Liz dropped her hand from her mouth and narrowed her eyebrows in anger. "What the hell are you doing here, Red?" Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating. She didn't know how he had found her, but she'd slipped up somewhere and now he was here. In her house. Sitting on her couch looking like he belonged there.

He looked good. So damn good. She missed him so much, and hell did she want to just walk over to him and kiss him until he she couldn't breathe any longer. Red stood up and spread his hands out in surrender. "I didn't come to fight with you, Lizzie, but I think you know that you owe me an explanation." He gestured towards her pregnant belly with one of his hands.

She swallowed and looked away from him. "I don't owe you anything, Red."

He took a step towards her, but she backed away. "Don't...just don't. Please leave. I'm asking you to just leave me be. I've moved on, and I don't want to do this now, or ever."

Red clenched his jaw in anger, then took a deep breath and closed his eyes momentarily. "Did you ever plan on telling me that you were pregnant with my child?" He said quietly, then sat down heavily on the couch and continued, "How could you have just walked away when you knew, you knew, that I would want to be afforded the chance to raise the child?"

"A boy," she said so quietly that he hadn't been sure he heard right.

"Pardon?" He looked at her expectantly.

She stared at something over his shoulder as she said, "I'm having a boy."

Red turned around to see Dembe still sitting on the piano bench looking at Liz with an emotion he couldn't decipher on his face. "Dembe, I need to speak to Lizzie alone please."

Dembe nodded then stood up and walked out of the apartment, squeezing Liz's shoulder lightly on his way out; Red didn't miss how she flinched at the contact.

As soon as the door shut, Red stood up and walked towards her. She held up both hands and shook her head. "Red, please. Please don't make this harder than it already is." Tears were pooling in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away with her hand, but she didn't take her eyes off of him.

He only stood a few feet away from her, but it may as well have been a few miles. She didn't want to talk or work things out, that much was obvious; that hurt the most out of everything.

He tilted his head and studied her closely. She looked exhausted. She had lost weight despite her slightly protruding belly. He wondered how she slept, and wished he could be privy to that information. "A boy?" He tried not to show how much that pleased him. A boy to carry on his bloodline, that's what he had always secretly wanted.

She nodded slightly, but didn't say anything more. He took a step closer and was pleased that she didn't step back. That was progress. "Lizzie, I need some answers. I need to know why you left without telling me. That's the least you can do."

She sighed and looked him straight in the eye for the first time since she'd walked in her house. "You're right. I do. Sit down, please." She gestured with her hand at the couch behind him.

He turned and sat down in the middle of the couch, then waited to see if she would sit next to him. She chose to stand instead as she began to tell him why she left.

OOOOOO

Liz took a deep breath and began to pace in front of him. "After that night, I felt like we were in a bad place. I didn't feel like we could talk about it because I saw that damn regret in your face and it hurt. Badly." She paused and wiped a stray tear off of her cheek. The only reaction from him was a slight tic under his eye as she continued, "After a while we finally began to be a little more comfortable around each other and things were getting better. Then I noticed the subtle changes in my body, and realized that I was probably pregnant. I panicked."

She couldn't hold the tears back this time and gave up trying to wipe them away. The tic in his eye turned to furrowed brows as she carried on with her explanation. "All I could think about was that I don't want my child to be around your kind of lifestyle. It's incredibly dangerous, and it's not the kind of life I want for me or him. So I left. I felt like hurting you like you hurt me," she finally got herself under control and brought her shirt up to wipe the tears away from her face. Then she subconsciously rubbed her belly with one of her hands. He wondered if the baby was moving, and wished that he could put his hand there and find out. He had listened quietly to her explanation, making sure to let her explain herself without interruption. He understood where she was coming from, and honestly didn't have an argument against it. She was right. His lifestyle didn't afford him those kinds of luxuries. He understood that when he had set out to find out what happened to his family. He hadn't planned on falling in love and getting his love pregnant, but couldn't take anything back now, and wouldn't even if he had the chance.

She interrupted his thoughts with a cough of irritation; her eyes were puffy and red. "So you don't have anything to say to that? Why even come here then?"

He sat up and unbuttoned the buttons on his cuffs, then began to roll us his shirtsleeves as he began to speak. "Lizzie, everything you said is true. I don't have an argument against anything you said, but may I remind you that you already knew all that when you chose to sleep with me? You knew my lifestyle was and is dangerous." He stood up and approached her slowly. She stood her ground stubbornly.

He stopped when he was only a foot from her, then rose his eyebrows in question, waiting for her to answer him.

She swallowed visibly and lowered her eyes to stare at his tie. "Well I didn't expect to see the regret on your face ten seconds after we had the best sex of my life!" She hurled at him angrily, finally looking at him with steely eyes.

She saw his body sway slightly, but his calm expression didn't change. "Ah, so the truth finally comes out. Why didn't you just say that in the first place, sweetheart."

She slapped him. Hard.

"Don't call me that," she said through clenched teeth as she lowered her hand. He took two steps forward until they were inches apart, then grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest.

She pulled away and retreated again until her back hit the far wall, effectively stopping her from moving further away. He approached her with measured steps, never losing his calm demeanor.

She knew she should be scared, but she wasn't. She knew he wouldn't hurt her; at least not physically.

"What do you want, Red?" She spat as he stopped just inches from her.

He pursed his lips and leaned close to her ear. "You. Just you." His warm breath sent shivers down her spine.

She sucked in a breath and finally put her hands on his chest to push him away from her gently, then shook her head. "No. I already told you why we can't happen, and that's not even taking into account what happened after we had sex."

He sighed. "Lizzie, you're correct. I did regret it at first, only because I knew what kind of danger I was putting you in by entering into a relationship with you. I love you too much to mix you up with the despicable people I deal with on a daily basis, but yet I couldn't help myself; and look where we are now. I quickly realized my mistake, but you avoided being alone with me if at all possible, so I took that as a sign to back off. You didn't want to talk about it." He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, then waited for her to respond.

She stalked forward angrily and poked a finger in his chest. "Don't you dare blame this on me, Reddington." Her shoulders were heaving with anger.

He wrapped his hand around her entire hand and pulled her finger out of his chest. "I take partial blame, too, but you're the one that left. Don't ever forget that." Anger finally began to seep into his voice as he kept hold of her hand. She tried to pull it away, but he didn't allow her to.

"Let. Me. Go." She tried to pull away again, but in one swift motion he pulled her into a hug and trapped her hands between their bodies.

"I want to be part of our son's life, Lizzie. Are you going to deny me that?" He said quietly. She struggled against him for a moment, but finally gave up and leaned into his body. She didn't want to fight him anymore.

"I can't let you be near me, Red. I'm sorry," she spoke into the junction of his shoulder and neck; he could feel her warm breath against his skin.

"Lizzie..."

She shook her head against his neck. "No. The answer is no. I want you to leave now."

He nuzzled his nose in her hair and kissed the shell of her ear; she didn't resist. He wasn't sure he would ever be this close to her again, and that hurt. A lot. A few more pieces of the proverbial cracked floor fell away. There weren't many more left to stand on.

They stood there for a few more minutes until she pulled away from him completely and folded her arms across her chest. A defensive posture if he ever saw one. "Please, Red, don't make this harder than it already is." She sounded softer, as if she was second guessing her earlier declarations.

He turned and walked to the couch, then picked up his sunglasses and fedora from the couch and turned back to look at her. She hadn't moved, but she looked heartbroken instead of angry now. He wished he could make the pain go away, but she wouldn't welcome his comfort. "That man you went out with today..do you think you could love him eventually?"

She didn't even question how he knew about her date. She sighed. "I don't know, possibly. He's a good man, and seems to truly care about me."

He slipped his sunglasses on. "I do too, Lizzie. Don't ever forget that. I love you, and all I want to do is protect you and our son." He hesitated and began to fidget with his fedora. "I'm planning on remaining in Berlin for the foreseeable future. I want to see you again. Will you at least consider allowing me to?"

She opened her mouth to refuse right away, but the look on his face coupled with her guilt for leaving him without any explanation caused her to reconsider. She knew she had refused to be around him earlier, but the longer she was in his presence, the less resistant she was to the idea. She missed him, but she wanted to see where things went with Thomas, too. Her thoughts were just a jumbled mess of confusion. She didn't know what she wanted.

"Maybe, Red. Give it a few weeks, huh?"

He slipped his fedora on and tilted it down so his face was partially hidden, but she could still see her hand mark on his cheek, which made her cringe; she shouldn't have hit him. "That's all I can ask." He walked towards the door, but stopped and looked back at her once more. "Be careful, Lizzie. You need to take better care of yourself, you're too skinny."

She opened her mouth to argue with him, but just closed it and nodded instead. She knew it, she just hated to admit it to herself.

He nodded in satisfaction and tried to smile at her once more before walking out the door without another word.

As soon as the door shut, Liz's legs gave out and she found herself kneeling on the floor with tears running down her face. Things had been better than good only a few hours ago. And now? Now things were screwed up again. She should have just kicked Red out for good, but as much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't. It just wasn't possible for her. She had tried many times over the last couple of years, oh lord had she tried, but she always ended up going back to him.

She had a feeling the same thing was eventually going to happen again.

OOOOOO

Red walked out the door with a small smile on his face. She hadn't told him to leave for good. She said that he could see her again. That was more than he could have asked for.

Things were definitely looking up.

AN: I know more angst. Angst, angst, angst. I promise this fic will eventually have a happy ending, we just have to go through the sad stuff first. Thank you for the continued support for this fic, and I would love to hear what you think. Thanks for reading. :)

P.S. Special thanks to FrostyFingers once again..girl..you're a lifesaver. :)