Chapter Eighteen

Bella

I stayed away from Alice the next day, I couldn't bear the thought of her coming up with any more tricks she wanted me to perform. Jake was waiting by my truck at the end of the day and as I walked over he pushed himself off and came over to give me a hug.

"Glad you rang Bells. I've missed you".

Over his shoulder I saw Edward glaring at me, Great! I thought although it didn't really bother me. In Jake's arms I felt nothing, no warmth, no fast heart beat, and the hole in my chest ached just as much as ever. We drove to Port Angeles and went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. I ate but I didn't enjoy it, afterwards I couldn't even remember what I'd ordered. He took my hand as we walked to the cinema and it contrasted strongly with the last time I walked hand in hand. That time it was with Jasper and the memory of his cold hand in mine played over and over in my head.

We sat through the film, which although I'd wanted to see, I had no idea of when it was over. Jake had put his arm around me in the cinema and in the truck on the way home he pulled me close. It all felt so wrong, Jake was too hot, too close, he was the wrong person. When we got back he came in and spoke to Charlie who resembled the Cheshire Cat, and stole a kiss before leaving. I ran up to the bathroom and scrubbed my hands and face, especially my lips trying to get the feel of Jake from my body. Then I went to bed taking my phone with me but feeling too guilty to ring Jasper despite being desperate to hear his voice. As I lay in the darkness, tears falling onto my pillow, I felt the phone vibrate. I picked it up and read the message,

"If you feel how I think you do, ring him. Alice x

I wiped the sweat from my hands and pressed his number. It was answered immediately as if he'd been waiting phone in hand.

"Hello Bella, I thought you weren't going to ring"

"Sorry I'm late"

"You've been crying"

"Yes. I miss you so much"

"But that's not why you've been crying"

"Yes it is actually"

"Tell me" he whispered and I found myself pouring my heart out to him.

I told him about my conversation with Alice and what she'd asked me to do. When I finished it was silent for a while then I heard his voice.

"Do you want me to come back?"

"YES" I was sure of that.

"Talk to Alice then ring me"

"I will"

The same ending was there but who was saying it?

I grabbed Alice first thing the next morning and dragged her out to the car park.

"We're missing classes again this morning. I want to hear the rest of your story Alice and it better be good."

She drove to the same clearing and parked up.

"How do you feel Bella?"

"Like shit Alice"

She smiled and nodded, "Did you speak to him last night?"

I nodded and she continued,

"How did you feel going out with Jake?"

"Miserable. I spent the whole time comparing him with Jasper" then it struck me. "That's exactly what you expected isn't it Alice?"

"Yes Bella, and whose side did you come down on?"

I glared, "Does the fact I cried nearly all night tell you something Alice"

"Yes Bella it does. Do you still have that pain in your chest?"

I nodded, "Only now thanks to your little fiasco, it hurts even worse"

"Good. That tells me everything I needed to know. Bella you are in love with Jasper, but more than that, he's your mate"

"Alice if you don't start speaking in a language I can understand I'm going to poke your eyes out"

She laughed her silvery laugh and continued,

"I saw your future and the Major's, they were the same. You two are meant for each other. You can't love anyone else now you've met him. No one else will ever compare with him. You need him like air and water. Life without him doesn't mean anything and every day you are apart is agony, getting worse and worse. You feel if you don't see him soon your heart will shatter, your lungs stop taking in air. Stop me if I'm wrong" she said looking at me.

"In our world that's the feeling you get when you've found your true mate, your other half. The one that makes you complete, that makes life mean something. Its how you feel and it's how he feels too. He's suffering as much as you and he's got no one to explain it all to him. I bet he's told you that he doesn't understand what he's feeling"

I nodded.

"I knew it. What did he say to you last night?"

"I told him what you'd told me and your crazy condition for telling me the rest."

"So he knows you went out with Jake, what did he say?"

I glared at her, "What do you think?"

"I don't know Bella enlighten me"

I sighed, "He asked me to ring him after I spoke to you today. He wanted to know if I wanted him to come back and I said yes".

"Good, because you wont survive without him and he won't without you. I know you told Charlie you'd finish school but you need to be together and he can't stay here. He needs to be away from the Cullens and Charlie. You have to go with him and start a life together Bella. If you want to stay he will, but it will be a disaster."

"You've seen this?"

"Yes."

"I have to make a phone call Alice. I got out of the car and walked into the trees, I guess Alice could still hear me but I didn't care.

"Hello Bella. Have you spoken to Alice?"

"Yes, I'm with her now. I want you to come and get me."

"Are you sure Bella? Charlie wont be happy."

"I don't care Jasper. I know what I want, what I need. I need you, I love you Jasper. No, I more than love you."

There was silence and I thought I'd got it all wrong. The pain in my chest flared up and I doubled over with a gasp. He must have heard me because I heard worry in his voice

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I couldn't speak, tears were falling again. I'd made a complete fool of myself and the phone fell to the ground as I hugged myself.

"Bella. Can you hear me?"

A hand picked the phone up and I heard Alice's voice,

"Its Alice Cullen, Major. I think Bella's having a panic attack. She thinks she's made a complete idiot of herself."

"Why?"

"Well this is a stab in the dark but I think you took too long to answer."

"Put the phone to her ear Alice"

I felt the cold plastic against my ear.

"Bella I hope you can hear me darlin', I'll be there tomorrow"

I didn't hear anything else, I was too busy throwing up in relief.