The next two-almost three, weeks were hell for Liz. She kept expecting to see Red around the next corner, or standing in line at the little bakery she frequented for hot chocolate and pastries, or sitting on a bench watching her as she walked along the sidewalk; she never did though. She always found herself looking for him where ever she went. She couldn't seem to stop herself; she wondered if the mind games were Red's intentions all along, but he had seemed sincere, and she had told him a few weeks. Maybe he was just honoring her wishes.
She had a feeling he was actually watching her, but from afar. She'd always had a acute awareness of him while they had worked together. She knew when he was in the room, and when he was near her. It was her "Redar" as she liked to call it privately in her head; and her Redar had been going crazy the past couple of weeks.
She was twenty-one..almost twenty-two weeks along now, and the baby was beginning to make himself known more and more. Sometimes she would lie awake in the middle of the night and put her hand on her belly and feel him move around restlessly. She always wished Red, not Thomas, was there with her, with his head on her belly and talking to their son as he rubbed soothing circles on her bare skin. It was a fantasy she often played out in her mind. She knew she shouldn't, it made things even more painful because that fantasy could never come to fruition
She still felt good, and chalked that up to exercising and eating well. She had odd cravings sometimes that would hit her randomly. They too were usually in the middle of the night, and she didn't have him there to get them for her. So it was either get them herself, or ignore the craving; she always ignored it. She then would toss and turn the rest of the night. She found herself on more than one occasion reaching for her phone to call Red, but then she would remember that he hadn't given her his number. Next time she saw him she was going to get his number; his distance was slowly driving her insane. Since she'd last been in his arms for only a few moments, she wanted more. It was as if she was addicted to him; she had had that little taste, and now her addiction was back stronger than ever.
He was making it very difficult for her to stick to her guns in regards to their situation, and she hadn't even seen him for almost three weeks.
She was so screwed.
OOOOOO
Red hid his face behind a newspaper, then moved it down so that just his eyes were visible as he watched Liz walk into Bäckerei Thürmann, then came out a few minutes later with a hot cup in one hand and a muffin in the other. She was dressed in black slacks and a purple overcoat, and her hair was up in a messy bun; Her coat was buttoned in a way that made her pregnant belly quite obvious to anyone that was looking. He couldn't help but smile and feel a little proud that his child was growing inside of her; it also made him feel insanely protective of her, and even though it had been almost three weeks since he'd last talked to her, he still didn't feel like it was time to approach her. He knew she sensed he was near, judging by how she seemed to glance around all the time, but she had yet to spot him and he hoped to keep it that way.
He'd also watched as she had gone on three more dates with her other man. He hated thinking of him as "her man", but he didn't know his name; he would need to find out. Luckily it seemed like she had cooled off on him somewhat. He hadn't seen any other kisses or hugs; mostly just hand holding, and even that made him extremely jealous.
He sat far enough down the street that she didn't see him as she sat down gingerly on a bench outside the bakery and began to tear small pieces off of her muffin and put them in her mouth; he wondered if her lower back was bothering her, and wished he could rub the aches and pains away. She seemed distracted today..more on edge. She also seemed to be waiting for someone. He didn't know if he could stand to watch her cuddle up to her "other man" again; the last time he'd almost approached her as they'd walked down the street. Only Dembe's hand on his shoulder stopped him; it was both a good and bad thing that Dembe was off doing his own thing that morning.
He put his newspaper down and just watched her; losing all pretense that he was reading the paper. She kept staring off into the distance, and didn't seem to notice when a rather large, grizzled man sat down next to her on the bench. He turned to her and said something, but she didn't seem to hear; he wished he could hear what the man said. When Liz didn't react, he touched her shoulder and said something again. She startled, then looked over and couldn't mask the look of fear on her face. She moved over a little and said something, but the man just scooted closer and grabbed her free hand.
Red had seen enough. He was done with keeping his distance. He stood up quickly and crossed the street where he was. Luckily the traffic was light that morning, so he crossed it easily. He wasn't too far away from them when he saw her stand up and try to walk away. The man stood up with her and tried to slip an arm around her shoulders.
Red quickened his pace and finally reached her side and slid his arm around her waist protectively, nestling it right above her tailbone "Honey, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." He kissed her cheek lingeringly, then looked up at the large man with questioning eyes; feigning ignorance. The man looked a little fearful, and glanced around nervously. He was obviously someone who targeted women he thought were alone.
Liz had yet to say anything, and only looked at him with something akin to surprise and a little shock in her eyes. "Is there a problem here, sweetheart?" He looked back at her and squeezed her hip softly so she would get the hint to speak up.
She cleared her throat and shook her head. "No, no problem," she said hoarsely.
Red chewed on the inside of his cheek and looked back at the man through his amber sunglasses. "If you'll excuse us then." The man nodded and almost ran the opposite direction. Red smirked, then looked at Liz. "What did he say to you?"
Her breathing seemed too fast for the situation, and he was a little worried about her; especially since she didn't answer. "Lizzie."
She blinked slowly and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I'm just surprised to see you is all. It's almost been three weeks." She tried to move away from him, but he dug his fingers in her hip so she couldn't.
"You told me a few weeks, so I gave you a few weeks. Now, what did that man say to you?"
She grabbed his fingers and pried them off her hip and took a step back. "It doesn't matter. Thank you for coming to my rescue though, I wasn't sure what to do besides run away, and he probably would have followed me."
"Yes, you seem to be good at doing that," he said bitterly, then winced soon after; he didn't regret saying it, because needed to hear it.
She visibly flinched and grimaced. "I guess I deserved that." She took another step back and glanced behind her. "Look, I need to go." She turned to walk away, but Red grabbed hold of her arm and turned her around gently.
"Can I come over sometime this week? I have some more things I'd like to discuss with you." She swallowed, and he could see her internal debate as if she was speaking out loud. She clearly didn't want to see any more of him, but yet she couldn't seem to help herself when she sighed and gave a small nod. "I need your phone number so I can text you when a good time will be. I don't want you to just show up out of the blue." She pulled her cell phone out and turned it on.
He tilted his head and studied her closer. "Why? So I won't run into your boyfriend? Is that what you're worried about?"
She just looked at him with raised brows. "What's your number?"
Red sighed and recited the number to her. As soon as she was done, she put her phone back in her pocket, then seemed to hesitate as if she was debating whether or not to say something.
"Out with it, Lizzie." He rubbed his face tiredly, careful to avoid smearing his sunglasses.
She reached out and touched his forearm; he could barely feel it through the layers he wore. "Thank you for helping me with that man." She tried to smile, then quickly turned around and walked away without another word or look in his direction.
He watched her go and tried to quell the urge to run after her and just make her see that he wanted to be with her. He was tired of watching her date another man when she knew he was in town, knew he wanted to make things right with her again, knew he wanted to raise their child together.
She wasn't making it easy on him. Patience had never been a particularly strong attribute of his.
OOOOOO
Liz hurried down the sidewalk, trying to hold the tears back until she reached her apartment. The last person she had expected to see was him. She hadn't been prepared for the feelings he evoked in her with just a small touch, and the kiss to her cheek; it had been all she could do not to throw herself in her arms and beg him to take her back. She put her hand on her cheek and could almost feel the warmth of his lips lingering there, or at least imagined that she could.
She'd been doing her best to forget, or mostly forget, about Red. She'd gone out on a few dates with Thomas and had a lot of fun. He was attentive and caring, and that's all she ever really wanted; but the man couldn't hold a candle to Raymond Reddington. She really needed to stop leading Thomas on, it wasn't fair to him. She knew he could sense something was holding her back, but he never asked, and she wasn't inclined to tell him that the man she was in love with was back and wanted to help raise their baby; and be together with her. Even if she never repaired her relationship with Red, Thomas didn't deserve what she was doing to him. She was damaged goods; emotionally and physically.
As she neared her apartment she made a decision. She was going to break things off with Thomas. She knew he wouldn't take it well, but it had to be done. She just couldn't continue to see him in good conscious while in love with another man.
She walked in her apartment and shed her coat and shoes, then walked in her bedroom and laid down on the bed; she was suddenly exhausted even though it was only noon. She had a date with Thomas later that night, and she needed to be well rested for what was to come. She had a feeling that fireworks were going to fly.
OOOOOO
Liz sat against the end of the couch and looked at Thomas nervously. He seemed to sense something was wrong because he wasn't his usual cheerful self. She took a drink of her water and winced when she could feel his eyes boring in to her. "Melinda. What is going on?"
She brought her cup down and set it on the coffee table, then looked at him with sad eyes. "I can't see you anymore, Thomas. I'm sorry."
His eyes widened in surprise and he leaned towards her. "Why? Was it something I did?"
She shook her head sadly and tried not to look in his hurt blue eyes. "No, Thomas. I have issues, and it's not fair for me to lead you on."
He sat back and sighed. "It is another man, is it not?" He was more perceptive than she gave him credit for. She felt worse than dirt at the moment.
"Look, Thomas. It's really complicated. The father of my baby.." she gestured to her stomach with her hand, "..is back in town and wants to help raise him. I can't send him away, and he won't leave anyway, so I'm stuck right now."
He moved over a cushion and took her hand in his. "I will wait for you, Melinda. I do not want to lose you." He looked so heartbroken that she had to look away.
"No, you need to move on, I'm not worth the trouble." She squeezed his hand, but he refused to look at her. She could see a glimmer of tears in his eyes
He abruptly stood up and looked down at her angrily. "Do not ever say that, you are worth it. This is not over, Melinda, I will fight for you, but I will leave you now. See you soon." He picked his coat up from the back of the couch and left her apartment with a slam of the door. She winced at the sound; the quietness of her apartment was deafening.
She sat there motionless for countless minutes until she suddenly picked up her phone from the coffee table and dialed his number without further thought. He picked up on the second ring. "Lizzie." He sounded distant and emotionless.
She tried to hold back the sob that threatened to break out and said in a cracked voice, "I need you, Red."
"I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up without saying anything further, but it took Liz another minute before she could bring herself to drop the phone.
She felt worse than ever. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to reach out to Red like that. She didn't want to be with him like that. She was trying to cut him out of her life, but was doing a bad job of it. She shouldn't have called him, but couldn't help the flutter of anticipation of seeing him again.
He was her drug.
AN: Things are getting a little better between him. At least she called and told him that she needed him. Thanks for all the reviews/favorites/follows..I truly do appreciate them. Please let me know what you think! Have a great day. :)
Special thanks to FrostyFingers again for her help with everything German. You seriously make this fic so much better.