Elena had often fantasized about the first time she would be able fully give herself to Damon, and actually being with him had drastically surpassed her expectations. It was like being in a storm—an odd sense of comfort and a strange form of beauty along with the exhilarating rush of impending danger.

It had admittedly been an ill-conceived spontaneous decision to sleep with Damon right outside the boarding house filled with nosy vampires who could not know about her and Damon. But, at the moment she didn't care; the only thing she cared about was his beautiful blue eyes and beautifully sculpted body.

After Damon and Elena were done and dressed, Elena leaned back against the passenger seat of the car, winded in her post-bliss haze. She turned her head and when she made eye contact with Damon, she subconsciously smiled.

"How you feeling?" Damon asked, brushing back a strand of her hair.

"Amazing," Elena mumbled, still gently smirking.

"I tend to have that effect on people," Damon responded with a smug smile and Elena chuckled. She blew out a puff of air and snuggled up against the seat. "So…should we just go back inside?" Elena immediately shook her head.

"No," She contested, "I want you to take me away."

"Georgia?" Damon smirked at her and Elena laughed.

"Maybe now's not the time for that long of a trip," She paused, momentarily thinking. Then, it hit her. She knew exactly where she wanted to go.

Elena walked ahead of Damon. Her hair was tied up into a tight ponytail that bounced with each step. She knew where her destination was and walked with determination. Her footsteps were leaving a trail of light green where they disturbed the grass that bore her weight. When Elena reached that dreaded place, she sunk to her knees. Damon walked up and stood behind her in silence.

"I haven't visited here in two years," Elena stated, running her fingertips over the carved letters on the headstone. They read: Here lies Miranda and Grayson Gilbert. Loving parents. "I shouldn't have waited so long. I just got so consumed with my life."

Elena turned around to look at Damon who was standing solemnly, letting her have her moment. She held out her hand to him and he grabbed it. She pulled him down to her and settled up against his chest. His legs were on either side of her and his arms were around her waist.

Elena looked at the headstone next to her parents: Here lies Alaric Saltzman. Selfless guardian. She always found it so odd how people with so many accomplishments all boil down to a few words carved in stone, left to the mercy of the elements.

Damon noticed her eyes wander to his previous best friend's tomb. He never liked getting emotional about the dead; he never liked thinking of them or visiting them. He found the whole act to be ridiculous and contrived, but Elena held value in it, so he did too.

Elena toyed with the denim of Damon's jeans mindlessly as she got consumed in her own thoughts. Everything was so still. For the first time in forever, her life was quiet and simple enough that she actually had time to think. Just a year back, her thoughts would've been a blur of nonsense, but now, as she was held by Damon, everything seemed a little less dizzying to her.

The memory of all her friends (specifically Caroline and Stefan's) opinion on Elena after she had turned resurfaced out of the confines of her mind.

"Do you think I'm broken?" Elena quietly asked Damon. She felt Damon tighten his grip on her.

"Never," Damon whispered with his mouth right next to her ear. His breath tickled her neck and she shivered. She exhaled, leaning more into him when hearing his response. They sat silently again, looking at the remaining marks of all the people Elena had lost. She'd had too many funerals in her eighteen years.

Often times, Stefan asked Elena if she wanted to visit her parents' grave with him and every time she denied. She couldn't explain why she refused to go and she couldn't explain why she wanted to go with Damon, so she stopped trying.

"Damon…" Elena began. She caressed his hands against her stomach. She knew what she wanted to say to him, she just wasn't sure how to say it. The thought of having this conversation with Damon sickened her, but she felt it necessary.

"Yes, Elena?" Damon interrupted her reverie.

"I need to talk to you—."

"That's never a good start." Damon stated. Elena sighed.

"I just need to talk to you" Elena repeated, turning around to look at him, "I..." She hesitated, swooning at the love apparent in his eyes, "I don't know if we should do this." Elena watched as the joy faded from Damon's façade and pain moved back into his icy blue eyes.

"What are you doing?" Damon asked her, just as he did after she pulled away from his touch in Denver.

"I'm trying to protect you," Elena argued. She tightened her grip on his hand, but he didn't return the squeeze. At the sudden coldness, Elena felt worried and empty. She knew that Damon wouldn't take her proposition well, but she didn't even momentarily consider that he would dismiss her like so.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Elena?!" Damon stood up quickly and stepped back from Elena, "Stop trying to protect me." Damon said each with precise clarity. Elena stood up to confront Damon, just as she had done many times before.

"I'm never going to do that, Damon!" Elena was right up in Damon's face, refusing to let him pull away from her.

"Why?!"

"Because I loveyou!" She shouted. Her voice echoed across the graveyard and an eerie silence fell. Damon just stood staring at her. He loved every bit of her, even the part that viewed herself as the martyr. He didn't think his life was worth any bit of her sacrifice, but somehow she decided that he was worth saving, and he loved that about her.

"I'm not getting why we can't just be together." Damon questioned.

"I need to convince Katherine that I'm helplessly in love with the Salvatore that I'm not in love with. I can barely convince my friends, let alone Katherine Petrova!"

"So, you think that by breaking…whatever this is off, you're suddenly going to lose your feelings for me and convince everyone that Stefan is the one?" Damon mocked and crossed his arms across his chest. Elena scoffed and looked away, gently shaking her head.

"No," Elena admitted.

"Then answer me this," Damon closed the distance between him and Elena. He framed her face with his hands and gently turned her head to look at him, "Are you trying to protect me and your friends, or are you actually trying to protect yourself?"

Elena was stunned silent. A little part of her knew that she was self-sabotaging. She knew that the thing she wanted most in this world was Damon, but somewhere deep within her, she couldn't bring herself to fully be with him.

Maybe that was because she had spent so much of her recent life in grief that she didn't remember how to be happy. And the thought of finding happiness in Damon terrified her.

Damon took her chin between his forefinger and thumb and gently tilted her head up. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He stood still, kissing her slowly, but fully.

After he pulled away, Elena slowly opened her eyes. She gulped and exhaled. She looked him over and when she met his eyes, Damon realized that his efforts were futile.

"So, you're actually going through with this." Damon stated. Elena knitted her brows together and clasped her hands into tight fists, as if this could keep her heart from breaking. She nodded slowly.

"Yes," She choked out. Damon watched her silently.

"I'm not even going to pretend that your logic is actually logical." Damon stated snarkily and Elena broke eye contact with him ashamedly. "I'll give you a ride home." He said and Elena shook her head.

"Don't," Elena asked. Her eyes pleaded with him because she knew that if she was alone in a car with him, she would quickly go back on her decision.

"Fine." Damon said. He turned around, "See you around, Elena," Damon said, colder than he intended it to be.

He was done playing games with her. She wanted him, she loved him and he felt the same way about her. It should be simple, but things never seemed to be simple for them.

Elena watched in silence as he left. The moment he disappeared from her sight she fell to her knees with tears brimming in her eyes. The pain in her chest became overwhelming and the empty hole in her heart became deeper, and she began to immediately question whether or not she made the right choice by sending the man she loved away.

AN: Sorry it took so long to update. Oh well, I thought that Delena wouldn't be Delena without a little self-sabotage and lovers quarrel. Please review!