Disclaimer: The usual mubo jumbo. I own nothing. JK and Starkid do. I own a copy of the books and a computer to watch the play. That's it.

AN: HAPPY 2014! I'm super excited about, aren't you? Now that that's out of the way, I will go ahead and apologize if my Dramione is really bad. I'm usually not the best with romance. But, I tried. Oh, and Merry Christmas. What did you guys get? I got candy and books. It was a great year. And before I forget, if you haven't seen Frozen, you need to see it. It's by far, the best Disney movie ever. Which sister is your favorite, if you've seen it? Personally, I liked Elsa more. Anywho, enjoy the chapter!

As the two professors, two boys, and two girls ran towards the restroom, Draco and Hermione left to make some sandwiches. Why the musical had to make a cardboard cut-out of a delicious looking sandwich, they had no idea. But now everyone wanted one. "Could you get me the paper plates, please, Draco?" Hermione asked kindly, pointing to the pantry to show where they were.

"Would you like one?" Draco asked, wanting to know how many to get.

"Sure."

The two got everything on the counter,"Let's see," Hermione said, thinking of the things her friends eat,' Harry doesn't like any meat on a sandwich, Ron will take anything and everything, Ginny's going to try out for the Quidditch team, so as little calories as possible, and Cho is a vegetarian."

"Snape's lacoste(sp) intolerant, so no cheese, or stuff like that," Draco commented," and I'm imagining Dumbledore will like anything sweet." They set to work, Hermione making Harry's, Ron's, Ginny's, and her own, while Draco made Snape's, Dumbledore's, Cho's, and his own.

They worked in silence until Draco said," I meant what i said."

"About what?" Hermione furrowed her brow.

"About calling you a mudblood and promising never to do it again."

"Oh," was all Hermione could say. A minute later she asked, "Why?"

Now Draco was confused,"Um…erm…"

"I mean," Hermione noticed the boy's confusion," Why are you apologizing and promising to not do it again?"

"Because," Draco sighed," I meet a girl a while back, who was a muggle born. I asked my mom what to do and she said that muggle boys flirt with muggle girls by making fun of them. So I tried that by calling her a mudblood. I guess it accured to me this Summer that that strategy might not be working."

"Okay," Hermione said," but why are you apologizing to me and not the girls you have a crush on?"

"Wow," Draco chuckled,"I thought you were the brightest witch of our age, and that Ron was the oblivious one."

"He is!"

"Then you should be able to answer your question."

Hermione thought for a second then it came to her. "Oh."

"Yeah. I understand if you don't feel the same way."

Truth be told, Hermione did have feelings for the ferret. It started in third year, and just went from there. "No," she said, and stopped making Ginny's sandwich," I…. do..erm….like….you…like that…." she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Just ask Ginny. She and I have a lot of girl talks, so we know who the other person has a crush on."

"So," Draco paused, not knowing what to say," Would you, erm, like to be my girlfriend?"

Hermione smiled, and kissed his check. He turned towards her, causing them to kiss each other right on the lips. They kissed for a few more seconds, stopped, smiled at each other, blushing slightly, and finished the sandwiches. When they returned, everyone was back in their original seating.

Once they sandwiches were passed out, right before the musical started again, Ginny said,"So, Hermione, I noticed you never answered Draco." Little had the two love birds known, Ginny had spied on them as Draco asked Hermione out.

The two teenagers blushed, but Hermione still answered,"well I guess I'll go out with you Draco." Draco smiled, until he noticed Hermione's 'brothers' whispering to each other.

They both stood up like you would if you were Percy, and Harry said formally," We have agreed to let Draco Malfoy date Hermione Granger, but we feel he should be aware of the punishment if he hurts her in any way, shape, or form."

"That punishment is," Ron said, with honey mustard running down his chin," to be Tom Riddel's, aka Lord Voldemort's, aka You-Know-Who's, aka He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's, aka The Dark Lord's, aka Your Lordship's, aka Chief Death Eater's, aka Heir of Slytherin's, aka Voldy's sex slave."

"This proclamation has been made by Harry Potter, aka The Boy Who lived, aka the Chosen One, aka The Boy Who Lied, aka The Boy Who Scored, aka Scarhead, aka Potter the Plotter, aka Saint Potter, aka Precious Potter, aka Mr. Perkins, aka Patronus Potter, aka Potty wee Potter.

"This proclamation has also been made by Ron Wealsey, aka Wheezy, aka Master of Mystery, aka Weaselbee, aka Weasel King, aka Ronnie, aka Ickle Ronniekins, aka Ickle Prefect."

"This proclamation is because of the relationship between Hermione Granger, aka Hermy, aka Herm-oh-ninny, aka Her-my-own, aka Herm-i-own, aka 'Mione, and Draco Malfoy, aka Ferret."

Once the two sat down, Ginny said," That was funny and all, but were all those 'aka's necessary."

"Yes," Harry said," so there is no loophole to get out of proclamation."

"Is it just me," Cho aske," or did anyone else forget the punishment."

When everyone nodded, the two boys said,"the punishment would be being Voldemort's sex slave." Everyone shivered at the thought.

"Now that that is finally over with," Snape said,"let's start the next scene." As if there were magic in the room, the TV started.

(Enter Quirrel)

QUIRREL: Fools! They're all fools! They think they're safe.

Everyone laughed. Quirrel looked like a fool.

They think they're back for another fun year of learning shinanagans at Hogwarts.

"We don't think," Harry said.

"We know," Ron continued.

"Are you sure you aren't related?" Cho asked.

"Positive."

Little do they know of the danger that's lurking right under their noses, or should I say, On the back of their heads! (Turns around and pulls turban off)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Ginny screamed, then hid behind Hermione. Then she looked at the guy and said,"Wow. He's kind of cute. Don't you two think?" she asked Hermione and Cho.

"He is cute," Cho giggled," don't you think Hermione?"

"Yeah. He'd be even cuter if he didn't have that makeup on." The three girls started giggling.

"First of all," Harry said," you are talking about Voldemort. Vold-e-mort. The most evil wizard in history. And you three just called him cute."

"So?" The three asked. "It's just an actor, Harry."

"Yeah, but still. Oh, and Hermione, don't you have a boyfriend?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at her friend, then kissed Draco on the cheek.

VOLDEMORT: Arghh! (Starts to cough) ugh, ugh, ugh ugh ugh! (Quirrel bends over) Erugh! Ough! I can't breathe in that damn turban!

Everyone laughed. "I think I'll like this Voldemort," Ginny whispered to Hermione.

"QUIRREL: I'm sorry my Lord, its a neccisary precaution. For if they knew that you lived, that when Harry Potter destroyed you your soul lived on...

"We'd off ya Tommy boy," Harry said. Then everyone looked at him very strangely. "What?" They just shook their heads at him.

VOLDEMORT: Yes, that when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest, eating bugs, and mushrooms, and ugh, Unicorn blood.

Ginny started to laugh. "Whats wrong Ginny?" Harry asked, because nothing funny had happened.

"Its just," Ginny giggled,"there's a muggle saying: you are what you eat. So if that were true, Voldemort would be a unicorn." Those who weren't eating howled with laughter, while those you were eating *cough* Ron *cough* put down their food...slowly.

"QUIRREL: Until I found you and let you attatch yourself to my soul.

"And why you would do that, we have no idea," Snape drawled, making the teens laugh.

VOLDEMORT: Yes, Nobody must know any of that. Now, Quirrel, get me some water. (Quirrel bends over and gets water.) Now Quirrel, pour it in my mouth. (Unscrews it and starts to pour backwards into Voldy's mouth).

"I wonder if that's what they really had to do," Harry laughed.

"No," Hermione answered," Voldemort only had to drink the Unicorn blood to be alive. The food and normal water was taken from Quirrel every time he ate or drank something, kind of like a tapeworm." Then, once again, everyone stared at her," What? I get bored easily." Everyone shook their heads at the bookworm, and Draco kissed her cheek.

QUIRREL: Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly my leige.

"'My liege'! Seriously, who says that now a days?" Ginny asked. Liege is a weird word, isn't it.

"The servants of the Dark Lord," Snape answer sarcastically. A few of the crazy people laughed, but most people in the room backed away slowly.

VOLDEMORT: Yes, yes, I'm done with the water. (Quirrel bends back over to put water down.)

The teens started laughing, Dumbledore twinkled slightly, and Snape stared at the group. What was so funny about saying you were done with water?

We must not have anymore foul ups like tonight in the great hall.

"You sneezed!" Ron exclaimed.

"Ron," Hermione said nicely,"it's Voldemort. You don't really think he'd take blame for his mistakes, do you?"

"No."

QUIRREL: I'm sorry My Lord, you sneezed.

"My brother thinks like Quirrel," Ginny muttered,"that's nice."

VOLDEMORT: I know that! Get me some lazonex, you swine! (Quirrel bends to get it and puffs it into Voldy's nose and then his own)

The kids started chuckling. They were finding something funny in everything.

Wash that turban, it tickles my nose.

"But Voldemort doesn't have nose," Harry said confused.

"Yeah, but that Voldemort does," Ginny explained.

QUIRREL: Yes my Dark King.

" 'Dark King"! Now that just goes over the edge," Ginny said. It would be annoying being called the Dark King or My Liege all day.

VOLDEMORT: Okay, just relax with the Dark King, okay? I watch you wipe your butt daily.

"Merlin," Draco said over the laughter,"that would be embarrassing. You now, whipping your butt in front of one of the darkest wizards of all time." Then he imagined it, and joined the rest of the teens in laughing at the two.

You can call me Voldemort we're there. We've reached that point.

"Oh," Ginny giggled,"you've reached that point have you?" This caused the rest of the girls to laugh, and the boys to be very confused.

QUIRREL: Yes, my- Voldemort.

"Ahhhh," the girls cooed.

"What are you finding so cute?" Harry asked the girls worriedly.

"Those two," Cho said,"it's obvious that they're going to get together."

"WHAT?!" was asked from the boys.

"I wonder what their shipper name should be?" Ginny asked.

"I've got it," Hermione smiled, ignoring the fact that Draco was trying to scoot away from her,"Quirrelmort!"

"Perfect," the other two said, and the three erupted into giggles. All of the boys in the room, no matter the age, stared at each other in fear. If the musical they were watching could make three usually sane girls giggle like lunatics at the idea of Voldemort and Quirrel hooking up, what would it do to them?

VOLDEMORT: Now Quirrel, get us ready for bed. We must be well(bends over) rested if we wish to kill Potter.

Harry groaned at that, which caused everyone to chuckle.

Tonight in the great hall, he was so close! We could have touched him.

"That didn't sound wrong at all," Snape muttered, and Dumbledore laughed, having heard what the potions master said. The teens looked at the two like they were crazy, but they all had a good idea of what Snape had said.

(Quirrels put mouthwash in his mouth) Revenge is at my fingertips Quirrel, I can taste it! It taste like cool mint.

QUIRREL: Thats our listerine Voldemort.

"What's listerine?" Ron asked.

"Mouthwash," Ginny answered, knowing this stuff after spending almost all of the summer at Hermione's house.

VOLDEMORT: Yes, excelent. Well, um, goodnight Quirrel.

QUIRREL: (Turns so that Quirrels back is facing the bed) Goodnight. (Leans back slowly and Voldy's head goes straight into the pillow. Stays there for about five seconds)

"Well that's not awkward at all," Harry muttered, while the girls went back to giggling like a bunch of lunatics.

VOLDEMORT: Okay okay, I can't do this! You got to roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy.

"Can you imagine Voldemort actually saying that?" Cho asked as everyone else laughed at the mental image of the Dark Lord, Lord Moldyshorts, King of Serpents and Unicorns saying that.

QUIRREL: I always sleep on my back, I have back problems, Its the only way I'm comfortable.

"How about sleeping on your sides? That can't hurt, can it?" Harry asked, laughing along with everyone else in the room.

VOLDEMORT: You roll over RIGHT NOW! Or I'll- I'll eat your pillow! You'll be having a dream that your eating a giant marshmallow and you'll wake up and find your favourite goose feathered pillow will be missing.

"I feel like I'm missing a reference," Hermione said, then put on a cute thinking face that made Draco kiss the top of her head.

QUIRREL: Fine, we'll compromise. We'll sleep on our side.

"That's what Harry said," Ron yelled,"Harry, you think like Quirrel!"

VOLDEMORT: Okay, I guess I can do this.

QUIRREL: Now goodnight.

VOLDEMORT: Goodnight Quirrel.

"Not gonna be that simply, is it?" Snape asked sarcastically.

"Living with someone never is," Dumbledore chuckled.

(Voldy's eyes are open and is staring at the robes on the chair next to the bed. Keeps looking for around fifteen seconds.) Hey Quirrel. How long have those robes been on that chair?

"HAAAA,"Ginny screamed,"NEAT FREAK!"

"Ginny calm down," Harry said trying to calm the ginger down.

QUIRREL: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.

VOLDEMORT: Well, are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan with these?

QUIRREL: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning okay?

VOLDEMORT: No! No, no that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there is dirty clothes on the chair,

"Look Voldy," Hermione glared,"I slept for a year not knowing what would happen to Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. If you can't sleep one night knowing there are dirty clothes on a chair, I will find you and-" she stopped talking and made a choking jester at the screen. Everyone in the room, minus Ginny who knew where Hermione was coming from, stared at Hermione like she confessed to being the little mermaid and killing off flownder(sp).

the chair is going to start to smell like dirty clothes!

QUIRREL: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.

"Good Quirrel," Harry praised,"stand up to the evil person on the back of your head, sucking on your life force."

"You need to work on that praise, mate," Ron commented.

VOLDEMORT: You put them away, RIGHT NOW! I COMAND YOU to just, fold them at least! Make it into a neat pile. (they both sit up)

QUIRREL: Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have to learn to live with each other. Now, I've been single all my life and I have some habbits, and sometimes I leave laundry around.

Ginny and Hermione started laughing for some reason. "Whats so funny?" Draco asked his girlfriend worriedly.

"Inside joke," the two said simultaneously.

VOLDEMORT: Well, I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods

Suddenly, a pillow hit the TV. Everyone turned towards Draco, who had thrown it. "Draco, sweety," Hermione said,"why did you throw a pillow at the TV?"

"Because he said a bad word."

Hermione bite her lip to stop from laughing,"Yes, he said a bad word, but please don't throw a pillow at my TV."

Draco smiled,"Okay," and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

have their place and so. Do. Your. Clothes! Namely, a dresser!

QUIRREL: Well, aren't we an odd couple!

(starts to sing and stands up) You won't sleep on your tummy,

"Oh, good Lord."

VOLDEMORT: You won't sleep on your back.

QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: We're quite a cooky couple you'll agree.

QUIRREL: We share some hands and fingers,

VOLDEMORT: And yet the feeling lingers.

"Didn't sound wrong at all," Harry muttered.

QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: We're just about as different, as anyone can be!

"Yeah," Cho agreed,"you are."

VOLDEMORT: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill!

"Why is that not surprising?" Ginny asked sarcastically.

QUIRREL: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill!

Hermione sighed happily, thinking about her wonderful friends, the books.

Sipping tea by the fire is swell-

VOLDEMORT: Pushing people in is fun as well.

"Also not surprising."

I like folding all my ties.

QUIRREL: And you have no friends, hey thats a surprise!

"Go Quirrel," was yelled by every boy in the room. They each then got hit with a pillow. Yes, even Snape.

QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: I guess its plain to see, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can be.

"Yes you are," Ron agreed.

VOLDEMORT: Your a sissy, a twot a girl! I'm the darkest of Lords.

QUIRREL: I'm the smartest professor here, I've won several awards!

"You are not the smartest professor, you inarticulate moron," Snape yelled.

"Yeah," Harry agreed," if smartness was measured by awards, Hermione should have, like, a million."

"And you and Ron would have negative a hundred," Ginny smiled, causing everyone to chuckle.

VOLDEMORT: My new worlds about to unfold,

QUIRREL: You got beat by a two year old.

"I was one and a half," Harry muttered.

VOLDEMORT: I'll kill him this time through and through,

QUIRREL: Or you might just give him another tatoo.

"It's a scar," Ron said, confused.

"They just wanted it to rhyme," Hermione told her friend.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: You really must agree, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can-

VOLDEMORT: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world! But you must help me renew! For when our plans suceed-

QUIRREL: Prevails!

VOLDEMORT: Part of that world goes to you.

"You know," Hermione said,"if you don't die will separating from Voldeshorts, which isn't likely." Everyone frowned. What was with everyone saying Voldyshorts?

QUIRREL: When I rule the world I plant flowers!

"That's nice," Cho smiled.

VOLDEMORT: When I rule the world I'll have Snakes! And goblins and werewolves a fleet of Dementors and giants and thestrals and all my death eaters!

"That's not nice," Cho frowned, and everyone laughed at the Asian.

QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: When I rule the world! (Both start to laugh like maniacs)

"So," Harry said,"let's hope neither of you rule the world."

"Yeah," Ginny said, standing up to change the scenes,"that about sums it all up."

Massive thanks to all the reviews, favorites, and follows. If you awesome people could do me a favor and read a story I'm Betaing, that'd be awesome. It's called a different yule ball. Thanks for reading and please review.