Title: Life for me ain't been no crystal stair
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Title from Langston Hughes.
Warnings: Warnings for violence/torture/death and everything involved with the existence of the Winter Soldier. Also, maybe a smidge of implied organized crime? Speculation on Avengers2.
Pairings: Steve/Bucky
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1785
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any; Any; 5 pasts, 1 future
6
"Hey, stop!" he hears from where he's curled up on the ground, covering his head with his arms. "Get outta here, all'a ya!"
The feet kicking him all stop, but he doesn't trust it, so he stays down.
And then, "Hey, kid, y'alright?" The voice sounds younger when it's softer. A hand nudges his back. "You alive in there?"
He uncurls carefully, wincing at the pain.
"C'mon," the voice says and he raises his head to see a boy about his age, maybe a little older, bigger, with dark hair and pale eyes, holding out a steady hand. "Let's get you home."
13
He actually didn't mean to this time, but it doesn't matter - their pride is ruffled, the three Miller boys, and Steve's still sore from that cough he had last week.
He fights back, of course, but it's not long before he's down, all curled up tight, and he's glad Bucky's not here, because even the smallest Miller boy is bigger than Bucky, but then he hears, "Leave him alone or I'll make you, you hear me?!" and he wants to get up and help Bucky, but he can't catch a full breath.
Finally, Bucky's hand is on his back and he murmurs, "C'mon up, Steve, they're gone."
Bucky's got a split lip and a black eye and Steve wishes he were bigger so that Bucky would stop getting hurt for him.
.
19
Ma's been gone for three months and he still wakes up every day having forgotten until he thinks about what breakfast might be. Today is her birthday.
He nearly rolls over to go back to sleep but – he's got work, actual work this week, and he needs to start paying Bucky back because he knows the money would be better spent on Bucky's baby sisters than on him.
So he gets up, goes to work, works through lunch, and then purchases a single flower to take to Ma's grave.
It's on the way back that he gets into trouble.
Bucky had told him to avoid this street unless Bucky was with him, but didn't want to explain why. It's a shortcut from the cemetery to the apartment, and he thought it'd be fine at this time of day, but six toughs are circling him, looking angry, and he just. He's so tired.
He fights, of course he fights, and then Bucky is there. Steve's collapsed against the wall, watching as Bucky tears through the men, silent and cold as stone. After the first two go down, the rest flee, and then Bucky turns that glare on Steve.
"You are so fuckin' stupid, Rogers!" he shouts, fists clenched. "I told ya, didn't I, I told you to wait for me!"
"I just wanted to visit her grave," Steve mumbles.
Bucky closes his eyes and rubs at his face before sighing. "I'm sorry, Stevie. You gotta be more careful, though." He walks over and leans down, offering a hand. "Let's get you home."
.
22
Bucky got in another argument with his folks and Steve knows it's over how much his medicine costs. He can't even move from the bed, his body hurts so much. Bucky hasn't been back all day and he'll be staying out tonight, too, looking for extra work.
Steve likes Bucky's parents; Ms. Winnie and Ma had been good friends since they were girls. But he understands, and he wishes Bucky did, too, that the girls come first. Bucky thinks they're all equal. They're not, though. The girls should always come first.
In the morning, Steve forces himself out of bed. He cleans up as best he can, puts on his neatest clothes, and goes looking for anyone who needs help doing anything.
There's nothing, of course. One of the assistants actually chases him away from Mr. Malloy's shop and Steve trips as he dodges, going down hard. The boy leaves him there and it takes every piece of Steve's will to get up.
He keeps looking until dusk. By the time he drags himself back into the apartment, he feels even worse and he just wants to sleep.
He wakes up to Bucky gently pulling his clothes off. "You went out, didn't you?" Bucky asks.
Steve nods, eyes drifting closed again.
Bucky sighs, but he's quiet until he crawls in beside Steve and pulls Steve against him. "Look, stop trying to do everything yourself," he says softly, resting his cheek on the top of Steve's head. "I'm here. I'll always be here."
.
25
Bucky hasn't been the same since Steve pulled him off that table. He doesn't talk about any of his experiences before the factory, either; he just offers Steve advice on his plans, explains what some of the orders they get actually require for implementation, and keeps the guys from killing each other.
Sometimes, it seems like Bucky's the only thing that keeps them all going.
Other times, Bucky just gets so angry, but instead of lashing out, he goes quiet. He'll just simmer until they have a raid and then – well, prisoners are a good bonus, but it's not like they have the supplies to care for any plus themselves.
Steve wishes, though, that Bucky would talk to him. He offers every night but Bucky doesn't take him up on it. Bucky just pulls on that charming grin that kept his dance-card full back home, like Steve hasn't been able to see past it since they were boys.
It's a mission like any other, like the dozens they've done, when Steve gets separated from the Commandos, turned all around in another factory (they keep building them just as fast as Steve and the rest blow them all to hell), and then he's hit with – fuck, he doesn't even know. It's not the energy weapon, or regular bullets, it's something…
He goes down and the last thing he hears is Bucky: "Steve? Steve!"
Steve wakes up stretched out beneath the stars. He can hear the Commandos nearby, just quiet rumbles; he can't make out any words. And then Bucky is leaning over him, saying, "Don't you ever do that again, ya hear?"
"Wha-what happened?" Steve slurs out. He tries sitting up, but Bucky gently pushes him back down and Steve doesn't have the strength to fight him.
"What happened is that Hydra tested out a new weapon on you. Whatever that was, it knocked you out." He tries smiling but can't hold it. "I thought you were dead." He pats Steve's chest before pulling his hand back. "We have no way of knowing if the specs for that weapon were stored elsewhere, but every person in that facility is dead, so here's hoping."
Jim slips in next to Bucky and says, "You were supposed to call me the moment he woke up, Sarge."
"Sorry," Bucky says not sounding sorry at all. He stays close for Jim's quick medic check but as far as Steve can tell, there's no lasting effects. Whatever that was, it completely wears off within the hour.
When Steve suggests they head out, return to base to report the new weapon, Bucky just looks at him. "We'll move at dawn, Captain," he says flatly. "Until then, you keep on resting."
Steve looks at him right back, head tilted, and Bucky just raises an eyebrow. After a long moment, Steve says, "We'll stay here till dawn and move out at first light."
He doesn't mean to fall asleep but he wakes again to Bucky leaning against him, face pressed into his shoulder, murmuring, "Don't you dare leave me behind, not ever. Jeeze, Stevie, how many times do I gotta tell ya? I'm with you 'til the end of the line. Don't forget it, pal."
Steve wants to reassure him, to hold him – but if he lets on that he heard, Bucky will play it off. So he closes his eyes and lets himself fall back asleep.
.
98 / 28
When Ultron pulls Steve's attention away from Hydra – well, Steve can admit he was a bit graceless about it. But Stark called him for help, and saving the world is more important than finding one man.
If he's a bit more careless, just a little angrier – well, he's got cause.
It isn't until things with Ultron are winding down that Natasha says, "Steve, you should look at this."
Someone's been hitting the most secret Hydra bases, the ones that aren't even whispers. Hydra's down to almost nothing and Steve knows, he knows that there's only one person it can be.
"Steve," Natasha says, exchanging a look with Sam, "you should be prepared for the worst case scenario. Don't let hope get the better of you."
She's told him all about how Hydra made Bucky Barnes into the Winter Soldier. She went over that goddamned file with him page by page because he had to know, he had to understand what happened to Bucky while he slept in the ice. And then he systematically went after every piece of Hydra he could find and tore it down. He was only ever treating the symptoms, not the cause.
But this, though – he examines every single report, and with Natasha and Stark, pin-points where Bucky must be. He tries to go alone but they won't let him.
They don't trust Bucky. Intellectually, he understands. Emotionally, he's pissed as all hell about it.
For an entire day after they track him down, Bucky stays in the wind.
It's not until Steve sneaks away (and he's pretty sure the team lets him, which just pisses him off even more) that Bucky finally approaches.
Steve has no idea what to say. He just watches Bucky slowly walk towards him, heart in his throat, and he wants –
"I cut off the very last head," Bucky says.
"I know," Steve replies, and he fidgets his fingers to keep from grabbing at Bucky and pulling him in.
"I – I have to go home now," Bucky says, eyes darting from Steve to behind him. Steve doesn't turn but he knows that means at least one of the others is approaching.
"No, Bucky, don't leave," Steve says, just barely keeping himself still.
"Stevie," Bucky says, meeting his gaze, "I'll find you again, I promise. But you're safe now. That's all I wanted."
As Bucky turns away, Steve shouts, "Let him go! That's an order." Natasha, Stark, and Sam all step up next to him to watch Bucky vanish into the sunset.
"I coulda got him with a tranq," Barton mutters from Natasha's other side.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Steve," Natasha says.
Bucky looked healthy, clean, and happy. He wanted Steve to be safe. He said he'd find Steve again.
For the first time in two years, Steve knows everything will be okay.