Chapter Fifty Five

Jasper

I wasn't quite sure what Bella was asking or even sure exactly what she meant by what she'd said. I needed to study her emotions, we hadn't been together very much and she was still a mystery to me. I could see confusion on her face and feel her embarrassment. She thought she had made a fool of herself so I had to take the final step or risk losing her. I knelt in front of her and took the cloth away from her face. The cut had more or less stopped bleeding and my thirst while burning was manageable.

"Bella don't be sorry for what you said. I know what you are asking me, I think. This is all new to me so I'm just going to say what I feel and leave the rest to you. You asked me a while back to change you and I said I would once I knew you were sure about me. I can't explain how you make me feel. When I'm with you everything makes sense and I can finally feel hope. When I thought you were gone my life became too bleak to contemplate. I know Charlie doesn't approve of me but that's his problem not mine. I also know you are young but not too young to make up your own mind so I'm going to ask you something but I don't want you to answer me straight away. I need to know you've really thought about it because it's a one time, forever, decision. You know about me, I've always been honest about what I am and I don't suppose I'll change much, its been too long, I've seen too much. Bella, will you stay with me for ever? Be my mate, my wife or however you want to phrase it?"

She was about to speak but I put a finger to her lips.

"Not yet. Think, take a few days if you want but don't answer until you are one hundred percent sure because once you commit to me and I to you, that's it, for eternity."

I replaced my finger with my lips, enjoying the feel of hers, her sweet breath on mine and the scent of her blood as it flushed her face.

"Now we'd better go back to Charlie".

Bella

I knew what I wanted but I'd give it a few hours, I couldn't live without him, I knew because I'd tried. I couldn't help a cry of exultation within as we walked downstairs to see Charlie sitting in an armchair. He looked up when he heard us and then got up,

"I'm sorry Bella, I never meant to hurt you, I was just angry I guess. Are you OK?"

I nodded,

"Yes I'm fine. Are you OK after all you've heard?"

"No, I don't think I ever will be again. Life isn't what I thought it was. There really are monsters out there. Apologies to you Jasper, for that"

Jasper nodded acceptance of Charlie's words and pulled me to sit beside him on the couch.

Charlie looked at our clasped hands and sighed before speaking again

"Jasper, you know how I feel about you and that hasn't really changed but I accept that Bella feels differently and I know you'll look after her. What worries me is what you're going to have to protect her from. You are obviously quite capable but Bella is my only daughter and I don't like the actions she's been forced into since she met you"

I was about to interrupt but he carried on

"Now I know it wasn't Jaspers idea and I know he wouldn't have accepted you doing what you did, but its his world that's so dangerous and its that world you are stepping into if you stay with him. That scares the hell out of me and it should you as well"

I'd listened to Charlie and now it was my turn to talk. I took my hand back from Jasper and went to sit on the arm of Charlies chair putting my hand on his arm,

"Dad I'm truly sorry for the way I hurt you when I disappeared but I couldn't see another way round it. I should have gone to Jasper but I chose to believe what someone else told me. That was wrong and I'd never do it again. I know Jaspers world is dangerous but I can't help that and neither can he. Do you remember when you fell in love with Mum? How nothing else mattered, how you felt when you were away from her? Well I guess that's the way I feel about Jasper. While I was on my own I felt I was dying a little more every day, as if without him nothing made any sense. I wanted to tell you something in front of him so it was all out in the open"

I looked from one to the other, Charlie looked resigned but Jasper looked apprehensive,

"When I woke up and Jasper was there I thought my world had started to turn once more. I asked him to change me"

Charlie gasped and looked concerned again

"But he said I needed time. He also told me how life would be with him. He did everything to allow me an informed choice. A little while ago he asked me a question and he wanted me to take my time before answering. What he doesn't understand is that the answer would be the same if I had given it months ago, weeks ago, today or in a hundred years. He is the one who makes me whole so what other answer can I give? We're going to be married Dad and I hope you can give us your blessing because I love him and he loves me."

Jasper

I was terrified what she was going to say in front of Charlie but I was staggered by what she did say. The decision was made and she'd made it official. I knew exactly where I stood with her, where I belonged, at her side for always.

"Charlie. I guess I should have spoken to you about it first but Bella got the jump on me. You're right, I do know how you feel about me and I'm sorry about that because I love your daughter and I'll look after her."

She smiled at me and walked over to take my arm. Charlie looked at us and heaved a large sigh.

"I don't think there's anything I could say to change things so I have no choice but to accept what's coming. I'm not happy about it and I hope you'll take some time and do it right and not change her unless she's totally committed. If anything goes wrong there'll always be a place for her at home."

It wasn't enough but it was about the best I could have hoped for so I took Bella's hand in mine and offered my other to him. He looked at it dubiously then shook it quickly and withdrew his. I knew the cold of my hand had made him shudder and I knew he was thinking about my touch on his daughter but that was for us to worry about, not him.