Jeez wayne. Thanks to those who continued to read this. Been going through an incredible dry spell. Unless you're an essay about Minoan architecture and such. But here it is. The spur a wondering comment made by Ann. Hopefully I've broke through at least some of my issues. Here it is:

Through a lightening dawn Finn and Alistair looked around them. Bodies of zombies, thank the Maker, met the eye and though there were splashes of red from injuries, some of them critical, there didn't seem to be many, if any bodies of the villagers. Alistair finally managed to grin and looked at his brother warden. They looked as shattered as the others, and though they took the comradely slapped shoulders from those they had fought with, their eyes were scouting the courtyard for their own companions. Before they caught the eyes of any the Chantry doors were struck and the air was filled with the shouted names and cries of loved ones. Sten loomed out of the dark, his sword covered in gore and lackadaisically braced on a broad shoulder, at his side Morrigan, sweat stained but with her eternal scowl lifting a lip. Of all things that Wolf could have been doing, he was lying quite happily at the feet of Murdock tongue out and lolling, the mayor still looked stunned, half disgusted at the bodies of people he no doubt recognised but had helped kill. Leiliana appeared; sweat wiped but still breathing heavily, eyes earnest as she looked over at the others.

"Maharial?"

She asked, picking up first on the one who was not present. Eyes and heads turned to the roof top where she had been seen last, but nothing stood there.

"Crap."

Finn said, turning back to scan the flood of relieved humanity before and around him.

"Bevin! Oh Maker, Bevin!"

A pretty but thoroughly distraught girl had collapsed on the stairs of the Chantry, still calling the name of her lost one. The revered Mother knelt beside her, grabbing her hands and consoling her. Though her shouts died out, every so often within her sobs the name could be heard repeated. Leiliana looked like she too was about to cry, her hands twisting around each other as she looked at the girl. As she turned back to speak to Finn, the red head caught sight of movement from within the silent houses. Her weapons were redrawn, at that the others were ready. Their sudden ferocity drove some villagers to scream, others to look around as if another tide of zombies had appeared. Instead what Leiliana had seen was the awkward shape of Maharial, the boy, Bevin, still holding tight to her, his head resting on her shoulder. She slowly walked towards the large group of people, her mouth moving as she whispered to the boy. He lifted his head, slightly loosening his arms. As he focussed he said a name. The girl sobbing on the stairs lifted her head and managed to find her feet. At his name on her lips he released the elf and slid to the ground to run towards his sister.

I couldn't believe the utter relief that flooded me as I saw the others. My eyes automatically drawn first to Alistair and Finn, to Leiliana then Morrigan and Sten. I didn't release my hold on Bevin, but I spoke to him,

"I can see your sister, she is crying for you."

I felt him lift his head, my neck wet from his tears. As he slid down to sprint towards his sister I felt suddenly bereft and I realised that adrenaline and just getting Bevin back to Kaitlyn had been the thing propelling me. I shuffled to a halt and watched the boy just leap into his sister's arms. I blinked and it took a long time to open them again. Leiliana had appeared at my side, blue eyes peering earnestly into mine. Was that worry on her face? I had saved the boy; the time for worry had been and gone.

"And you?"

I got out; it was enough for her to understand what I was talking about. She nodded but grabbed my shoulder with a suddenness that made me a little pissed. I flinched back, but found that Morrigan was there, her hand sliding to grip the same place as Leiliana.

"What?"

I lowered my head to try and see what was wrong. There was a lot of red and my sluggish mind clicked. Oh, it's mine. I blanched and lifted my head to see Bevin and Kaitlin looking at me as my knees buckled. Didn't feel the ground, but I could feel Morrigan's hands which felt both hot and cold. It seemed as good a time as ever for a nap, so I closed my eyes.

It knew it was a dream. Because I was sitting in one of my old classrooms. Around it almost transparent instruments sat in their cradles, a different kind of audience. I was perched on a tiny stool and I think I was waiting for something. I turned around, automatically thinking of the roofless 'hell' of the Fade. But the roof was solid; the holed panels that were exactly the same as I remembered from my…before life? I thought that that would be enough to kinda jolt me awake, but nada. The instruments were as beautiful and tantalising as ever, but I couldn't move. I jerked my eyes down to my shoulder when I remembered what I had done. By God I've been shot! Well no, but still partly appropriate and sounded better than, By God, I've been viciously wounded by a zombie with a bad nail maintenance plan! There wasn't anything there, just a whole sleeve of my smashing pumpkins tee, no seep or stain of blood. I turned towards the door as I heard footsteps heading towards the room and in the faint reflection of the glass insert; I saw blonde hair and the purple eyes of Maharial staring back at me. Then the door opened and Kane's head popped around the corner. Now I could move, I came to an angry stand, but didn't stalk towards him to punch him like I wanted, but I knew death was in my gaze,

"Fuck you Kane."

His eyebrows angled down all hurt, but he advanced into the room. Instead of being dressed in jeans and a singlet, he wore armour, silver coloured gauntlets and leather gloves. Dark black stains on the front of the armour, from a night of battling putrid demons.

Seeing that jolted me awake, eyes immediately open and focussed on the stained glass far above me, casting the makeshift beds some still occupied with a yellow and rose tint. I looked at the eye shape dominant in the design, flames erupting from the oval. If anything it reminded me of the eye of Sauron, right genre I guess, but wrong universe. It made me smirk; I bet the Creators were having a field day with my mind at the moment. I sighed, rolled to my, uninjured side (never thought I'd say that) and sat up. Very slowly. The whole time not looking at my shoulder or really acknowledging it was there, but I did register that it felt heavy and kinda…blunt.

"Maharial?"

I didn't turn my head, instead letting the speaker come into my vision. I was surprised at her smile, and how it seemed relieved, but the small grin I gave in reply was genuine.

"Hello Leiliana, I guess I have you and Morrigan to thank for the fact that I did not bleed out."

So I had decided on a slight amount of humour to defuse the fear of dying that had surged last night. Only when the blank look on Leiliana's otherwise pretty face persisted did I realise that I had spoken in elvish. A language I had no idea I could speak, until last night. I froze for a minute, unsure as to how to undo, or to bring my tongue under normal, English…oh ho. Wait a second or a minute, was I even speaking English? I could feel the pressure begin to rise in my eye balls, and with ferocious will and a thought prayer to Falon'din (another thing that seemed to becoming a common habit) I mustered my tongue and my thoughts and tried again, tentatively.

"Is everyone alright?"

She took my smile as a sort of apology for she slid fully into a kneel, her hands placed on her knees.

"Oh yes, a little tired, but yes they are fine. We are all very worried about you, especially when you appeared out of the night and the smoke, carrying that little boy. The villagers are still speaking about it you know? The Revered Mother said that the Maker had answered the prayers of that girl through you."

The Maker, yeah not today. I chuckled,

"Not the Maker. Just me. Come on, give me a hand."

I could tell she wanted to argue from the glint in her eye, but I kept my arm up and she eventually gave in. I was thankful that she helped me slowly; the distance from a mostly horizontal position to a mostly vertical one had never seemed so massive. I thanked Leiliana silently for the fact she stayed quiet and still for a while letting me get my balance back. I knew I would have to ask her about the village and about my shoulder but once my balance was got I lifted my eyes and let them sweep the Chantry. There were a few others wounded, I recognised a body asleep close by to where I had been. Morrigan. Who looked surprisingly not evil with her eyes closed in sleep. I did find myself tiptoeing after Leiliana towards the doors of the Chantry though. Just in cases. Outside the air held much less the stench of menace, though that of rotten bodies still lay heavy within it. But I could smell the breeze off the lake and I found myself leaning into it.

"How bad?"

"Your arm?"

"The village and that I suppose. Did we lose many?"

I was glad that my voice was unbroken, I don't think until that moment that I had registered that actual people had died. That even in the midst of last night I had still possessed a video game 'restart' mentality.

"Enough. That boy, Tomas, at the end. A few others, but even for that loss we saved many that to be honest I don't think thought would see the light of morning. Including that boy Bevan."

I cut her off before she could go on about the entrance and the light and bring a lute into it and song and dance.

"Can I use my arm?"

"I think that Morrigan would wish to look at it when she awakens, but it is much better now than it was."

I turned towards the Chantry again, now was as good a time as any to wake the witch up. But the reappearance of Alistair and Finn, both thoroughly cleaned though not rested, heading towards us and the church halted that idea.

"You're up."

Genius. I think it coloured my face a little though I was careful not to say the words. I guess my mind was still superimposing my dream and Kane over my now. Finn saw it and frowned. Well frowned harder.

"I am. I hear that you did well. You go to talk to Teagan?"

"We go to see the Bann, yes."

"Fuck you."

Now then, that actually did come out. But in elvish which I cannot repeat for the life of me. But I think my tone well and truly conveyed my reaction to Finn's sour words.

"Ah, well yes. We do go to see both the Bann and Teagan."

"To broach the topic of broaching the castle, as it were?"

"Yes."

Finn literally stalked off, leaving us three behind. Alistair looked after the man and then back to Leiliana and I. Before he could explain Finn's behaviour or apologise for it I found myself speaking.

"I see, no sleep compounding the issue of last night. You'd better catch up to him Alistair."

"Aren't you coming?"

I had lost all interest in putting up a fight against Kane…Finn. My two words to him seemed to have been a release of all tension regarding our weird and mostly angry relationship. I shrugged, suddenly aware that Alistair was damp but clean, and Leiliana was nearly sparkling in the morning sunlight.

"I think I'll go to the lake."

I walked off, I don't know what their facial expressions were, just leaving them to it. I knew that they would hurry after Finn; after all they had an infiltration mission to plan. I just wanted the gunk of zombie bodies and blood, my own, off me. And yes a perverse interest into the wound I had received. Whether it would scar, but mostly to look at it and try to totally yank myself into the real world that I had fallen into. I don't think using the word 'suddenly' totally applied anymore.

I sat on the end of the jetty; it was only a hand span away from the surface of the water. My feet were already well soaking but it was taking a while to get my nerve back from whatever hidey hole it had found.

"Do you think you'll be long?"

I leaned over the water, half expecting to see a fish or seal with Morrigan's face. Nothing. So I leant back and looked into the sky, no ravens with her smirk on their bills, beaks…heads. The witch sat next to me, but didn't draw her feet from her boots to soak beside me. Probably didn't want me to see her cloven hooves. Ha! The snort I gave was received with a curled eyebrow, but even though she would probably cuff me if I told her, she wouldn't get the reference, being an atheist and everything. Instead she crossed her ankles,

"Are you going to let me look at it?"

I undid the laces of the shirt and drew it off, a sort of 'protest' or something, I'm not too sure really. But I was super-duper glad that I had that odd band bra thing on that I wore under the armour to avoid nipple chaffing (I heard from Leiliana it sucks, which made sense. PS Morrigan doesn't wear a bra. But I could see her in nipple tassels. Uhm, carry on.) Her fingers were hard as she, yeah I'll say yanked, the bandage away from the site of zombie carnage. I couldn't see her face so I have no idea what to expect. Apparently it was okay, because she yanked the cover all the way off and ran a nail over what felt like the epicentre of doom. I very bravely mewed my disapproval.

"Would have been better not to get struck at all."

"Yes, I imagine it t'would. It t'was also a choice 'tween myself and a child."

I had gone for a piss take. But even as the words fell out of my mouth, it faded away.

"Turned out not to be choice after all."

The last sentence was a whisper. I was learning stuff about myself all the time.

I thought Morrigan would leave me after that. Hell I thought that she would leave straight after checking out my shoulder. But she stayed. She was probably bored. Or she was as weary of Sten as I was. Okay, scared. I was scared of Sten. The sound of footsteps approaching had me pulling my feet from the water and standing. One hand angling for the hole in my shirt. I offered the other to Morrigan. She stared at it for a few moments before taking it. I don't think I had really reflected on the childhood that she had or hadn't had. Deep in the forest of the Wilds, with crazy witch face Flemeth. I hadn't thought of a lack of friendship, and I suppose neither had she. If you don't know something how can you miss it? It would require more musing upon, later. The footsteps had been the mayor's…can you have a mayor and an Arl? Any-hoo, his gruff beard/moustache combo still made me grin.

"Hello Murdoch."

He stuttered a little. I put this down to the rather skimpily clad witch/woman next to me.

"Uh, there's a bit of a ruckus coming from the mill house."

"Let me guess, it would be the illustrious Alistair being the ruckiest?"

Can't say it was one of Morrigan's best. But I knew who was at the root of the disturbance. Morinth. No wait the other one, Isolde. Couldn't stand her in the game, real life wasn't shaping up to be too hot either.

I didn't really remember it being this steep, but while 'I' wasn't puffing, the interior mental me was. Like a train. But I did take perverse joy in the fact, though damp and bare footed…feeted? I was looking quite a lot better than the newcomer. Her gown had been lovely but was now stained and more than a little ruffled, her hair was dragged back out of her face, I suppose she was kinda pretty. And I feel a bit bad, though her face was full of worry and haggard, I still felt a rush of just ick, for her. Apparently, more to my shock, our appearance was greeted with an opening of the sacred circle of friends to allow me and Morrigan entrance (I swear she had followed me just to rip the shit out of someone, God I hoped it was Isolde. I'm a meanie.) But not only that, Leiliana's face shone relief (for moi?) and ready for it, even Finn, why yes Finn, looked at me, well mostly with the look that kind of said, someone with a modicum of sense. Which is odd, the fact that he thought that not that I did actually contain sense. Teagan gave a little half bow to me, that wasn't missed by Isolde, but she bit her tongue. I smiled at him,

"Aneth'ara Teagan."

"Teagan, you must come with me."

A subtle ploy to get all attention on her. It kinda worked; Leiliana took the time to lean over to me.

"Arlessa Isolde. She wants Teagan to go back to the castle with her."

Succinct. I shrugged,

"Sounds like an ambush."

There it was. Derision, dragging up her Orleisian nostril. She 'deigned' to look at me.

"Such impertinence!"

"What? For an elf?"

Oooooo. It was great. Morrigan smiled, Leiliana grinned. Alistair was shocked; Finn's face went even more like marble, Teagan I swear his eyes were in hysterics, Isolde though clambered over her tongue.

"Wh, wh…No. But."

I smiled. I wanted to laugh, but then the smile was gone. A vision of Bevin as the Demon. This was not a game anymore. It was real. Isolde might be a bitch, in a shit storm of her own creation but it was her son and her husband. Shit's real.

"Teagan, if you propose what I think you're going too, you are not expendable."

Teagan looked at me, brow slightly furrowed. He nodded and spoke quietly to Isolde, she clung to his hand before walking off. The guard at her side as worn as the woman he protected.