I don't own anything.

"Aleister…Could you accept that maybe your father did not love you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I…I know it is hard for a young boy to hear that his father may not love him nor care but it is necessary to understand before moving on…"

"I…I understand…actually I understood a long time ago I think…but deep down I hoped I suppose"

"Of course, what child wouldn't want their first protector's love"

A powerful jolt was felt by Shinji. He became consciously aware of his cotton filled head and a dull ache on his neck.

"Hey are you up Shinji", Cane spoke in a frazzled tone but his voice was muffled in Shinji's ears. The blurriness began to separate and in its place was darkness partially illuminated by a darkening sky.

"I was so worried. I thought I would have to call an ambulance or my dad", Cane said with a relieved sigh.

"What-What happened", Shinji finally spoke after a groan. He lifted himself off the hard floor and felt stiff. The last thing he remembered was walking into the empty house. "Well you walked in and just fainted. I thought it was probably heat stroke or something because it was really hot", Cane said.

Shinji looked around once more and noticed that there were few lamps in the room and the light was yellow in the dark thus giving the room an eerie vibe. "I didn't even feel an-" Shinji stopped with a jolt when his memory decided to come back.

"Oh wait Dr. Akagi", Shinji frantically looked around with wide eyes "What time is it Cane?"

"Well it is a little past six…who's Dr. Akagi?", Cane looked fully bewildered.

"I have to go…now", Shinji grabbed his bag and ran out of the house.

Cane tried to protest but Shinji was far outside where his voice would not have been heard.

Cane kept his confused and innocent façade until he knew Shinji would not turn around. His face lifted to a dirty smile and he closed the front door. He walked to the plain phone and dialed a number.

"Well phase 1 is in action. I will continue to make sure he is isolated while trying to keep him comfortable or at least interested in my presence. His guardian though in the dark is snoopy but his interest will keep him from following her order. He seems to be quite curious so the dummy memories are starting to wear off", He spoke into the phone and his cute boyish voice changed into something that was neither male nor female. "Hmm…well just keep Father in formed. We have to ensure that this time the brat won't get away again".

He hung up the phone and continued to sit in the yellowed darkness.

Shinji ran down the block towards Nerv but then realized the fruitlessness of his running. It was after six meaning that Dr. Akagi was already gone. He grabbed at his hair. Misato was already on him about not calling and stuff- even though he knew those robotic S2 agents probably watched him like a hawk.

He eventually slowed to a solemn walk and turned directions toward his home- which he hoped he would still be able to stay in after today.

He silently hoped that Misato was understanding when he talked to her. But of course something irked him about the whole incident earlier. Cane's home looked like…a show. The outside was opulent and wealthy looking but the inside was empty and bland. Almost as if no one really lived there and it was just a hoax. But why? The voices decided to just keep their moaning instead of being their normal vocal selves. He wanted to ask them but shouldn't they already know his questions?

He couldn't even formulate a question about Cane because the kid was so weird and his vibe's threw Shinji for a loop multiple times. He was supposed to be his friend and also his foe. He did not understand such a combination.

His musings stopped as he entered his apartment building and walked up the stairs.

"Hey kid", a gruff voice was heard down the dim hallway. The hairs on Shinji's back stood before the voice was registered. Leon came into the light with a smirk on his face. "Your guardian came by, she seemed pretty angry but hopefully I was able to help her calm down some", he stated with a chuckle at the end.

"Oh… Leon thanks", Shinji said with full gratitude and a slight nervousness. Despite his previous relationship with Leon he wasn't use to such blatant acts of kindness. Suddenly his light hearted mood stopped. He felt the urge to talk to Leon about the strange occurrences but of course it was quickly squashed when he remembered that he would have to tell him about hearing voices.

"Something on your mind kid", Leon stopped with a curious eye.

Shinji snapped out of his stupor and crushed to desire for companionship "No thanks…uh thanks again for helping me with Misato", Shinji quickly opened his door and ran inside.

He dialed Misato's phone number. She picked up immediately

"Hello",

"Misato! Hi how are you?"

"Oh Shinji I am fine. What about you", Shinji almost dropped the phone. No yelling or threats. She actually just sounded normal.

"W-well I am good I guess. Um…I-I'm sorry about today. I was with a friend and",

"Oh its fine Shinji especially if you were with a friend", she stated flippantly.

"Oh…really…well I just didn't want you and Dr. Akagi to be angry", he stated confused.

"No I'm not angry and you were with friends; that is okay. You need to make friends and Ritsuko shouldn't be angry either", she stated with a slight confusion at the end.

"Well…uh…okay. I will talk to you in the morning", he stated

"Well actually you can just call me once a day from now on okay. I'm not your mom or anything", Shinji was almost convinced this new Misato was an alien abductee. "Why the change of heart?" he had to know.

"I just think that maybe I was a little too harsh before and I had a talk with the officer so I feel much calmer", she stated calmly and slightly distant.

"Oh okay well I will talk to you later Misato",

"Yep have a good night sleep…Oh wait Shinji!"

"Yes"

"Due to impending attacks you have to start training tomorrow. I know you are not totally healed but Dr. Akagi believes that the last test was just a fluke and that you will be fine"

"…"

"Shinji did you hear that"

"Yes"

"Okay well good night"

He hung up the phone.

He gave a soft sigh. He wasn't ready to go back. He knew he had to go back eventually but he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to see her yet. But he had to.

On a good note he was happy about Misato's tone. He wondered if they simply rescheduled his appointment with Dr. Akagi. He was so happy that Misato didn't try to force him to stay with her. Her drinking habits, skimpy clothes and all around lack of understanding of personal space would just make his life miserable due to just the sheer amount of awkwardness.

"Me living with Misato? Now that is a bad joke" he spoke out loud with a small chuckle as he got ready for bed.

On the other end Misato hung up the phone with a small sigh. He seemed to take the phone call's seriously. She remembered the conversation the officer had with her earlier.

"I am so mad I don't know what to do. I tell him to call. He doesn't. Doesn't he understand that some people actually do care about him? Doesn't he understand that if anything happens to him we are all screwed?", Misato stomped up the stairs in an angry flurry.

She reached Shinji's door and pounded. Her anger increasing with each pound that did not have the reward of a door opening. "He should have been home now and Ritsuko did not call me stating that he did not come to her office", she thought.

"He's not home", she turned to a gruff voice to find the last person she wanted to see- Mr. Officer.

"And how do you know he's not at home", she asked with slit eyes already suspicious of him.

"I usually have a small break when school lets out so I thought I might make sure my new neighbor is protected". He stated.

"He doesn't need your protection", she said through partially clenched teeth. She was wary of him the first time she saw him. He seemed…wild and potentially dangerous even though he was a police officer. His eyes were just so strange.

"I know Nerv has their own private security sector but they can't really monitor what is happening inside buildings…only outside", He stated with a thoughtful lift of his head "That is why I am around", Misato countered "I am his guardian".

"While that is correct, Shinji doesn't live with you. Thus something could happen like he could get sick or accidently hurt himself and you wouldn't be around to help", he reasoned.

She glowered at him and his reason.

"I'm a cop so it is my duty to protect and serve. I also like to live so it makes sense to protect one of the people needed to ensure my survival", he reasoned again.

Misato let out a breath. He had a point but she still didn't trust him. "I understand your reasoning Officer but I am perfectly fine with taking care of Shinji".

"I'm not saying that you are deficient in your guardian duties", he flipped his hand around "But it would probably do him well to have a male in his life. It doesn't seem like his dad was around so a supportive male role model might be helpful. And Shinji is also in the age where he might not be so obedient at times in an attempt to find his individuality. He might feel more comfortable talking with me than you who seem to provide a more motherish figure", he ended partially waiting for her anger.

"I…", she began but then lowered her head in angered defeat. "I'll think about your words Officer", her bangs overcast her eyes but she could hear his parting greetings along with the door shutting. She leaned against the door and thought.

He had a strong point. A male figure would probably help Shinji and a less domineering attitude would also be helpful. Her own teenage years were not normal but for most children they do go through a rebellious type phase and a male figure might help steer the boy better. She reasoned the thoughts that Officer Munroe brought up. She was worried about this type of relationship back firing because while she could list the Officer as a possible acquaintance in the boy's life if the Officer proves distrustful it will be totally on her head.

But if Shinji really offered his trust to the man and was so easily disturbed by her demand that he not see the Officer then there is a chance her demand might not be heeded at all. Even if Shinji did move in with her the boy's track record for running away along with other possible psychological issues would increase the chance of Shinji meeting with the Officer. He was obviously influenced by the man, as any young boy would be with such a macho figure.

But he was influenced so quickly and stood up for the man so effortlessly that there seemed to be something off or maybe the boy was just too naïve…but at the same time Shinji didn't strike her as being necessarily naïve.

So this situation could very well be out of her control. She pinched her nose and her body yearned for a drink. Something did not seem totally right but she decided to give the kid a little more room.

She decided to go back home for the night and wait for the phone call.

Leon sat at his table with the moonlight shining through. A cup of cooling coffee sat in front of him. He looked to be deep in thought in the moon illuminated darkness of his apartment. He felt like he saved a life today. The life was Misato Katsuragi. The woman was the epitome of overbearing and she obviously had little trust in him. But what she did not understand and what practically no one at Nerv understood was that Shinji Ikari was being targeted. He was targeted ever since he was born due to his parent's involvement in the impact.

On the surface it seemed like a simple revenge plot but of course there are many puppets. It seemed like they wanted the boy just to make him suffer for his parent's crimes but actually they needed him. They needed every person who was deemed a Deadman. They had a certain disposition to fulfill the plan of the puppeteer. A plan that involvement an archaic, silent but powerful scientific art called alchemy. He had a loose understand of the power behind alchemy but he did know that many of the earth's inhabitants or the Lilum could not perform alchemy. They restricted knowledge about alchemy to what they only wanted their select chosen few to know. This would limit opposition.

But it also meant danger to anyone who would snoop anywhere close to their business. Since Shinji is Misato's business she would be in danger. If Misato really did keep a strong tally on the boy she would find things off with him and would of course become more curious. Soon she would probably find out something that she wasn't suppose to know and that would quickly end in her death. Or they would probably just kill her quickly before anything could occur.

Luckily the opposition is still in movement despite the memory setback by Shinji. The boy was in the main puppet of the organization; he was both in danger and in a checkmate position. The organization would have to intervene which is the dangerous part but they would never kill the boy; he was too important. The ball would actually start moving. There is no turning back. As soon as Shinji finally got all of his memory back the pieces can be set back up.

"Soon Shinji…no wait", he said with a small smile "Aleister, you will be ready to come back to us".

Ritsuko never really forgot the words of Shinji. His words stung her like his father wooed her. And the hinted at the relationship between her and Gendo…and she knew there could really not be any way he could know such information. They always kept things so professional and the only passion she could ever receive from Gendo was when they were making love. Or at least she believed it was love.

The sting in her heart told her that she would always be second best or even… third best.

Ritsuko knew from experience that Gendo slept but it was nights like these when she questioned such a conviction. The sub-commander had gone home but Gendo, like always, usually lingered in his office. His jacket was off showing his red turtle neck encased in tan suspenders. He swirled a glass of bourbon in his hand.

"Commander Ikari, I have some concerning news regarding your son", she knew he never liked to beat around the bush.

"Oh?", he turned around placing his drink on the desk.

"Yes. His psychological demeanor is drastically different from the initial hypothesis", she was almost shaking with anger. She severely disliked the child for some reason and the dislike almost paralleled with Rei…almost.

He sat in his usual posture "How so?"

"He seems to be more aggressive and less anti-social", she paused for her next question "He doesn't show the personality of a child raised by a more or less indifferent teacher. He seems like maybe there was some interference. I worry that maybe one of our opposers could have influenced him", she ended. She was slightly nervous about his response.

"That is a serious accusation Dr. Akagi. Is your evidence just based on personality traits?"

"No. During his check-up he…seemed to know more than what we expected him to know. He was also pointedly sly and secretive. He also has weird scars along his body. They are light but practically everywhere on his body. When I asked him about the scars he implied that there could be a possibility that his life might not have been as safe a suspected or that he didn't live with his teacher at all times".

"I see", Gendo stated flippantly as if he had such conviction in his analysis of his son that no other outside party could interfere "I will check with his teacher about such abnormalities".

Ritsuko was slightly taken back by his attitude especially when she found his son so disturbing.

"I see you have stopped testing", he stated as he turned his body to once again look out towards the Geofront.

The statement took her by surprise because of the quick change of subject "Yes sir, due to his injuries I-"

"Take him off such a leave. Rei performs fine with such injuries and so can he. He is a pilot and should not be cuddled because of some injuries", he stated with a tone of finality.

Ritsuko was about to speak but judged against it at the last minute "Yes sir". She waited for any other orders or maybe a possible drop from such a cold, business demeanor but found none. And thus she walked out of the large office.

Gendo sat at his desk looking out the window. He greatly disliked his fatherly duties and was more suited to being a Commander. He left his son to the teacher because he busy and he didn't have time for a needy child.

He didn't intentionally plan to use Shinji but he needed to make sure the boy would be a good back-up if for some reason Rei could not be used. He thought of Yui's brother but the man could provide too much love for the boy and also could turn the boy against him. Gendo didn't need a rebellious child; he needed a child who yearned for his affection so much that he would do anything. So an indifferent teacher was the best course of action.

Dr. Akagi's assertions did make him curious. He was certain that any opposition could not have been brave enough to actually attack the commander of Nerv's son. His son's attitude after the angel attack was also a surprise. He also knew that any opposition found was quickly snuffed out. But the scars did make him curious. At best his son's demeanor could simply be a ruse to hide a more devious character but as long as he piloted it would have little to do with the present course.

He gave a deep sigh and called a number that he hoped to never call again after sending the letter. The phone seemed to ring forever but he knew that the late night would not impede the progress of the conversation. A person picked up and with a gruff voice:

"Hello"

"Good morning Professor Kazaki", the strange greeting wasn't entirely wrong since technically it was early the next the day.

"Hmmm….I thought it was you Ikari. Need me to take the boy back?" the voice had a hard edge to it. Gendo could personally care less what the man thought of him as long as it didn't affect the boy's perception.

"No, no. I just have a few questions", he heard an annoyed sound at the other end. Gendo could care less about his other duties also.

"The boy has scars on his body", there was silence on the other end.

"Scars?"

"Yes, scars. I was told that he has multiple, old scars on his body. What information do you know of this?"

"Well, sometimes he got into fights when he was younger and he was a little adventurous at times leading to injuries but nothing too great"

"What was his demeanor like? Or his personality"

"His demeanor was…well he was a very quiet boy. Stayed in his room mostly and ran away at times"

"Was he ever at any time devious?"

"Well no more than any other boy his age under the circumstances", Gendo ignored the small jab.

"Would you be available for questioning later in person about such information?"

"Wait, why would I have to come in person?"

"Oh, just standard procedure"

"Humph. Sure, fine", there was a sense of disbelief in his tone that Gendo chose to ignore. It's not like the guy could run anywhere due to his involvement with Nerv. Gendo Ikari had much pride in his organization and his work.

So much pride that it overlapped into blind arrogance.

"Thank you for your time Professor", the phone hung up without a response.

Unknown to Gendo, as soon as the phone hung up Professor Kazaki began quickly packing.

Gendo hung up and was for now satisfied. He would simply order more observation for his son to create a more updated profile of his character.

Shinji continued to go to school like normal but as the voices quieted he felt more and more lost. He dreaded the next test but he remembered something from last time. When the Eva tried to connect a wall appeared and the others within him created a barrier. If he himself concentrated on strengthening the barrier then maybe he could ward off any further intrusion from the Eva.

School was a blur. His memories cropped up and replaced his reality at times. He focused on a little each day. As he sat in physics he couldn't help but remember how he was forced to learn such concepts at such a young age and how he would be severely punished for making a mistake. Though the school classes were boring it re-jogged some of his memories.

He learned many of the basic concepts and it wasn't too hard to manipulate the equations to understand certain applications. The same with Chemistry.

He had to memorize the physical make up of matter and how charges interact with each other and this led to an understanding of carbon. He remembered drawing so many little methyl groups attached to rings attached to carbonyl groups. Chemisty and physics was all they really taught him. With those two subjects he learned how to read, write and perform mathematical equations. At each stage of learning physics or chemistry any mathematical formulations or reading difficulties that arose were dealt with at that moment. There were no separate classes.

They had stopped his participation in the Carnival Corpse after testing his abilities in the lab. They deemed him "special" and moved him to block G. He learned Chemistry and Physics all day until he became angry at his tutor's treatment and killed the man with a burst of blades that cut the man to ribbons. After that he was isolated to his room with nothing but books. His memory brought up blurred images. Every once in a while he was taken out for more testing and training. They kept the name osprey because his the formation of blades from his blood. They always surprised people and could cut through thin steel. The pain was never-ending because it was the main factor in drawing his power.

His memories were a boring continuation of study, testing, training, eating and sleeping. That is until he started receiving letters about a prison break from an unknown guard.

He frequently ignored his peers and spent as little time as he possibly could. But one person just wouldn't leave him alone, Cane. Cane followed him everywhere and made no intention stop. They ate lunch together and sat in class together. Cane seemed to be blissfully unaware as he talked about class, his father or whatever else was on his mind. He seemed particularly sad about not being able to walk Shinji home that day.

Shinji walked into the Nerv locker room. He checked for his assigned plug suit and it was still white. I felt a twinge of hate for Dr. Akagi. It's not like it would have bankrupted Nerv to change the color of the suit. He had completely forgot about visiting Dr. Akagi.

He slipped it on and walked towards the simulation lab. As he walked in he noticed the observation window. Dr. Akagi, Misato and… the Commander were present. His anger rose at seeing that man again. The feelings probably would never go away.

A strange feeling did arise though. As his hate increased he felt more comfortable. This same feeling was something he felt in the prison and it gave him a weird sense of confidence because he simply stopped caring. He felt a strange urge to smile at the feeling. His present self and his past self had never felt so in-tune.

The plug was washed in red water and he began trying to concentrate. The voices murmured but were present. He knew they were listening and he silently asked for their help to build a fortress around his mind. He felt doubt as he began to accept them due to the fact that he could not remember them from his blurred past.

He felt a shift inside and there was a soft murmur of agreement.

In a few seconds he felt disconnected from the plug. It was a weird feeling but it felt comforting like it has happened even before he was in the Eva.

"Okay Shinji we are about to start"

"Sure"

A force immediately hit his subconscious. It pushed against his head trying to make him conform. It tried to push in cries and memories of a past that he did not care to hear about. Of a person he did not care to know about anymore. He did not relay any of his memories.

It pushed harder and he pushed harder. It was a strange fight for dominance. The monster could not win. It was his body and his mind. The living monster was not allowed to come fully inside. Only enough to work together.

And finally the pushing stopped. Ending at a stalemate.

This weird stance seemed to last forever. Shinji gradually became used to the pressure and adjusted himself accordingly. The pressure never let up but Shinji could manage.

"Good job, Shinji! Your Sync ratio is 94%! I told you this one would be better", he heard Misato's voice.

"Okay Shinji we are done", Dr. Akagi's voice followed shortly after.

The monster was finally forced to sleep. The pressure disappeared instantly. The immediately removal jolted Shinji and gave him a small headache.

He smiled. Finally a battle that he could win and had control over.

Unfortunately he had to keep up with the training every day to make up for the "lost time" he spent recovering according to Misato. That order came directly from the Commander. The hate for the man somehow grew a little more.

He continued school like usual but of course the Cane problem was uncomfortable.

Shinji could not really explain his feelings about Cane. He felt cautious but yet the presence was familiar. He felt endangered but his curiosity and the feelings that arose from the others kept him in his place.

And so he barely listened to Cane's words and Cane never asked any more strange questions. And all the while the students began to alienate both. The feeling of loneliness caused a yearning for more companionship from Shinji. No matter how insipid his peers were he wondered what it would be like if he did make friends like a normal kid.

But yet he did nothing about it because the loneliness created a comforting familiarity and he needed something comforting at a time when he barely knew who he was. His memories and past life botched and sewed creating his now dissociative identity.

But this is how the weeks went. Cane stuck to Shinji like glue and Shinji trying to remember another world through blackened memories. Every day Shinji spent hours in Nerv training. He fought against the pressure and the demon relinquished control over to him. He really believed the monster didn't really like him but kept commanding for some reason.

The thing was definitely alive due to such psychological pressure. It was not simply a robot. It had some type of motivation to keep Shinji in control. Shinji was always agitated when entering the Eva. He never felt safe…especially since his own mother was around.

The monotonous days of school and Nerv were broken when the class jock decided to follow Cane and Shinji to lunch on the roof.

"Hey new kid", both boys turned around.

"Not you Midori, Ikari I'm talking to you", Shinji rolled his eyes and turned. He was always in an agitated state. He picked it up in the prison and he felt most comfortable being seconds away from punching someone.

"I have heard from some special intel that you are the new Eva pilot, ya know", his arms were folded and his head lifted in an attempt to look buff.

"What if I am"

"Well I don't take kindly to people like you. Stomping around like you're in a big toy and not caring what happens to others"

"What? I have no idea what you are talking about", the jock's face reddened.

"I'll spell it out for you. Your big toy almost killed my sister. You are directly responsible", he said like a bull ready to charge.

"How the hell was I suppose to know I hurt your sister?! It's not like I was trying to aim for her. I WAS trying to defend human-", Shinji immediately cut off his sentence as a fist rushed towards his face.

"Hey what are you doing?" Cane's frantic voice echoed. "Aw come on Midori it's nothing personal", Freckles replied.

Freckle's smug look disappeared as Shinji's knee connected to Toji's stomach. The boy lifted into the air in classic motion to Newton's laws. Shinji felt a surge of glee and he had to smile. The feeling of beating someone gave him the power he remembered. The way the guards, scientist whoever was around that did not have the power to stop him held such a huge amount of fear. The same fear he had when powerless was transferred to them and that gave him such satisfaction.

A swift fist connected to Toji's cheek. Shinji did not want his toy to stop working so soon so the hit was not enough to knock him out. Toji fell to the ground in a huff and immediately cradled his middle section. His breathing was quite heavy.

Shinji looked down with great satisfaction and could not erase the smile from his face.

"Ha, I guess your friend's not as strong as he thought he was", Cane's voice could be heard in the background.

Shinji could think of nothing more than causing the boy on the ground more pain for even attempting to cause him some. But a voice interrupted him.

"Shinji, we are needed at Nerv", a soft eerie voice spoke. Shinji's head whipped around towards the intruder. Ayanami gave a surprised look and spoke "I will meet you at headquarters".

He returned to normal and took a quick glance at Toji. Freckles was leaning over him with a look of worry. Cane looked particularly proud of the scene as he looked at the two.

Shinji's glee and anger dissipated slightly as he looked at the two boys. Shinji had an odd feeling of guilt. Something entirely foreign.

He could not dwell on it for too long because the sirens began to blare.

Shinji turned and ran down the stairs towards Nerv. He distinctly heard "Come on Toji, we have to get to a shelter" and "I'll see you later Shinji" from Cane.

Shinji thought the comment sounded strange.

Well this will be the last Chapter with Shinji not remembering his memories. The next chapter will include the alchemical aspect of things. Cane's real form will be revealed and also some more info on the secret organization will be revealed. So if you waited this long to see when FMA would come in well you are about to get it full on.

Thank you all of my readers and reviewers. Your comments and support are greatly appreciated. And please continue with reviews.