Elena was led to the dance floor by Stefan. People around them smiled and clapped as they walked by, as though they were recently married rather than engaged.
He took her waist and she rested her hand on his shoulder. He began dancing with her, watching her with a smile. She returned the smile, but it was nothing except a formality.
"Have you ever thought of our future?" Stefan asked her.
"You know I've thought of thinking about it," Elena responded, shifting on the balls of her feet awkwardly.
"What would you think of…" Stefan hesitated, trying to think of the words, "Actually marrying me?"
Elena's heart jumped to her throat and she stopped dead in her tracks. She felt like her throat was closing and she gaped—opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, struggling with the formation of words.
"Elena?" Stefan asked concernedly.
"Sorry," She said, shaking her head to clear it, "I guess I was just sorta caught off guard."
"Understandably," Stefan joked, "But…what do you think?"
"I—I," Elena choked out, "I can't."
"You can't?" Stefan furrowed his brow, obviously taken aback by the response.
"I can't." She repeated, unsure of what else to say, "I'm sorry." She pulled away and quickly gathered her skirt before running out of the ball. She burst through the front door and collapsed to her knees on the front porch. She was hyperventilating and struggling to slow her breathing.
It was all too much for her. She thought that it would be easy to fake her engagement with Stefan and feign indifference towards Damon, but that was evidently not the case.
The door opened behind her, but she ignored it. She was too focused on trying to regain her composure.
"Elena?" Caroline asked from behind her, "What's wrong?"
Elena's breathing steadily slowed and she closed her eyes. A tear that she didn't know existed escaped when her eyelids met. She brushed it away and stood up.
"Stefan asked me to marry him," Elena said turning towards Caroline. Caroline's eyes lit up and her jaw dropped.
"And?" Caroline egged on with an excited voice, "What did you say?"
"I said no."
"What?! Are you insane?!"
"No." Elena defended her decision.
"Then, why did you reject him?!" Caroline asked, still in shock.
"Aside from the fact that I'm only eighteen—."
"Time is relative, and you're a vampire now, it doesn't matter." Caroline tried to convince Elena, but Elena just shook her head.
"That's not the only reason." Elena said hesitantly.
"Then, what else is there?" Caroline placed her hand on her hip and stared down Elena.
Elena paused, internally wondering if she should tell Caroline. She decided that now was as good of a time as any, "I have this bad habit of sleeping with my boyfriend's brother."
"What?!" Caroline shouted, "No! Not Damon! That's terrible! He's terrible! And Stefan's so good for you!"
"He was, but he's not anymore." Elena argued. She was getting tired of having to defend her love for Damon, but she knew would always have to. Damon's reputation was not the prettiest.
"And Damon's so much better? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?"
"Do you realize how judgmental you're being?!" Elena retorted, "I'm in love with him and nothing's going to change that!"
"You're in love with him?" Caroline scoffed, "No. I refuse to believe that. I'm not being judgmental; I'm just trying to protect you!"
"Do me a favor and stop," Elena said venomously.
"What has gotten into you, Elena?!" Caroline rolled her eyes and answered her own question, "Apparently Damon. Multiple times."
"Wow," Elena crossed her arms, "That's a low blow, Caroline."
"Well, it's true."
"Yes, it is," Elena said and Caroline bit her bottom lip angrily, "I just want you to be accepting."
"I can't be accepting when you're obviously delusional," Caroline responded. Elena shrugged.
"If loving Damon is me being delusional, I don't want to be anything else." Elena stated. She watched Caroline silently momentarily before walking back to the front door, bumping Caroline's shoulder as she walked past.
"This isn't like you Elena…you don't cheat." Caroline pleaded.
"I know," Elena admitted, "And I don't like it any more than you. But, it seems to be the only thing that can happen right now."
"Or you could, you know, not sleep with Damon." Caroline stated. She turned to look at Elena.
"Tried that. Didn't work."
"Elena…" Caroline began.
"I know."
"Then, why?"
"Because when it comes to him, all my morals are tossed out the window."
"That's not good, Elena. That's toxic." Caroline said.
"I know—we know," Elena corrected.
"Then, why?" Caroline begged. Elena sighed and shrugged.
"Love is weird." She turned the doorknob, "Look, Caroline. You can't tell Stefan."
"Oh great, now you're dragging me into your messed up little situation." Caroline complained.
"Yes, I am. Because now you know, and for the sake of everyone we love, we have to keep it a secret."
Caroline stomped her feet the way she does when she's conflicted and upset.
"Agh! Fine! But I don't approve."
"I don't expect you to." Elena walked back into the ball, leaving Caroline in her wake.
Stefan immediately noticed her rejoin the crowd and confronted her.
"Elena. I'm sorry. I already knew your position on the subject and that was rude of me to put you in that situation."
"Stefan, you are such a kind person." Elena took his hand and squeezed it, "It's all fine." She said reassuringly. She knew that she was in no position to get upset with him and considering her activities with Damon, she figured that Stefan deserved to be treated better by her. Recently, she had been really cold with him.
She smiled at him. Her eyes drifted across the room to Damon who was leaning against the staircase. He was watching her with narrow eyes. She felt her heartbeat quicken at the sight of him and quickly turned her attention back to Stefan before she did something else completely reckless.
A/N: Review please!