A/N: Hello dearies! I apologize again for the short chapter last time, but here's a decently long one for you, as promised. Also, you, my lovely, lovely reviewers, have convinced me to write a sequel to Regret. One of you even went so far as to threaten to cry if I didn't, and I just can't have my readers crying all over the place, spreading awful rumors about me being a meanie, so I simply must comply. I already have it outlined in my head and even started writing some of it just to get the really important scenes done. I'm super excited about it and I think ya'll will love it. Anywho, onto the reviews! And thank you again to everyone who gives me feedback, whether it be one word or one hundred!
theonethatlived - Nope! It's still not over! Harry and Ron haven't even come onto the scene yet! But even then there's still lots to come. Don't worry, I'll let you all know when it's over, so if I don't say anything about it being done, then you can assume there's another chappie coming!
WickedCharm - Thank you! I'm so glad you like it! Here's another chappie for you!
summerful21 - Thank you so much for your detailed feedback! Snape is only in on it because he happened to get roped into it at its conception, but you'll see more of that later. Honestly, I don't think there's a truly original Dramione plot left. The only thing that's left to do is make the same plot better in other ways or mix and match plot devices until something interesting happens. All those phases, as you put it, need to happen one way or another to make a couple like Dramione work realistically, but you're right. It's terribly clichéd at this point. I still love it, though. Thank you! I try to keep them as realistic as possible, but I also allow myself to have a little fun, too, by putting them in interesting situations. Ah, yes, the guide. My only defense for that is the following: I hope this is obvious, but the guide at the top of the chapters is actually Professor Morgana's little red book that Hermione refuses to read and subsequently forgets. So, yes, it makes all sorts of generalizations about Malfoys that most likely aren't true across the board. The idea is that it's Morwena's diary of her courtship with Titus, so she's jealous and bitter with a healthy dose of blunt pretty much throughout, as she's competing with so many other witches for his attention. In other words, it isn't a universal guide as much as Morwena's opinions about Malfoys in general. But I just really liked the idea that, for all her complaining about not understanding Draco, the one book Hermione refuses to read is the one book that would help her do that.
~~~\~~~
Step 9: Leave Him Wanting More
Now that your Malfoy is growing complacent in his victory, it's time to mix it up again. For any normal male, this would be the part where you make the idiot realize how much he is in love with you and live happily ever after. But of course, Malfoys have to be obstinately difficult out of sheer principle. He may or may not make you aware of it, but at this point he wants to keep you in his life because he isn't through with you yet. It is the perfect time to leave him. Even if he has given you a hint as to his attachment to you, he is likely avoiding his desire to commit. If he is committing already, it is only out of necessity because he has something to gain from it, the greedy pig. As such, the next step is to force him to commit to you because he wants you and no other. Again, the precise reason why you don't want him anymore is up to you; just make it convincing and he'll know the true meaning of loss. Let him stew for as long as you dare and then make yourself available again. He'll come running like a trained dog, determined to stay by your side. He is, after all, still a male, and no heterosexual wizard can deny the witch of his dreams when she is once again within reach.
~~~\~~~
Hermione!
This is to let you know that my team lost, and as you read this I am settling back into Grimmauld Place. Harry and Ron are still in, so it will be just us girls for the near future. Speaking of which, I hope you have your schedule cleared because tomorrow you and I are going to have a girls day out. I'm willing to bet you've barely stepped foot out of your laboratory in ages so it'll be good for you to get out and about. Feel free to stop over today if you get bored, of course. Merlin knows once I'm done unpacking I'll be bored out of my mind. Scratch that. I demand you come over today, unless perhaps you are entertaining some male company? I want to hear every juicy detail! Otherwise I'm setting you up with some friends of mine because you deserve a hunk of a wizard who actually uses his brain, too.
Speaking of stunning wizards, you wouldn't believe the rumor we heard the other day! Some crone swore up and down that she saw you out and about with Draco Malfoy of all people in Diagon Alley. She was absolutely convinced that you two were a couple, but don't worry. We know she's bonkers. You'd never waste your time on a git like him. Besides, Lavender Brown interviewed him just recently, and he made it very clear he wasn't dating anyone exclusively. But I have to admit, he's attractive enough that even I'd consider an offer from him. I'd turn it down, naturally, because you know how much I love Harry, but I imagine he would tempt any available female, even someone as stubborn as you.
In any case, we have so much to talk about and I can't wait to spend loads of time with you!
See you in a bit!
Gin
Hermione stared at the letter, wide-eyed. She hadn't even considered the fact that people had seen them that day in Diagon Alley, what they would think. Thankfully, Draco had apparently smoothed it over with the interview she had prompted, but it was just one more example of how being around him made her irrational. He was like an electrical impulse that scattered her brain's normal thought patterns. It made her more determined to stay away so she could act like herself again.
It was a miracle that only Ginny was coming home, just when she needed someone to spill her guts to without worrying it would get back to Harry and Ron. Ginny wouldn't be able to owl them, just like Hermione hadn't been able to, so once Ginny got over the shock that, yes, Hermione Granger actually had been shagging Draco Malfoy, she could help think of a permanent solution.
Maybe, now that Ginny was back, she could move into Grimmauld Place? Surely Ginny would want some company since she'd be pining away until Harry got back. Yes, she was going to ask to move back in today. The sooner she put some distance between herself and Draco, the better.
"Is that from Potter, or one of the Weasels?" Draco drawled from the doorway.
On instinct, Hermione whirled around and crumpled the letter in her fist, holding it behind her back. Sure, she looked incredibly suspicious doing it, but she wasn't ready to talk about her friends with him yet.
Predictably, his eyes narrowed, focused on the hand behind her back. The bloody observant git didn't miss a thing.
"It's from Ginny," she said, as normally as possible.
"And you're hiding it behind your back because..." he prompted.
"You startled me," she supplied. "I'm not used to anyone walking in on me reading my letters. They're personal."
Almost immediately she wished she could take back the last part. His eyebrow rose in interest. Dammit! Now he wanted to know what was so important to hide from him. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Hermione!
He slowly approached her. "Oh? And what did the Weaselette have to say?"
She gulped. "I told you, it's personal."
She wasn't entirely sure why she didn't want him to read it. It was partly because Ginny had written about him, obviously, but she also knew it was more than that. There was some other issue her brain was too muddled to articulate at the moment.
All she could think about was her increased heart rate, and the anticipation building in her abdomen. Merlin, all he was doing was walking toward her and she was already turned on. Granted, he was looking very much the predator, but she didn't think he was thinking about sex this time. She really needed to get away from him. Otherwise she was afraid she'd pounce on him like a positive charge seeking a negative.
"So personal that you won't even let your boyfriend see it?" he persuaded.
She frowned, snapping out of the sexual haze. "You're not my boyfriend."
That stopped him. "Aren't I?"
"No." The word alone gave her the strength to think clearly. "You made it very clear to me earlier that you can't give me what I need. Therefore, you are not my boyfriend."
He rolled his eyes. "I said I didn't know, not that I couldn't."
"So you just choose not to, then?" she challenged.
He stayed silent.
Traitorous tears built up behind her eyes. This was precisely the problem. She couldn't trust him. He didn't want to work for it. He just wanted everything handed to him, and nothing expected of him. Relationships were hard work, for both sides. She refused to have a relationship with herself because he didn't want to even try.
"This is why you can't read my post, or know where I am every second of the day. I want a relationship, Draco. Not a fling, or a shag buddy," she said with disgust. "I'm packing my things and moving in with Ginny tonight. Don't worry, you're now relieved of any and all responsibilities that go along with having an association of any sort with me."
He frowned. "Don't be ridiculous. Your place is here with my aunt. You haven't even seen the results of the potion trials yet. You might need to work on it some more."
She lifted her chin. "I may not be as rich as you, but I do have a considerable amount of money to my name. I can buy my own laboratory if I so choose. There's no reason for me to stay here."
He scowled. "You can't just leave." He stepped forward. "You're mine, remember?"
Her fists clenched by her sides. Even though her stomach squirmed in delight and told her that she was and always would be his, she ignored it.
"I can do whatever the bloody hell I please. And no, I'm not yours. I never was, and I never will be," she retorted coldly.
She started to move past him, but he blocked her, grabbing her arm. "I won't let you leave."
Her wand was out and jabbing into his throat in a flash.
"I am not asking your permission. Let go of me," she warned.
He clutched her tighter. "And if I don't?"
"I'll make you."
He smirked. "You won't hurt me."
She stomped on his foot. "Colloshoo."
"Ow! You bloody-"
She yanked herself out of his grip. "And don't you dare touch me again, Draco Malfoy!"
He made to catch her again, but the spell stuck his shoes to the floor. He jerked forward as if he had stepped on the aglet of a loose shoelace, very nearly toppling over. He latched onto a chair to keep his balance and then she was out the door.
***/***
Draco cursed everything he could think of as he removed her spell with a flick of his wand. He knew better than to chase her when she was angry enough to hex him. He just had no clue how she had gotten to that point.
Well, alright. Maybe 'no clue' was an exaggeration. He had an idea why, he just didn't like it. What he didn't understand was how she could change her mind so quickly. Just last night she had wantonly declared she was his, and now all of a sudden she never had been?
Bloody greedy witches. It was always more, more, more with them. They wanted more attention, more gifts, more affection, more romance, more everything. They were never satisfied with what they had. If they weren't so sexy and alluring, he'd ignore them altogether.
Except for Granger.
He sighed, pinching his nose. Granger was a bloody handful and a half. What was worse was that he actually had respect for her. It wasn't like this came out of thin air, either. She had warned him multiple times that she wasn't the type to shag and leave it be.
He supposed he had sort of possibly maybe brought this upon himself. A bit. One could hypothetically make an argument that he could be partially responsible for this outcome, and a tiny part of him might even agree. But only just a bit.
Oh bullocks, this was entirely his fault.
She had known this was a very real possibility, and so she had warned him. But he hadn't listened and now he was paying for it. He was addicted to her, but he had pushed her away. He hadn't tried hard enough. Hell, he'd barely tried to keep her at all. It was no wonder she had hexed him. He'd hardly even fought back.
While plopping into the chair and glaring sullenly at the floor, his eyes caught sight of a ball of parchment. It must have been the same parchment she had been withholding from him. Well, it was her fault if she just left it lying around for other people to read.
He picked it up and smoothed it out on his knee, his eyes darting back and forth, greedily absorbing every word on the parchment.
When he finished, he crumpled the letter into an even tighter ball in his fist.
Bloody meddling Weasleys. This was all their fault. They were always messing up his plans. Well, they weren't going to get away with it this time. They didn't think he was good enough for her? They thought all he was good for was a good lay? He'd show them. Granger could deny it all she wanted, but he knew the truth. She wanted him, all of him, and he was going to prove to her, to all of them, that he could be a good boyfriend. He would be the best bloody boyfriend in the universe.
***/***
"Hermione!" Ginny squealed the second the brunette stepped into the house, dashing into the corridor and almost tackling her to the ground.
Hermione laughed and hugged her tightly. "Hi Gin!" She felt warmth bloom in her chest at the reunion with her surrogate younger sister.
"How have you been? I have loads of stories to tell you and you better have some for me because I refuse to believe you've been doing nothing but research!"
Hermione smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I've finished my research. My potions are in the last phases of preliminary testing, so I should have my raw results soon."
"Ooh! Speaking of which, who's this new professor you're studying under?"
"Morwena Morgana. She's considered the expert potions mistress in the U.K. She consults for research divisions of potions companies, and had stopped taking on apprentices long ago because she didn't really like teaching. Snape was kind enough to write a letter of recommendation for me, so she agreed to meet me. Well, as you can guess, we got along splendidly and so I've been living in her manor up until now."
"And have any particular wizards caught your eye?" Ginny teased. "The only thing we've heard on that front is that bonkers rumor I told you about with you and Malfoy. What happened with that, anyway?"
It was the perfect segue, actually.
Oh, right. Malfoy. About that, I've been shagging him. We actually were in Diagon Alley together, but not on a date. I was trying to shake him off me because he was being a prat, as usual, and this was before he seduced me into a purely physical relationship. Now I've broken it off with him because I got in too deep and he still only wants me for my body. But it's fine, because I'm avoiding him so I won't give into him. How are Harry and Ron?
She had thought it would be so easy to just blurt out the whole story in excruciating detail, but her lips refused to form the words. She was far too embarrassed to admit to anyone, not even to her best friend, that she had been such a blithering idiot, letting herself get wrapped up in Draco. She had known better, and her stubborn pride was getting in the way of admitting it aloud.
"There was this muggle named Devon, actually. He was nice, but he was also in love with his best friend, so we didn't work out. But he and Mona are still together," she mentioned nonchalantly.
Oh, well done, Hermione. Let's just ignore the gigantic elephant you shoved into the closet. That's not going to backfire at all on you. You were lucky once that Draco kept his fat mouth shut about Graduation Eve, and here you are tempting fate again by hoping he'll keep it closed about this. Ginny is going to curse you if she finds out about it from him before she hears it from you.
And yet, for all her mental self-beratings, she still couldn't say it.
Ginny frowned. "Is that all? Well, in that case you shouldn't have any problem dating this lovely wizard I know from France. His accent just makes you melt right into a puddle-"
"No, Gin," Hermione said firmly. She'd had quite enough of wizards, and men in general, thank you very much, especially ones with French surnames.
Ginny pouted. "Oh come on, Hermione!"
"No."
"Fine. I'll save it for another day because I'm so happy to see you. But don't think I'm letting you off the hook."
Hermione rolled her eyes but smiled. "I know, I know. The interrogation will be continued. Tell me about Harry and Ron."
As Ginny launched into a hilarious story about one of Ron's conquests backfiring on him, Hermione smiled and listened patiently, all the while driving herself mad with the myriad ways in which her own conquest was going to backfire on her.
~~~\~~~
"Gin, what are you reading that's so fascinating?" Hermione asked after a solid five minutes of her best friend gaping and 'ooh'ing over some article in The Daily Prophet. They had been living together for a week, and Hermione had noticed that Ginny seemed much more girly than she remembered. She wasn't nearly as bad as Lavender Brown, of course, but Hermione did find herself getting more and more irritated by the sounds.
"Didn't you stop reading that like we did?" she added after a moment, slowly making her way through the small plate of corned beef hash.
Ginny sighed. "It's so romantic! I did stop reading for a bit, but the society articles are always so interesting and rife with gossip! Take this one for example; you have to read it."
Hermione rolled her eyes. There wasn't a single article in that pile of tripe she'd ever 'have to read.'
"No thanks, Gin," she said, returning to Potion-Making Through the Ages, Volume VII.
To her surprise, Ginny got up, walked over, and slid the Prophet article right onto her book.
"Really, Hermione. You need to read this," the redhead insisted seriously.
The moment her eyes landed on the giant, smirking image of Draco Malfoy, Hermione knew she really didn't want to read it. For several moments, she feared that he had told the entire world of their fling, ready to slander her into social pariahdom to spite her for rejecting him. She held off as long as she could until the curiosity was too much to bear.
Draco Malfoy's Secret Love
Ladies, brace yourselves, for I, Lavender Brown, special correspondent, bear
unhappy news. Our beloved, multi-talented, and dashingly brave war hero, Draco
Malfoy has become smitten with a witch he declines to name, though claims he is
dating exclusively.
"She's never wanted household fame, so I dare not reveal her name to you.
She's so modest, it will greatly embarrass her. The last thing I want is for her to
be cross with me because I made her the center of attention," he confesses fondly.
When prodded to give more details of this mystery witch, he mentions that he
does have an announcement to make, in hopes that she would read this interview
and think favorably of him.
"The last time we spoke," he recalls sadly, "she declared that I was not devoted
enough to her. She refused to call me her boyfriend because she did not believe that
I was serious when I confessed my affection for her. I do not blame her for it, as I
know I have had quite the reputation with witches. Thus, I asked for this interview
so I could declare to the world that she has stolen my heart, and I will do everything
I can to prove to her that I am absolutely serious about our future together. She is
the only witch I desire, mind, body, and soul."
When I asked him what he had in mind to win her over, he smiled charmingly
and announced that he will host a charity ball at his Great Aunt Morgana's Manor
every Saturday, featuring a different charity each week that his lady love supports.
He does this in hopes that she will take pity on him and attend one of these events.
"Now, I know what you're thinking," he grins teasingly. "Why would she attend
if it means I will stop the events? You see, I promised myself that if she did attend
one of them, I will match whatever money is raised in that night for that charity five
times over. That way, it is in my best interest to convince as many philanthropists
to come each night as possible, to tempt her into attending for the sake of the
charity. I know that no material gift will convince her of my sincerity or fidelity, but
perhaps the gift of selfless generosity will sway her. I can only wait and see if she
deems me worthy enough."
And there you are, ladies, directly from the delectable wizard himself, who twice
won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, and sadly no longer qualifies for top
rank of Wizarding England's Most Eligible Bachelor, which he has also been dubbed for
the past two years in a row. All of us here at The Daily Prophet wish the Malfoy Heir all
the best, and hope his mystery witch will not keep him waiting too long, lest someone
else snatch him up like the catch he is.
Hermione's mouth dropped open. This had to be a hoax. It was...just...preposterous! He couldn't be serious...could he? And all that rubbish about generosity? He was having a go at her from Graduation Eve! Here he was, making the entire world think he's in love and sounding all sweet, when really he was irritating her from afar because she wasn't there for him to do it in person! That absolute slimeball!
"I know," Ginny confirmed. "Even Draco Malfoy has found someone, Hermione! Please just let me set you up with one friend? I have just the one in mind! He's tall and gorgeous, and doesn't play Quidditch professionally. He works at the Ministry, in the Magical Law Enforcement department, pushing parchment for the Wizengamot Office. It's not glamorous, obviously, but it pays well...Hermione Jean Granger are you even listening to me?"
Hermione finally tore her eyes away from the article. "Yes, I am listening. I don't know, Gin. I don't think I'm ready to date yet."
Ginny sighed. "But it's been forever since you and my brother broke up. Not that I'm dismissing the whole relationship mind you, because I know you really cared about him, it's just that it's not healthy to throw yourself into work and not even try. The perfect bloke for you is out there somewhere and you won't even look!" The redhead pouted.
Hermione's eyes flicked back to the image of Draco and her stomach tightened in recognition. I'm looking at him right now. She tore her eyes away again and flipped the tabloid over so she wasn't tempted anymore.
"Really, Gin, I'm just-"
"Scared," Ginny supplied with a frown. "It's perfectly alright to feel scared." She sat down next to the brunette.
"Giving your heart away is a terrifying thing, because there's always that chance the idiot will crush it. But that's part of the thrill, too, seeing if he feels the same way. I mean, with Harry, it was easy because I had fancied him for years, so I felt like there really wasn't any other option. But when he told me how scared he was that I could suddenly decide I didn't want him anymore...well, he's an idiot for even thinking it, of course, but it made me feel secure. It made me happy in that way because all I had to do was reassure him I would never give him up. I really want you to have that."
Hermione frowned. She felt like her heart had already been crushed, and she had no desire for an encore. And now the bloody git was rubbing it in her face.
"It's lovely that you want me to be happy, Gin, but I really don't think this is the way to go about it," Hermione reasoned. 'I'm sure the Wizengamot bloke is very interesting, but I just really, really am not ready to start dating again. Please understand. Ron was my first ever fully-invested romance, and the failure of it still hurts."
It wasn't a lie. Some days she wished she and Ron had worked out. Ron would never intend to hurt her, and anything he did wrong was always out of ignorance or Body Guard Syndrome, never maliciousness. She could not say the same of Draco. She knew Ron inside and out, better than he knew himself. What did she truly know about Draco and his intentions with her? Just because he had pretended to care about her for a bit to get his way did not mean he had suddenly changed his opinion of her, that she was an irritating, intolerable, know-it-all. They always ended up arguing over something somehow, so it's not like they could even have a normal, healthy relationship.
So, even if, by some crazy miracle, Draco suddenly, honestly wanted to be her boyfriend, he was asking for an idea in his head that would not match reality. She would be doing him a favor, really, by setting him straight. So that settled it. She was going to go to one of those balls just to tell him off for being an unrepentant prat. And if, again by some insane act of God, he actually meant it, she'd reason with him exactly why they'd never work. They were two people who happened to have explosive chemistry, but absolutely nothing in common that they could base a relationship on. They argued like they were getting paid to do so, and no emotional relationship could ever survive that.
"Hermione!" Ginny huffed, snapping her out of her reverie. "Now I know you weren't listening that time so don't tell me you were!"
Hermione winced. "Sorry, Gin. I was just thinking about Ron, is all."
Ginny frowned apologetically, which made Hermione realize she had gotten better at lying. Honestly, being with Draco Malfoy had all sorts of negative side effects associated with regular use. First smirking, then caring about her appearance, now lying...what was next? Giving people insulting nicknames? Well, they already called him Ferret, so that didn't count...
"Alright," Ginny sighed. "I'll try to be patient, but just remember that you're not getting any younger! As much as I am all for catching a wizard with your personality, you have to admit that physical attraction plays a major part, and you need to use that to your advantage."
Hermione nodded. "I know, Gin."
"Good. Now tell me more about Professor Morgana. She sounds delightful!"
Again, Hermione had an overwhelming urge to tell her everything about Draco, while her lips remained firmly glued shut. So instead of discussing the personal relations of Professor Morgana, she focused on the Potions aspect.
~~~\~~~
It had been a month. A whole four weeks, and Hermione was forced to concede that it was no longer inconceivable that perhaps, just maybe, Draco had been serious. But it was still extremely unlikely.
Every Sunday, a new update on Draco Malfoy's Secret Love was splayed on the first page of the society section, featuring yet another photo of 'Dashing Draco' patiently waiting for his love with a smile. It was enough to make her sick.
This was not Draco Malfoy. This was some unobservant doppelganger under Polyjuice. She could just imagine the real Draco smirking and laughing his head off at how he had nearly the entire (age-appropriate) female population ready to throw themselves at him. But she wasn't. The one he was supposed to be waiting for refused to beg for him just because he was taunting her openly. Her body practically ached with need when she thought about what she was missing, but her stubbornness held out. She was stronger than this.
And just to prove it, to herself and to him, that she was not going to play his game, she decided she would go next Saturday. She was going to end this farce of 'generosity' and show everyone he was still a selfish, demanding, and manipulative git. It didn't hurt that the coming week's charity donation was for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, where Mr. Weasley still worked. Hermione smirked at the idea of Draco Malfoy donating an incredibly large sum of money to benefit the Weasleys, a family whom his father had loathed nearly above all others. It was fitting, she decided, and maybe Fate was on her side this time.
It took only six words for Ginny to jump for joy and drag Hermione around the clothing stores of Diagon Alley until she was ready to faint from exhaustion.
"Gin, I need a new dress."
Hermione had vetoed several disgusting shades of yellow-green that made her want to go 'Blergh!', one yucky shade of burnt orange, and a funky combination of purple, pink, and green sequins. Almost everything else either was too revealing or showcased her butt as one giant blob of blubber. She was not a vain person, but at the same time, she wasn't going to give Draco the satisfaction of looking better than her if she could prevent it.
After what felt like ten hours, Hermione and Ginny finally settled on a bespangled gold dress that didn't bare too much skin. It had far too much glitter on it for her taste, but it was the only way Ginny would let the coverage be modest.
"You're trying to attract a wizard, not make them ignore you," the redhead reprimanded.
Actually, I want them to ignore me. Her life had been so much simpler when she hadn't been involved with anyone.
~~~\~~~
Finally, next Saturday arrived. Ginny fussed over every inch of her, making sure that the skirt of the dress hung just perfectly on her hips and hugged her legs just enough without restricting movement. Hermione was ready to hex her if she came anywhere near her hair or face with her wand, though she didn't like the thought of hexing her best friend. Her hair was fine, thank you very much. She liked it a little unruly. And she refused to wear any makeup at all, much to Ginny's apparent pain.
"Just a little bit?" Ginny pleaded. "So many people and cameras will be there!"
Hermione vigilantly eyed the offending wand, which crept closer to her face.
"No, Gin. If that wand comes anywhere near me again I'll disarm you and hide it."
Ginny sighed dramatically. "Alright, alright. But when your picture gets in the paper and your complexion looks horrid, don't whine to me about it."
Hermione snorted. As if she had ever cared about her complexion in a photograph.
"Let's just get this over with, yeah?"
Ginny raised an eyebrow. "For someone who begged me for help getting ready, you seem to be dreading this."
Hermione tilted her chin defiantly. "I'm only going because it benefits your father, you know that. And honestly, I'm waiting for Malfoy to slip and say something horrid."
"Aha!" Ginny crowed. "I knew this had to do with Malfoy! You've been glancing at those articles so often, something had to be up! You're jealous, aren't you?"
"I am not!" Hermione defended truthfully. If a girl managed to be honestly envious of herself, she'd deserve a medal, or a kick in the bunghole. Maybe both, just to be fair.
"I already told you, it's alright to be attracted to people you wouldn't necessarily date."
"I'm not jealous," Hermione repeated more sternly.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Hermione. I'm your best friend. You can at least be honest with me, if not with yourself."
"I'm not in denial!"
Ginny gave her such a perfectly, ignorantly skeptical look that Hermione completely lost it. It was the only explanation for her outburst.
"Ginevra Molly Weasley, I am not jealous and I am not in denial about it because it is literally impossible for me to be jealous of myself!"
Hermione's fists were clenched by her sides to keep her control. She glared at her best friend with everything she had, nostrils flaring, and her face was probably completely red. But none of that had stopped her from blurting out her until-then best kept secret.
The fact that the normally feisty and ferocious Ginny was staring dumbly and merely blinking made the brunette realize exactly how far she had let the ball drop. This was bad. Really, really, really, really bad.
"You?" Ginny finally managed after several uncomfortable minutes. "You are Malfoy's mystery witch?"
Hermione cringed, but sighed and nodded. It was better to come clean now rather than later.
"Yes. But he's being his usual melodramatic self and milking the attention for all it's worth. You remember him back in Third Year with Buckbeak. He hasn't changed in that regard."
Then Ginny got angry. "Hermione Jean Granger!" she fumed. "I specifically asked you if you were having any sort of relations with any wizard and you just so happened to forget to mention that you had been dating Draco bloody Malfoy?" she screeched, rather like her team's namesake.
Hermione winced at the impressively high pitch. "I'm sorry, Gin! I swear I wanted to tell you, but if I told you that, I'd have to explain what happened at Hogwarts, and then you'd be furious with me because of what I did to Ron, and I couldn't even bear the thought of your family disowning me because of such a stupid mistake but I was depressed and not thinking at all until—"
Ginny walked over and clamped her hand over Hermione's mouth, silencing her rambling.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Alright, missy. You have a lot of explaining to do."
Ginny led her over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Now what's this about what you did to my brother? You both told me it was mutual because you just didn't work out, especially since he kissed Lavender."
Hermione squirmed. "Well, yes. He did. And that is one reason we ended it. But Ron still doesn't know the other reason."
Ginny leaned forward, her eyes bright with curiosity at this newest piece of shameless gossip, which made Hermione blush and stare at the floor.
"And that is?"
"I kissed Draco. More than kissed, actually. We almost…had sex. Almost. He was too much of a prat for me to go through with it, but it was close enough that I felt like I had. I couldn't really do anything with Ron without thinking about what I had almost done with Draco, and so we just collapsed because Ron felt the same about Lavender. We both ended it for our own reasons."
Ginny's jaw dropped. "And when was this? You and Malfoy."
Hermione bit her lip and toed the rug. "Night before Graduation."
"While Ron was snogging Lavender?" Ginny gasped.
Hermione nodded.
"Oh Merlin!"
Then she frowned as something occurred to her.
"So why is Malfoy saying you're dating exclusively?"
Hermione squirmed again, but then decided she was already in too deep to stop now, and it felt so incredibly good to finally tell someone. So she launched into the whole story of how she and Snape hadn't been able to get along well enough, which was how she met Professor Morgana, who was Draco's great aunt, and the little red book that had been the harbinger of her doom. Then she got into Draco's arrival and the chaos that had followed. By the time she had finished, two hours had passed.
"We're late!" Hermione exclaimed guiltily.
Ginny waved her hand dismissively, smirking. "Don't you know you're supposed to be late to your own party?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, but then smiled apologetically. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you until now, but do you at least understand why I was afraid it would all get back to Harry and Ron?"
Ginny nodded. "I forgive you because I am the first person you've told. And you're right. I probably wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut with Harry having a go at Malfoy whenever he thought of a clever remark. What exactly are you planning on doing tonight? Clearly you don't want him back, but do you really think talking to him again is going to help?"
Hermione stood up, straightening out her spine. "I'm going to tell him exactly what I think of this little game of his. And while I'd prefer nobody know I'm the mystery witch, if he uses it against me, I'll make sure he knows his 'generosity' was all for naught."
Ginny chuckled. "I'd pay to see that. Shall we?"
The two grabbed their purses and apparated to the party.
~~~\~~~
"You haven't even talked to Malfoy yet, have you?" Ginny accused some hours later.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I haven't even seen the git."
"You're not going to see him if you merely hang around the Honeydukes chocolate fountain."
"That's not true! I've taken seven walks around the perimeter of the room."
"I never thought I'd see the day Hermione Granger was afraid of telling off Draco Malfoy," Ginny teased.
Hermione sighed. "Alright, alright. You're right. I'm terrified I won't be able to control myself around him. It used to be so easy when I thought he was as attractive as a chunky, soggy biscuit. But now…"
"He's one gigantic slab of gorgeous?"
Hermione pursed her lips at Ginny's grin. "That's one way of saying it."
"Miss Granger, how lovely it is to see you again."
The two girls had been so focused on themselves that they hadn't even noticed the tall black wizard smoothly approaching Hermione.
Ginny tilted her head, trying to place him, but Hermione recognized him instantly.
"Mr. Zabini," she nodded courteously. "How are you?"
He smiled, and Hermione noted that more than one Slytherin had matured into a very handsome man.
"I would love to catch up over a dance, if you are amenable."
Hermione bit her lip. She still irrationally felt like she would be cheating on Draco, but dancing with a person was not cheating, in any sense of the word. At least, assuming the dance was a respectable one with an appropriate distance. She imagined dancing with Draco under starlight in a very not appropriate way before mentally shaking it away. Thinking like this was going to drive her mad.
"Oh go on, Hermione. I'll be right here when you get back," Ginny urged.
Zabini held out his hand with a gentlemanly swoop and Hermione placed her hand in his before she could talk herself out of it.
"Do you know," he started when they were on the floor, "that Draco has been staring at you since you arrived?"
Her hands involuntarily tightened on his hand and shoulder. "No, I had no idea he had noticed my arrival," she said stiffly.
"Everyone had noticed your arrival, Granger. You look simply exquisite in that dress."
She blushed and stared over his shoulder, avoiding his intense gaze. She felt like she was being interrogated, but he had only asked one question.
"Thank you. You're too kind."
"I'm not kind. I'm merely stating a fact."
She saw him smirk in her peripheral vision and it reminded her too much of Draco's smirk. God, she was a lovesick fool. He was everywhere.
"Then we agree to disagree," she stated with finality.
He raised a dark eyebrow. "You don't think you deserve such praise?"
She bit her tongue to prevent a very rude remark about exactly what Zabinis typically thought of muggle-borns from escaping her lips. If Draco could change his views on muggle-borns in general, why couldn't the other Slytherins?
"No, I do not," she finally answered with a slight edge to her voice. "I have been told more times than I care to remember that I am nothing remarkable to look at, so please forgive me if I seem too modest."
"For what it might be worth, I do apologize for the behaviour of my fellow Slytherins in school. Many of us were led astray by our parents, and it had never occurred to us to question their beliefs. Until Draco did, of course."
And there it was again, another mention of Draco. Was she being tested?
"It's quite alright. We were all children during the war. I doubt I would have fared much better if I had been born into any of your positions."
He smiled. "You are too kind."
Her lips tilted up against her better judgment. "Just stating a fact."
It certainly seemed like she was passing whatever test was happening, but one could rarely ever tell the true thoughts of a Slytherin.
Hermione recognized the song was nearing its end, and she was almost sad. Zabini wasn't such a bad bloke when he was trying to be civil.
"Mind if I cut in, Blaise?"
Her heart nearly skipped a beat at the familiar tenor. It took all of her willpower to stand motionless, still staring over Zabini's shoulder. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her squirm under his gaze.
"Of course, Draco. Do be careful, though. This one has quite a bite when she's feeling testy."
Zabini caught her eyes and he subtly winked. She smiled back tightly.
Another song began and Draco led. She was just as nervous as she had feared, and didn't dare to be the first to speak. It took enough effort as it was to not jump into his arms and inhale his scent. God, she had missed it.
She closed her eyes and tried very hard not to look like she was greedily inhaling every pheromone.
"You came," he said softly. "You actually had me worried there, for a couple weeks."
She opened her eyes and immediately switched her focus to his eyes instead of his scent, though that still lingered, fogging up her brain. How many times had she stared into those eyes while he brought her to bliss and back? She couldn't even count them anymore. It might as well have been one million, four hundred thirty five thousand, and sixty eight. She didn't know.
All she knew was that her body was already responding to his mere presence, to his palms and fingers touching her. Her waist felt like it was a localized fire, threatening to burn her up through her dress. His fingers flexed against her side and her stomach flipped. She focused very intensely on his face, because the memories threatened to consume her just as readily as his touch. She was lost in memories of passion, but hanging on for dear life anyway.
"Why are you doing this?"
She hadn't meant to sound so pathetic, so small and helpless. She had had every intent of marching in here and yelling at him for all the world to hear about his trickery and manipulations.
He frowned. "Doing what?"
"This," she hissed, glancing around. Angry was much, much better than pathetic. "This farce you've concocted about how you're oh-so-loyal and patient, waiting for me to finally realize how good you are. How you've changed. You, Draco Malfoy, haven't changed one bloody bit!"
He raised an imperious eyebrow. "Funny you should say that, seeing as how you're the one person who has seen exactly how much I've changed since school, aside from my own mother."
"Have you? You're trying to trap me into your bed again by donating money! How, exactly, is that different?"
"You know very well how that's different, as I never would have looked at you if I were the same as before. But more importantly, I'm not just trying to keep you in my bed."
"Not just? What else are you attempting, then?"
His stare turned intense. "I'm donating money to keep you in my life. I don't care if I have to give away half my fortune if you promise not to let it end this way."
As Ron would say, oh bloody hell! This was not how this was supposed to go! He wasn't supposed to be sweet and serious and looking at her like she were the bloody sun and he a lowly plant trying to catch at least one of its rays. Like she were the only thing that existed in his world aside from himself.
It would be too easy. It would be too incredibly easy to let herself hope again. He had never confessed anything so blatantly to her before, or at least anything of this magnitude.
She couldn't even remember what it felt like to not want him, both physically and emotionally. She was left speechless by both her own overwhelming desire to be with him and the gravity of his words.
"Please, Hermione," he whispered intimately, drawing her closer and giving her two more reasons to stay speechless, "let me show you how serious I am about this. The article wasn't a farce of any sort. I know Weaselette doesn't approve of me, but I can prove to both of you that I am capable of being only yours until such a time as you no longer want me."
She could only stare, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in amazement. Every cell in her body was screaming to drag him to the nearest dark corner and have her way with him now and forever. He finally wanted to be her boyfriend. Finally.
But it still didn't sit right. It was all well and good for him to say he wanted to commit to her, but did he truly understand the ramifications of a monogamous relationship with her? He was going to have to get along with Harry and Ron. She was going to have to get along with his mother. Even if he managed to sway Ginny, her brother hated him with a devotion that martyrs would envy. Ron had never managed to let go of the Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry, especially their rivalry with Draco, so Hermione didn't think it would be so farfetched for him to say 'over my cold and rotting corpse,' and mean it as literally as possible.
How had she forgotten? Harry and Ron would never accept him. It was a miracle that Ginny didn't mind so much, but then again, she had never had the same intense rivalry with him as The Golden Trio. Hermione Granger had let her emotions rule her, and this was where she ended up, wanting a wizard who could never fit in with her life, her family. Not to mention the absolute fit her father would have when she wrote home to say she had gotten involved with the same little boy who had called her names, hexed her (even if he had been aiming for Harry), and made her life miserable as much as possible.
Her father would make her choose, would see her as wanting to break ties with the muggle world altogether. He would think he was losing his sweet, innocent daughter, his only child, to some hooligan boy with honeyed words and corrupting touches. He would be so, so angry with her, and worst of all…disappointed in her.
The tears built up behind her eyes and she knew she had to leave, quickly.
"I can't," she choked out, yanking her hands from Draco's firm grip and swiftly weaving between the dancing couples.
She made it over to the punch bowl in record time, grabbing Ginny's hand and pulling her away from some Italian wizard, giving him a quick apology.
"Hermione, slow down!" Ginny hissed. "You're making a scene!"
Indeed, people were unabashedly watching them dash out of the manor.
"It's too late to go back now," she whispered. "It's far too late."
As soon as they had passed the wards, Ginny held Hermione tightly and insisted on apparating them both back to Grimmauld Place. Hermione let her, as she was too busy sobbing to properly object.
***/***
I can't.
What exactly did those words mean, anyway? She was not able to? She was physically incapable of giving him a chance? Well, a second chance, or maybe even a third to be perfectly honest. The first chance had been when they had first met, but he had been too eager to be his father then. The second chance had been Graduation Eve, but he had ruined that, too. No, this was the fourth chance, because the third had been when she was actually shagging him. He had actually had her, then let her go, and now he wanted a fourth chance, but she was reluctant to give it.
He could understand her hesitation. Four chances was a lot to ask.
Perhaps he wasn't good enough for her after all. Perhaps Draco Malfoy had finally found a witch who was out of his league.
The rest of the ball passed swiftly. He threw himself into as many conversations as possible to cover up the fact that never in his entire life had he felt so alone. Even when The Dark Lord had taken over his home, he had still had Pansy and Blaise to fall back on, to comfort him.
But this felt like there was a dementor residing inside him, sucking out every good emotion he had ever felt. He felt…desolate. Cold and desolate.
~~~\~~~
A/N: This week's assignment is something fluffy (please be a little more creative than a three headed dog or a cat named such, you smart-alecks out there!), a proverb, and a piece of clothing. Until next time!