You know something? I really love food. Like a ridiculous amount. And right now stuffing dinner (so much food) into my face is the closest to awesome that I've felt in ever. And I haven't the worst table manners, cos Alistair and Finn are sitting close to me. And I don't even care. It probably wasn't that good, the food, the whole boil it till it's a uniform grey colour still applies but I really don't mind. Prolly because it was food and there was a plan. An actual, actual plan. That three 'Wardens' had come up with, yay. Even if you ignore that fact that I have been numbered among the Wardens, it is still a good thing. Alistair had brought it up first, the way Teagan included me, irrespective of the fact I was an elf, a dalish, shock horror, and female, even more shock horror. That morphed into a conversation that danced around me relationship with the demon Connor and my knowledge of things. I concurred on Teagan and raised them Perth, Finn countering with my mostly useless behaviour not including last night, thus far.

"So you aren't a Warden?"

Kind of a futile question, but I indulged Alistair, though I think he was at least partly hoping that I was actually a senior Warden who could give them answers to all questions and had Loghain's head on a platter hidden under the desk.

"You cannot sense me can you? A blot of taint sitting in my chest."

They looked at me like I was crazy. And I totally was. I didn't have a plan, but there were threads linking thoughts and perhaps the barest schematic in my head,

"I think it matters not what I am, what I think is important is that the others do."

Perhaps I was actually channelling more of the dalish with that sentence.

"Do you know how many Wardens there were at Ostagar?"

"Couple dozen. Some were only the camp a short time, scouting I think in the Wilds."

"Then for all intents and purposes, you are it. Two to end the blight. Two with a price on their heads from the self-proclaimed Regent."

"We are well aware of the shit situation we are in Maharial. It does not explain how you have become the third."

I sighed. My brain hurt.

"Look at me. Teagan, Perth, even whatever is in Connor. I'm an elf, a dalish whatever that means to them, but an elf nonetheless. It could be the fact that I am in your august company, but I have a feeling that they think I am a Warden."

Eek.

"And I propose that we use it to our advantage. As much as we can."

Silence. Not that I hadn't been expecting mind you.

"How?"

Oh Finn, you flatter me.

"It might not give Loghain pause, but maybe the rumour that more than sorry 'junior' wardens survived may make him I don't know, slower to react? Perhaps cautious, perhaps nothing. It gives us a bit more in terms of man power. I know some stuff, enough to fool some people. If the aim is the end of the blight, this might give us a bit more of a chance."

"How do you know?"

Common sense my dear Watson.

"It is what I would think if I were he. Aside from the threat we know the spawn to be, the Wardens are the biggest threat to his regency yeah? Regardless of the fact he thinks he killed them at Ostagar, he realises that whatever remnants that are left are still a threat. And a senior Warden, perhaps even more so."

Finn looked like he was thinking, eyes focussed on the far wall, and blow me down, but Alistair also looked like he thought hard too. I was just so eager to mire myself even more when it came two these two… Now that made me think, I actually thought I could help them, that they would let me help them? I mean what had a brought to the table so far, a few okay placed arrows, a little boy saved from zombies… That kinda was it really and they looked like they were actually going to let me do something that was like treason… do they have that here? Would it be okay as long as it was in service to ending the blight? I knew my eyes were by now the size of saucers and probably swallowing my whole face.

Regardless of how Finn felt, and Alistair (though I think that the later was totally fine with me joining the ranks) the announcement of food was probably the only thing that would have roused him anyway. I only thought of how they had cooked with the castle and town in such disarray for a second before I was feeding my face. There were no tables, and there were still guards at each door, and no doubt peppered all over the castle and the stairs leading to Connor, It, the demon. We sat mostly on the ground or on stairs where some guards had died a few hours previous. It didn't seem to matter right now. Leiliana had drawn the short straw and sat on the same stair as me, slightly down from Alistair and Finn. At any other time I would have totally felt less than human (ha) and less than female when I saw her alight next to me. Alight, I know! She ate daintily, even using a scrap of rag as a napkin. She caught my eye, I guess I had paused too long and she'd figured I was comparing me quite easily to the shining examples of etiquette to my right. A slender brow rose and I really wanted to poke my tongue out, but it was probably covered in meat and stuff so I just tried to ignore the shine of fat on my chin and stubbornly hoped there were no runnels of saliva. That last thought disturbed me so I reached for the 'napkin' that had been placed next to our plates but had so far mostly been ignored. As I patted un-daintily my chin, I did not see Jowan around the table. Anywhere. Neither did I see Morrigan, but the former annoyed me more. But true to subtle form, yeah right, I turned to Leiliana,

"Jowan?"

Her eyes flicked to Teagan, uncomfortably pressed against a totally unrepentant Wolf.

"He is locked in the dungeons still."

"Did they know?"

She knew of whom I spoke,

"They were with you when they checked whether he still lived."

"Has he seen a healer?"

Her brows angled down,

"He was tortured. Has he seen a healer?"

A slight shrug lifted her shoulders. I could detect no sadness for his treatment or what she thought of the man, though she had been there when they had first encountered him. I stood, placing my plate to the side. Eyes followed me, but no one said anything. I looked at Wolf and flicked my head; and he bounced to my side, tongue lolling. I didn't need anyone to tell me how to get to the basement or the dungeons, I stopped by Perth though. The man was still standing to attention and hadn't looked like he had been doing anything less since I had asked him to find Finn and Alistair earlier.

"I would hope you shall be breaking your fast shortly?"

A small smile lifted his lips,

"My watch will end shortly, my lady."

"Maharial, Ser Perth."

"Very well, then I am Perth."

I was getting good at this stuff.

"Might I trouble you for a spare plate when I return?"

"I will guard it from the others with the strength of my sword arm."

"You'll need it, look at them."

Finn and Alistair were utterly oblivious and I totally didn't blame them.

It was dark, dank and still held severed limbs of those the others had encountered. I had resorted to taking a flaming sconce from the walls, though it took a few wheezing coughs and watery eyes to figure out how to walk without getting sparks and smoke in my eyes.

"Is anyone there?"

It was a sad voice, nearly broken. Wolf found him, teeth bared but he made no sound. His mage robes were stained with blood, lymph and most of his other body fluids. I assume that mages can use un-blood magic even after finding more power in their blood… I really hope he had used the more 'mundane' magic on his injuries. He seemed much more whole than what my imagination had conjured. But he looked really thin. Still there was hope in his eyes when he saw me, not a member of the Redcliffe guards, or the team that had bustled through earlier in the day.

"I am here. And so is Wolf."

"I do not know you."

Couldn't help but smile.

"No, but I know you Jowan. Down to business, you know of what has the boy. Give me your promise that you did not summon it."

"I swear upon anything, what remains of my life, I did not summon the demon."

"Could Connor have done it? The lowest level of mage, through the Fade?"

"That is what I have surmised. Tell me, does the boy still live?"

"He does, how long can he survive? How long can Eamon?"

"Eamon is held to life through the demon, if the boy is killed, its link to this world is severed, so is its power over Eamon."

"What if we use the mages' at the Circle to fight the demon?"

He hung his head,

"I do not know. It is possible Eamon would survive the sundering."

"What if a healer was with him when and if the demon was confronted?"

"All this is possible."

It was so dependant upon timing and what ifs. My version of this, the game's version, was so much easier to comprehend. But the bruised feeling in my shoulder made me aware at each twinge that this was no longer such a version. Eamon would be most useful at the end, if he died would Teagan be able to do what needed to be done? What if Connor died, or Isolde? I looked up as Jowan sighed; he had slunk to the ground, legs and shoulder pressed against the cage doors.

"Why did you do it?"

"He said I could return to the Circle. That what I had done wouldn't matter."

His reply was whisper quiet, head slinking to rest against the cold iron.

"That it would return to the way it was. Did you really believe him?"

"No. Life doesn't work like that."

"But it was worth a try anyway."

His eyes were so sad when they finally managed to meet mine.

"How do you know such things?"

I shrugged; perhaps it was only Maharial who really knew. I looked at Wolf,

"I'm going to do it; can you guard him if it comes to that? He'll do anything to make it right, you can see that can't you. And yes I know Finn probably won't be happy, but he might only the only chance we have ok?"

Wolf looked so dubious, and I had no idea mabaris let alone dogs can do that emotion, but they really can. I waited though until I had a low wuff of assent. I felt a little guilty about the key, didn't know I would be able to pull it off. But it was bound to be the least of my worries. Jowan watched with eyes that I swear were like puppy eyes times a million, as I unlocked the door and offered him a hand. Totally didn't occur to me that he could kill me, and looking at him as he gingerly accepted that lifeline, that it hadn't occurred to him either. Our passage out was slow, Jowan breathing heavily by the time we'd ascended the last steps. I saw Morrigan's eyes glowing as she stepped out from were she had been leaning against the tree. I had known that raven in its top branches had been more than the average corvus.

"You are a little minx aren't you?"

She had known what I was going to ask her before I did. Taking one of Jowan's hands in her own, sending beams? Waves? Of blue healing into him, undoing whatever Isolde's torturer had done to him. A few lines around his eyes eased, but not as many as I thought. Shit, this place is hard. I smiled at Morrigan thinking she'd disappear as she had when the food had been offered.

"Oh no, I want to see this."

She sashayed at my side, Jowan dropping slightly behind. Though Wolf had him catching up pretty quickly. Our passage was halted pretty quickly at the main door.

"He ain't coming in?"

"The mabari isn't? You tried telling him that?"

Not me, but Morrigan this time. The guards answer was to draw a sword. I swear to god sometimes. Oh. I stepped forward batting the sword to the side the flat of my hand, praying that the surprise I felt at the move didn't show on my face.

"I'm sorry?"

And the sword swung back.

"What would it take for you to back down? Jowan, get your arse back here."

I'd felt the passage of his movement backwards, my ears catching the shift in weight and the sound of fabric moving.

"She arrived in the company of two Wardens, and fought for your village. Why do you deny her now?"

Thank you Morrigan, bout time you helped the situation. Jowan had crept back, I didn't care if he looked like the human equivalent of a cowed dog, at least he was staying put. To the guard's credit he didn't look like he was having any sort of fun doing what he was doing, but I can give him points for the fact he was willing to take on a pair of mages and a dalish elf.

"Not only in the company of. Do you think that with your jurisdiction over the main doors you think you can goad me into a Conscription for your benefit?"

Shit, it was like time stopped. All sound stopped and everyone in hearing shot was holding their breaths while simultaneously their mouths fell open. Apparently I did not look like a Warden. Perchance I spoke like one. The sword wavered, but looking into the guard's eyes I knew I had won. His shift to the side and the sheathing of his sword happened at the same time. I opened the door and moved through, doing my utmost to ignore the looks from other guards. I felt the brutality of Perth's change of attitude. He was smiling when he saw me, I assumed gesturing to the food he had saved for me, and then when Jowan came into view his face just closed. He went rigid and any familiarity was gone. Finn and Alistair came to abrupt stands, everyone on their heels. And the first thing I had to do was become a human, elf barricade between Jowan and Isolde.

"You bastard!"

I hadn't realised Isolde had had a mean manicure done, but did when her arm started to descend towards Jowan with those claws ready and curved. I caught her wrist and pushed her back. Probably a little more panic and fright fuelling my move. Jowan cowed a little, but apparently had already resigned himself to this sort of response. She didn't fall at my move, but she eyed me with unhidden hate. I haven't been on the receiving end of that before, apart from spawn and zombies, but not from a living thing, though I imagine that's what I had looked at Kane with. It froze me for a second, enough time for her to deliver a stinging slap to my face. My cheek went white hot and yeah my vision went red. Not from pain, though it did hurt, yeah a fucken lot, but from a return of that sort of hate. And I think it Maharial's reaction to a shemlen doing that to me.

"Arlessa."

Plaintive, not something I would have attributed to Teagan. A small part of me understood it; this man had tried to kill his elder brother. Finn and Alistair had hulked to stand at each side of Isolde, Finn reaching to take a hold of her. I appreciated him, but I was pissed off.

"Would you care to rephrase that Isolde."

Not a question. Yeah it was totally a goad. I was pissed at her, the situation and the anger I had for the shaking that had tipped me into Ferelden wasn't quite abated. Her reply was to gather her arm for another go. I stepped back and it simply missed. I did not retaliate physically,

"Try it again anytime Shem and I will counsel that we charge up those stairs right now and kill your son to save your husband. I brought Jowan here as a means to save your boy."

"Why should any of us, me, listen to you elf?"

Any sort of softening of emotion I had to this woman was gone and I did something I never thought I would ever do. At the same time I hate myself and at the same time I am totally fine with it. I draw a knife and turn towards the stairs to the upper stories.

"Where are you going?"

Still imperious. I turn to look at the woman, careful to show the unslapped cheek,

"To kill your son and end this farce."

Utter silence. I couldn't bear to look at Finn let alone Alistair.

"She doesn't mean it my lady! She came to bring me to help!"

"How can you help, you tried to kill us."

"Because of Loghain. Why shouldn't he follow the orders of the man who is regent, the man who saved the remnants of the army at Ostagar? Your village lies in ruins, the only reason it is not in ruins and the demon isn't lording it over this castle are those standing in this room. Including the elf that stands right here. The only ones who have come up with a plan are the ones who also must fend off blight. When you couldn't even stand with those who would try and save your husband and try to aide your son. With all due respect, fuck you."

I sheathed my knife, riding high on anger. I knew Sten would be around the tavern or close by what remained of the square into the front of the Chantry. Morrigan would come with me, at least to the lake head. Leiliana would, because she would want to talk out this whole performance line by line. I headed towards the foyer hall and front door.

"Maharial, where are you going?"

"To the tower. Get Isolde to guard the demon, I'll do what I can to get them to help her."

"But…?"

I looked at Alistair,

"We have a treaty, they have to help us. If there is anything they can do, then wouldn't you prefer to do it without blood, Connor's or Isolde's?"

I caught Leiliana's eyes then Morrigan's. I let them make up their own minds but as soon as I had left those massive front doors I felt as empty as a husk. I heard the incredulous replies though,

"She is a Warden!"

"Isolde, how could…"