Disclaimer: If I said i owned this stuff, I'd go to Azkaban.
A/N: I'm thinking of changing my name into TheImmortalWhiteWolf. What do you think? Also, this is a random thought; I wonder if any ones tried to do a story where the characters read about how we think they'd react to a Very Potter Musical.
Once Harry figured out how to work the TV, the next scene started up, so he had to run to his sit.
(Everybody sits down in their respective areas)
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes, welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts! And a very special welcome back to my favourite student, Mr harry Potter (RON: Woo!).
Ron was doing the same thing as the Ron on screen. "Ron," Hermione yelled,"be quiet. We don't need another noise complaint from the neighbors!' Everyone turned to look at her. "What?"
"How did you get the first one?" Draco asked.
"I had something to do with it," Ginny said. Everyone looked at the two for an explanation. "We were, um, having an obsession day."
Harry had a look of understanding on his face, while everyone looked confused, so he explained,"An obsession day is a day where you and a friend find everything you obsess over and read or watch it. They're usually very loud." (AN: those are real. Me and my friends have them a lot.) Everyone just nodded and chuckled.
He defeated Voldemort when he was just a baby, and he's even got that little lightning scar on his forehead to prove it.
Harry started to try and flatten his hair over his scar. Ginny swatted his hand away and did it for him. But her way involved a pink, little bow.
And also another special welcome to the newest addition of Griffindor! Mr Ginny
"Hey!" Ginny yelled at Dumbledore.
Dumbledore chuckle and said,"In my character's defence, you have six older brothers. It is weird seeing a female Weasley." Ginny just huffed.
- Excuse Me, Ms Ginny Weasley.
GINNY: Yeah, I'm a girl...
"Yeah, I am!"
But, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the uhh, Sorting hat?
"That is a good point," Harry said," I like the sorting hat. Where is he?"
"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," Hermione calmed her friend. Over a hat. Yep, Harry was offically going insane.
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, well a funny thing happened to the sorting hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of Magical enchanted clothing. So he and the scarf of sexual preference,
Everyone looked at Dumbledore like he was Santa Claus. "I want one," everyone yelled.
"Yeah," Cho said,"Harry'd be Red-heads only-"
"And," Harry cut in," Hermione would be waiting 'till marriage-"
"And," Hermione said," Ron would be undecided on gender!"
Everyone laughed. Who knew Hermione could be so funny? Sirusly, who knew?
wont be back 'till next year. So basically, I've been putting anybody who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor,
The Gryffindors whooped and hollered. They were the good guys! Except for Wormtail.
anybody who looks like a bad guy in Slytherin
"Draco isn't a bad guy!" Hermione cried. Realizing she said that aloud, she started turning a nice maroon color.
"Thanks," Draco smile, causing her to blush even more. Ginny was laughing at her friend. She had no idea how to handle a crush. Like she did!
and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want I really don't care.
Che huffed. At least Dumbledore wasn't really like that.
CEDRIC: Hufflepuffs, are particularly good finders!
"They are?" Dumbledore asked. And here I was thinking he knew everything!
DUMBLEDORE: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?
Everyone was laughing their heads off. But they knew they should never tell Tonks. One of two things would happen. One, they'd be killed. Two, they would learn the entire history of Hufflepuff house. No one knew which was worse.
Anyway, it is now time for me to introduce to you my very good friend and our very own potions professor, Mr. Severus Snape.
Harry and Ron smirked. They couldn't wait to see Snape. It would be totally awesome.
RON: Ugh man, I hope they fire that guy!
Snape glared at the red head. He obviously didn't know a good teacher when he saw one.
GINNY: Why? Whats wrong with Professor Snape?
"Thank you, Miss Weasley," Snape said. Yeah, Snape said thanks. Wow.
RON: Uh, Nothing he's just, uh, evil! (Enter Snape)
Everyone was trying not to laugh. The guy on screen had a very obvious wig on, and had a frown that you just can't explain. But then, Hermione lost it. She had decided to take a sip of butter beer before Snape went on stage. Now, she had it in her mouth, afraid if she swallowed, it would somehow make her laugh. Then, she did an accidental spit take, and started laughing uncontrollably. Then, everyone laughed. And laughed. And laughed. It took five minutes for everyone to calm done.
HARRY: Oh, come he's really not that bad.
That time, Snape refused to say thanks. After all, it was just a musical.
SNAPE: Harry Potter! (dragging out each word) Detention!
Everyone chuckled.
HARRY: What?
SNAPE: For talking out of turn!
Seems like something he'd do, Harry thought.
Now before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very very first, Pop-Quiz. (students groan except hermione) Can anybody tell me what a portkey is? Oh Yes Miss Granger?
"A portkey is a magically enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones that touch it to anywhere in the globe decided upon by the enchanter," Hermione said, "Sorry, it's a habit." Everyone chuckled at their beloved bookworm.
HERMIONE:.A portkey is a magicaly enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones that touch it to anywhere in the globe decided upon by the enchanter
"Not freaky at all..."
SNAPE: Oh Very good. Now can anybody tell me what foreshaddowing is? Oh yes Miss Granger?
"Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way," Hermione said, then hit herself with a pillow.
HERMIONE: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way.
Everyone stared at Hermione. What? It was freaky. Tell me that isn't freaky.
SNAPE: Perfect!
"That was the perfect definition," Snape said.
RON: What was a portkey again I missed that one.
Ron was nodding. Honestly, did the guy ever listen.
HERMIONE: Oh, A portkey (RON: not you, oh my god) Is an enchanted object that when touched will transport you anywhere in the globe.
Everyone laughed at how Ron reacted, then laughed at how a pillow randomly plopped itself on Ron's head. He looked around, trying to find the culprit. Poor Ron.
SNAPE: And remember a portkey can be any harmless object, like a football. Or a dolphin.
"That'd be awesome," Harry said, grinning.
LAVENDER: Professor? Can like a person be a portkey?
SNAPE: No thats obsurd! Because if a person were to touch themselves (looks pointedly at Ron)
Ron looked exactly like the Ron on screen. Everyone was laugh, except Ginny, who was muttering,"I didn't need to know that."
they would constantly be transported into different places. A person can however be a Horcrux.
"What's a horcrux?" Harry asked.
HARRY: What's a, what's a Horcrux?
"Potter," Snape said,"don't repeat yourself!"
"Why didn't you yell at Hermione?!"
"She was answering my question."
SNAPE: I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough.
Dumbledore paled consideralbly.(sp)
HERMIONE: Professor what is the point of this quiz?
"Hermione Granger," Harry exclaimed.
"Asking the point of a quiz," Ron continued.
"What has happened to the world?" they asked together.
"Shut up," Ginny said," you aren't Fred and George!"
SNAPE: Oh no no no point in particular, just important information that everyone should know. Especially you! Now, moving right along, there are four houses. Gryffindor (Woo!),
The Gryffindors whooped and hollered.
Ravenclaw (OW!)
Cho just yelled,"Woo hop!"
Hufflepuff(CEDRIC: Find-) What?
and Slytherin. (Yesss)
Draco smirked and nodded.
Now traditionally, traditionally points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule breaking. Example! Ten Points from Gryffindor!
"What?!" they all screamed at Snape, but he refused to give the excuse of,"it's not me."
GRYFFINDOR: What?
SNAPE: For Miss Grangers excessive baby fat.
"Meany!" Ginny yelled.
Finally, under the red heads glare, he caved in,"It's not me!"
RON+HARRY: Thanks Hermione.
Harry and Ron gulped, but were spared. Ginny was off in Lala land. Probably thinking of Harry. Yeah.
SNAPE: Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the House Cup! However this year we are doing things a bit differently. And here to introduce it, is our new professor of the Dark Arts,
"You mean defense against the dark arts, right?"
Professor Quirrel! (Enter Quirrel)
The trio glared at at the screen, until they saw Quirrel, who had a turban on, but it was obviously hiding someone(A\N; Sorry, bad description, but I don't know how to describe him). Everyone, even Ginny, who never knew the professor, was laughing at the screen.
HARRY: Ow! OW! Ow!
HERMIONE: Harry, what's wrong?
HARRY: Ow! Ow! Jesus!
"Yes, yes," Harry said, seeing how as everyone was staring at him weirdly,"I know my character is over dramatic."
"That wasn't what we were going to say," Hermione commented.
"No,"Draco continued,"what we were going to say is that if you acted like that all the time, you'd have zero friends." Everyone nodded their head in agreement.
QUIRREL: The House Cup. A time honored tradition. For centuries- (DRACO:Go home terrorist! 'acting innocent')
Everyone was laughing. Again. "Oh my God," Harry gasped," why can't you be more funny like that Draco is, Draco?"
Draco, who was going red from laughter, just shook his head.
For centuries the four house of Hogwarts have competed for the honor and glory of House Champion. But where does this tradition come from, and what are the . . . roots of the competetion?
HERMIONE: The House Cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students.
"Who knew?" Ron asked.
"Well, obviously you didn't, so now you do," Hermione said, not picking up on Ron's sarcasm.
QUIRREL: That was a rhitorical question.
DUMBLEDORE: Granger quit interrupting, twenty points from Gryffindor.
RON: Thanks Hermione.
Ron was then hit by two pillows. The Grangers had A LOT of pillows in their living room.
QUIRREL: As I was saying, when the competetion first originated it was that of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks and challenges. The winner would not only win the cup (pause for dramatic effect for 2 seconds) but they would also win eternal glory.
"So," Harry scowled,"the Triwizard tournament."
HERMIONE: Kind of like a House Cup- or no like a Triwizard tournament.
"See," Harry said,"Hermione agrees with me."
"First of all," Hermione commented," no one disagreed with you. Second, tri means three. I know you a made four, but normally, there are only three."
QUIRREL: Yes, sort of like a Triwizard tournament- except, no not like that at all. There are four houses, how can it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teams?
"See," Hermione smiled,"the professor agrees with me."
HERMIONE: Wel, er, Professor if I remember correctly, the House Cup tournament was disbanded after one semester, when one of the students was killed during the first task.
Everyone bowed there heads. Poor Cedric.
QUIRREL: Yes. It is very dangerous, but the rewards far out weigh the risks.
Cho glared at the screen. Nothing outweighed the tragedy of death.
HERMIONE: I don't think you heard me. I just said somebody died!
Cho smiled at Hermione. Even though it was just a musical, she knew Hermione was like that. She mouthed 'Thanks' over to her. Hermione just smiled at her friend.
DUMBLEDORE: Hermione Granger, shut your ungodly lop-sided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points!
Ginny, Cho, And Hermione did something even the Dark Lord himself would never do. They threw pillows at Dumbledore.
HARRY: Thanks Hermione.
DUMBLEDORE: God! For the smartest witch of your age, you really can be a dumbass sometimes!
Harry and Ron smiled at each other. "But there's no wood," They said in a bad impression of Hermione. She just rolled her eye at the boys. Everyone else just stared at the screen.
(students laugh) Ten points to Dumbledor!
QUIRREL: Yes, yes, well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And as the professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe that a practical application is exactly what the corriculen needs to-
VOLDY: AH CHOO!
"Oh my wizard God," Ginny said,"that wasn't-"
"It was," hermione cut in.
"He didn't-"
"He did."
"Who knew he could do that?"
"No one."
DUMBLEDORE: Did your turban just sneaze?
"No," Draco said," It was lord McVoldyShorts." Everyone looked at him like he was insane. Hermione patted him on the head. At least something good happened...
QUiRREL: Wh-what? No.
DUMBLEDORE: I could have sworn I heard a sneaze coming from your dirrection but your mouth wasn't moving.
QUIRREL: No, Sorry that was simply a fart, excuse me. (starts to leave)
Everyone was just laughing. What the word fart did to teenagers.
VOLDY: AH CHOO! (bumps into harry)
HARRY: OW OW Ahh Jesus! (VOLDY: AH CHOO!)
QUIRREL: I must be going.
VOLDY: AH CHOO!
QUIRREL: I simply farted once more, excuse me.
Finally, everyone was silent, but the word fart made them start laughing all over again.
DUMBLEDORE: In Order of the newly ressurected house cup, a champion from each house will be selected to compete. So Snape, will you do the honors?
SNAPE: (Carrying cup) Yes Headmaster. (dramatically pulls out a slip of paper) First from the Ravenclaw House; A Miss Cho Chang!
"Really?" Cho asked.
"You'll be great," Ginny and Hermione said.
CHO: Oh, My god I won, I can't believe it ya'll I won!
SNAPE: A next from Hufflepuff (pulls paper out) Mr Cedric Diggory.
CEDRIC: Well, I don't FIND this surprising at all.
Everyone just had to roll there eyes. That joke was old.
CHO: I find it perfect 'cause now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend.
CEDRIC: I am glad as well my darling.
Cho looked like she was going to puke. She didn't like really romantic stuff.
SNAPE: A next, from the Slytherin house, (pulls slip out) A Draco Malfoy!
DRACO: Oh! Ho! I finally beat you didn't I Potter. What do you think of that huh?(goes over to gryffs and starts rolling all over them.) I'm the champion this time! (rolls onto floor)
Everyone was started to like Draco a bit. Probably because of his characters hilariousness. Yeah, that was it. Them actually liking him was as likely as him and Hermione dating. He he...
DUMBLEDORE: Draco sit down you little shit, champions just a title.
"Please be more like this Dumbledore," Ron said. Everyone stared at him. If that guy on screen was in charge, Hogwarts would be in trouble.
SNAPE: And finally from the Gryffindor House (pulls slip) Oh my. Well isn't this curious? The one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a very well known grudge against, is suddenly in a tournament where he very may well, lose his life.
NEVILLE: If-If its me, I'll just appolagise to my fellow Gryffindors right now for losing.
Everyone laughed at the guy.
SNAPE: Sit down, you inaticualte bumbler
"What?"
. Its Harry Potter!
RON: WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO!
HARRY: All right!
DUMBLEDORE: Well, here they are folks, the four Hogwarts champions, and I want all of you to start preparing imediately because the first task is in two months, and it could be anything. So lets get to it! Haha!
STUDENTS: Cho Chang! Cho Chang! Cho Chang! (Draco: Malfoy! Malfoy! Hey!)
"Poor Draco," Harry said, laughing as he went to change the scenes.
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