Once upon a time there was a girl named Bella. Bella was convinced her boyfriend was a vampire, and she wanted to be just like him.
So one day, she saw some blood on the ground, so she decided to drink it so she could turn into a vampire (so she thought). It turned out to be a raccoon's blood that had rabies. Bella got rabies and went crazy and had to be tied down. The Cullens just stared at her as they carted her off the hospital./p
Edward (Cedric in disguise) just looked embarrassed and apparated back to England where his family was really happy that he was okay. Cho divorced the stupid muggle guy she'd married and they lived happily ever after.