Kate coyly pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she stared down into her empty wine glass.
"Just hearing the click of her heels striding up and down the corridor would get my pulse racing. I mean…I'd fancied women in the past, had flings...half-hearted relationships… but this..." A modest laugh escaped her lips.
"A good old fashioned crush is what Mum called it…but I'd never been one to crush really" her tone filled with soft, tipsy nostalgia; eyes glazed over.
"Not for one iota of a second did I think she would look twice at me. She was married for one…." Kate blinked away her gaze and picked up the wine glass and inspected the contents, forgetting it was empty. Unable to look anyone in the eye "….well…so was I at one point but Caroline was…very straight" she punctuated the air with a vertical hand. "And not to mention my boss!" that little laugh again and she waved her hand out of the air.
Caroline, who had put down her knife and fork during Kate's earnest monologue, stared at her love, hanging to every word.
"I got to a point where I told myself to face the facts…knew it wouldn't…couldn't happen…told myself to stop behaving like a teenage girl." A self-deprecating shake of the head.
"No more optimistically walking past her office on my lunch break, hoping to catch her on her way out and having a quick chat about 9F or something equally banal!" A roll of the eyes.
"I changed my seat in the staff room so that I wasn't constantly door watching…waiting…for her. I even stopped going to assemblies…oh god I had to…once I stayed standing after first hymn…way after everyone else had sat. It was a Monday morning and she'd walked up to the lectern looking breath-taking" Kate had two hands up in the air, eyes closed, picturing the scene.
"Hair up. Lipstick on. Power suit. Heels. Just stunning." She opened her eyes and rested a finger on her temple. "Mrs Aspinall had to come and tap me on the shoulder to get me to sit down!"
Nikki and Helen smiled sincerely at the woman bearing her heart, appreciating her passion. Nikki had one arm affectionately draped over the back of Helen's chair.
"Then one day I was heading home after choir, everybody else had gone and I was walking to my car when I saw Caroline just sat in hers, head rested on the steering wheel. I tapped on the window. She was crying…God it broke my heart." Kate instinctively moved her hands to her heart.
"Of course, she apologised profusely, said how unprofessional it was of her to get in such a state on the school grounds. Babbled…like she does when she doesn't know how to handle a situation" the corner of her mouth twitched into a small smile.
"I told her to shut up! Which she totally wasn't expecting. It made her laugh. The most organic, startled laugh. It was beautiful" the smile got wider.
"We ended up going for a drink…or four. She told me about John moving out, his infidelity…about how she was struggling to make it all work for the boys. It was visibly difficult for her to be so open...but she clearly took comfort in my company"
"The next week she offered to take me to dinner to apologise for…"Kate made quotation marks with her fingers, "…'the ramblings of a foolish middle aged woman'. I accepted on the condition that this" she pointed to herself "foolish middle aged woman buy the first round of cocktails."
"The emotional shutters were back up…but the professional ones were nowhere to be seen. We had fun. Discussed anything and everything. Gossiped. Laughed. I even sang…" she placed a hand on each cheek and shook her head.
"We went back to mine for coffee and she insisted I played the piano. She told me I was…" Kate smiled, remembering the words "'very charming'".
"And that's when I saw something in her eyes. A hint of intrigue. No. More than intrigue. Desire. Longing. I couldn't help myself. I kissed her. She kissed me back. It was electrifying."
"Cut to 3 years later and she's the best mother to our little girl. Her boys. A family I thought I would never have…and she still makes my pulse race when I hear the click of her heels. Only now it's when she walks through the front door and down the hallway coming home. To our home."
Kate looked up shyly to meet Caroline's gaze. Scared that she had over shared. Relief washed over her when she saw Caroline's glassy, cerulean orbs beaming back at her.
Caroline wanted to scoop Kate up into her arms and show her what those words meant. However, their present company meant she could only sit staring at Kate, astounded by her love.
"Wow…okay guys, totes emosh…as Sam would say. Shall we leave you to it?" Nikki laughed.
"It's so sweet!" Helen fanned her face with her napkin on the verge of tearing up.
Copious amounts of wine had been drunk. Amazing food had been enjoyed. All four ladies were well on their way to the right side of merry.
"So…what's your story? Where did you two meet?" Kate asked as she poured more drinks.
Nikki squeezed Helen's hand as the brown haired woman's mouth gaped in contemplation.
"Prison" Nikki stated boldly.
Caroline choked on her mouthful of wine.
Nikki seized the opportunity, "fraternising with retired master criminals bother you Dr Elliot?"
"Not so masterful if you got caught." A composed Caroline attacked.
"You two!" Helen flapped her arms in an attempt to halt the battle to outwit.
Kate laughed suspiciously, "no, really?...but you work in a Prison?"
"Well…it's not a story we go around telling freely…" the Scot offered "…but seeing as though you have been so honest with us. That…or the wine's gone straight to my head." Helen looked to Nikki for her approval. The taller woman softly nodded her head and stroked Helen's cheek with the back of her hand.
"15 years ago I was engaged to be married…to a man…"
"Sean the Prawn" Nikki added trying to remain light hearted, but a little nervous. Helen tutted and lightly rapped her partner's knee.
"I didn't want to marry him. I'm not sure I even liked him by that point. But I thought it was what I should have been doing….all our friends from Uni were." She sipped her wine.
"I was working as a Wing Governor at HMP Larkhall in London…where…" she squeezed Nikki's knee now "…where…Nikki was serving time."
Caroline's uncontrollably urge to ask why was vocalised.
Nikki looked to floor, took a deep breath and then met Caroline's gaze.
"I killed the man that raped my girlfriend."
A/N Bit of a change in tone for this chapter, but felt this discussion needed to happen at some point. Will return to the funny stuff soon!