.
Hearts Joined
"Quick, where and when is the wedding?" Betty demanded, racing towards the open door of her husband's limo and climbing swiftly into it. She looked around at the others present and blinked blankly at the awkward silence all around. Will, Killigan, and Jack had picked up Fukushima, Monique, Monkey Fist, and Yori from the park last night, she knew, and given how incredibly awkward everyone looked today, she'd take it things hadn't gone well. She frowned a bit, unimpressed. "What happened?" she asked.
"Nothing happened!" Monkey Fist immediately replied almost before she'd stopped speaking.
"Riiight," Dr. Director said. She looked back to Jack and Killigan. "Wedding. What's the sitch?" she asked.
"Tonight, lassie, but the location es en a villain hotspot," Killigan replied. "Ah'm no' so keen on leadin' heroes to et's location."
"Easily remedied," Monkey Fist said, still feeling like he had a hangover. Not that he'd ever had one before. He certainly couldn't be bothered polluting his body and mind with binge amounts of alcohol, but from the stories he'd heard, this more or less matched up.
"Aye," Killigan agreed, catching on and grinning cruelly. Pulling out a remote, he pressed a button and suddenly metal restraints popped out from the seats and wrapped tightly around the heroes say for Fukushima! They all gasped in alarm.
"Hey! Let us go!" Will protested, scowling at Killigan, Monkey Fist, and Jack.
"Sorry laddie, but we canno' betray every haven t' ye', can we?" Killigan said, grinning coldly and pulling out a blindfold. Clearly, he and Monkey Fist had been planning this. Deftly the golfer blindfolded the young agent, then Monique. Monkey Fist went for Fukushima, who gasped in alarm and looked to the Monkey Lord with hurt and uncertainty in his eyes. Needless to say, it paused the nobleman. "Yer goin' soft, Monkey Boy," Killigan bit, moving over and blindfolding Fukushima himself.
"I am not going soft!" Monkey Fist insisted, snatching a blindfold and covering the eyes of a surprisingly compliant and silent Yori. For a moment he was almost reluctant to do it before catching his thoughts and chastising himself vehemently, ensuring he tied it extra tightly. She hissed in pain. He harrumphed, unapologetic.
"Why isn't Fukushima bound?!" Will demanded angrily.
"Because Fukushima we can trust not to remove the blindfold," Monkey Fist bit, frowning at the young agent.
"Are ye' sure, laddie?" Killigan asked, frowning at his friend.
"Oh, I'm quite certain of it," Monkey Fist replied. Though they weren't completely sure what he meant by that, they got the gist. Fukushima's heart was divided. Hirotaka knew it, Monkey Fist knew it, and they knew it. Because of this, there was no question in Lord Fiske's mind that the boy would keep the blindfold on.
Betty looked on in shock and turned to Jack in disbelief, eyes wide and a little uncertain. "Jack?" she tentatively asked.
"Ooh, sorry honey," he said with a cold and amused glint in his eyes and a matching smirk on his face. "Nothing personal, but client confidentiality and all that." Betty's eyes narrowed dangerously. Oh, they would definitely be having a 'talk' later. Nonetheless, she didn't fight back as Monkey Fist blindfolded her.
"Jack, you're a dead man, do you hear me? Dead!" Will shouted furiously. "You total creep! You seriously wonder why I couldn't stand you?!"
"Gag him," Jack ordered simply as he looked down, masking the hurt and guilt that sprang to his eyes. He hated to do this, he really did, but he had little choice.
"Gladly," Monkey Fist said, gagging the boy.
"Uncalled for, Hench, uncalled for," Betty coldly growled.
"Ye' want a gag as well, lassie?" Killigan asked. The golfer cried out in pain as Will head-butted him. "Ach, ye wee lettle pest!" Killigan snapped, going at the young agent and wrapping his hands around the boy's throat, squeezing hard. Will choked in surprise as the man began to strangle him.
"Will!" Betty exclaimed in alarm, starting to thrash.
"Killigan!" Jack sharply barked. The golfer ignored him, focused on murder. "Son of a bi…" Jack began before unbuckling his seatbelt and lunging, seizing the golfer and yanking him off the boy. Will began coughing and gasping for breath. Jack roughly slammed the golfer back into the seat and leaned menacingly over him, eyes glittering with murder and fury. "You listen to me, little man, and you listen well. If you ever pull a stunt like that on my son again, I will personally ensure the next batch of golf balls, explosive ingredients, and weapons you order has a very unfortunate and fatal malfunction! Understood?!"
Killigan was silent, gawking at Jack in shock. The others were just as stunned. Frankly, Duff hadn't known the man had it in him. Begrudgingly he had to confess that his respect for Hench had just increased, and it had already been high as was. Nonetheless, he looked to Monkey Fist accusingly and expectantly. Monkey Fist shrugged, smirking mockingly. Frankly, he was enjoying this little show. Killigan thought he could call him soft, did he? Well, look where the golfer was now.
Jack let Duff go and turned his attention to his son. Kneeling in front of Will, he carefully began examining the bruising on his child's neck with a dark expression on his face. He felt the boy's heart pounding in fear... "Better you learn the lesson from someone I can control than from someone I can't," Jack darkly said to his son before taking a bag of ice out of the minifridge, buckling in next to the boy, and pressing it gently against Will's bruised throat. "Your mother has a balm you can use on these. Apply it when you get back home," he added coldly, unimpressed with his son's reckless actions towards Killigan. Surprisingly enough, Will was silent. He'd expected the boy to try and be cursing him out through the gag, but he wasn't. He would have been worried the young man was unconscious, except he could see Will trying to work the gag out of his mouth and the blindfold off of his eyes. No one commented again as the limo made for the destination in question.
KP
"Shego, you look gorgeous!" Amy gushed, she, Camille, and Adrena helping their fellow villainess with her wedding dress. "Ooh I just knew Drakky poo and you would be together forever and always."
"Y-yeah," Shego replied, eyes flickering a bit with emotion. She was a little scared, she had to admit. This was a huge step to be taking. She was talking bigger than her deciding to leave Team Go. Bigger than deciding to help save the world. Bigger than anything.
"It'll be perfect, Shego," Camille said, hugging her. Shego blinked and frowned, but nonetheless allowed the contact.
"A total dream," Adrena backed. Seeing as Mama Lipsky had insisted Ed be Drakken's best man—Drew had been torn between Monkey Fist and Killigan, so his mother had offered a compromise—Adrena had been named Maid of Honor. Because Killigan and Monkey Fist were groomsmen, they needed to be paired off with bridesmaids. That was where Amy and Camille came in.
"Now, makeup time," Camille said. Shego rolled her eyes. Fine, she'd let the other three have their fun.
KP
Meanwhile, Drakken was pacing agitatedly. "Nrrgh, where are Monkey Fist and Killigan?" he anxiously asked.
"Update cuz, they're on their way. Seriously," Ed said, having just gotten off the phone with Jack Hench.
"About time!" Drakken shot.
"Right. Now listen 'Dr.' Drakken, we need to have a talk," Hego said, distracted and highly uncomfortable in this crowd of villains.
"Oh no," Drakken groaned before looking over to Shego's four brothers, all of which looked protective and even dangerous, somehow. "What?" he asked testily, knowing already where this was going and wanting it over and done with.
"If you ever, ever hurt our sister," Hego said.
"Hurt Shego? Oh, I could never ever do that," Drakken said, dreamily looking up at the roof. He meant that literally. Unless he did some quick and fancy work with his vines, she would lay him flat in seconds if he tried. Not that he ever would.
"Right but if you do, Team Go will be there," Hego said.
"If she marries him, she lives with the consequences," Mego said, rolling his eyes. Why was he here? He wasn't even part of the wedding party!
"Don't touch our sister!" Wego One ordered.
"If you do you'll be in trouble," Wego Two threatened.
"Oh really? What can you do?" Drakken sneered. He gasped as suddenly the room was filled with Wego clones. Drakken twitched and grinned innocently. "Oh, hundreds of you. Point taken." The Wego clones disappeared, and Drakken sighed in relief.
KP
"Killigan and I may be able to slow up the wedding enough for you to reach Drakken in time with the antidote," Monkey Fist said to Hench. The heroes too, he supposed, though he'd much rather they stayed out of the way.
"And if you can't?" Hench asked.
"Then et's goin' t' be an awkward marriage, and a very awkward talk between Drakken, Shego, and Mama Lipsky," Killigan replied grimly. The car came to a stop outside of the location. Jack wiped the GPS path just in case Betty got any ideas - which she would - then nodded at Killigan and Monkey Fist. They nodded back and leapt out of the car, dressed in suits. They raced towards the field where the wedding would take place. Killigan pointed at the building where the bride and groom would be getting ready. Monkey Fist nodded and the two made for Drakken's dressing room. Jack set to work unblindfolding and ungagging the heroes.
KP
"Drakken!" Monkey Fist and Killigan exclaimed, leaping through the door of Drakken's dressing room.
"You have to know something!" Monkey Fist exclaimed.
"Finally you two are here! It's about time. Come on, let's get this wedding started already. Mother's getting antsy. She believes Shego is going to walk out on me," Drakken said, grabbing his two friends and pulling them outside, Ed right behind.
"Drew, ye' do no' understand!" Killigan exclaimed in panic. Clearly trying to stall was going to be a bust. He looked around at the many villains gathered to watch the ceremony.
"Cut the chatter, Killigan," Drakken ordered. Before the two could even blink, they were lined up and the music Shego would walk down the aisle to was playing.
KP
"You're putting it in wrong!" Betty insisted.
"I know what I'm doing," Jack insisted.
"It's backward. Give me that!" Betty shot. "At the rate you're going, it'll take all day."
"I can handle it," he hissed.
"Oh for the love of Pete!" Will exclaimed.
"Oh no," Fukushima, who was on watch, said, stiffening.
"Oh what now?" Monique asked.
"Killigan and Monkey Fist have failed. The wedding is proceeding!" Fukushima replied.
"Give me that!" Betty shot, snatching the device they would use to shoot the antidote at the Cupid Ray victims, away from Jack. She took the vials and quickly put them in properly. "See? I told you so."
"We're not doing this right now, Betty," Jack warned.
"Why not? Apparently we had all the time in the world!" she snapped.
"I will enter Shego's dressing room and deliver the antidote to her," Yori said, holding out her hands for the Anti-Cupid Ray. Betty handed if over and Yori crawled quickly into the vents, scrambling towards where Shego's dressing room would be.
"See what you did?" Jack asked.
"Me?! Look who's talking!" Betty sneered.
"Oh will you two give it a rest?" Will demanded.
"Quiet, Will. Mom and dad are having a talk," Jack shot sharply.
"A talk? This is an outright fight," Monique dryly said to Fukushima. He nodded.
"You're upsetting him!" Betty protested, pointing at their son.
"I'm upsetting him? You're upsetting him!" Jack defended.
"You're doing it again, see?! He doesn't need to hear his parents fighting like this, Jack," Betty argued.
"Well he'll get used to it!" Jack replied.
"How can you be so insensitive?" Betty demanded.
"We're not doing this right now, honey!" Jack retorted.
"Shut up!" Will yelled.
Down in the yard the villains looked around. "Did you hear something?" Frugal Lucre asked Dementor, who was next to him. Dementor shrugged. They listened a moment but were met with silence.
"Probably just the wind," Gemini said, shrugging it off.
Meanwhile, Yori reached the vent above Shego's dressing room and leapt down into it. She gasped. Shego was gone! Which meant she was heading for the aisle. Quickly entering it again and returning to the others, she said, "Shego is already on the move!"
"Oh great," Monique groaned. They raced for the door and began navigating the building, trying to find their way out.
KP
Whispering began to ripple through the audience. The bride was coming! They all turned to look back. There appeared Shego in a beautiful wedding dress! Not something like from a movie or fairy tale, white and poofy like that, but a gown styled green and black, and designed to fit Shego's personality exactly. To say it suited her was an understatement. Drakken's mouth dropped. Killigan and Monkey Fist gaped in disbelief. Shego gave a sly and wicked wink to her husband-to-be. Drakken almost collapsed. Luckily, Eddie managed to catch and steady him.
KP
"Hurry, we must reach them in time!" Yori exclaimed.
"We'll never make it," Betty said, looking into a monitor of the lawn. Shego was halfway down the grassy aisle!
"Oh this is so bad," Will said.
KP
"We are gathered here today to witness the unity of two very wicked people," the conductor of ceremonies declared. Of course, Drakken and Shego hardly heard him, too busy gazing adoringly into each other's eyes. "Who gives this woman away?"
"I do, Hego Go," Hego said, though his hold on his sister's arm was almost crushing. He didn't want to give her away! She was his sister!
Shego tried to pull free but found she couldn't. She started and frowned at Hego. "Okay, I know you have the whole 'Big Brother protectiveness' thing going on, but you have three seconds to let my arm go before I blast you, Hego!" Hego winced but obeyed. Shego smiled at him and almost as an afterthought gave his arm a squeeze, eyes becoming… he didn't know. There was some form of understanding and reassurance deep within them. He wasn't sure how to explain it really. He swallowed painfully, feeling tears threaten his eyes, and smiled at her, bending forward and kissing her cheek. It was her wedding, so odds were she'd let it slide. Luckily for him, he was right, only feeling a slight burn and seeing her eyes glitter as she frowned.
The ceremony went on, the guests blissfully unaware of what was happening.
KP
"Dead end!" Monique exclaimed as they reached another wall.
"This cannot be happening," Fukushima said with a groan. "It is like a maze!"
KP
Monkey Fist and Killigan, meanwhile, were biting their nails in panic. The others would never make it in time at this rate! "Do you, Drew Theodore Lipsky, take Shego Go to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the man asked.
"I-I do," Drakken said in awe, feeling like he was in a dream. If so, he never wanted to wake up from it.
"Do you, Shego Go, take Drew Theodore Lipsky to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the man asked.
"What do you think?" she demanded, impatient. She wanted to get this done so they could kiss and be married already.
"If anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," the man said.
"I do, not that anyone cares," Mego grumbled from the front row. Shego scowled viciously at him, lighting her hand. He rolled his eyes, backing off.
KP
"He ain't the only one with an objection! We object, we object, this ain't even real!" Monique exclaimed to the others as they were desperately trying to find their way down to the yard. By now it was obvious, though, that they were too late.
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the minister said. Shego leapt into Drakken's arms, kissing him passionately. Drakken held her tightly back.
"Oh no," Monkey Fist groaned.
"Well this esn't good," Killigan said. Maybe they should have spoken up at the objection part.
KP
The duo watched helplessly as Drakken and Shego signed the papers. "The reception will be held at 8:00 PM in Drakken's lair," the master of ceremonies said.
Shego, currently being hugged by DNAmy, Camille, and Adrena, was soon pulled away and held tightly by her brothers. Less so Mego, though it was obvious he still wanted to. Drakken turned to Killigan and Monkey Fist excitedly. "Can you believe it?! Shego and I are married!"
"Oh, uh, no. No we cannot," Monkey Fist answered. Drakken looked confused. "I mean yes!" he quickly covered. "Of-of course we can. Everyone saw it coming! Eventually. Not quite like this of course, but eventually."
"Aye, et was bound t' happen, but did et have t' happen while ye' two were under the effects o' the Cupid Ray? Do ye' know what'll happen when yer fixed, laddie?" Killigan asked.
"Oh please, like we'll regret it even then," Drakken replied, brushing the concern off. He and Shego climbed into the hovercraft and took off into the air. Killigan and Monkey Fist exchanged helpless looks. They had better find the others stat. Oh those heroes were going to get an earful.
Later
"How could you have possibly been so delayed?" Monkey Fist demanded of Jack, Betty, Will, Monique, Yori, and Fukushima.
"That place is a labyrinth!" Will defended. "Why didn't you two object?!"
"Are ye' daft, laddie? We'd have had the entire villain community plus Team Go on our tails!" Killigan replied.
"Well now what?" Monique asked.
"Now we get them at the reception," Jack stated. "And this time we won't be late."
"We'll be too late to save them from the awkward," Betty dryly said.
"What do you mean?" Yori questioned.
"We will be too late to spare them the fate you and Monkey Fist were spared," Fukushima flatly said. Yori and Monkey Fist started and blushed deeply on being reminded of the near lovemaking session they'd had before Yori had put a stop to it.
"Wi' Drakken and Shego, there'll be no holdin' back. They've been toyin' wi' this far years now," Killigan said.
"Then maybe it won't be so bad!" Monique said.
"Stubborn pride, Miss Jones. Stubborn pride," Monkey Fist flatly said.
KP
Drakken lay back on the bed beneath Shego, the two sharing a tender kiss. She grinned, pulling away, and nuzzled him. "Mmm, you're good at that," she said. She still couldn't get over just how naturally it came to him.
"You really think so? It's honestly just my natural instinct, although…" he began.
"Dr. D, zip the lips. No tangents tonight. Only us," she said, unbuttoning his tuxedo. He blinked then caught on, eyes lighting up.
"Ooh, you are a vixen," he growled softly. She grinned wickedly. He took her and rolled her over, laying her beneath him. Not that he'd have the dominant position for long, but for now he was very much enjoying it as he reached behind her and unzipped her dress. In a matter of moments, there was no part of her hidden from his sight and there was no part of him hidden from hers. She grinned softly and giggled, which he found cute as well as intriguing because Shego never giggled. Well, during the Moodulator incident she had, and when he'd had her under mind control, and when she'd been hit with the Attitudinator, but still!
She rolled over on top of him and kissed him adoringly. "Mmm, I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he replied. Thank goodness he'd had the foresight to send the Henchmen away. This was their time, and by the gods, they would enjoy every second of it. Right up until they had to start preparing to go to the reception. She eased herself onto him and he moaned in pleasure, wrapping his arms around her. Soon enough they were melting into each other's embrace.
KP
They waited for the bride and groom to show up. Jack had had to both bribe and make some pretty big promises to even get Monique, Yori, Betty, and Will inside. Monkey Fist hadn't had much trouble securing Fukushima's admission. The only thing he'd really had to say was that the boy had been a traitor and he was welcomed with open arms. The ninja was unsure whether to be chagrined or flattered. "Here they come," Monique said, pointing at the door. Sure enough, Drakken and Shego swept in.
Killigan and Monkey Fist immediately realized what had happened, given the way the newlyweds were beaming at one another. "Ach, we're too late," Killigan said. "Drew'll need the protection o' the army when Shego catches on, let alone us."
"This ends now," Betty stated, drawing the raygun with the antidotes in it. "The minute the first dance between bride and groom starts, I'll fire."
"Very well," Monkey Fist agreed.
Drakken and Shego swept onto the floor beaming at each other. Betty took aim but then hesitated a bit. She hated to do this, really she did. They looked so happy. For a moment her resolve was shaken.
"Give me that," Monkey Fist snapped, snatching it.
"Oh please, ye' could no' hit the broadside o' a barn wi' a canon. Stick wi' yer spears," Killigan said.
"Excuse me?!" Monkey Fist demanded, insulted. "I'll have you know I can in fact shoot!"
"Well?" Killigan challenged.
Monkey Fist's eye twitched as he remembered hunts with his father when he had been a teenager. He grimaced a bit. With the way he'd shot, he'd been more likely to kill the other hunters than the prey. He handed the gun over to the golfer grumbling. Humph, his father should have just let him bring spears on hunts. Well, eventually the man had, and the first day it had been permitted, Monkey Fist had proudly taken down an attacking bear with a single thrust to save his father. His father had never let him touch another gun again, but he'd been permitted all the spears he wanted on hunts from that day on.
"We need a trained shot, not a golfer," Will hissed.
"Ah can manage," Killigan replied.
"We can't afford a mess up! Mom and I are better suited to shoot it," Will protested.
"How about I end this debate now?" Jack asked, snatching the ray, taking aim as Drakken was dipping Shego, then firing. The shot kept true and Will gaped in shock. Smirking, Jack handed the ray back. "What can I say? I deal with weapons on a regular basis, son. I make sure I know how to use them. Could shoot a hummingbird out of the sky," Jack boasted.
Will looked at Betty in disbelief. She shrugged. "He's right. Your father is one of the best shots I've seen," his mother said. Will turned back to Jack, eyes wide.
KP
Shego and Drakken cried out as they felt the impact of darts burying deep into their skin. The guests gasped. The antidote worked quickly and effectively. The newlyweds shook their heads and paled, looking down at each other in horror, disgust, and terror. "Shego!" Drakken exclaimed in fear, inwardly panicking on remembering everything.
"Keep dancing!" she ordered. Quickly, numbly, Drakken pulled her up and obeyed. The two clung to each other in shock.
"What do we do?" Drakken tensely asked.
"We divorce!" she hissed furiously, kicking herself over and over again. Ugh, she wanted to rip out her eyes! And her heart for that matter!
"Are you insane? That would kill my mother!" Drakken protested.
"Being married to you will kill me!" she replied.
"Oh please. You're nothing if not resilient," he bit.
"Drakken!" she shot. She suddenly gasped. "Oh gods. We had…"
"Nrrgh, don't," Drakken begged.
"And we liked it!" she exclaimed, now starting to freak out.
"Shego!" he shot. "Snap out of it, please. Ixnay on the istakemay." He grinned innocently at his mother, who was watching them suspiciously.
"What, so we're just supposed to stay married so Mama Lipsky doesn't keel over and die?" Shego demanded.
"Preferably yes!" Drakken shot. "When she kicks the bucket you can have your divorce, but not a moment before."
"Drakken," she growled, hands lighting up.
"I'll increase your paycheck by two hundred dollars!" he exclaimed desperately.
She started, freezing and considering this. "Humph. Fine. We'll stay married. But no more touchy-feely in bed! And no kissy face! Nothing changes! As far as anyone knows, we're the same as always."
"Deal," he desperately agreed.
"And one more thing! If I end up pregnant after today's, ugh 'love making,' you're fried like chicken, got it?" she growled. He blinked at her in horror then grinned innocently.
KP
"No way," Kim said in awe as they heard Fukushima, Yori, Monique, Betty, and Will's stories.
"You almost had, well, that, with Monkey Fist?!" Ron exclaimed, looking at Yori.
"I am afraid so," Yori answered, shamefully bowing her head. What she refused to admit under any circumstances, though, was that part of her was still curious as to what it would have been like...
"And Drakken and Shego are still married?" Kim asked, still trying to wrap her head around it.
"For Mama Lipsky's sake, they really didn't have much choice," Betty said. "Fair warning, if you ever call them man and wife, they'll make you regret it."
"And Monique and Fukushima are finally an item!" Amelia exclaimed happily.
"We are not!" they protested.
They exchanged looks, winced, then looked back at the others. "We are merely… experimenting with the courting process," Fukushima lamely said.
"Dating," Amelia said, grinning wickedly.
"Experimenting!" Monique insisted.
"You're in it for the keeps," Kim teased, nudging Monique.
"Kim!" Monique shot. "Girl, we do not have to listen to this." Kim put up her hands in a pacifying gesture.
"It sounds as if we missed out on quite a lot," Hirotaka remarked.
"You have no idea," Will said, smirking at Fukushima and Monique knowingly. They smirked back.
END