spike. It screamed a life that I didn't have but was the results of his actions. It screamed a life of pain that were because of his actions. A life that for certain was not real but just decided to pop up in these last few hours after leaving that purple monster. All these weird memories just popped up and I know they were never real they just happened. I'm angry at a life I did not experience. I don't understand.

We stopped and my musings stopped. We stepped into a strangely tiled room with a guy in a suit who explained my living arrangements. I was secretly screaming for joy that my father didn't want me around but then again I felt a squeeze in my heart .

"Sixth block from Nerv headquarters", the guy said with a gruff voice.

"You mean he is living alone!", screamed the purple haired women. She looked at me with strong eyes trying to get me to defy the man's request. I replied with the part of me that was still…me…I think.

"It's okay Misato, I'm alone anyway", she stared at me incredulously.

"He's staying with me", she said with strong conviction.

"No we need to be alone", something whispered in the back of my mind. I quickly turned around expecting something to be there. No one was there.

"You need to be alone", it said again whispering in my ear. I turned back as the guy began to speak.

"Captain Katsuragi, you will have to get clearance- " the man began to say

"I know I need clearance but this child cannot be alone", she said with stronger resolve.

"Stop her, speak up, speak up, you know we need to be alone",

"Shut up", I told my conscious…if it even was that. I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to stop the voices. The adults were still talking about something but their voices were whispered out as others sprung up in their request. I felt my body instantly start to heat up as my heart began to race.

"I want you full attention; don't get distracted by some woman"

"Shut up", I couldn't catch my breath. I started panting trying to make my lungs to calm down.

"No I want his attention, I talked to him first"

"Shut up", I started getting dizzy and I closed my eyes to try to stop.

"He doesn't even remember us. And don't tell us to shut up"

"She only thinks of you as a tool…not healthy for you. Not healthy for your memory"

"I SAID SHUT UP", a voice screamed out. I heard a gasp and I realized it was my own. My eyes snapped open to a wide eyed Captain Katsuragi and the guy had his hand inside his jacket; most probably getting ready to pull out his gun.

My hand quickly flew to my mouth as the reaction started to set in. "I-I'm s-s-sorry…I wasn't talking to you…well wait I was I just…I didn't mean to say it like that…I'm sorry" the last word died to a whisper on my lips but then I decided that maybe it was best that I didn't stay with the Captain…according to my conscious. I couldn't say that I was talking to some weird voices in my head so I had to quickly change my words…hopefully they will follow and drop the outburst. Actually I don't know what those voices were connected to but to make myself feel sane I argued that they were just a part of my self-conscious that I have always pushed to the back.

"B-but I really don't want to stay with you Captain Katsuragi…I'll be fine by myself", part of me felt guilty because her face looked quite crestfallen but the other part of me…the one with the voices felt elated.

I just kept silently repeating to myself to follow my conscious…yes the voices are my conscious…I had to tell myself this because if they weren't then…that would make me insane. I'm not insane or…or maybe that monster did something to me but I'm not insane.

I'm normal. I…I am.

"Shinji…I…you can't…ugh fine", she resolved with a saddened look and gave me a weary smile. The guy in the suit still looked a little shaken but gave her my documents.

"Actually ya know I should have listened to you more Shinji", she began as we walked back to the elevator. "You said you were fine being alone and I guess I just found that kind of weird ya know", I stared back at her and gave her a small nod and a hopefully nice smile. "It's fine…I guess it is kind of weird but I kind of like it, Captain Katsuragi". Her brows creased for a second before saying "Well as long as you are happy BUT", she started and made sure to emphasis this with stern look "I am still your guardian so if you need anything DO NOT hesitate to ask, and please call me Misato", she finished with a surprisingly happy tone that was different from the beginning. I nodded again still not trusting my voice.

"Good we don't need her anyway" a voice piped up.

"Shut up"

The drive to my new home was quiet but slightly comforting. Every once in a while Cap- Misato would chirp up and state some weird occurrence she saw or talk about the nice weather. I hummed along.

When we made it to the complex I was able to finally get a good look at my new home. It was actually kind of nice. There were a couple of families I could tell by the furniture on the decks. I wouldn't want to venture out at night but it will do.

We continued to the elevator and walked up to my new door. It already had my name on the plate. "So here is your new key, your new Nerv card and oh…you money card", Misato said cheerfully.

I was given the 3 important items but inspected the money card. She must have felt my confusion and said "Since you live alone and are of now a Nerv employee you have a stipend of $800 a month, this should account for food and any other necessities", she continued talking as I opened the door.

"If you have any type of medical emergency the number for Nerv's facilities are on the back of the card".

I walked into a nice sized kitchen. "Good I learned how to cook", I thought to myself and then a bedroom. A bare metal frame with an old looking mattress stood in the corner. A dingy night stand stood next to the bed and one bare window above the bed.

"Well with some posters and a few curtains this place will look just like home". She said cheerfully. After a moment "You sure you don't want to stay with me Shinji…I really wouldn't mind", she added. I was surprised at her concern.

I shook my head "No Misato. I'll be fine", I gave her another smile.

"Okay", she said warily but then her eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

"How about we go shopping! Oh that will be great I can help you get all situated in your new home. Oh I can't believe I forgot about that", she almost jumped for joy at the thought. She immediately began to drag me out of the house and back to her car.

I was surprised at her concern and her strong willingness to help me. I felt a warm fuzzy feeling swim up inside of me and again I smiled.

We drove to the store and I realized that she really did like to shop. We bought more than enough food. Most of which I had to intervene on because she almost bought all instant food. And of course she went shopping for herself which consisted of all instant food and cases of beers. I don't think I've known anyone who's drunk that much.

I was grateful for her feminine expertise with picking linens and items for my room. She actually made things match. I had to make sure she didn't buy anything white. I also made sure to buy some more dark coloured shirts and clothing since I was sure all I packed were white shirts. I cringed at the thought of wearing another white shirt.

An hour later we were done. And I was exhausted.

As we were checking out I felt a weird feeling on the back of my neck. The hairs started to stand up and a cold feeling ran up my spine. I turned around almost fearful of doing so while Misato read a magazine. My eyes locked with a man who was staring directly at me. He had tanned skin, an eye patch, wild hair and was in a police uniform. His eyes were a creepy shade of teal that off set his tan skin and black hair.

Suddenly the room began to get fuzzy while his form began to gain more focus. He smirked. Did he feel what he was doing to me? Was he trying to do something?

My heart began to race and matched the fluttering wings of a hummingbird. I couldn't catch my breath again…actually no air just wasn't even trying to reach my lungs. I felt my hand shacking and it almost felt like I was having a heart attack. Those headaches's came back but this time fuzzy memories came back but the strange part is that this guy was in them. His face was blurred but he was definitely there.

"And subject 250 wins!"

"I have no reason to kill a child especially one that doesn't want to live"

"Hey don't die yet…wake up…wake up"

"SHINJI", I was jerked out of…whatever that was by Misato's shrill voice and her firm hand on my shoulder. I had gained a lot of stares. Even the cop looked a little worried but he still had a smug look on his face. Like I know him from somewhere b-but I've never seen him before. I know I've never seen him before.

"I need your card", she began to look worried but still had a slightly impatient look. "Oh", I said with embarrassment. "Here ya go", Misato looked at me with a nod and her eyes flicked to the cop before she gave the card to the cashier.

I looked back also and he was calmly reading a magazine…as if nothing happened.

"Okay let's go", she had lost some of her perkiness as she dragged the basket.

I trudged on and ignored the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and I walked on.

We quickly got together putting items in the refrigerator and putting up decorations and linens. The apartment was already furnished with kitchenware and such.

"Well it looks like home now", she said.

"Yeah it really does. Thanks Misato!", I spoke back with real gratitude in my voice.

"You're quite welcome Shinji. Again if you need anything here is my number", she gave me a slip of paper.

"And don't be afraid to call. And don't open doors to strangers. If you need a grocery buddy just call me and-",

"Okay, okay I get it", I cut off her little rant. She looked nervous and asked "Are you sure about this kid. I really don't feel right leaving you all alone".

Again her concern surprised me. Even my old guardian wasn't this nice. "Yeah", I said "but thank you", she opened her mouth as if to say something but closed it quickly. I walked her to the door and she waved me off.

I felt a small sense of freedom as the door closed. Sure I needed to add some bleach and scrub the place down a bit but it looked really nice.

"Yeah it does look nice"

"Perfect place to start to heal"

"No distractions and large floor area"

"SHUT UP" I screamed.

I began muttering "It is just my conscience" to myself and almost wished the woman was back since it seemed to keep quiet around her. Maybe…maybe I could talk to someone about this…no,no they would just think I was crazy. I'm already a tool so thinking that I was crazy would be much worse.

Buzzzzz

I broke out of my mantra as I looked through the fridge to a buzzing noise indicating that someone was there. But who at this time of night?

I looked through the peep hole to a bright shiny…badge?

"OPEN UP, this is the police", a gruff voice called out.

I scrambled to open the door fearing the worse. I didn't know what type of worse but who wants to piss off a cop.

I swung the door open to come face to face with that cop. The one from the store.

"Well hey new neighbour", he said with a smile.

I almost screamed.