I registered pretty quickly, even with my eyes closed, that I was lying on my back, on hard stones. I sighed in a breath; the stench had dissipated. My tongue felt dry and hairy, and perfectly content to stick to the roof of my mouth. But the reflex to vomit hadn't abated with my eventual, thankful, awakening. It came on suddenly, because I realised if I was awake, then that Thing was too. And that I had lost Jowan, he was truly gone. It was that succession of realisations that had me trying to tear my eyes open. The room was blurred, swirling, but not longer the Fade. I blinked; I think I blinked, gazing through swollen eyelids towards the shape of it: come on eyes, damn you focus!

"Not Jowan."

I believe that was what I tried to say, but I'm not sure it even formed in my mouth let alone past it. It came from my just open lips as a groan, a breathy and utterly useless groan. I also tried to push and fight off the hands that seemed intent on holding me down; like I could currently move with any sort of purpose. Their hands were totally not required.

"Wait Ana, just rest."

Fuck that. There was no time for that. I bit her finger as my reply. Look okay, I was sorry I did it, but I wasn't really able to blurt out a spiel about what was about to go down. And it was the only that that bit happened to be close. Fair play, Leiliana had been moving to free a bit of hair on my face that was stuck in either a crust of blood or a crust of vomit. But I did, I bit her. She pulled back her hand, not physical hurt on her face, bit surprised at the vehemence that would push me to do that. But now that I had caught her eyes I tried to flick mine to the Jowan. Who crouched. Just. Over. Dammit, there! Only I saw that little shit eating grin that Not-Jowan gave me when It noticed my look. Elgar'nan, I wanted to rip that Demon's throat out, yeah I'd do it with my teeth, if I could reach. Aaahhhh! Frustration tears leaked from my eyes, sliding to my hair line. It was Finn who lifted my head, tenderly, fingers cradling my skull as I finally noticed him kneeling at my side. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Plus he looked pretty damn good for previously fighting off a demon infestation… hold on. Why were they here? How? I rolled my head; it was easier with him holding me. Love him right now by the way. I saw a blurry Alistair, he looked at me then at someone else, face pale with shock. Probably just stunned by the shit and chaos I had caused in the while they had been away. There were others around him, ones I didn't recognise. Oh, probably mages from the Tower, surely they could see?

"Finn…"

I must have finally spoken; his eyes seemed to concentrate on me, more serious. If that was possible. I wanted to lift my hands and grab his cheeks, turn his head to look at that piece of shit that was possessing Jowan. But they flopped, dancing uselessly at my side. I was too weak. Fuck, I couldn't even enjoy that look of worry on Finn's face for me. I nearly spewed again as I forced myself up, muscles shaking and cold; it was really just fear and a little bit of anger forcing me. My head felt cool when Finn released my head. I was utterly spent, only staying upright by bracing myself on shaking hands. But I was, mostly, up, and I could see un-Jowan looking at me (like everyone else). I was spent, I wanted to just drop back and sleep, maybe never wake up. But a shiver of absolute terror shivered my heart to beat harder, to give me something else. I lifted one hand, praying that the one bracing me would hold me for a little longer. I tried to force my clawed hand to point at That.

"Not…"

I hiccupped up a bit of vomit. I nearly burst into tears, I was pathetic. It grinned at me, as if hearing my thoughts. No, no, That was pathetic. And It was smiling at me. Fuck you. I spat out what had risen into my mouth. Fuck you, you piece of shit. My pointer finger bent to my will, the others twisting into a crude fist.

"Kill."

This time my voice was louder, audible. And only I saw the sword raised over It's shoulder. The shiny blade visible for only a second before it was gone. Down and buried through the shoulder, tearing down into Ex-Jowan's chest. I simply burst into tears. His mouth opened in agony, blood following. I screamed, a half scream half moan as Perth yanked out his sword. Jowan's body fell to the ground as if strings were cut. His life just gone. I was too slow in that shuffle-crawl towards him. He struck the stones hard. My hands slipping in his blood as I scrabbled towards him. Sliding my legs under his shoulders, I tried to drag him onto my lap. Finally just placing his head upon my legs, curling myself around him. I left red marks over his forehead and lids. I held his cooling cheeks, palms pricked by stubble; he felt so empty. Tremors and sadness and exhaustion made my hands weak; like butterflies against his face.

"I knew it!"

The voice made me flinch. It was screechy and nothing that I had been expecting. For some reason I considered this place holy now, sacred. And someone had let her in, in here! I dragged my gaze from my friend's face; tears marking his skin like my prints in blood had. I found hers so easily. Isolde looked like she had won or something. Like all this, that it had been a contest. The battles every night for the town, the battle for her son. Bar what my companions had gone through at the Tower, so far unknown. Our terror in the Fade. The loss in the Fade. And what Isolde? What did you want from us? Am we supposed to congratulate you, am I supposed to pat you on the shoulder and say 'oh yeah, you were right?' I knew she flinched back from the look in my eyes, not from the crap that covered my face and clothing. And least of all not the body that sat in my arms. He should have been looked at with more than just vindictive victory. Creators. It was so silent, nothing from the group of new mages and nothing from Teagan, telling her to bite back her words. There was nothing too from Perth, the only one who had done as I had ordered. I found that I didn't want to look at him; I think I both hated and loved him for doing what he had done.

"He just saved your son…and you do not even deserve it."

There was more than hate in my words.

"I would swap him for a thousand of you."

I cried harder. My nose started to bleed again while I spoke; I spat drops of blood but by the Creators I would finish what I wanted to say. I wanted to see physical wounds appear on her body, caused by my words, but there was nothing on her face to even show she had heard my words. I watched her for a couple of breaths before I dropped mine to Jowan's once more. Hands still trying to clasp his slack face tight, as if to stop him leaving. He was already gone.

"O Falon'din lethanavir, friend to the Dead. Guide his feet, calm his soul. Lead him to his rest."

My voice was nothing but a whisper, as if those previous words had sapped all their energy. But even those smooth elvish words cracked as I forced out that prayer for Jowan. But as soon as that last syllable of that appeal faded I couldn't breathe. As if a switch had been flicked. From air to void. And as luck would have it my stomach chose to rebel now, big time. Though there was nothing inside but bile. Panic didn't even really rise to the surface in my mind, as if everything was kinda just coming from far away. Bar that feeling that I was so glad that I had been able to get out those words Isolde and the relief I felt now that the others had returned to my side. Didn't feel the stones as I went suddenly weightless and blind.

Finn had looked at that girl, at Kaitlyn hard. She had been the only one to move towards them. There had been no welcome as the boat and docked. They could all smell the old stench of smoke, floating in a low haze mixed with the lake fog. A few people had watched them disembark from the prowed boat, but none had approached them. They had advanced to the Chantry where people watched them cagedly. Only Kaitlyn had burst from the Chantry's doors, moving straight to Finn, even grabbing his hand.

"Warden, Warden! Quick, you must hurry to the Castle. Something... something has happened."

Finn narrowed his eyes, tiredness seared from him at the urgency and fear in her face. Akin to what it had been like that twilight several days before.

"Where are the others?"

"They are all at the Castle. The tall man, the wi...witch and Maharial. But something…"

Kaitlyn turned and pointed, as if fire or smoke would be rising from the Keep. But it was still and Finn could see soldiers lining the steep path.

Those on watch didn't hail them as that group moved past. Eyes and faces followed them in silence. Only Wolf made noise, whimpering and whining as if he could sense something the others could not. But those manning the door opened it, divulging heat and stench from the closed hall. The scene that awaited them was nothing any had imagined. Morrigan was propped up roughly against a book case, her arms wrapped around her chest. Her face was grey with exhaustion and an emotion that none had seen on her before. Fear. Her jaw chattered from cold and that experience in the Fade. Sten stood straight, sword drawn, but he held it in front of him, point caught in the long rug. His face looked placid, but Finn and his comrades could see the tension around his mouth and the hardness of his eyes. Jowan still sat on the ground, but his hands opened and closed. His eyes on them, as if he contemplated his awakening. Teagan had watched them as they had entered, but hadn't moved. Near to him lay a still Maharial. Her face was covered in dried blood; a purple swelling covered her forehead and an eye. From her nose still sullenly wet blood shone, more crusted her lips from a bitten tongue. More worryingly, her face was even paler than Morrigan's. Finn was the first to move to her, afraid to touch her, that she would be as cold as the colour of her skin.

"What happened here?"

The speaker was older, wearing green robes that had obviously had better days. His beard grey and long. He cast an eye over all those present or an answer. But his gaze flicked over then returned to Jowan, his eyes widening in recognition.

"They have been unconscious for nearly as long as the Wardens have been gone."

Sten said. Morrigan lifted her face, but said nothing, teeth clacking too hard for words. Jowan said nothing either, instead slowly moving to stand, legs spread wide as if he was a new born calf learning to walk. Attention went from Sten to Maharial as she tried to rise, managing to only barely sit up. She was staring only at Jowan. She mumbled something, inaudible. Until at something, she forced her hand to point and one word came from her,

"Kill."

The next few moments were chaos. Jowan fell to the ground, behind him Perth stood. His sword bright red. Maharial screamed and managed to drag herself to Jowan's still bleeding body. Finn watched, still crouched where she had been lying. She spat out her reply to Isolde, shivering as she held Jowan's face. No one could decipher the words she spoke to the mage. But when she had finally uttered those words she was done. Her body just shutting down.

"Alistair take her to a room, Wynne please follow. Morrigan, let Irving check you over."

Those orders given Finn turned to Teagan,

"And Teagan, tell me what the Maker has happened here."