It has been a wee while and it turns out I had a lot to write.

I really liked where Zevran had found for us to stay, even for the one night we would be here. I think Wynne had led the others in the disapproving stare at the Antivan who was really good at ignoring them; I had grinned. It was really right under Loghain's nose, here in the brightest whore house of them all. I guess no one would really expect the Wardens and their very small number of brethren to be bunking here. Though Zevran had probably chosen the place because of the proprietor's ample bosom rather than her soft spot for the fellow. Whatever it was used for and who the people were, despite the fact that this place would once upon a time have had me blushing and staring at my feet, now it felt like the most comfortable place ever. It still kinda had me doing those things, but Sanga was really nice. Though maybe, possibly Zevran's winning personality had most attention on himself rather than anyone else. But I saw the glances Sanga gave each of us as we entered; you know like to figure out how much we were worth. But for the madam of a brothel Sanga was… kind of like a mum. She had smiled at me and hadn't looked at my ears and… She'd even vacated three rooms for us. Small and everything, but they had beds in them and were warm and dry and devoid of things trying to kill me. Us. I sat on the ground currently, back braced against one of the beds. This room, my room was also empty of my roommates. Wynnie, Leiliana and Wolf. The last one had decided after Weylon, that I needed to be watched. Like a hawk shaped like a mabari. He had been coaxed out by Wynne, probably with food of some sort, leaving me alone with the ewer. I hadn't touched the water. I had been all taken up with think of Finn and whatever it was that I had been going to say to him. However sure I had been at the time of what I had been going to say, even thinking about it now my throat was all dry and closed up. Damn I could even feel the heat of a blush. In an effort to unplug my brain I delved a hand into my bosom. And drew free the enwrapped 'gift' I had lifted, got for myself. As I held it I remembered the incense. Standing I placed the kerchief on the bed and held one of the cones to a candle flame. It smouldered and immediately the scent of just forest bloomed into the room. I breathed deep. Kneeling next to the bed I unfolded the necklace.

It seemed pretty fitting really, that the room was empty and it was a dalish, yes, who had taken it. And it at least smelt like home. The halla horn glowed and was warm to the touch. It was beautiful and it made me so nostalgic. I could remember the nights of Paivel telling stories, tracking through the forest, of the glowing white halla and their spiralling carved antlers. But it reminded me that I wasn't home anymore. Any of them. But it also represented them all at the same time. It fit like it had been made for me. Sitting across my collarbone it felt a bit heavy but all in all it felt really right to have something like this again. Something that was tangible that gave root to the memories in my head. It sounded all muddled but it made me feel really good, that I was still the one I remembered. I fell forward and tried to smother myself in the blanket.

I couldn't stick to it and came up for air pretty quickly. I hadn't been asked to go see Goldanna. I hadn't been privy either to the earlier conversation of 'my sister is in Denerim we must go see her for a super reunion of hugs and tears'. I'd heard nothing of the topic within my earshot. Though you know it was prolly a good thing. I would have wanted to show the woman the inside of her colon. But I was a bit sad that I couldn't stand up for Alistair. He did have Finn by his side though, and there wasn't really any one better next to you when that sort of predicament came up. Well, any sort of predicament really. But you know, I get the feeling that he too would also like to show her her innards too.

It was empty. Well bar Sanga and us. Absolutely empty. I halted at the door peering around the frame. I caught Leiliana's eyes; she grinned so I tiptoed over her to her and sat on the trestle opposite.

"Uhm, where is everyone?"

I had expected this place to be busier. It was supposed to be the best, wasn't it? Even though I had whispered, or maybe because I had whispered, Sanga looked at me, humphed and stomped off.

"Oh, something about payments and some such. A guardsman came to the door earlier and… oh Ana what is that? It is beautiful."

Kudos where it's due Leiliana didna try to touch it though judging by her eyes she really wanted too.

"It was at the 'Wonders'. It is halla. I took it back."

"Ah, the little dalish has quick fingers."

Zevran literally slid onto the seat, golden brown eyes on the necklace, or my chest.

"It doesn't belong to them."

"It belongs to you?"

He asked. Nope.

"It simply is. It honours me to wear it, even for a short while. It is like a memory."

I blushed a little. But it seemed to make sense to Zevran. He had gone to a dalish camp; perhaps he understood what the halla and such means.

"Did you go to the chantry board?"

"We did. All the jobs require us go further afield. But we will hopefully manage them as we travel."

I jumped when I heard the banging come from back down the hallway. I looked at Leiliana,

"They do that every so often."

Paedan! First of all, crap! And then, how did I remember his name? I turned to look at Sten. We would need him if Alistair and Finn didna return and something happened.

"Ana?"

I turned back, thinking about pasting a smile on my face but Leiliana was too cunning for that.

"They are Howe's men. Cleaning up Warden supporters."

"What was that Maharial?"

Wynne. All softly, softly behind me. The banging came again.

"Two tal-vashoth, an elf and a man."

Shut up, shut up, shut up. Too much information.

"You can tell that from that?"

Zevran said, thumbing behind him as the banging continued.

"Tal-Vashoth."

"Yes I get it, duty bound and all that stuff Sten. But it'll be tight corner fighting so perhaps 'balls out' just isna going to cut it."

Sten had loomed behind me as soon as I had said that. Leiliana quirked an eyebrow,

"Qunari that have rejected the Qun. Sten should 're-educate' rather than kill them, but it isn't really an option. Though I don't think that really matters right now."

I said, eyeing up Sten all but cracking his knuckles. Wynne had taken possession of her staff.

"Shall we do it then?"

You know sometimes that Senior Enchanter is scary. And cold. Dem cold.

I don't think Sanga is really going to invite us back to be honest. Though right now we looked like normal guys just chillin in front of the roaring fire. She hadn't looked in the back room yet. I think that bodies crack frozen and then smashed are probably going to thaw slow. It had been Zevran who had just closed the door on that little scene of carnage and then turned to us with a broad smile on his cheery face.

"Let's drink!"

He'd received only one look that said no. The rest of us had taken eager possession of a goblet of wine each. I unrolled Paedan's somewhat blood marked orders, perusing them slowly. I had a feeling they were written in Howe's hand. Holding something tangible from someone I hated with the hate of Danae Cousland and also now more importantly Finn, made me wanna be alone in a room with him for a bit. I'd taken pleasure as Danae in killing him in my first play-through though I would have liked more uh, dismemberment. But here it was real.

"What are you going to do with that Ana?"

"I'ma show it to Finn so he can furnish his dream sequences with even more cinematic endings."

I said absentmindedly. SHUT UP! They didn't know and I wasn't supposed too, even though that ship sure had sailed but not yet been resolved. But these guys didn't even know his last name and what had happened to him. By the Creators I could not be the one to tell that story. It was his, not mine to tell.

"Speaking about Finn, where did he and Alistair run off too?"

Wynne said, approaching the table and sitting daintily in it. Rearranging her robes around her legs, her hands playing with the bottom of the wine glass? Cup, goblet.

"Laundress."

"Heh?"

"They went to go and see a laundress, on the edge of the market."

Zevran opened his mouth, all ready to say something, anything. But Wolf growled, as only a mabari can and he reversed his decision. There were more candles sprinkled around now, the fire and those pinpricks of warm yellow the only sources of light now that night had well and truly fallen. I glanced, not totally worriedly, towards the nearest window. Nothing to be seen beyond it but darkness.

"They'll be back soon Ana."

Leiliana said, thankfully saying it in a whisper.

I'm not sure whether anyone thought that this would be the last covert rest, or rest full stop, that we would have. Though I think they all knew well enough what we needed to undertake and what lay ahead of us. All of it chaos and fighting and walking and… Most of us were curled up or reclining around the fire. While Sanga had promised us dinner, none of us had seen her since she had flounced off. Not that right now I was too worried. I mean I was all drowsy from the warmth and the fire and the seat I had was really comfy. It had been so long since. Oh my God I just thought of what had probably happened on around and with this chair! Eh. I did sit up though. Zevran had his eyes closed, the fire light making his skin and hair even more golden. Stop it. Wynne seriously should have been knitting but she was flicking through the book I had given her after Weylon. True to form Sten was standing upright, close to the door. I couldn't for the life of me read his face but I think, think, he was thinking about that cookie he got from that kid. Leiliana was sleeping. Next to Wolf right in front of the fire. She was gonna wake up all crazed and headachey. But right now she looked like she had just won the sleep lottery. I wanted to roll over and nap too, but when I tried to close my eyes for any length of time I thought of Finn. Instead I found my feet and wandered over to Sten.

"Heya big guy."

I wanted to put my fist out for a knuckle bump, but if the Qunari even got that reference then I would be fairly socked into the bar or back wall. His arm was the size of my whole body. I don't think I was so afraid of him, wary yes, but not scared. Not any more. His eyes shifted to look at me and then back, which was pretty much it, I mean his arms were already folded in front him. Did I mention he has massive arms?

"Sten?"

Those red eyes swivelled towards me. I didn't want to say, 'oh nothing it's okay', it would have been a waste of time. And knowing him he would never have spoken to me again. So,

"Thanks, for standing with us before. Even though you probably would have gone after them by yourself, with out us because you would have to and stuff."

Idiot.

"It needed to be done."

Yeah. I get that.

"The Qun, does it really state that people cannot change who they are? That they are born to be what and who they are?"

"Asit tel-eb. It is to be."

Yeah, I'm not sure if the Qunari had really taken into consideration the whole other personality slash being, being tossed into another species in a previously fantasy video game that would become real reality in a few days.

"And the Blight?"

Silence. Then,

"That is why I came."

To find the answer to the question,

"What is the Blight."

The door ricocheted back on its hinges. Alistair standing there, hand still outstretched.

"Oh, whoops."

He was drunk. Or well on the way to being monumentally pissed. He staggered towards us, past us and then half collapsed over the bar, reaching for bottles, upending one over his face. I turned back to Finn, who looked haggard. Me, being totally an idiot, walked over offering my hand. To my shock, though I will deny, he took it and allowed me to walk him over to what had been my seat. I released him and he just dropped his sword and his shield and started to drop bits of plate off his body. Finally he stood there in his padding and he just dropped. A hand covered his face. I spun, ignoring eyes so I wasn't sure if anyone had actually watched. Moving to Alistair I pulled the bottle of stinky spirits from his hands.

"Oi!"

"You 'oi' me again Alistair, and you will find out why the dalish do not play so well with others."

Shouldn't have got that close to his breath to be honest. But I could see in his face that he got it. I moved through the door that Sanga had disappeared through and went to see about food.

The first night we sat down to our camp fare I realised how good Sanga's stuff had been. And how I would not see it's like for a very long time. We had left early that morning, before the market had even cracked an eyelid. We had been watched, the Crows. It had been Lei and Zevran who had followed Finn back. We had met up with them again just out of town. Alistair not quite spewing but he was definitely green around the edges. Finn hadn't spoken to me for a while, even after returning with Alistair. Now we ate our food; I could see him through the flames, blowing on the meat before eating it. Alistair didn't even seem to notice the temperature of the food and was shoving it in his face. Finn finished his plateful and wiped his mouth,

"Ana and I will take the first. Are you ready?"

I'm pretty sure I gaped like a fish before I nodded. Quickly moving for my quiver and bow. Returning to his side he nodded at the others before we moved into the darkness.

"Leiliana told me about those who had been uh 'taking care of' warden supporters for Howe."

I continued to fiddle with the buckle of the quiver not really answering seeing as how it hadna been a question.

"I saw your face when you entered that house."

Bloody hell, when did Finn get so eloquent?

Ever since her, Morrigan and Sten had entered that house and taken care of that pretender, Ana hadn't really managed to look him in the face. But there had been no hesitation in her when she had offered her hand. Just as there had been no hesitation in him taking it. Sometimes she acted like a mother, sometimes like a child. But other times she acted like she was there only for him. No, for the Wardens. He'd nearly groaned when he'd made to clarify that. No he had been right the first time. Maker he'd been so worried when Wolf had sprinted off, Ana nowhere to be seen or heard. He'd managed to hide it purely because of the fact he'd become very good at doing just that. When she'd finally opened her eyes in Redcliffe the relief had been like a king tide. He'd thought he couldn't look at her because of Iona, but they were two entirely different people. There was nothing in Ana that was Iona. Now though, Ana wouldn't look at him and it was so frustrating.

He couldn't see her face, just the twists of her hair and the ghost pale curve of her cheek as she carefully averted her face. Coughing he tried to think of something else to say.

"I saw your face when you entered the house."

She stiffened but didn't turn.

"Why?"

He couldn't even guess what she was thinking. He could see the slight roil of white as she sighed out deeply. A hand rose to tuck a length of hair back, the slim slant of her ear now unhidden. In the moonlight he fancied he could see the coil of a tattoo on that delicate skin too. He could see the heavy necklace she wore; it had flared gold and a creamy white colour earlier and during the fire light. He had seen her touching it reverently throughout the day.

"You knew about Howe and what he had done to my family when I had told no one."

She spun around at that, eyes wide.

"That wasn't, I didn't…"

Maker her eyes were sparkling, with tears. She took a deep breath fingers playing with the carvings on the end of her bow.

"I didn't want to say anything, but I wanted you to know that I was serious and I blurted it out and I'd forgotten."

He didn't even know how to react.

It was like someone had poked me hard in the kidneys. I turned to him and tried to explain something that I couldn't. He looked at me with no reaction; there was nothing on his face in his eyes. Nothing, the opposite of the anger that had just coated him when I had first met him in the Wilds. Elgar'nan, he was beautiful. But I knew he would be breathtaking if he would just smile. I opened my mouth and just let the words continue to fall out.

"After Tamlen and Duncan, I saw you in a dream. Your face was so sad and I thought you were broken, but there was anger there too. And I thought that maybe if I went that maybe I could help you. Take some burden, help you do your duty and get revenge at the same time. And the more time I spend with you, with all of you, I see how real it all is and I'm probably in the way but I wanted everyone to be whole at the end of it. And I didn't want you to break."

I gulped; I'd averted my eyes again.

"And when I saw that you had been hurt, however badly or not, I was angry at myself for not doing or being more to stop that from happening."

"You can't stop that from happening. You know as well as anyone what is going on Ana. The blight, the civil war, the wanted status of all wardens let alone me, as a Warden and as the only Cousland. This is what I am now."

No but you are more than that Finn, Creators I wanted to yell at him. I really wanted to throw something at him that was heavier than my words, for him to get what I was trying to say. Hold up. What was I trying to say?

"But I'm not broken either Ana."

Tears just fell. I hate them.

"I didn't want to cry."

He laughed. I would have glared daggers at him if could see him through the tears.

"You failed that."

I scrunched my eyes closed hard. Then I realised that that had been the first time I had heard him laugh. I opened my eyes quickly and looked up at him. There was still a little grin on his lips.

"Wow."

He heard her whisper. He looked up at her; she was staring at him with something like wonderment.

"Finn you are never allowed to break. I couldn't bear it if you did."

She whispered; shyly as if unsure she should even say the words aloud. And then her face changed and he knew she blushed. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and she spun so he couldn't see her again. Which was kind of a good thing because he too didn't know what to say.