HSM? Not mine... just borrowing, I'll have them back the way i found them when i am done...
Chapter 13: get the fuck out of Albuquerque
Sharpay
at this rate i think i would have liked it better if josh and troy hadn't reconciled and stayed rivals. That way i couldn't be coxed into going on this ridiculous tom foolery. Ryan sighed as i put a pair of leather boots in my pink rolling suitcase. " there boots Ryan!" i snapped
" the heal is 4 inches, Sharpay!" he said mocking my tone. I glared at him. I don't know why he was acting so Huck Finn all of the sudden, if he didn't have such a hard on for troy i doubt he would be on board for camping. " look, your tennis shoes will work" he put them in the suitcase and sighed again. " in fact i don't know about this suit case."
" ugh" i groaned falling onto my bed. " why is this my life?"
Ryan laughed at me siting down beside me. "Sharpay, do you know how much you have changed, how much you have opened up let lose let this be a walk in the park for you"
i snuggled my face into my pillows. It wasn't the camping, well some of it was but most of it wasn't. " so you're pretty much moved in here right?" i asked.
" yeah, well until i have to go to new york" he said beaming. To think a few months ago he never wanted to go back suddenly troy comes into his life and he cant get there soon enough. It made sense. Ryan's confidence levelled when he and troy became friends, he had desired troy and he had obtained him in a way and Ryan got what he wanted. Now he was seeking something else he wanted and with new confidence. " i haven't decided weather i am going to come back, you know after i go to the admissions office"
" why wouldn't you come back?" i asked perplexed taking my head from under the pillows.
" well depending on what they say" he said looking out the window. "they might give me another shot at re admission, if they do i wont start till January but maybe i should start making new york home"
" it was your home Ryan" i said " you left it"
" yeah but that was before" he said " I've changed, I'm not as timid, ill fight for what i want i will be alone and i will have no one to rely on but myself"
" what about troy?" i pried. There was something that didn't meet the eye with that. I had been suspicious about their relationship and i took any opportunity to read my brother.
" what about troy?" he said with a small wince. I gave him the look and he frowned.
" i don't know he has been relying on you a lot" i said with a shrug. " you go away to new york and he stays here and licks his wounds?"
he scoffed sucking his teeth. " yeah troy and i might be close but he needs to find his own direction, I'm not his keeper i have my own life" i could see it did at least hurt him to say but i was surprised at his approach.
"you've been his only direction Ryan" i said he sighed. " you can ahhh all you want but at the end of the day he doesn't have a whole lot without you, his friends his job because of you" he looked contemplative for a few minutes and i decided i was going to continue packing. To tell you the truth i had enough on my mind.
" well then what do you suggest i do?" he asked perplexed. It was a stretch and i don't know if troy would go for it let alone Ryan but it oddly worked in my head.
" take him with you" i said, my head was beginning to take the lead from my mouth but when it came out it felt right it felt like an answer for some reason. " Ryan I'm not stupid, i mean I'm not of the swiftest but i can read the signs."
" what signs?" he asked but it was written all over his face that he knew exactly what i was talking about.
" Troy's, he's gay then?" i asked awkwardly. He blushed and looked away i don't know why this would embarrass him, if anything it made me a little jealous , i had spent years chasing troy to no avail. A lot has been explained.
" its complicated" he said with a half grin. " i don't fully understand him a lot of the time" his frustration was evident. I could imagine the transition from straight to gay would be a confusing one..
" so how did it..." i asked not knowing how to put it. " manifest" i liked that word.
" after dinner at your place" he said. I was shocked at how long ago that was. They had kept it from everyone around us for that long?
" wow" i said " that long?" i could see the pride in Ryan's eyes, it had been almost two moths since then and it made so much sense, Ryan's whole demeanour had changed with troy. And the idea of Ryan leaving troy behind here seemed out of character for him. " you kind of have to take him with you Ryan"
" what if he doesn't want to go?" at the end of the day i knew it was my brothers biggest obstacle. I felt my phone vibrate again and looked to see Zeke's number. I put my phone in sleep and dropped it on the bed. He had been texting me non stop lately. It took longer this time because usually i would give in first but its like josh was perfectly placed in my life to get away from soothing i never thought i would escape. At the end of the day knew Zeke was fairy tale's at first but was just not good for me and josh? Well josh was a possibility, i hadn't found a reason to not like him yet. Maybe i needed to stop looking for one.
"i don't know" i said trailing off into my thoughts. " have you rethought my proposal?"
" for the last time no" he said with aggravation. I crossed my arms with a pout.
" please come Ryan, josh knows you" i begged " it would make the whole thing less awkward". My parents now back in town and the reason Ryan was hiding out at my apartment invited me for tea the other day and while there i had let slip that Zeke and i where threw. While eating my biscotti josh texted me and my father rudely looked at my phone when it lit up.
" well you must tell him to join us for dinner then sweetheart" my mother said. There was nothing i would want more then for the world to end before they had to meet josh.
" not a chance" he said with a firm crossing of the arms. Our father was a touchy subject with Ryan. Daddy had always been harder on him then he had been on me, sometimes in almost cruel ways. " I'm not going to go back there to listen to dad judge your boyfriend" he said the thing i was dreading the most. I knew my father had a very critical eye and high standard. Few had passed the test and he had always pushed me to get to know east highs golden boy troy Bolton. Not that i didn't agree with him at the time. When i thought about it, troy was too nice to be a straight guy. Josh and him where alike in so many ways but with troy there was something different and it may just be the gay thing.
" i know daddy's going to hate him" i groaned. My father was a conceited ass hole, he would much rather remind us how much money he has and how it has benefited our lives then actually be a nurturing parent. " god why does it have to be tonight?"
" cancel" he said. Open arms by journey blared threw my bedroom startling me half to death. Ryan pulled out his cell phone.
" really Ryan?" i said rolling my eyes.
" i love this song" he said " its mom" i sat silent reminding myself to not let troy anywhere near Ryan's music sense. " hello mother" i couldn't hear what she was saying but Ryan shook his head. " i understand but i think what you did was rude too" i raised an eyebrow Ryan had been foggy on the details of his departure from the Evans mansion. His eyes widened. " I'd rather not, i understand that but..." he sighed and gave up. " if that is what he wishes" he hung up the phone and looked over at me. He threw a pillow and it hit me in the face. " you get your wish"
" she asked you to come?" i asked elated that i wouldn't be the only one having to go threw this. Poor josh was new to the family dynamic.
" he insisted i come" he said " which means come or i cut you off" i was taken aback for a few seconds at what he had just said.
" wait daddy has threatened to cut you off?" i asked. It sounded ridiculous to say. My father would never do that. But then again maybe he would just never do that to me. Ryan's face was a little red, i could see the pain behind his eyes it was heart breaking for me to see. My father had no love for his son. He got up and went to his room, or rather my guest room since now he also had to get ready for dinner. I loved the fact that at least we where leaving this whole mess of a town behind as soon as dinner was finished. I finished packing. I was satisfied with my options since it was only a weekend i didn't have a lot to worry about. I showered and dressed and before i knew it 5 was looming and i herd the house phone ring signifying josh was downstairs. Ryan looked sullen siting on the couch. Dinner was at 5:30, it would have been later but i had my mother compromise. I heard the knock and let josh in, he pulled me into his arms and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He had stubble on his chin and jaw that made him look older. He was also dressed a lot more classy. He had been to my home after all so he knew what to expect from my parents.
" ready?" he asked with a warm smile. I tried to return the smile but it wasn't my regular glowing grin he noticed and took a hold of my hand. " Shar, I've never met your parents and i honestly don't care what they think of me"
" i know that" i said, i knew he didn't care what they thought, josh didn't care what anyone thought about him or his friends. Sometimes it was annoying but a lot of the time it was endearing and loyal. " i just don't what them to change the way you feel about me"
he looked at me incredulously. " what exactly am i walking into here?" he asked confused and humours at the same time.
" the lions den" Ryan said wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at his attempts to put the heat on josh. Josh looked at me sceptical. I smiled not knowing what to say. I couldn't exactly say Ryan was wrong. As much as i wanted my brother to be at this dinner to make my life more easy i felt bad about the fact that this dinner would quickly turn into my father telling him all of the things he is doing wrong in his life.
" this is going to be interesting." josh said following Ryan out the door. I hadn't scene my parents since Easter. And Ryan hadn't gone to dinner which rubbed my father awfully the wrong way. But i found myself having a hard time blaming him.
The Evans house was as usual larger and more domineering then it needed to be beside the other modestly sized houses in the neighbourhood. It was the home i grew up in yet every time i have to go back i dread it. Ryan sat in the back seat stewing in his own anxiety about the night. " just relax" i said looking back at him.
" i don't want to be here" he said threw gritted teeth. It looked almost painful. I parked and we sat there in silence for a few minutes.
" wheres troy?" josh asked Ryan.
" not here" he said quietly getting out of the car. Josh shrugged at me and we both got out as well. I wish troy could have been here, it would have made this a whole lot more easy on him to have troy here like i had josh, or given the circumstances josh had me. But something told me troy would not be welcome here. My father had a few words for troy after he beat up chad, words he no doubt shared with the u of a board. My father loved his opinion more then anything he possessed. " he really hates your parents" josh said as we walked to the door.
" no he doesn't" i defended. Josh shrugged knowing i didn't want to go there at the moment. Mother greeted us at the door , just mother not father.
" father?" Ryan asked not wanting to waste anytime he was a pro dine and dasher. My mother winced and i knew he was not here, i sighed. Once again he was not going to make dinner. I could see the relief wash over Ryan's face.
" he is tied up in town" caught up in his assistant is more the nature. Her eyes caught josh and a warm smile spread across her face. " you must be josh, I've heard much" she hadn't heard anything. I had mentioned him once in passing while eating brunch.
" I've heard all about you as well, all wonderful things" josh said with his charm. I smiled. Knowing it was just my mother here i only had to worry about her judging him silently which wasn't as bad as my fathers call it as i see it approach. Though josh had also gone out of his way to look and dress clean and nice for the evening. He had worn black jeans a white v neck and a black bottom up over it, he had worn a black snap back as well but we where all still kids after all.
" yes well..." she said looking at Ryan. " dinner is in half an hour in the dinging room" she smiled looking nervously between the three of us. She knew about my fathers whore and it was written all over her face. " Ryan, would you like to join me in the kitchen?" she asked. I looked at him expectantly. He wanted to die.
Josh and i made ourselves comfortable in the family room in front of the 60 inch plasma. I wondered how josh was feeling, was he relieved that my father was not here? Was he taken in by my mother? " so.." i said
" you're moms cute" he said lacing his fingers in mine, i smiled scrunching my nose.
" really?" i asked
he chuckled. " in a classy way." he said wiggling his eyebrows. I let out a loud honk of a laugh and he started tickling me i shirked in protest as he tickled my stomach and feet. I tried to tickle him back but it didn't faze him i was defeated under his prying fingers and i could hardly breath, i wasn't mad i was happy it was a different state of mind being tickled into a fit of laughter so intense. And then suddenly it all stopped. It was all over and i was taking a huge breath. I turned to look at him and he looked nervously behind me. I turned my head red faced and disgruntled and saw my father standing suit clad in in the entente hall beside the family room. I moved down the couch creating some distance between me and josh. " daddy!" i said excitedly as i could muster without sounding surprised. He smiled slyly.
" hello sweetheart" he said " i don't believe i have had the opportunity to meet..." his eyes trailed to josh and we both stood up quickly.
" daddy, this is josh" i said with a smile looking at him. Josh grinned holding his hand out to shake.
" hello sir, pleasure to meet you" he said modestly. But i could read my father like a book. He met joshes hand and shook it hard. Josh winched under the pressure and i glared at my father.
" yes, josh" he said with a wicked smirk. " tell me josh, when is it okay to fondle my daughter when invited here into my home?" my eyes widened.
" i..." josh stumbled, he was clearly caught of guard by the question. I believe he was waiting for the punch line that was never coming.
" daddy he wasn't..." i tried but my father raised his hand to silence me.
" no, no " he said. " i think you should treat this" he opened his arms to gesture to all of the things around us, his domain his property his blood sweat and tears. His wealth. " with just a little bit more respect" he walked away and we just stood there, the mood of the evening was already on pins and needles and now it was something more uncomfortable. First impressions are everything.
" your dad does not like me" he said, i could see the comical look on his face as if he was happy about it. " kiss my ass and worship my shit!" josh said in a mighty and domineering voice. I wanted to laugh at the jest but it hurt to know that this was the impression my own father gives off.
" i understand why you and Ryan are friends then" i said with a shrug. I wasn't going to be mad at josh for insulting my father after that but i wasn't going to feed his notions of my father, he was still my father.
" I'm sorry Shar" he said truthfully. " should i leave?" my eyes widened.
" no!" i said quickly, that was the worst thing he could do, my father liked to make people bend, if he wanted him to leave he would have told him to leave, he wants josh to stay, so he can get to know him, his way. " its best we get this dinner over with." i could see the doubt written all over his face. I know josh said he didn't care what my parents thought but that could have just been a front. Maybe he cared a lot more then he let on. "josh i don't want you to leave, i want you to stay and have dinner with my parents and i am a grown woman and you can touch me all you like." he grinned but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He was still sceptical and i could not blame him for that, Vance Evans was a hard nut to crack.
Ryan appeared at the door to the family room. He was pale and perturbed obviously my father had spread his uncomfortable presence threw out the house already. " dinner is ready" he said biting his lip" josh and i shared a look and i nodded.
"okay, lets go eat" i said but the attempt at optimism completely deflated and we all walked in silence towards the dining room. I felt sort of like i was on death row. Not literally of course but this dinner could really determine the future of my and joshes relationship.
We each took our seats. Josh took a seat between me and Ryan, mother sat on the other side of him which put her next to father who sat next to me. I knew i would not be the target of his ridicule, i had always been the apple of my fathers eye, a tittle i used to relish in but now i just see it as an injustice to Ryan. " how nice it is to sit down to dinner as a family" my father said grandly. My mother beamed like a fool so in love with her narcissistic husband. " and to... new friends" he gestured to josh with a smile that would seem warm to an unknowing guest. " tell me josh, what is it you do?" he asked as the staff started to come in with the salad.
Josh watched them all curiously before turning to my father. " i work construction" he said modestly. My father nodded intrigued
" school?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
" well i graduated from north high in 07" josh said
" 2007?" my father asked. " you are quite older then Sharpay then?" i bit my tongue before i sucked my teeth my father was really going to grill him tonight.
" no older then boys i dated in high school" i said with a kind smile at my father, he nodded with a smile of his own.
" none the less" he said putting his hands up in surrender. " why is it you never attended post secondary in the time since?" my mother sat there looking on curious and Ryan sat there downing his salad as vigorously as he could. Probably in the hopes that the meal might end quicker.
I wanted to bury my face in my shirt, it was a face palm moment that i knew would turn my father the wrong way. I wanted to tell josh he didn't have to answer that but i knew my father would push, he liked to know all of your secretes. " truthfully sir, i couldn't afford it" my father scoffed incredulously. His wealth blinded him.
" but surely your parents must have put away a trust" he suggested. To anyone below the poverty line that was a fool notion but not to my father. Josh winced and i grabbed his hand under the table. I knew the complicated past of his family and it was not something he needed to bring up.
" yeah because everyone in the world has the money to send their kids to an ivy league dream" Ryan said beating me to the punch. My father turned on Ryan.
" oh you where listing?" my father acknowledged . " and here i thought you where only here to take advantage of a free meal, like you took advantage of a free education." Ryan's face reddend and i almost choked on my lemon water. The servers came in to clear the salad and bring out soup.
I knew Ryan wouldn't let it bother him, or at least he wouldn't show his hurt and abeyance. Everyone at the table said nothing and my father sat there satisfied. " why am i here?" Ryan asked glaring at father.
" i wanted to have dinner with my family" he said. I looked at Ryan who looked fed up with the whole evening.
" so you could remind me i am a failure" Ryan said with a sad smile. " because that is all you do, remind people how beneath you they are"
my fathers face changed instantly to affronted and rage. " under my roof!" he started, it was nothing i hadn't heard before. " at my table, you will speak to me..."
" with respect!' Ryan said with a laugh. " yes respect, because respect means agreeing with everything you say and letting you walk all over me, god forbid you have some empathy for all of the people who weren't served with a silver spoon their whole lives" he got up out of his seat.
"Ryan!" mother said as if it where so out of character for him to act out in such a way, when in truth Ryan had been crying out for help for such a long time and she was never there to give it to him.
" you sit back down" he said " you sit down or you will be sorry" my father hated losing.
Ryan stood at his seat looking down. " fuck you" he said before walking out of the room. I wanted to follow but knew my father would only tell me not to. And i didn't want to leave josh alone with my parents. I felt sick at how big of a hypocrite i was being. As much as my mother was never there i had rarely come to his rescue either.
" I'm sorry you had to witness that" my father said sadly as if he where the victim . I snapped my head in his direction and josh just nodded. I could see the tension in his face, i could tell he didn't like my father. I could not blame him for that. My father would rather be feared then loved. " Ryan is troubled to say the least."
"yeah, i cant imagine why" josh said. My father gave him a look, it was not threatening but it was a warning. Josh scoffed and looked down at his place.
"i suppose you think you know my son better then i but..." my father started with his finger up.
" yes" josh said simply catching my father off guard. " i do know him better then you, which says a lot because I've been his friend for a little over six months and i still know him better then his own father does" my father got up out of his seat in outrage
" i don't know who you think you are..."
" not a narcissist" josh said getting out of his own seat. " like you"
my father took a look at me as if to ask why i would bring this upon him why i would torture him with a creature so beneath him and it made me sick. " i don't think i like your tone, and i certainly don't think you are right for my daughter"
josh widened his eyes incredulously " get over yourself for a second Mr. Evans, i never asked to come here to eat dinner in your fancy mansion, i was invited" he said " and i didn't come here for your blessing, i don't care about your wealth or your power its obviously made you a cold person and if you don't like me for telling the truth then you can bet the feeling is mutual" josh walked from the room following Ryan's Que and i sat there mortified.
" well sweetheart you really know how to pick them" my father laughed. I felt the tears in my eyes welling and i looked over at the entrance way to the grand dining room.
" why would you do that?" i asked choked and silent. My fathers face fell.
" Sharpay it wasn't me" he defended. I glared at him and knocked my plate off of the table, it slammed into the wall.
" it was you!" i shirked. " you ruin everything, you cant be happy until everyone else is a miserable as you!"
my father looked at me with a new fear, he had never gotten this from me. I was his little girl and i was his mirror image in his eyes. " i just want whats best..."
" for you!" i sniffed " dinner could have been fun, it could have beet great but you only think about yourself and you never give people a chance, I'm not like you and i love josh so I'm done and if you want to cut me off like you have threatened to do to Ryan then go ahead" my mother gave a sharp look to my father and i smirked.
" such a role model" i said shaking my head at the point beyond reasoning. My father would never see his wrongs in anything and that would never change. " disowning a your child and cheating on your wife" i left before the shock of what i said sunk in. I walked to the door quickly and found josh and Ryan leaning on the hood of my car smoking a joint. Ryan looked like he was in tears and josh just looked fired up.
As awful as i felt that my mother had to find out about my fathers adultery i couldn't feel a whole lot of compassion for her knowing she had sat there silent so many times as my father belittled Ryan. I couldn't afford to feel sympathy for her. " give me that" i said yanking the joint out of joshes hand, the two sported annoyed looks until i put it between my lips and inhaled. It went straight to my lungs and i coughed but not too hard. Josh and Ryan both looked astounded.
" what happened after we left?" Ryan asked with a raised eyebrow.
" I'm sorry" i said to josh ignoring Ryan's question. " part of me expected him to be happy for me but he will never be happy for anyone but himself, and I'm sorry to you Ryan"
the confusion was evident and it made me feel worse for not being a better sister. I had always let him get ridiculed and sat there like my mother but now there was no turning back, i needed to be there for Ryan like he had been there for me my whole life he needed it more, and at the end of the day he needed troy as well. " I'm going to be a better sister"
" you already are" he said. We all got into the car after the joint was finished Ryan outed it on one of the pillars lining the drive way leaving a big black mark that someone was bound to eventually notice.
I felt too high to drive so Ryan took the wheel josh sat in the back seat " so that was ... dysfunctional" i bit my lip " well at least i know that rich folk have real people problems too" me and Ryan both laughed. I took a deep breath knowing i was no longer in my parents favour as i had so often been accustomed too.
I had completely forgotten about the camping trip but knowing that we where getting away for the weekend became a welcomed distraction. "ugh i don't want to think about it" i said " lets just go get troy, and get the fuck out of Albuquerque."
A/N: okay so monumental moment the first few paragraphs just so happen to be the 100th page of this story. So fun fact. Also who would have thought that i would be more busy now that school was done then i was while going to school?, so sorry about the larger then usual gap between updates to any one who actually follows this story.