Disclaimer: I own nothing but Kel's memories, even then most of the people in them belong to the lovely Tamora Pierce.
She was so high. Far above the people below. She felt like a bird. She couldn't help but be amazed at the freedom the tower held. It was far away from everybody. A quiet place. It was her place.
From the first moment that Kel had climbed the tower and looked over the railing, she had loved that spot of Mindelan the best. She often found her way past those who were to be watching her and would go to the top. Even as a young child she was quiet and thoughtful.
It was as she was reflecting about how often she visited the tower, looking down at the people working below that she heard somebody coming up the stairs. She felt safe enough that she never moved from her spot. She nearly jumped when she felt hands lift her up. She barely saw Conal's face as he asked, "Want a better view of the ground little sis?" before she was being held over the edge of the railing. She was fine; it felt like she was flying just like the birds she had watched many times.
And then she was terrified, the moment of flight was over. She was now hanging upside down staring at the ground. The very faraway ground. Nothing but her brother's hold keeping her from falling. She finally screamed, causing the people below to look up.
It may have only been a few moments, but to Kel it felt like an eternity before she was back over the railing and in the safety of her mother's arms. The tears continued to flow down her cheeks as she held onto her mother. She heard her father yelling but nothing made sense to her anymore.
That night she was going down to the dinner, the nanny was carrying her to the dining hall. When she saw the drop over the edge of the railing, she stiffened before she began to scream, a roaring in her ears. Kicking her way from the nanny's hands she ran to the nearest corner. She would not near the edge. It took most of the night for the family to figure out how to get her down the stairs. They had to use the servant's stairs, where there was no view over the edge.
The months following the incident were just blurred, mostly they held a young Kel that was either screaming as she looked over anything with an edge, or standing still, too afraid to take another step for fear that she would go over the edge and die. It was this fear that had Kel almost blind to all of the preparations that were going on around her.
It was one day as her mother was trying to help Kel learn to climb stairs without freezing that her mother talked to her about the changes. "Kel, we are going to be going on a boat and sailing to the Yamani Islands. It is part of your father's job and duty as a diplomat. We will be living with them for many years sweetheart. Things will be different. Do you understand?"
Kel looked up at her mother with wide eyes, "Do they have large heights?"
Her mother bent down to look Kel in the eyes, "Yes, some places do sweets, but you know what Keladry?" When Kel shook her head her mother continued. "You're my brave daughter. I know that we can get you through this fear. You will be able to walk up and down the stairs again. You might not like heights, but you will not freeze. I believe in you."
The next month of Kel's memories were a blur again, her room was being packed up and she had started to learn to look at where the steps met the wall. That helped her make her way up the stairs without freezing, even if she did still tremble. It was while she was practicing going up and down stairs that she heard her parents talking. Without thought she looked down at the floor to watch, she heard "We leave for the port tomorrow at dawn dear…" before she heard nothing else but the roaring. She was frozen, unable to move.
Her brother Anders was the one who found her. After he pulled her away he told her to look down, her first reply was "But I will fall." It took several minutes to convince her that she was fine. She hugged onto Anders all night, still not comprehending that the next morning, her life would change.
It had taken them seven days to reach the boat that would take them to the Yamani Islands. Kel stared at the impressive vessel. But her attention quickly focused on the people who had gathered to meet them and carry them across the Emerald Ocean. "Mama, what is wrong with them, they look like stone."
Her mother quietly explained, "They find it to be disrespectful to show emotions on their face. To be respectful to our hosts, Papa and I have been practicing every night. Just know Keladry, that while we are on the Islands, Papa and I might not show you our normal faces, but we will let you know how special you are."
Kel just nodded, still not quite understanding what she meant.
Later that day Kel felt overwhelmed, they were on the ship, but had yet to leave the port. She was surrounded by many unfamiliar faces, all of which were almost cold and stone like. When she first went to approach one of these new people, she found them replying in a strange language that she knew nothing about. And the blank face scared her into hiding behind her mother. But even there she found no true comfort as her mother's face was nearly as blank as theirs.
It was of some relief to the stressing Kel when they retired to their cabin and her parents let out a sigh of relief. Taking Kel into her arms, Ilane hugged Kel and asked "Sweetheart, remember what I told you earlier about Papa and I acting differently?" With Kel's nod she continued, "This is how things are going to be for a while now. You are going to have to learn how to control your face just like Papa and I did. I know that it is going to be difficult for you, but if you take the time to observe these new people, you will notice that they aren't as cold as you think. Look in their eyes. We are going to be on this ship for a while, so you will have plenty of time to learn before we reach the Islands."
"Yes Mama, I understand. But what am I going to do. My tummy feels upset. I have been like this since we got onto the ship, but I don't know what it is. Am I sick?"
Ilane laughed, "No, you will be just fine. I'll make you a tea that will help settle your tummy."
True to her mother's word, after taking the tea Kel felt better. Having thought over some of what her mother had said, Kel went outside and started to watch the strange people around her. As instructed by her mother, she looked up into their eyes and saw things that their faces didn't betray. Having a new found resolve, Kel began to try to imitate what she saw in hopes that when they reached this new place, she would at least be able to fit in better. But she could never fully prepare herself for what she saw once they had arrived.
It was as if all of Kel's preparations on the ship had been for nothing. While she was now able to understand a few of the Yamani words and passably speak them, any of the words she knew in the language could not be used to apply to this. The many hours that she took trying to make her face as blank as the people around her fell apart to one of utter awe.
They had finally arrived at the Imperial Palace on the Yamani Islands. And she had never dreamed that anything like it could be built. She had never seen a building with a hat on it before. Most buildings she had seen were a drab grey color, made of stone. This was far from a stone fortress. The walls looked curious to her. She could not figure out why. There were bright reds and a vivid gold color. There were dragons everywhere. Looking up at what she thought was the doorway, she saw very strange designs. Hanging from nearly every beam was a strange looking lamp.
If Kel was shocked at the sight of the Palace, then she was even more surprised by the clothing that she saw on the people. The sailors they had been traveling with had been wearing durable clothing that while having some differences from the clothing of Tortall where still not that different. Now, there was nothing she could compare it to. The women were wrapped up in stiff, colorful fabrics with intricate designs, walking in shuffled steps. Their faces were painted white with small bits of red occasionally. Their long black hair was worn straight.
They continued to be lead through the Palace. They were stopped in front of what looked to be a wall. To Kel's utter amazement the wall was suddenly being pushed aside by two men. There seated upon a throne was a man like Kel had never seen before. He was wearing what appeared to be a long robe in a rich red color with golden trim. Pictures of dragons were stitched on the sleeves. He had a long beard and mustache. There was an odd hat on his head.
Kel was still staring at this man when she heard her family called forward, her mother leading her by her hand. The stopped before the throne and Kel bowed just as she had been instructed to on the boat when her mother did. Her forehead was fully on the ground and her back was curved over her legs. It was very different than any of the bows she had seen in Tortall. When they had been practicing, she had asked her father why it was so different, but he had not been able to answer her question to her satisfaction.
Shortly after this Kel and her mother and sisters were led away to their new housing, her father led to a different chamber to begin what they were there for. That was the first time Kel beheld the Emperor, and it would be a long time before she faced him again.
It took them a week to finally settle into their new housing. Kel had found the space odd. She learned that the walls were made of paper after she accidently knocked over one of the family's statues and it went through. She was at first confused by the low table but quickly adjusted to this new form of taking meals on the floor. Overall she realized reviewing her life that adjusting to the new space was easier than she would have thought. But what wasn't easy was approaching the other children of her age.
In an attempt to socialize a young Kel her parents dropped her off at a nursery during a social event they had to attend. She stood there looking around the room she found herself in. When she was finished she finally looked to the other youngsters in the room. Their faces were practically as blank as the adults that had dropped them off. But in their eyes Kel could see the hostility they had towards her. Feeling that she would make a better impression if she greeted them respectfully, Kel bowed to them as her parents had taught her, and in her stunted Yamani she stated, "I am Keladry of Mindelan. I am honored to meet you."
When Kel looked up, her heart dropped. The eyes of the other children had hardened even more. She began to hear whisperings. But she could not understand what they were saying. But even without knowing the exact words being said, their eyes said it all, Kel was not wanted.
As new children were brought into the room Kel tried again, hoping that these newer children would at least give her a chance. But as soon as she would try to approach, one of the other children would beat her to them and start whispering in their ears. Eventually Kel just gave up trying.
It was when she started playing with some unused toys in the corner that the first child even approached her. Looking up with hope that she would finally have a friend to play with, Kel met the face of an older boy. When he had her attention, he started to talk to her in rapid Yamani. When he got no response, he quickly pulled the toy out of a stunned Kel's hands and stated in Common, "Stupid foreigner! These toys are not for the likes of you." He then pushed her on the ground before leaving her to wonder what just happened.
This routine happened three more times before Kel gave up trying to find something to play with. She spent the remaining time tucked in a corner, her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her knees. She refused to cry with these children around her. She stayed there in that position until she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she peaked out from behind her hair worried that it was yet another child trying to make fun of her, she saw her mother was there with questions in her eyes. Kel slowly got up and followed her mother out of the room, never looking up from her feet.
Once they had reached their rooms, Kel finally broke down and cried. As she was hiccupping, she told her parents everything that happened to her. Once calm, she looked up to see them looking at each other, wordlessly coming to a decision.
"Kel," her father started, "we can do nothing to help you. If we tell their parents, they will just become more hostile towards you."
Her mother continued, "You will just have to try to show them that you are someone worth getting to know. And one of the things you can do is work on your "mask". Try thinking of a calm lake without any wind. When something unpleasant happens, remember that, it should help keep your face blank. And remember sweetheart, you can always speak with your eyes."
Kel kept that in her heart from that point on. When the other children started to pick on her, she thought of a calm lake.
Dom had once again left Kel's side in the healers. He had been kept busy for another hour after the arrival of Numair and Daine. When he finally had a chance to go to her side he had looked down at her for a few moments before he quickly sighed as he sat down. He had sat there for gods know how long before he finally got up and left her, never saying a word, just holding her hand and quietly praying to all the gods he could think of to have her back.
He blinked as the bright sunlight hit his eyes. Taking in the sun's position, he decided that he had spent an hour in the tent with Kel. For a moment Dom stood outside the tent trying to decide what to do. Deciding that he would check his horses, Dom made his way lazily over to the area they were tethered, stopping occasionally to chat to some of the men, all of whom offered their congratulation on his promotion. His old squad in particular had a lot to say. They practically whined when he promoted Wolset into his old position of sergeant. One of the men called out "Now he's going to be more insufferable than before!" To which they all laughed, including Wolset.
Finally pulling himself away from the men, he made it into the area where the horses were. As he neared his horses, he couldn't help but notice that most of the horses were in a large cluster towards the middle, most of them as far as their tethers would allow. He smiled, that could only mean the Wildmage was here.
He walked towards the crowded area and sure enough he found her talking mind-to-mind with the horses. "What are they telling you?" He couldn't help but ask her, highly curious of what they had to say after all that had been happening over the past two months.
Daine looked up almost startled, and then she smiled. "Hello Sergeant…Domitan isn't it? The one who followed Kel into Scanra?"
Dom laughed, "Actually it is captain as of today, and yes, I followed Kel."
Daine nodded before she turned back to look at the horses. "They say they are happy for this rest. If it wasn't for the fact that I know Raoul never pushes more than he needs to I probably would go scold him. But they have been reassuring me they are fine. They have also been telling me of your adventures on this mission."
Dom nodded, and then remembering that she wasn't watching him he spoke, "Yeah, it has been difficult." He paused before he spoke, "Have you seen Peachblossom and Hoshi yet? I'm sure they are worried about Kel."
Daine gave him a soft smile, "I see they aren't the only ones. I'm sure she's going to be fine, the Gods do everything for a reason, most of the time." She grimaced remembering her own ill-fated interaction with a particular Goddess. She stood up and dusted off her breeches.
They walked in silence towards the back of the picket area. Once they had made it past the inquiring horses, which took a while as Daine wished to check them over, Dom almost froze at the sight that awaited them. Peachblossom and Hoshi stood closer together than he had ever seen the testy horsy stand to any other horse. Riding on their back, well if they were moving, were the sparrows. Lying lazily at their feet and looking utterly depressed was Jump. They didn't even look up when Daine approached them.
"This will take some time to set them right." He heard Daine mutter. She sighed before turning to Dom. "Would you mind staying to help? You've seen her more than I have, so you can tell them better."
Dom looked into her hopeful eyes then back to the misfit group of animals that waited before them. He nodded. "What do you need me to do?"
She gave him a slight smile, "Just talk to them, I will be filtering out my magic so as to reach them. They are lost. I take it that Lady Kel has never taken this much of a beating?"
Dom frowned as he thought back to the injuries that he knew of. "The closest one was when we pulled her out of the castle in Scanra. Even then, besides the blood loss, none of us were this helpless. Neal patched her up, she woke up in a reasonable amount of time and began to move about to check on the others. The whole time she was out, she had her color returning slowly, but definitely, and she would occasionally stir slightly without waking. As of right now, she has hardly had any color return, and there has been absolutely no stirring. She's just been lying there, as if she's just a shell."
Dom had by now completely forgotten that he was talking to anybody, two-legger or people. He also had not realized that he had tears streaming down his cheeks. He had been suppressing some of these feelings since he had first seen Kel on the field, fighting for her life, then dead to the world in his arms.
"The healers have done all that they can to mend her. The arrow has been removed, wounds healed, bruises faded, everything is in perfect working order, but she is still lost. We have no powerful healer here to try to find her."
He felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw a pair of blue-gray eyes looking at him intently. "I think this has helped. Not just the People, but also you." She gave him a small smile. He looked around at the animals who had attached themselves to his Kel. They had more light in their eyes. They had begun movement once more. To his utter surprise, Peachblossom even butted his shoulder with his head. Dom hesitantly patted his head. He was so focused on the gelding that he nearly yelped when Jump laid his head in his lap. When he peaked at his shoulders, he saw that several sparrows had landed on him without his notice.
"She was riding Hoshi when it happened. According to her, Kel was twitching like a new born foal in the first wind. Jump and the sparrows helped as best they could to protect her from attackers. Kel had barely been unhorsed when Peachblossom got there to protect her. They had been in the fight for several minutes before your half of the company arrived. They all feel as if they failed her. The sparrows felt even worse, they gave no warning that the attack was going to happen." Daine explained to him. "Now that they know how she is, they will be a tad better. Only Kel coming to them will fully pull them out."
Dom nodded his understanding. "It will also help me." He petted Jump as he thought.
He was pulled out of them when Daine got up. "They say that they will follow you till she's up. With the way you have been mate-pairing with their two-legger, they feel that you are part of their…" She stopped suddenly with a frown.
AN: Sorry for the long delay between chapters, but it is now crunch time in school. I was expecting some time to write during my spring break, but between a mandatory field trip down to Santa Cruz and then spending 4 days in Portland I didn't even have the time to do my school work! But I cannot say that I in any way regret how I spent my spring break as I managed to find a brand new copy of the first edition of Wild Magic! I will finish this story, I know that it appears to be frozen in time, but I promise that all of Kel's memories are leading up to something. As far as my maths go, I have 3 more chapters of Kel's memories. (It may end up being more depending on how many tangents I go off on as I plan on only having 5 major memories per session.)