Okay, let's get it on! Oh yea. :0
Charmed: Yeah...smh they a mess
Paige: ...profound... :) Yep, you're right. Didn't feel a thing. All of these people will be touched by karma, what type of person I'd be if I didn't give them their just desserts? =0
LovinHueyFreeman: lol! Tonya is explained in this chapter...it's not pretty. :(
Deadman2k47: Thank you and no! No studio time. I can't rap. lol love you. =]
Iloveyou: LOL. Wow, so mean. lol Sorry the chap messed you up. :( it had to be real! lol
Disclaimer: Don't own Boondocks. :(
Chapter Eight: Fans are Created, Memories are Jaded
'I live in the fast lane, bitch can't tell me anything.' –Riley Escobar Freeman
What's my style?
Am I battle rappin' or what am I supposed to represent?
This is what I tell em'
I'm Riley Escobar
I'm just doing me
What's the ice grill for?
Girl you act like I ain't wit' it ma
What you frontin for?
Get off the wall
Get on the floor
Dance, what ya'll waitin' for?
Keep it down wit' all that hatin'
It's the great 1-4
2-3 Escobar is the name
5,6,7,8
Chi Town's my city! Yea!
Huey P, Ninth Wonder, DJ Otto, the whole 312 c'mon!
Chick tryanna dance I got my hands in her pants (yea!)
French kissin' in the club like I'm reppin for France
I make em' hot in seconds with my public display of affections
C'mon, try me if you like and see a public display of big weapons
Mic check on emptyin' weapons
Big 3-1-2 reppin
Turn aces into frat boys
Watch you start steppin
Start second guessin a rap or record
You'll see heavy metal
Ninth Wonder in the bulidin' even if there's only one level
No doubt I'm a true devil; I'm a club life pervert
Known for murkin' mics and making what's under her skirt hurt
I don't call girls phones (nah)
I go meet em' then go beat em'
I'll come through ya block though
Light up ya street
When I leave ya'll pick up shells like ya'll at the beach
The battles you seen on TV where I decapitate rappers
Takin' they heads off like Iraqi kidnappers (ohhh weee!)
"Ohhhh man! That was the one any only Escobar with his hottest and newest single, 'I am Escobar'! This is Eddy Bear here at WRNK the Beat! The video to this song is fire, BET just released it on 106, it's June 30th, and Esco's 2nd CD, Rags to Riches is hittin the shelves July 2nd. He will be throwing his annual release party in New York at the H Spot with DJ Otto! If you're in the NY area, I KNOW you hype for the party! I also want to give a huge shout out to his big bro Huey; he beat on that Brazilian this past weekend, winning this year's finals! Congrats to both those boys, both are making moves!"
o0o
Sirayah's POV
That evening, I was to attend a musical concert in Amro's music store. It was a showcase of teacher's and their student. I could only take five, so I decided to take one of each instrument. Our school was the last to perform, and once my students were done, I was called to the stage. I played Adele's 'Set Fire to the Rain' on my violin. I closed my eyes as I felt the music course from my soul to my instrument. It felt nice to play after what's all been happening to me. This was candy to my ears. I felt like I could play forever. God, this was one of the songs I simply loved to play, four minutes long was not long enough for me. When I was done, I was greeted with a standing ovation. I bowed and smiled. When the event was over, I was making small talk with some of the parents about their students when my mom pinched my elbow.
"I got a surprise for you, look to your left." She whispered. I turned to see Huey! I blushed, mom giggled.
"I told him about tonight, I'm sure you wanted to see him." I nodded slowly, after a swift get away from the crowd I walked up to him, and when I did, he revealed a single rose.
"Thank you!" I smiled as I took his gift.
"You deserve it, you played beautifully." I melted on the inside. "You really think so?"
"I know so. You also look nice; you're dressed perfectly for dinner." I was wearing a long spaghetti strap black dress with a red shawl over it with red sandals that had assorted gems on them.
"That's where we're going?"
"Mhm."
When we walked outside, the paparazzi took pictures of us as from a far, I was so irritated. Why are people so interested in other people's business? Then all that flashing, ugh so annoying!
"How can you stand it?" I asked as he opened the door for me.
"I don't, just ignore it." The managers blocked off all the pops from coming inside the restaurant, much to my elation, and we were able to spend some quality time alone.
"Congrats on your finals match. I watched it last Saturday; you were great, as usual." Huey made…uhm…I forgot his name, but he had put him in a very tight triangle hold, ultimately making him tap out. He didn't go down without a fight though, Huey did take a mean swift kick to the head, I was worried about that, but he got back up and came at him with a vengeance. By the end of that match, both were bloodied and bruised, I could see the minor cut Huey had on the far left of his forehead, almost cutting into his hair.
"Thank you, he was a tough opponent. Enough about me how are you?"
"I'm fine. How is the gang?"
"They are well. Cindy left for another shoot, Cease is getting his album together up in Detroit right now, and you already know Riley is gearing up for his album release party."
"Ohhh, I can't wait for that!" I cried.
"Yeah, you guys can ride with me instead of taking the Super Bus there."
"No, I'd rather take the bus…I don't think you'd want Nicole in your car." I laughed nervously; he then gave me a weird look.
"Really? You're still friendly with her?"
"She explained her side, its fine." Huey looked at me with another look…a look that said he wasn't buying it, but instead of pushing, he sighed and shook his head.
"I personally don't want her there…but if you say so."
I knew he wouldn't like the idea of me bringing along Cole, but…I don't know…maybe it is a mistake, but I love her, that's my cousin, I won't just leave her out just because she's…eccentric. I'm trying to give her a shot at redemption here.
"When she royally fucks you over, don't cry about it later."
…Ouch.
"…Thank you…Huey." I said forcefully. I didn't take long for me to really scope out his personality. He isn't the type to spare feelings at the expense of your wanting him to. He isn't exactly prince charming either. I can tell him that hurt me, but all he'd say is that the truth hurts. That's just the type of person Huey was. I can't and won't try to change that…like…I laughed it off earlier when he said I should be vegan like him…but inside me it felt like he was nit picking my own ways. Maybe I'm being too passive aggressive here. Maybe since it's been a while since I've dated anyone, my interaction has became a little fried, none the less I would like for Huey to be more…sensitive to my prospects of things sometimes. That's what I don't like about him…he's too brutal. I wonder if Jazmine felt the same way. Pft don't get me twisted, I'm FAR from agreeing with her, it's just…maybe she just horribly took his words the wrong way. Or could it be I'm just too sensitive too? I can't tell.
"You're welcome." I sighed as I picked at my food.
"You're mad aren't you?"
"No."
"You're lying."
"Huey…"
"I'm just saying, she could easily lie to you and wouldn't feel a thing afterwards. You shouldn't cloud your judgment just because you love her."
"Don't you think I know that?" I mumbled. "If it's a mistake to trust her, let me learn the hard way."
"That's the only way people want to learn." He sighed after a brief silence.
"I'm sorry…look…I'm just telling you to watch out for her, that's all. You know she doesn't like Alice, and Riley is rocky enough as it is without Tonya or Nicole ruining it. I just…don't want to see my circle get hurt because of some girls' jealousy. You and Alice are a part of said circle."
"I know I'm insensitive, yeah...you do know her more than I do, but none the less, I'm saying It because I care. I didn't want our relationship to come out the way it did…because it's just getting started. I just came from a wreck of a marriage…I'm not trying to repeat that. Outsiders destroy lives…and she's an outsider."
He sighed.
"I've been through so much; do you know how much dirt I got on Tonya and Jazmine? I try everyday not to stoop down to their level and blow their shit sky high…but I can't lie and say they haven't hit that button. I feel like the day will come where I will lose my shit, I already know it…but I just don't know when. They're taking advantage of the fact I have yet to play dirty. They don't know…no body knows how nasty I can get with it. But you'd just…have to really piss me off."
I was interested.
"Oh? What do you know that the world doesn't?" He shook his head slowly.
"You already know about Jazz cheating on me, but with that…she slept with some producer in order to get her first album out…then she had slept with the CEO of Universal Records…and his brother to get signed."
Damn.
"Tonya? Oh…she was like Nicole. She was on that Superhead shit. She wanted me and Caesar to run a train on her at a party two years ago. Around that time, well…I can't lie…Caesar slept with her…but I didn't. He was still with Cindy then. You know…I'm actually quite surprised she didn't announce that when she first got her radio show. I heard she sucked off some guys to do it. Keyword being 'guys' here."
I was so disgusted. This industry was NASTY. I mean, I heard the tales of music video girls…but damn! Ew! I'm glad he and Riley had enough sense to stay away from her…I don't know Caesar's half of the story…so I won't judge him on it. If no one knew about it, he probably regretted it.
"Tonya also had a train with 5 of the New England Patriot's football team. Yeah, she's a ran through whore. Completely. This is one dick she cannot have."
That makes SO much sense. How she always bashes them, always take shots at them. No wonder she's ready to throw me and Al under the bus.
"Sirayah, this is no place for a weak heart. You think the regular world is cold…this whole fame thing…it's just a monster. It feeds those who cry for attention, so desperate to be loved they'd sell their souls if it meant fame and fortune. What keeps you grounded is that you remember who you are…where you came from…and where you want to go. That's me, I don't want this monster. People think, 'oh, they have money, they can't have real world problems', that's a damn lie. Money is the illusion that makes people feel we're happy…Sirayah…we aren't happy."
Wow…I knew that...but to hear someone say it…was a different thing. Huey said what most celebrities never would…they aren't happy with themselves. Sleeping with all these people…is it really worth all that? You'd lower yourself just to be known? You'd sell yourself to feed others the illusion of happiness…sell lies just to make yourself feel important. You'd see them all smiles on TV…but you aren't around these people when those cameras are off, you don't see how they live. How can you say you know them? They don't even know themselves, and I think that's the scariest part.
"Never think the grass is greener on the other side."
"Exactly…because you have no idea what that person did to get there." Huey said. I felt genuine pity for Jazmine and Tonya. I can say the same for Nicole…she's so desperate to get in their shoes…it's frightening. It's frightening to know how these people are wired in the head. It's sick and twisted. Then you have all these people who believe in them and side with them. It's…sad.
"Sometimes…I'm scared for Riley." Huey continued. "He's just as lost as them…but he's different…he just won't admit it. I'm rooting for him and Alice…she can save him. I know it. He's already more conscious about his partying ways…Riley has been trying to find himself for years…but I think he feels that he has no real identity because he never got the chance to meet our parents. He's already confided to Alice about our folks...that's a sign she has potential. His problem is that he can't handle his own emotions, well to be fair…I do too, but I think you've seen my cons."
Riley has always came off as so confident to me. He didn't seem like to be battling with such problems. Heh…look at me…I'm going by what I see on TV. Case closed. People need to take off their rose colored glasses…I know I have, and what all I'm seeing isn't pretty.
o0o
Youtube Exclusive: Video of Sirayah VeTuldo playing 'Set Fire to the Rain' on violin!
Camera's caught Huey's mystery girl at Woodcrest's Amros Music Store performing with her students! -Via World Star Hip-Hop.
Views: 250,987
Likes: 2,956
Dislikes: 230
Comments:
'Aww, no wonder people hatin' on her. She fine as hell! The way that Tonya ho was talking about her made it sound like chick was ugly. Huey got an upgrade, she shits on Hollywood. I bet Riley's new piece is just as cute.'
'Bitch can play violin and shit, betcha she can't sing as good as Hollywould!'
'Ho, sit yo' thirsty ass down, I've decided I'm a Sirayah fan, and she literally has more talent in her fingers than that stupid cum guzzlin' Hollywould. I know she can out sing Holly. BET!'
'I think this woman is lovely, and so is her talent. She taught those kids well. I agree I can feel that she can sing her ass off. She put too much soul in her playing for her not to, Adele would be damn proud. Congrats to Huey, he has a real woman this time around. #Sirayahfan'
o0o
Riley's POV
I managed to convince Alice to come over to my spot that night. I wanted her company. She looked around my place. It was black, red, and white all over.
"Ha…Scarface…right?" I pointed at the huge framed photo of that classic Al Pacino Scarface poster on the far right side of the wall.
"You've seen nigga's on MTV Cribs rock the Montana, but they don't live and breathe that movie like I do." The carpet was red, the walls were white with a strip of red paint and the couches were black. Out of all the houses I owned, this one was my favorite. It was the first mansion I bought, and I decked it out the way it is now.
"Ahh, I like that movie too. Hehehe." She giggled. I pulled her over to the couch, placing her in my lap.
"So, how was your week, all bullshit aside?"
"It was fine. Girls stopped approaching me at work. Heh, I heard your new song today…it was great. Sirayah liked it too, mainly because you gave Huey a shout out. How you've been?"
I faulted. Did I really want to tell her about my mini episode? No…I don't want to look like some love sick pussy ass guy. Not my style. I don't even want to remember last week. The one time I mess myself up, that's when I'll be able to remember anything…ain't that some shit?
"I'm good." But I really wasn't. I had threw up because I was sick to my stomach at the thought of losing Al, or was it that I could fall in love or I had way too much drugs and alcohol…I don't know. I can't really tell the difference.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, damn…why you sweatin me?" I snapped, but I didn't mean to. She flinched.
"…Sorry." I bit my lip.
"I'm sorry…the stress of this whole album thing…kinda got to me." It was the partial truth. Haruna was getting on me about doing a tour in three months, and it was getting on my nerves. I hate doing tours…it's annoying to me. She scooted off my lap and on the couch. Damn it! I don't want to run her off after all this. I'm not trying to look like another abusive nigga…I got heart…I just…something in me stopping me from showing it. Guah! What the fuck is wrong with me? If I can tell her about my parents then I can tell her how I feel. See, I don't like what I just said…telling her how I feel. I sound like a damn Tyrese song or some shit.
"Riley…I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything…"
"I don't want to talk anymore." I pulled her into a kiss. When we had to stop for air I put my forehead on hers.
"Riley…I'm not a jump off that you can—"
"I never said you were."
"Then talk to me. Tell me how you really feel." She challenged me with those fiery brown eyes, the same spice that she had in her eyes after whooping Nicole at the club…that fire that attracts me to her. I'm worried if I get too close, she'd only burn me.
"Alice…I've had some shit done to me in my lifetime." I said honestly. There are things that happened to me that I haven't even told Huey, well only one major thing. And no, before you even think that, I'm not a closet rapper, that's just disgusting. It was many summers ago… the lost years of my adolescence. I could say that chick was the first love of my life. She and I did everything together. She was my partner in crime, my ride or die chick. She was the one who was down for whatever, whenever. You already know her name…Cindy. That's right…I was once crazy about that girl. I loved how she'd whoop ass and take names with me in the evening. I remember when we ran our chocolate stand, she was a down ass and didn't back down from the dangers that came our way. She was my love, plain and simple.
It only grew stronger when I gotten into my teen years. By then, we were still doing our shit, hanging together…smoking together…and one hot August afternoon, we slept together. She was my first, and I thought she'd be the last. Obviously I was wrong…
Flashback:
I was sitting on the bench, waiting for Cindy. Damn, where is this girl? Today, I'mma be a real nigga and tell her what's up. I want her to be my main chick. I'mma tell her how crazy I am about her, and I want to be the only one she needs and would want. After two hours, I was furious. She skipped out on our basketball session? I was going to tell her after I won against her! Sweaty and angry, I walked to her house. I heard talking in the backyard and I leaned in the gates to listen.
"I don't know how to tell him Caesar…"
"You have to. It's not fair for none one of us, who do you want more? Me, or Riley?"
"Ceasar, I didn't mean to come off like I was playin you-"
"You did! I was walkin' around, thinkin what you felt was real, you out with someone else!"
"I like you both okay! I know it isn't fair! I can't help it! You don't think I thought about how this could destroy everything between us? I feel awful! I'm no better than my stupid mother!" she sobbed. It was a hot August day…so why it felt like December? This world is cruel, it's wicked, and I'm done with it. No longer will someone ever have the chance to take me or my love for granted. I opened the gate and revealed myself.
"Hey." I said flatly. Cindy looked horrified, Cease just looked at me, and I looked at him. I was Huey's brother, he was his friend. During the whole time me and her were together, I noticed her change when Caesar moved into the neighborhood. I can't figure out why I'm surprised. Both of us were silently competing, and there's no doubt who won. I'm the loser…I'm always the loser. I lost my parents, I lost my friends I had in Chicago to move here, why feel shocked to lose the girl I like too?
I say all that, but slowly, pieces of my heart is steady rotting away.
"It's cool…" that's all I said and I left them there. Cindy chased me down.
"Riley! I'm sorry! So sorry…" she panted.
"…For what Cindy?" I left her on the sidewalk.
End
After a while, I pretended Cindy and I never happened…but that's when it all started…the heavier drug use…drinking…and sex almost every night. I left every girl in the dust…because that was what was done to me. Soon…I felt numb to the hole in my heart. I don't even feel it anymore. I just looked at Alice. I haven't told anyone that story…and you know what?
I'm not about to.
"But despite it all…I'm fine." Why stop lying now? She looked at my eyes, looking for the parts of me I would not share.
"…Alright Riley." Huey was right, I am selfish. But…people turn people that way! We are our own teachers, teaching each other how to use, abuse, and hurt ourselves. Cindy taught me how to hurt people, my parents taught me how to leave, and I'm a master of it all.
"But I want you to know Riley…my words are genuine. I do care about you."
Stop saying shit like that! I feel ugly and guilty enough all ready. I jumped off the couch.
"How can you? You don't know a thing about me!" I shouted at her.
"Because you refuse to let me in, and I can't understand why." Alice kept her cool.
"Riley…what's really good with us? One minute it's fine…the next you're distant all over again. I get to block 10 with you, and then you push me all the way back to 1."
In my head I'm protecting myself…but to Alice I'm a fucking bi-polar mess…I can't stand it. I can't stand it because I know it…but I can't stop acting like I don't!
"I know this may go against your whole street cred…but it's okay to be scared…and you are not the only person in this room who is scared of getting hurt. I can read you already. I know when you're happy, and I can tell when you aren't. When you called me to come over here you sounded distant then, and when we talked I could tell something bothered you last week, you just won't tell me." She stood up and put her tiny hand on my check and smiled at me.
"I want to know everything about you…hell, people know about me now, and to be honest, I don't care anymore. If I have to make a sacrifice to prove to you I'm with you…so be it."
"…You mean that?"
"Yes."
"What if I wanted you to sacrifice your whole life to me?" I needed to know that she won't walk out on me.
"I'll be that dedicated to you." She gave me a peck on the lips. "If you promise to work with me."
"Fine."
o0o
The next day Huey came to my house, banging on the front door like the fuckin' police!
"Nigga you got a key!" I screamed at him when I opened the door, he just smiled at me.
"I left it at the house."
"Dumbass." I was still pissed, but decided to just let it go.
"Plus, its early…I wanted to wake you if you were sleep."
"Naw, ain't nobody sleep…I was writing some songs…I became inspired after talking to Alice last night…I think I'll save these for my 3rd album next year…or at least put Loser on Rags to Riches as a Special Edition track."
"…Loser?"
"That's the name of one of the songs I wrote…" he followed me to my music room. It was the only spot in the house where I did any work. Dozens of my art work and graffiti lettering was all the walls.
"Speaking of Al, how is she?"
"She's okay…she's taking it a lot better than I thought she would."
"See? What I told you." He sat at the table with me. It was the same table that use to be up in our rooms when we were little. It was standing the test of time, the wood was dark and lost its shine, and was chippin' at the legs.
"Someone took a video of Sirayah and put it on WWSHP…then on YouTube." I said while yawning.
"I know, do you know that video shot up to a million views already?" he shook his head.
"Wow, it was only 200,000 something when I saw it." I rummaged through my papers.
"So, can I get a preview?" Huey put his chin in his hand.
"What makes you so special?"
"I'm yo' brother jackass." I laughed.
"Okay, okay. I'll give you the chorus." I took a deep breath, finding the tempo.
'I once was the loser
Now older still the same loser
That's why I look so different to you
You see the past, I see the future
Now my buzz is off the chain
Everybody knows my name
And the more things around me change
But you know who's gonna stay the same
Gonna stay the same'
"Riley…wow…that…can I hear the whole song?"
"Nope." I swatted his hand away from the paper.
"Alice inspired you to write that?"
I sighed heavily.
"I almost fucked up last night Huey…I know what's my problem but-"
"WAIT! …We're not playing Mortal Kombat, isn't this gay?" I frowned up so hard at him.
"I am being serious, you non funny, big afro ass negro." He laughed harder and louder than usual. That's fucked up!
"Heh…sorry…but you walked into that…I'm sorry bruh, keep talking." Huey nodded.
"You fucked up Huey…anyway. Yeah…I almost messed it up between Al and I. Our relationship is already on eggshells because of me…I'm stuck in this rut. I don't want to hurt Alice, but I've gotten to the point where…"
"You'd rather hurt her first before she has the chance, where is all this coming from Riley?"
"…I've been hurt before." I muttered. I was lying to myself for years that what happened between me and Cindy didn't mess me up. It did…it really did.
"Riley…talk to me."
I shook my head.
"You know…repressing so much at once isn't healthy…and with you doing drugs and drinking…it's going to catch up with you. I wanted to talk to you about that too…ay man…for real…you got to slow that shit down. You're too young for this…you'll be burned out by the time you're my age."
"I know…"
"No you don't know, damn Riley, you got people in your corner…use them. I'm your brother…you mean you can't tell me? You can't tell blood what's wrong with you?"
When I was younger…I didn't want him to fall out with Caesar, that's why I never told him. At the time, Huey needed a friend like Caesar, and I put his feelings before my own. I hated Caesar…but not so much to let Huey lose his other support system…especially after everything Jazmine put him through. I didn't want to be another person in his life to cause him more problems, but then again, that's all I ever do in the end…cause problems. I fidgeted in my seat, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to tell Huey because of his friendship, and I didn't want to tell Alice in fears of looking fuckin' weak.
"Riley…we're some fucked up guys, let's just be honest about it…just tell me. You know I won't think any less of you, Alice won't think any less of you. If there's anyone you can trust it's us."
I broke down and told him, I told him what happened, and I told my reasons for keeping it to myself for the last 15 years. Huey's face was unreadable when I was done.
"…You did that…for me?" he dropped his eyes to the table, and looked back up at me.
"Riley, you are my brother first, second, and third to anyone, understand that. If anything, I would've told you to settle it amongst yourselves…and did it. Cease didn't even tell me…probably for the same reason…not wanting to create a wedge in our friendship."
Yeah…I guess.
"Riley you…heh…you never cease to surprise me. Our relationship is far from perfect…but I always knew you had my back in your own way…I'm the same way for you. You know you can talk to me about anything." He sat back in the chair in folded his arms.
"You know what you gotta do now right? Before you let that song out…tell Al what you told me. She'll understand, and I have to be honest, if she put up with you for this long…she won't see you any different."
"Yeah…alright…I will. Hey Huey?"
"What's up?"
"You's still a bitch."
"And you're an Emo black guy who's too scared to share his feelings."
"…"
"Oh, that joke was too soon?"
"Fuck you."
R&R! Love you guys! Until next time, more drama mess on the way! Hhahaahahaha! =D