Disclaimer: this is the end of my twisted little vision, for now! So i will be borrowing them again but alas i do not own high school musical.
Chapter 16: Everyone.
Ryan
i looked down at the instant teller. 00.00 balance. I was almost shocked but i knew this was going to happen. I knew eventually he would finally do this. My father had completely cut me off. I laughed uncontrollably. People around me at the bank looked at me like i was some sort of crazy person. Of course my father would do this now, when i needed it the most. But at the same time i didn't want to be made, this was his money not mine and i would make my own way through life. I got back into my car and leaned mt head head against the steering wheel the tears just came and it felt like all of the crap in my life had reached a breaking point. I screamed out and hit my head against the rest on my seat " dammit!"
i began to breath heavily. I was already a mess and the funeral hadn't even started yet. I started the car and drove back to Sharpay's. Troy was still asleep in the bed i watched him sleep from the door his bare chest rising and falling, a cute little smile on his face.
He had scene it all, he hadn't scene Micky get shot, nor did he see who did it but he saw the damage that was done, two bullets to the chest and one straight to the forehead. The head one was the one that truly had him raddled. He said he couldn't stop seeing mickey in his head when he slept his eyes still opened, the bullet lodged into his brain. I hated myself for leaving that day. Sharpay was in the kitchen making coffee.
" you where up early" she said as i walked in to join her.
" i didn't really fall asleep" i said. She looked at me and her eyes widened.
" where you crying?" she asked. I hadn't thought of the fact that i looked like a puffy mess at the moment. I wasn't sure if i wanted to tell Sharpay but now the the topic was on the table.
" dad cut me off" she took a sharp intake of breath. It was loud enough that I'm sure it woke up troy. I closed my eyes. " can you not please, i don't want Troy to know"
" why not?" she whispered.
" because then he will think new york is off and its not we are still going and the less he knows about my financial issues the better" i said Sharpay looked at me incredulously.
" i just... i cant believe he cut you off" she said. I raised my eyebrow. " what?"
" really, you cant?" i asked. Because to me it felt like he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to do so.
" i mean yeah, i guess" she said caving, even she had to admit the idea wasn't a far stretch. " what are you going to do though?"
It was a question i was asking myself. I didn't have a tone of options. One thing was for sure though, new york was happening without a doubt. " I'm just going to have to be normal"
" that's brave" she said. I heard the toilet flush and knew troy was awake. He had moved completely out of his house i guess you could say. He went back for a lot of his stuff and told his parents about his plans to leave for new york, his mother was unmoved his father was a little at a loss for worlds but that was to be expected. Troy was his son after all.
" hey" he said at the door to the kitchen, he watched as my sister and i drank our coffee.
" morning" i said " coffee?" he nodded with a small smile. I knew it was hard for him to do even that. His life was a mess, it was a big complicated mess that at times just kept getting worse and i couldn't help but feel the blame for some of it. The distance between him and his parents was because of me, his conflicting sexual issues where because of me, and he wouldn't have had to go threw everything he had been threw on Saturday if he weren't working at the bar i had brought him to in the first place.
I knew his deepest scars go back before i was even in the picture but i felt bad still knowing that i had not made his life a whole lot easier. Troy took his coffee black now, something to do with the cream giving him stomach ache issues and how we feels more awake when he just adds sugar. Not that anything could make him feel more awake anyway. troy was the walking dead the last few days. " so i think Naomi is going to have a few people back to her place" he said. They seemed to talk more then her and i talked now but i wasn't as bothered as i used to be. For one troy was with me and i knew that so it didn't matter who else knew. But mostly Naomi really needed a friend. I used to be that friend. Troy was just as good though if not better, Taylor and tally had become good friends and josh had Sharpay all the good she was doing for him.
Josh had taken it awful, for one they had been best friends since elementary school, so no matter how much they fought or didn't get along josh still loved Micky, also now josh couldn't afford to live on his own so he has to move out of their apartment. On the topic of the shooting itself the police believe it was gang violence, retaliation over drug feuds. I think that was the part that got to josh the most, that he was right in the end it was the drugs that killed him.
" that's good" i said , i didn't know what to say, i wanted to be excited for new york, i wanted to be happy i had troy, yet when i was i felt like a bad person knowing i was about to watch someone get laid to rest.
" I'm going to go have a shower" he said, he looked longingly at me and then went on his way. I got the feeling he didn't want to do that alone. I drained my mug quickly after that and my sister just watched me.
" classy" she said. Putting her eyes back to the news paper.
" everyone has different coping mechanisms" i said flushed walking out of the kitchen Towards my room. I could hear the shower on already and pulled off my shirt. Then my pyjama pants. by the time i reached the washroom i was completely naked. I could see troys naked form threw the door to the shower. Standing still under the cascading water. I felt myself getting a little hard. I opened the door and a cloud of steam escaped. Troy didn't move and i strode in front of him under the water and kissed him. He put his arms around my neck and leaned heavily into me. Our bodes just clung to each other and he sighed into my shoulder.
" i thought i heard gun shots last night" he said. " again" i closed my eyes. Why did he have to go threw all of this, why did he have to be reminded of so much pain? Why did it have to be the boy i loved? "i just, it's all a little overwhelming" i kissed his neck.
" just a little?" i asked, he scoffed. It was the fact that he could still laugh that i knew he was going to get threw it. Troy was damaged the last year of his life has been filled with a lot of hardships but he could still recognize and appreciate humour.
" more then a little" he said he kissed me again. He pressed himself against me and i could feel his hardening. " sometimes i wonder what i would do if i didn't have you"
" if you didn't have me you might not have to be going threw all of this" i said, he frowned. He hated how pessimistic i could be at times, especially where we where concerned.
" but i would still be dwelling on Gabrielle" he said " i would still be oblivious to the truth" he kissed me again. " yeah okay you can say if i didn't know you i wouldn't have known Micky or had a job at chasers, but none of that changes that you have helped turn me into a stronger person then i was before"
There wasn't much i could say to that. It made me feel all warm inside, the presence of troy made me more confadent more self aware more empathetic and more then who i was before. Something that had only ever been a fantasy had become my reality and to know he thought just as highly of me as i did of him was beyond words. But that being said. Troy had become my only reality.
We had sex after that, it was the ultimate saving grace in a time like this. When death was involved pot just didn't cut it when it came to trying to forget. But sex helped significantly. It was only after orgasm that the cold hard truth of this afternoon set in.
Troy
after the casket was in the ground, Naomi broke down in a way that hurt the soul. The harsh reality that Micky was dead had clearly set in and the girl had become a mess. As annoying as i had found the girl when she dropped subtle hints of attraction to no avail i couldn't help but feel guilty. I promised i would be there for her, that night after everything. I remembered her coming from behind the bar rattled and afraid when she saw Micky's limp cold body, it was like the life left her.
If there was one thing to be said about Naomi it was that she loved all of her friends. And now she had lost a friend and now she needed one more than ever.
" oh god" she sighed. " why did i even put on makeup?" she cried again for a few seconds before taking deep breaths. I rubbed her back warmly. Ryan had gone with josh and Sharpay to get some more beer. As bad as Naomi had taken it had struck josh harder then any. His best friend his roommate. It was more then anyone could handle, Sharpay was doing a good job of being there though. I could sense an air of uneasiness from Ryan all day. Why i had no idea but i couldn't shake the feeling that once again he was dwelling on something important and not telling me. And once again it was happening at the worst possible time.
It frustrated me to say the least, both his reluctance to tell me the truth and the fact that i barely acknowledge the fact that he was struggling in his own way while i have been coming back to life in so many words. It made me feel sick knowing that i wasn't sure i could deal with the distance we still had. I have put all of my cards on the table and he had not. And beyond that the guilt of thinking about how angry i am him at such a time was making me feel worse. " two more days..." i sighed
" what?" she asked wiping her eyes. I turned to her and she looked sad and tired. " oh, yeah new york"
"i hate to be leaving at a time like this" i said knowing now was not the time to be talking about it. " i just..."
" i know what it is" she said " you have your own problems, so you want to escape from them even if it means leaving behind people you care about in a time if need" her demeanour had become cold and distant. As i had learned it was something she did when she was upset and knew there was nothing she could do besides be hateful.
" its not like that" i said then when i thought about it, it sort of was, but that didn't mean i didn't care, i was here now with her helping her, or at least i thought i was. But she wouldn't see it that way she would only see what everyone always sees which is their own priority's. I hated playing who had the biggest tragedy, whose problems where worse, i hated it all. As cliche as it sounds, there are people around the world who know what awful is, and they weren't siting in this room.
" than what is it like troy?!" she said, as if any answer i could give would be stupid, the superiority in her voice was so condescending.
" how about i want to do something with my life before it is too late" i said " how about , Albuquerque has nothing for me anymore and its time for me to go..." it felt final, it was final.
" nothing at all..." she said , her voice scratchy from crying. She turned to me. I realized at that moment how close we where siting on her couch. She looked up at me. " you wouldn't even miss me?"
i looked down at her, her resemblance to gabby was almost uncanny at that moment. It had reminded me of the night at lava springs when everything was falling apart for us, how bad i wanted to just hold her and work things out with her, how upset she was." i would" i said looking at nothing, i dont know where the thoguht had come from but Suddenly where was something wet in my mouth and i realized it was Naomi's tongue. I felt the arousal grow but then the burning feeling of anger struck my stomach. Then i heard something drop on the other side of the room.
" wow..." i heard breathlessly, i pushed Naomi off of me and wiped my lips with the back of my hand, i turned and Ryan was standing there eyes wide face flushed. He didn't look angry, he just looked stunned. No more stunned then i was. I just looked at him i couldn't speak i couldn't do anything. I felt my head moving and realized my head was shaking back and fourth. No...
" no" i said almost choking. This wasn't supposed to happen, i wasn't supposed to kiss Naomi, Ryan wasn't supposed to see that just happen because it wasn't supposed to happen at all. " Ryan" but the words turned to tears.
" I'm, I'm just..." he said lazily pointing at the door. He backed up and i stood quickly but he moved faster to the door bumping into Sharpay on his way.
" where is he going?" she asked . I grunted and widened her eyes. Naomi just sat in the couch confused. I made for the door but Sharpay blocked it with her arm. " what the fuck just happened troy?"
" i didn't" i felt the sting of tears growing stronger. Josh looked at me with red and puffy eyes. This wasn't happening. " i need to leave, now"
" what is the big deal?" Naomi said unphased.
" he is everything TO ME!" i said unable to control my anger " and you have taken it all!"i pushed passed Sharpay and ran from the building. His car was nowhere to be scene. " fuck!" i yelled long and loud. People one the street looked at me like i was crazy.
Why had i let her kiss me? Why did i let it happen? Why did i forget about Ryan? He was the best thing that had ever happened to me and i had let it slip away with a dumb mistake, i had been absent minded and careless and i had led Naomi along for so long, I should have told her she should have known about my feeling for Ryan all along but i got complacent and let it go on and now i was paying for keeping it from her.
I called Ryan's cell, wandering aimlessly threw town not for the first time this summer. He didn't answer which i expected, i closed my eyes to stop from crying. We had built so much and it was all falling apart and i just needed to see his face, to let him know that it wasn't what i wanted that i want him and only him. It struck me then that anyone else besides Ryan just didn't feel right he was the only one. There was no gabby, no Naomi. It was just Ryan and i was realizing it now when was losing him.
Ryan please talk to me
i text-ed breathing in and out. I didn't want to fall apart again i needed to get away. Then i thought about where Ryan would go if he wanted to get away. I haled a cab on the side of the street. " 666 green tarries" i said to the cabbie as i claimed in. He nodded and i leaned my head back holding my hand over my eyes. This is where he would be if he wanted me to find him. I knew it would.
I felt nerves course threw me. What if he didn't want to see me at all, what if he wouldn't hear me out and he hated me. This was always one of his deepest fears that i didn't care about him that it was an experiment that i really did like girls, i had reassured him so many times and then i had done that to crush his hopes and reassure his doubts. Even if he did still love me and believe me he would never truly trust me ever again. When we arrived on the street i saw construction. I paid the cabbie and at first i thought it was street construction until i reached the old abandoned house. It wasn't so old or abandoned anymore. It was being restored.
An elderly woman walking a tiny little cotton ball of a dog walked by. " there fixing up 666?" i asked her. She looked up at the newly modelled home.
" a young couple finally bought it " she said " so nice to see that place getting a family again" she continued on her way and my heart sank he was not here and i wonder if he knew about the house being bought, it would explain why we had never gone back since that one morning. Either way i was alone and had no way of getting to Ryan at this point. I could go to Sharpay's but it would get me nowhere. I sat on the curb looking at the old house , having no idea what to do next.
Sharpay
i opened the door to my apartment. "Ryannnn!" i yelled. " are you here?" i made my way threw the apartment as josh made his way to the couch to sit and sulk like he had pretty much done since he found out. I sighed, i don't know what had happened between my brother and troy but i think i had an idea and if the idea was correct then i wanted nothing more then to find my brother and make him see reason. Sharpay would have acted in anger and spite but regardless of what happened in the seconds before we walked into Naomi's house troy loved Ryan. " he isn't here"
" where do you think he went?" josh asked. " what exactly happened anyway?" he was just as stumped as i was.
" i think Ryan saw troy and Naomi kissing" sharpay said " or more like Naomi kissing troy but ether way he saw something that made him flee the building and reduce troy to tears"
josh looked over his shoulder. " what about new york?"
" i don't know" i said with a a concerned shrug. What was troy thinking letting himself get in that position, i have no doubt that he didn't instigate the kiss, i had faith that troy loved Ryan and if i had any doubt about his sexuality that was quickly rectified after hearing them have sex threw the walls of my apartment. I don't believe troy would throw what he has with Ryan away for a pretty girl with cheep makeup. But still it angered me that this had to happen for them now out of all times. I called him again and it rang and rang and rang and then suddenly.
" hey Shar" he said stuffy.
" Ryan where are you?" i asked worried. I didn't want him doing anything stupid.
" there are some things i have to do" he said " I'm not coming home, I'll send for my stuff but i have decided to go to new york early" my eyed widened and i put the phone on speaker. Josh turned around." i got any early flight and i am leaving on a red eye tonight."
" whoa Ryan don't you think that's a little hasty?" i asked " look i don't know what you saw, i mean i do but you have to understand i don't think troy..."
" i know, i know he didn't mean to, i know he is sorry i know all of that" he said sounding in almost tears. " i just need time, i need time and i need time alone to think and just be"
I sighed. I understood Ryan's need to leave to get away but i couldn't get rid of the feeling that he was making a huge mistake leaving troy behind. Troy didn't have a plan he didn't have a life without Ryan but could i truly say that was a bad thing? Maybe it was for the best. Maybe Troy needed to learn to stand on his own. I just wish it wasn't happening under these circumstances " Ryan how are you going to pay to live in york. You have no money"
Ryan sighed" you wanted to know where i am" he said " I'm at the bank, when dad cut me off he took 8 million out of my account"
" but our trust fund had 12..." then i realized.
" i transferred 4 million to a privet account with a different bank, i used forged documents on the letterhead of dads office down town, i have all i need for a long time, for both troy and me but for now i just need to be by myself"
i didn't know what i could say to any of this. He wanted to leave i couldn't stop him and i doubt anyone could, all troy could do now was make things worse and it sounded as though Ryan was a few more licks of drama away from a mental breakdown. I could only imagine how troy feels. " do i even get a goodbye?" she asked. " come home and pack a bag at least" i couldn't just let him leave like this.
" this place was never my home" he said " but i will come by for some stuff, I'll see you later" he hung up the phone.
" should i leave?" josh asked clearly feeling awkward. That was the last thing i wanted. It was stupid but i felt like maybe Ryan would change his mind if more people told him to stay.
" i might need you" i said " i wont want to be alone tonight" he stood up and pulled me into his arms.
" you aren't afraid of being here alone" he said " you used to be here alone before Ryan moved in"
i nodded " i guess i have gotten used to a lot of company it will be weird not having that"
"well i will always be here, in fact i wanted to ask" he looked upset but he had looked upset all week. " its soon i know but i don't have a lot of other options, could i... maybe"
" move in?" i asked. The idea had been on my mind all week as well, he couldn't afford to live on his own even if Micky didn't contribute as often, he couldn't do it on his own. I hadn't known josh long but i felt like that didn't matter, i felt a deep connection something i had never felt before and in the almost two months since i had met him there had been no feuds no anger no fights between the two of us. Maybe he was the one, i don't know, we had taken it slow and comfortable and now the idea of him living with me didn't sound awful. He blushed and i smiled. " that actually sounds like a nice idea." he smiled and hugged me. It was the first smile i had scene all week and i feel like in this instant he had forgotten about the death of his best friend.
But that was something he would never forget truly, and when i thought of troy and Taylor and even Naomi being there its hard to comprehend how they can function especially troy. When Taylor told me she watched the whole thing saw the bullet hit him in his forehead... I shivered and he frowned. " cold?"
" no, just excited" i lied. He smiled.
" maybe we can get some of my stuff this weekend?" he asked. I nodded and walked back to the couch together. We lay there watching movies for a few hours, we watched the transporter but for the second when i picked he is just not that into you he didn't protest. I was glad he was the kind of guy who could sit threw a romantic comedy without complaining but i also took into account the fact that he was probably too upset to even enjoy a movie right now.
About half way through the ugly truth he began to cry, i rubbed his back and told him to take deep breaths. He decided to go to bed not long after that and i stayed up to wait for Ryan. I don't know why he didn't just come straight here but at 9 30 as the sun had finally set and the night sky was dark i heard the click of the door handle. "Ryan?" i asked he came round the corer looking beat. I couldn't imagine why he wanted to be alone threw all of this.
" where's josh?" he asked
" he was tired, he went to bed" i said. He nodded aand made his way to his room. I stood at the door silent as he picked out his favourite things. We walked together to the door and it set in that he was leaving for good . " what time is your flight?" it must be late if he is here only now.
" 12:15 departure to new york" he said, even though he was sad and hurt i could still see the gleam in his eye. New york was his home and it was time for him to go back there and make it work. This time he was stronger, he had grown from the timid shadow of myself that i had allowed him to be and he has become an individual. I knew i couldn't stop him and as for troy well, i needed to be a friend to him when Ryan is gone.
" what should i tell troy?" i asked, it was something i wished i didn't have to ask but i did. He sighed and smiled sadly.
" tell him i love him" he said " tell him that when he is ready he knows where to find me...and uh, give him these" he reached into his pocket and took out the keys to his car. " i don't think i will be needing it where i am going" my eyes widened but it all made sense. We shared a look for about a minute before he pulled me into his arms.
I began to cry. " I'm rally going to miss you, i don't think we have ever been this close" i could see his eyes gloss over.
" i know, i don't say it enough, i know i can be odd" he laughed a tear rolling down his cheek. " but i love you Shar, and hey its only till January right , we are going to take new york together"
" i love you too" i said into his shoulder. " you show our father the fucking bastard that you are better than he will ever be." he smiled and wiped his eyes, i need to stop crying.
He let go of me and walked to the elevator as i watched from the door. " the car will be level four of parking structure A." i nodded, i wouldn't forget. When the silver doors finally shut a silence fell over the apartment that made me want to cry but instead i crawled into bed and passed out next to josh, i found in the dark i couldn't stop the tears from flowing, and i cried until i fell asleep.
Taylor
my eyes cracked and i was screaming again. " you okay?" tally asked beside me in the bed. She had slept over since my parents where out of town. My mother was still unaware about the shooting they had been in Cabo since the second last week in August.
" yeah just, another dream" i said, tally had her legs held up to her chest and was still watching the TV. " still mean girls?"
she nodded. I guess it really was her favourite movie. I looked at the clock it was 6: 45 it was too early again. I was happy the whole of yesterday was gone knowing i no longer had to dwell on chasers and the funeral and i just wished tally weren't having such a hard time of it but she had known Micky longer. And apparently she knew the guy who offed him. As to be expected it was drug violence, a turf thing. This kind of thing was rare but not unheard of.
" I'm gonna have a shower" i said. I walked to my washroom taking my phone off of the night stand. I checked my messages. I had already heard back from Zeke last night but i had yet to here back from Jason. But low and behold he had confirmed and was going to meet me. I showered for about an hour, i knew the water bill would be through the roof, but a hot shower was somewhat therapeutic. I felt better when i came out and saw that tally had finally fallen asleep just as the glare of the sun was spilling threw the blinds.
" i don't hate you because you're fat, you're fat because i hate you" the TV blared. I turned it off. I took my time getting dressed and ready. I was nervous but i realized that i had held this off for too long, my life flashed before my eyes that night and i couldn't leave things like this, unresolved. I walked around my house aimlessly until 9:30 and then decided to get into my car and head to the coffee shop. I wasn't supposed to meet them till 11 but i figured it was better to wait there than to wait here. Tally would be fine, she had no shame when at other peoples houses, she would wake eventually and then eat what she wanted from my fridge and probably have a shower and a few stiff drinks.
The shop had a lot of comers and goers being that it was a week day. I ordered a coffee black and a bagel and waited doing the Sudoku in the morning paper. It was about 10:30 when Zeke and Jason walked into the coffee shop together. Even though i knew they had been in chads corner for the better part of the last year i couldn't help but smile as they approached. I got up and awkwardly hugged them both. " its nice to see you both" i said. Zeke nodded but Jason stood there cold and distant.
" yeah, i didn't expect you to contact us" Zeke said " i half expected to see Kelsey with you or something" i nodded, i hadn't tried to get a hold of Kelsey if i had she would probably of ignored me.
" yeah well i have some stuff i wanted to tell you" i said as calmly as i could. " but before i do i need to warn you you might not like what you here" Zeke frowned and Jason sucked his teeth.
" look I'm done with the drama" Jason said impatiently. " i don't want to here it!" i looked at him with disgust.
" well i am done with the lies so you're going to" i said with a sneer. Zeke shook his head.
" both of you relax" he said " what are you talking about lies, who is lying, can you give us a little more of an explanation?"
"working on it" i said sarcastically. " look there are things you don't know about what happened last year and i think you deserve to know that whatever chad told you isn't true"
Jason scoffed. " of course the bitter ex girlfriend..."
" this isn't about me" i said quickly " not anymore, I'm over it, this is about troy, about the friend you abandoned because you where lied too"
" what lie?" Zeke asked.
" troy didn't attack chad in cold blood" i said " troy walked in on chad and Gabriela having sex" they where both stunned silent. " but you didn't know that, because you thought he had known they where together and that chads intentions where noble when he approached troy , but he never did and troy found them in her room on her bed"
" stop" Zeke said his hand on his forehead as he leaned on the table, Jason looked angry but i wasn't sure if it was because he believed me or if he still doubted me. " oh my god... if this is true"
" why should we believe you?" Jason asked.
" i don't care if you believe me" i said " that's not why i am here, and i don't think troy would care either, he has moved on, he is better than he was before and he is picking up the pieces of his life without you, i didn't come here in the hopes that you would reconcile or become friends because i don't think you deserve it, but what you do deserve is the truth and what you do with it is you're problem"
Jason was clearly taken aback by my bluntness but i didn't care. He was so reluctant to see the wrong in chad it was disgusting, Zeke painted a different picture though, i could see real pain behind his eyes. " look if you hadn't suspected why would you come at all?"
" but... my dad , why would he never?" Jason asked starting to break.
" to protect us" Zeke said . " to protect all of us"
" you mean this whole time he...?" Jason's face was growing read and, he covered his eyes with his arm. " we... we didn't know"
" well now you do, and its too late" i said in contempt. " now you know what it is like then, to lose a friend with nothing you can do about it but watch as they slip away" i got up from the table. Conveniently my coffee was finished.
" why are you doing this huh?" Jason asked pained and in tears. " to see chad get what he deserves?"
i stooped and turned around. " you know maybe if you had put a shred of effort in maybe getting back on the right foot with troy, you might have found out the truth about all of this earlyer but you stuck to chad like glue and now troy is beyond you. He's moving to new york and Albuquerque will forever be a bad memory to him" i said simply. " and the people who did open up to troy, well they are all he needs now, Jason i did this to see all of you get what you deserve" i walked out of the coffee shop and out of Zeke and Jason's lives just as i had with chad. And for the first time since this had all started i felt good.
Troy
My back hurt like hell, and the sun was not helping with the head ache i currently sported. I pulled out my cellphone and shone it in my eye by accident sending a wave of nausea, the half empty bottle of Jim bean was siting beside the wooden bench in the roof top garden of east high. My hang over today was worse then any i had had over the course of the summer and i knew it mostly had to so with the fact that Ryan was ignoring me. I don't know where he was or what he was doing and i didn't know how he felt. Well i know how he feels but i needed him to understand how wrong i was. When i was oriented enough to look at my phone i realized i had missed a few texts. All of which were from Sharpay.
Where are you?
We need to talk...
I'm not mad troy but we need to talk
The one person who i thought would tear me a new one was Sharpay and she seemed empathetic to the whole situation, I'm betting she mostly blamed Naomi, if she even knew what happened at all. Did she even know where Ryan was? I needed to get over there quick. But before i could act i noticed i also had a voice mail. I was irked to see Zeke's number on the screen. I sucked my teeth, was this just another attempt to get back with Sharpay? I decided i would listen anyway.
Hey troy i hope you get this, listen... we where wrong,all of us where wrong about everything and...Taylor told us the truth... i don't think sorry can ever cover it i know i just, i am truly sorry i never gave you a chance...
I ended the message before it was over. The throbbing in my head was to much to listen to Zeke's voice. I wanted to smile at the revelation but i found myself just not caring at all. Maybe once months ago i would have jumped at the opportunity to reconcile with my old friends but now i was over it, now i no longer cared about them or what they knew about me.
It figures that this would happen now though, the life i was building for myself was falling apart and the skeletons from my past where starting to surface. The frustration was too much and i buried my face in my arm. I don't want what i used to have. I don't want my old friends back, i don't want to be the basketball star i don't want to be the golden boy. All i wanted was Ryan. I let it all come out. I cried and cried, i don't know how long i cried for but i continued until my eyes where dry and tired. My mouth was dry and i needed a drink of anything bedsides the liquor i had with me but had little options.
I didn't want to go home, i wanted to stay as far away from there as i could get. New york was far away enough. I heard a door below open and froze. This was not the first time i had broken into east high, but back then it had been over looked, I'm not so sure i was welcome here any longer. It was when i heard the steps, that i knew i was truly finished.
Maybe it was better this way, maybe my uncle should press charges and i should get caught for trespassing and go back to the hospital, it was what i had known best for a while and clearly i was having a hard time adjusting to real life.
"Mr. Bolton" i heard from the top of the stairs. " what a curious surprise" i looked up to see the whimsical Mrs. Darbus looking back at me with her knowing smirk, there was something so wise about that look we had shared so often when i needed a guide.
" Mrs. Darbus i..." i said as she walked towards me.
" i thought maybe you wouldn't want to ever come back here, considering your circumstance" she said " but alas, here you are, one can only assume you are at a difficult point in your life, and needed to solve a problem" i raised my eyebrow, how had she known when even i hadn't? " for why else would you seek salvage here?"
" i don't know" i said " i feel like that is the only answer i have any more"
" well" she said sitting down. " maybe that's because you don't know" i had never scene it that simple. I always felt like i was expected to pick up where i left off. And Ryan didn't expect that, he understood i was not the same, he was the only one.
" you where great troy, your future is bright" she said.
" it was bright" i said
" has the future happened yet Mr. Bolton?" she asked " i think not, only you can decide how it pans out" she was right. " if something is broken, find a way to fix it, you never had a problem doing that as i recall"
that ignited something in me, the realization that i was still broken, i was still the same broken person i was when i left the hospital except to Ryan Evans. He was the only one who knew me, he was the only one i grew with, the reason i never knew anything was because i didn't know how to react to anyone besides Ryan. I was socially awkward and inverted around everyone and it was because i was still scared, i was still hurt and i was still damaged. " i should go home" i said.
She smiled her familiar smile and a warmth crept over me. Without even knowing it Mrs Darbus had given me the answer. I needed to be me for myself before i could me us with Ryan. As horrible as it sounds, i was never meant to go to new york, at least not now, right now i needed to become the person i wanted to be. I needed to go home, i needed to come clean, i needed my dad. " of course, but troy, take the Jim bean" i blushed and grabbed the bottle bolting form the building.
I didn't even realize i had scene Darbus for the first time in a year, there were no pleasantries, just a common knowledge and understanding of each other. I ran, i ran threw the park , down streets past on lookers carelessly and arrived at my house. I looked at it from the street. As i was walking to the door i heard the sound of a basketball hitting the pavement and decided i would go around back instead. My dad was running back and fourth shooting at the net, i guess he was getting ready for the new season of basketball at east high. Something i had looked forward too when i was young. I walked across the grass and my dad looked up. He didn't smile but i didn't expect him too.
" hey" i said. He frowned and looked at my eyes. I stood my the net awkwardly and he just fumbled with the ball. " i um... I've been stupid"
" you think?" he said sadly. " troy i cant say i understand what is going on with you, i just want you to know that whatever it is, i love you and i want you to succeed in life, after all of this i just want what is best for you"
I felt the tears welling up again and closed my eyes. I had never given my dad a chance to understand, i had never tried to let him in and now it was like we had become strangers. I held my hand out for the ball and his demeanour changed significantly. " you don't have to you know" he said " if you aren't comfortable" i smiled a little. I never thought he would have picked up on that, i never gave him enough credit. I was realizing quickly that if i hadn't been so stubborn maybe i would have realized that he had been in my corner the entire time.
He passed me the ball and i dribbled for the first time in over a year, i was rusty but we played one on one for almost an hour before i sat on the grass. And my dad sat next to me, a smile that i had not scene since last year. I already felt closer with him but the gap was still quite a distance. I wondered if he was true in his words , that he would love me whatever it is i am going threw. Either way i knew it was time to put it to the test. " dad I'm... I'm gay" he looked at the house.
" i know" he said. I turned to look at him. " i mean i had my suspensions". He had his suspicions, i wondered when these suspicions arose. " you have always been to nice, to understanding, to gentle"
" captain of the basketball team" i rebutted.
" sometimes i feel like that was mostly my dream" he said " it was my passion that had you playing basketball in the first place" i knew it was true since i had played since before i could remember now. But that's not to say i didn't like it, or love it for that matter. " when you started dating Gabriela, i was a little surprised."
" wait you knew that long?" i asked surprised. But we had had so many moments since then so many father so known myself.
" troy i am your father" he said. " i don't care who you love and frankly you could do a lot worse the Evans, look i don't get it, i love your mother and ... tits"
" okay dad" i said putting my hands up.
" well i do" he said " and i guess you just don't, that's fine, ism not going to judge you, i mean troy no one can say you aren't a man threw and threw, look at you for gods sake" i chucked. " you are everything a man could want in a son, and being gay isn't going to change that"
An overwhelming emotion came over me, like a weight being lifted off my my shoulders. I cried freely and my father put an arm around my shoulder " you are a good person, you have done some stupid stuff but you are good and you are going to have a great time in new york with Ryan, its where you were meant to go"
i grimaced, " i don't think i am ready for that" i admitted. But would they let me come home after all i have done.
" that's fine, there is no rush in life, you have a job, you can just take some time to chill and do you, you need it right now" he said. I thought about my job at chasers, i wasn't sure i wanted anything to do with that place anymore, for more reasons than one.
" i might need to find another job" i said, he gave me a questioning look but i moved on. " what about mom?" he looked frustrated for a moment but turned to me none the less.
" i love you troy and i don't say this to hurt you but..."
"mums the word"i said. I couldn't agree with him more. It would only cause turmoil in the house for all of us if she knew the truth. "yeah that much i can agree with." He looked relived and we sat in silence for a few minutes. It was growing later in the day and i realized i still had a few things to do. I needed to tell Ryan i could no longer come with him to new york. It was best for all this way. I don't even know if he still wanted me to even come but the surest way to find out was to go to Sharpay's.
" i know i spend enough time away from here" i said " but there are a few things i need to do, i promise I'll be home before dinner" he shrugged and smiled.
" just" he said with a smile. " do what you need to do troy, we are all in this together right?" i rolled my eyes and got up off of the grass. I crossed the yard with an odd sort of smile. I was far from happy or sane but this reconciliation this sign of mutual respect, it was something at least to count on in all this mess to know my dad is in my corner.
I decided to call another cab from the side walk, i could here the dribble of the basket ball again and smiled, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to play with him every once in a while.
" he left" Sharpay said, by the look on her face she expected me to freak out or start crying, but i was done with crying, i was done with feeling sorry for myself. " are you okay?"
i bit my lip, josh was sitting on the couch looking at me with curious eyes. " did he say anything?" i asked. Sharpay raised an eyebrow at my calm demeanour.
" ye..yeah , he did actually" she said. " he said he loves you, and that when you are ready you know where to find him. I felt a warmth in my heart. He understood i didn't want to kiss Naomi, he was too smart for that, but he realized like i had, that it was for the best at least for now, to part ways. I found myself beginning to laugh, Sharpay looked confused and uncomfortable. But i kept on laughing. Ryan was truly my soul mate, we had both come to the some conclusion and that was enough to know he was the one.
" um thank you" i said with a smile. " thank you that explained everything i needed to know" she nodded a little concerned.
"o...okay" she said " but, he also wanted to give you these" she said holding out a set of car keys awkwardly. " said you might need it more then he does."
" no way" i said blown away.
" yeah, i know" she said " um i wanted to ask, i know you and your parents have been a little off lately, Ryan's room is empty now, if you needed a place to stay"
i wanted that a lot, i wanted to move from home and come live with Sharpay something i never thought would be possible. " it will be like a sleep over" josh said. I scoffed i can imagine it would be fun, but i couldn't, i needed to go home.
" thank you again, but i think i just need to go home" i said. She gave me a sad smile, josh looked sombrely at the TV. I was starting to realize how blessed i was to have a home to go back too, josh didn't have that, he had always stood on his own, just like Naomi and tally and Micky and Sharpay and Ryan as much money as they have didn't know what it was like to truly be nurtured and loved. I wasn't as hard off as i led myself to believe.
" yeah, i understand" she said. " if it was me at that bar i know home is the first place I'd want to be even if my parents weren't there."
i pulled her into a hug which she resisted at first but then warmed into. " we're all going to be okay" i said humorously. She giggled and i pulled away. " I'll see you, whenever"
" yeah, see you whenever" i left after that, i wasn't sure if i would go back to Sharpay's anytime soon, with Ryan it was fun but with her and josh i didn't feel quite like i fit. They had their own world like Ryan and i had ours i would let them have it.
A few days passed and i started looking for a new job, Naomi had left a voice mail explaining she was sorry for her advances, that she was stupid for trying anything knowing how Ryan felt. She said she had suspected. She offered for me to come back to chasers but i wasn't interested, i ended up busing at the olive garden by the end of the first week of job hunting. Ryan's car helped, my mother didn't approve of the fact that i was driving someone else's car and such an expensive one at that but my father brushed it off.
I had just gotten out of the shower after a riveting game of basketball with my dad and the new neighbours across the street. They had moved in during the week and had a son and daughter around my age. I crossed the hallway to my room and my eye caught the calender on my wall. I realized it was September 1st . Today was the day of Ryan's meeting with the admissions board. I decided i was going to go on a ride, it was late but i knew where i was going. I drove over to green tarries and parked on the street in front of the almost newly renovated house that i had thought was haunted as a child. I had thought about weather Ryan knew it was sold all week and i felt the need to ask. I called his cell phone and it rang, and rang , and rang. I prayed he didn't pick up, i didn't want to speak to him, only let him know i was there. Then his answering machine picked up.
" its Ryan, leave a message" beep.
" hey" i said " i uh had no idea what i would say to you if i called, they sold the house on green tarries, i don't know if you knew, i just thought I'd let you know, i love you too and when i am ready i know where to find you... thanks for the car" i hung up and smiled to myself, i started the car and drove no longer feeling so lost in life, suddenly i was being found.
A/N: being found? More like sequel, so i would like to thank anyone who has taken time out to read this story, i hope you liked it and i hope you look forward to the continuation of this saga when i start posting next month. It will be called Being Found and will follow more crazy drama with Troy, Ryan, Sharpay, Josh and Naomi. But for now i will give you a little info on how the next stroy will work.
time jumps ahead till Christmas so there is quite a gap between the end of this story and the beginning of the next.
Taylor will be in the story but her point of view is finished, i feel i no longer have much of a story to tell with her.
Josh will be getting a point of view in the next story, he is the only original character who will be getting one
most importantly, Ryan and troy reunite in the first chapter.
Until such a time i feel like starting that up thank you for reading and TTFN!