Thanks for who ever is still reading. Still introducing characters that will have a larger impact later on. They might seem like antagonists but who knows they might end up good later so keep your mind open since some people in Nerv definitely seem like antagonists also.
The scream was lodged in my throat. The logically part of my brain or basically another voice chimed in "Why are you screaming. He is our friend". I swallowed the scream as he extended his hand. I grabbed it quickly hoping to have an even quicker exit. That wish was not granted. My hand was grasped by his larger, stronger one. It was like even his muscles in his fingers were ripped. I felt really puny in my blue shirt and bared arms. His shake lingered for longer than necessary and when he finally let go I felt something…like I had lost something.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up like they did before but I pushed my fear behind me and focused on the strange comforting feeling I was getting from this guy. I shouldn't be afraid of a friendly police officer yeah? He looked familiar but not. Maybe I saw him coming in off the tracks before Misato picked me up…no wait he would have been in the shelter by then.
"So I read on you door Ikari right. What is your first name?", He asked quite pleasantly with a small smile still planted on his face. His voice was slightly scratchy but deep. I snapped out of my reverie and chimed "O-Oh my first name is Shinji…right Shinji Ikari", I could feel a blush creeping to my face as I stumbled over the simple sentence. I just get so weird around this guy. It's like part of me wants to feel comfortable but then the other part keeps reminding me that I don't know this guy. That part of me wants to run away. And then there was that incident in the store. What the heck was that?
For a moment I thought I saw a brief frown and coldness go over his eyes but it must have been my exhaustion since it was quickly replaced with friendliness.
"Oh okay Shinji Ikari my name is Leon Munroe and of course I am a part of the Tokyo-3 Police force in the 2nd district", he introduced himself with a small bow. His name was so American sounding but he spoke perfect Japanese. But then again he really didn't look Japanese maybe he was biracial.
"So was that your mom or your sister leaving a minute ago", he said with a curious tone. "Oh no sir that was just my guardian", I sputtered. I could almost hit myself in the head. Why am I telling this guy all of my information? It's like my initial fear is slowly forming into trust…but it shouldn't. I just met this guy b-but police are trustworthy right? No,no anyone can be evil. Why do I feel safe around him?
"Because we can trust him"
"Shut up" I told the little voice. I just wish they would all go-
"So you are here all by yourself", he asked with a slight worried tone. I nodded "I'm fine though…So how is being a police officer", I tried to change the subject and feign interest. I didn't really want to go through the reasons for my single living.
"Oh it is great kid. Really great", he said with a little pride and his sharp eyes honed onto mine "I usually work around Block G and I'm always worried about Osprey's those things are killers, they hunt fish but they can attack if you get too close", he said with very sharp eyes.
"Block G…Osprey", I whispered to myself and just like that my world went fuzzy and black.
"Instead of subject 250 your new name is Osprey. Don't worry we still have your old name for reference but for the sake of fighting you need a new name, I've always like birds. All of your friends will be named after a bird. I hope you like your new home it will be in Block G". I looked up to a guy with a too cheery smile on his face and I walked…no I was wheeled to a large metal door with the letter G painted on. The door looked like it held a fortress behind its walls. All metal and cold looking, slightly enshrouded by flickering lights and darkness. The letter G looked like it was made in blood.
I was too tired to move. My heavy head tilted down to a white jumpsuit. My hands were heavily scared with what looked like track marks from injections. The rest of my body was covered but I could tell the scars were not just on my hands. The tips of my fingers hurt. Actually my fingers, my legs, and my arms…goodness everything hurt. I heard a muted noise in front and the door began to rise. I was hit with a blinding light and …
I was in a ring now. "Alright our new kid, normally called subject 250, is now Osprey and today he is fighting the vicious Raven! "A news caster called out from a loud speaker shaped bird from above. I looked at my opponent who looked at me incredulously. It was a tall man with tan skin, black spiky hair and teal eyes. He was all muscles even his fingers had muscles. He said something that I couldn't understand. It sounded muffled. I brought my finger to my mouth and bit down drawing blood. When I looked back up a large scythe made from a deep crimson material was rushing towards my body. And I felt it cut through like butter. I screamed.
I jumped up and I immediately touched my chest expected a large scar splattering blood. I could hear my own screeches and pants as I tried to check for scars. I even lifted my shirt just to make sure but all I saw was pale skin. I was so frantic I did not notice the other person in the room with me until I felt large warm hands grasp mine in an attempt to calm me down. They were too strong for me to continue flailing.
"Are you okay kid? I was talking to you at one point and then the next you just blacked out", I stared at him wide eyed. He looked just like that guy in my dream b-but that guy was trying to kill me. This guy wasn't right? His eyes held worry but something else I couldn't place my finger on. Like he was trying to search through my eyes for something. Whether he saved me or not he needs to go.
He gave me a smirk and a sharp headache racked my skull. His grip was soft enough that I could wretch my hand and hold my aching head.
"Maybe I should take you to the doctor", he said. I cracked an eye open to find him looking worried with those teal eyes. "No I think you should go", his frown deepened. I hoped off the bed with my hand still nursing my head. "Please leave", I said while holding the door open.
"You sure", he began as he walked towards the door
"Yes sir. Thank you very much for helping me. I'm just tired and I need some sleep", I said with a yawn for emphasis.
He left with a chuckle and a good night.
That guy/cop was too weird. At one point he was nice and friendly. I actually felt comfortable around him and then the next I was terrified of him again. Now I'm just annoyed. Who chuckles at someone who just had a night mare and blacked out? Why was he in my dream? Ugh none of this makes sense!
I rushed to my bed, ignoring my grumbling stomach, and dove under the dark sheets. It was a PITA trying to find non-white sheets at that store and even more trying to explain to Misato why I didn't want anything white or pastel colored even if it was blue. I pulled out my SDAT player intending to tune in and drop out. I turned the music on and tried to do just that. But I couldn't. This is so strange. I couldn't stand the music at all. The earphones hurt my ears and the music did nothing to sooth me like it used to. Actually the headache got worse!
I could feel a burning behind my eyes. My music is how I escaped. I could ignore everything outside of me with it and now I can't even stand it. I have no escape! I'm changing too much after that damned Eva. And I have to pilot that thing again. I don't even know for how long. I have to be in that thing and…and what if this gets worse. I can't tell anyone or they'll think I'm going crazy and why would they care anyway. My eyes were burning with exhaustion as my headache finally began to ebb away.
I ripped out the SDAT with the earphones and just listened to the environment. The cicadas, the crickets, the wind rustling through the trees. Soft whispers began to lull me to sleep. Too low for me to understand but they were soothing. My conscious…right my conscious…the little voices that were generally annoying were now providing me comfort.
And soon I left the world to a thankfully dreamless sleep. But unfortunately it was not a quiet, dreamless sleep.
"I want my baby", a woman screamed
"Where is my wife; where is my family", a young man cried
"I had two grandchildren and I can't find them", an older man wailed
"Are we dead", a young girl cried
"Where is my heaven", a man screamed
"My hopes and dreams are gone", a boy cried
"My soul wanes in another for eternity", another person wailed
"For eternity we are in him", an old woman sobbed
Sobs, moans, wails and crying. They were so soothing before but now they are restless. There are many more before. They have no faces but their voices are heard loud and clear.
"We will not be silenced! We are individuals! Combining us in some type of soup will not quiet our cries", a man cried vehemently.
"Wake up…Wake up", the voices fused to a familiar female's voice.
I awoke in an instant. "SHINJI! SHINJI!... For heaven's sake where are you kid", I looked around and spotted a phone on the decrepit desk that for some reason I missed the other night. I felt groggy. I did not have dreams… just a bunch of moaning and crying voices.
I reached over and grabbed it. "Hello", I cringed at my morning voice "Sheesh kid. You party without me last night", I heard Misato say humorously. I ignored the jab not really feeling like playing "Well I forgot to tell you last night but you need to be at NERV at 11:00 am this morning", I gawked at the phone. "How the heck does someone forget that", I thought. "Sorry about that. It's now about 9:30 am so you should have enough time…unless you partied a little too much last night", she laughed at the last part while I stuttered to find a response with my sleep addled brain. "I'm just messing with you kid. See you at 11:00. Bye-bye", I said bye and we both hung up. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. At least it wasn't white. Instead it was off-white.
"Don't let it happen"
"Never again…Don't let it happen"
"You are the key"
I cringed at the whispers but as crazy as it sounded I thought maybe I should play along. They seemed to want a response. Wait no not "they" my conscious. Yes my conscious and I have conversations. People do it all the time; you are not crazy Shinji. You are not crazy.
"Not let what happen", I asked
"Combination, emersion, death, and explosion" a combination of voices echoed
"I don't understand" I answered back
"You were too young", it answered
"Then how am I supposed to not let it happen again", I responded.
"Do not overestimate your humanity. Do not underestimate your humanity"
"You are human. That is all. Do not extend your limits but do not limit yourself. The people before over-extended their limits"
"Do not play God"
"And what did the people do before", I was really interested in the conversation and what they were talking about.
They brought up visions of a massive red gas or liquid encasing white structures that looked like icebergs. White wings like those that demons had in the Catholic Church spread amongst the red abyss. And just like that chaos consumed the earth.
"They played God and with that the whole world was burned for their sins"
"Impact…combining of souls…Adam"
"Do not let it happen again…do not let the lillum achieve their goal…weak, uncompassionate, inhumane lillum…God hungry lillum"
"What the heck is a lillum", I said out loud. The whispers died down to an annoying buzz in the back of my head. "Hello?" I tried but I guess they were done. "Rude bastards", I said out loud. They start up a whole conversation in my mind and then leave me hanging.
My stomach grumbled loudly and I looked at my plastic clock and noticed that it was 10 minutes past 10:00. I hopped out of bed quickly for breakfast before I had to set foot inside that monster again.
I really hate the color white. But I hate the red LCL color even more. I feel uncomfortable as if it will swallow me whole and I forget myself. I sat in the cockpit of the Eva and stared at my blue and white suit waiting for some field training.
"Hey Dr. Akagi",
"Yes Shinji",
"Could you change the color of my plugsuit",
"What?"
"Could you change the color of my plug suit…maybe to a black and blue combination instead of black and white",
(Silence)
"I-I can check that for you Shinji…it is just a color so I do-",
"NO!" I snapped. I heard a small gasp. "I-I'm sorry Dr. Akagi I just don't feel comfortable in the color white. I-I could you just please check into it", I said in the softest and nicest voice I could muster. Pinching the bridge of my nose as embarrassment and surprise from my own actions took over.
"Fine", she sounded a little peeved. I squirmed in my chair because I did not mean to make such an outburst. I usually don't.
"Ready for the test", she piped up after a minute or so.
"Yes I am", I replied in a soft voice.
I felt the weird presence surround my brain that was the Eva trying to connect. I found this thing weird. The first time I almost freaked out. It was like an invasion of my own personal space from something that made me feel uncomfortable. And the whole thing was just creepy. I mean it seemed alive. The last thing I remember before blacking out last time was an eye. I know I saw a real eye once the armor fell off. I think it even zoned in on my form or something. Could this thing actually be something living?
I felt a heavy presence in the back of my subconscious. And then a digging like feeling. It felt really weird like this thing was trying to dig itself into my brain. I didn't like that. I don't want it to see anything but if I don't allow some entrance I will not be able to sync with it correctly. What is in this thing anyway?
I tried to relax. The quicker I can sync the quicker I can get out of this thing. I closed my eyes trying to just find solace in silence but of course my 'conscience' wouldn't allow that.
"This thing is crying"
"This being is crying"
"Don't allow passage"
"She left you. She doesn't deserve passage"
"Ignore her cries"
And just like that a wall rose up in my brain that I know I had no control over. The feelings from the Eva were gone. My eyes snapped open to the weird feeling and a screech over the intercom.
"SHINJI! SHINJI! What is wrong",
I didn't understand but then I felt a strong ringing…no wait it wasn't ringing…it…it was screaming. Angry screaming…war cries.
I grabbed my ears to stop but it continued. The presence was overwhelming and I could do nothing to stop the increasing pressure. It was like a large dam was placed and something was trying to push through. Something was pushing out of my brain. No wait something was pushing another something out of my brain. It was uncomfortable and painful. I could even scream or was I screaming and didn't even know it? Was it the Eva? Its presence was their before but now it is different. It's trying to gain passage but something is pushing it away.
I heard some communication from outside but not much. It was muffled by arguing and screaming from…from I don't even know what.
"You are not allowed"
"What happened to him"
"So many died last time and you continue to cause more deaths"
"Why is he hurting?"
"He hurts because of you and your lover"
"He was mine first. I want him. He still is mine"
"You are not allowed"
"I need him. I made this to protect him and show him a brighter future!"
"You are not allowed. His soul is his own. Your future is not good for him… not good for humanity"
"I want my SON back!"
I saw something flash before my eyes. She had brown hair, a heart shaped face and green eyes. She looked worried. She looked scared, she was crying and she reached out to me. Déjà vu eclipsed me and I saw the scenario before but she has never reached for me. She left me to stay stuck in this monster. I didn't want to remember this again. I want her to go away. I don't want to feel her again. I don't want to remember that day. "STOOOOOOP!" I screamed afraid of whatever she was. She looked…looked like her. I never wanted to see her again. I never wanted to see him again. I was okay with her being dead. I don't want to be a part of her anymore!
Before her ghostly hand could touch me. I lurched forward and almost fell out of the cock pit. I could feel gravity shift multiple times and it was all I could take not to throw up. It felt like I was tumbling and then a great lurch upward. And then nothing. I was stuck in darkness with nothing. I scrambled to what was the door and tried to open it. I began to frantically claw at the metal. The voices were screaming and egging on my escape seemingly afraid of the darkness and the deep red LCL liquid. Afraid of staying in any longer less something else happens. Less she comes back again. I could feel hot tears running down my cheek. I heard a retching metal sound. A muffled voice from the outside.
The door open to light and I fell through onto the white tiled floor. I reached up to Misato.
"Oh my goodness Shinji! Are you okay?" her eyes held pure worry and relief.
I nodded trying to breath to my nose to stop the churning.
She actually had tears in her eyes.
I looked up and saw the monster. It was stuck in a certain pose that was eerie for a monster. Its arms were clasped around itself and its body was hunched over. It was like it was hugging itself or…or in a state of distress and was trying to keep itself together. What an insane creature…
"So can you explain what happened", Misato nursed a hot coffee as she worked the late shift. It was well past midnight.
"I don't really know. He did so well last time", Ritsuko combed through the papers wracking her brain about what happened.
"At the beginning his ratio was 47% which is normal but then it started to drastically climb and then it shot up", she raked a hand through her hair.
"His screams are what bothered me Ritsuko", Misato confided. "He sounded like he was fighting something. I mean you heard him. He kept screaming 'stay away' and 'I don't need you'. He sounded angry…but at what? What happens when sync ratios are that high anyway" Misato stared at the ceiling.
"Well it is uncommon", Ritsuko's eyes flickered to Misato. "Before when a sync ratio was that high someone was absorbed into that exact Eva".
"Someone was absorbed", Misato stared incredulously at Ritsuko with a slight wonder as to why she has never heard the information before.
"Yeah", Ritsuko gave a rueful smile "Commander Ikari's wife and Shinji's mother: Yui Ikari".
Well that is the end of that chapter. An Osprey is a bird of prey and Block G…well you will learn of that later. Spoiler Alert/Tip to settle confusion: Munroe was trying to judge Shinji's reaction to the information he gave because obviously he doesn't work in Block G of anything and I doubt there are Osprey's in Japan especially since 2nd impact wiped away a lot of animals. It is connected to the flashback (or dream?) that Shinji had while blacked out. That is why he chuckled.
If you can recall he stated that he worked in District-2 (I can see the fortress of Tokyo-2 being divided into districts by the police force so that is okay for him to say). Stay tuned because everything will begin to be tied together.