Chapter 13
Will she? Won't she? Let's drop in and see what's happening concerning Ettwanae's mother.
###
"Someone speak. What is the decision?" Phai demanded. Being outside the circle of decision-making was a position she did not relish. Ramifications loomed in what the very young Esha'Aru was hoping to do. Oh, there were things Phai could do to stop it despite Bae's threat, but the extremely tenuous trust she was building was a precious thing, as well – a truce nearly unheard of between Shozen and Esha'Aru during Phai's Council tenure, and even before that. And so, Phai would not prevent the procedure, but she fervently hoped Volu could talk some sense into Bae and Ettwanae.
The galaxy needed Ettwanae and Warren alive and well; they didn't know that, though. As far as the pair was concerned, the Esha'Aru clones were the key to accessing the Nexus. If Warren became aware otherwise and what was entailed, the situation could become unnecessarily more complicated. No, best to keep everyone in the dark on that issue until the point of no return.
"Open the complex door, Phai – I am coming in."
That was Volu's strained voice. Phai knew instantly the Eshaar'ne lost her argument.
"I am going to save my mother, Phai, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
Fire in the young woman's eyes together with a slight spread wings underscored Ettwanae's determination. Phai stifled a smile at the display of feistiness. It was then that she fully allowed herself the amazement of who stood in the lab on Ekkamm – a whole and healthy Esha'Aru. So rare. She was very privileged. Phai was in a position to reestablish the bond between her people and their created children. If they could save the galaxy together, it was perhaps the beginning of a new era between the races. Phai would not jeopardize that. In fact…
Phai allowed the smile she'd held back. "I would not think of it, Ettwanae. You require a teacher to learn Ura'maalei – I can do that from here. For the actual procedure, Den-neer will assist." She loved the stunned, wide-eyed expression on the other woman's face.
"Den-neer?!"
Warren moved to Ettwanae's side, looking very protective. "I won't allow him near her."
"He can lend strength."
"You expect us to trust him after everything he's done?" Warren looked as incredulous as Ettwanae.
"Den-neer acted on my orders. And he never harmed either of you. If I was there, I'd offer my own assistance, but I am far from your location."
"I don't trust him!" Ettwanae snapped.
Phai groaned internally – her past actions were coming back to haunt. "You fear him, I understand. All I can ask is for a leap of faith in believing he will cause you no harm now. Don't you want to use every available resource to save T'Qilla?"
Warren scowled. "Why haven't you the two of you saved T'Qilla before now?"
"Neither Den-neer nor I can heal T'Qilla directly – the Aru energies are not sufficiently compatible, but they are compatible enough that he can lend strength to Ettwanae. His Aru will fortify Ettwanae, allowing her to give more to T'Qilla."
The pair exchanged troubled looks before the twin set of blue eyes relocked on her.
"Then I'll help her."
Phai shook her head. "Two novices performing the high-risk procedure endangers not only you, but the person you are trying to save. No, it will be Den-neer or no one." On that, Phai would be firm. When distrust and doubt remained on their faces, she continued. "Ettwanae, if you insist on going through with this, please give you and your mother every possibility of success. Den-neer is your best chance – not Warren. I have trained Den-neer in the technique of directing lifeforce in a way that will strengthen you. Warren, despite that fact that you and Ettwanae are of the same Aru energy, your inexperience will jeopardize the delicate balance of energy flow required. Den-neer is skilled in that talent."
Warren's eyes narrowed, and the expected challenge came. "He's performed Ura'maalei before?"
"No, but he understands the baseline concepts and methods. He has learned and practiced control of Aru energy since he was young. Can you say the same?"
"They healed Volu – twice – and did just fine!"
The sharp objection came from a source Phai had nearly forgotten was there. She turned toward the Human. "You make my point unintentionally, Lanic. You confuse physical healing with what needs to happen during Ura'maalei. Any such confusion in Ettwanae will kill T'Qilla, not heal her. And remember what I said earlier, healing someone who is performing ru'zha is a unique and extremely difficult task. Ettwanae requires a skilled partner."
The boy shrank with the harshness of her words, but everyone needed to be clear on the gravity of the effort. Phai studied the three faces and believed she had successfully argued her case.
"I'll trust you, Phai," Ettwanae announced. Warren leaned close and whispered something in Ettwanae's ear. Phai wished she was there in person – a quick telepathic touch would have confirmed what she believed he'd asked. Ettwanae nodded. Then their hands and fingers intertwined, and Warren's other arm snaked around her waist. The loving gestures warmed Phai's heart as it hadn't been in a very long time. She vowed to do whatever was necessary to ensure the pair could remain together – they represented the future of the Esha'Aru race in the Trient.
"Then I must instruct you as to what is required as best I can from a distance. Training will begin immediately. Bae, your knowledge will also be required."
"All I know, Ettwanae will know."
Phai scanned the holo replica of the laboratory that filled her office until she found what she sought standing unnoticed in a far corner. "Den-neer, I will instruct you in the details of Ura'maalei, as well." The man bowed his head briefly in acknowledgement.
"When can we perform Ura'maalei?"
"When you are ready, Ettwanae. How soon that will be, depends on how quickly you learn. The past days have been stressful for you and everyone around you – that stress needs to be shed and your Aru and Ura calm. Meditation will be beneficial."
The Esha'Aru fluttered her wings in apparent agitation. "A few days? Weeks? I want an idea."
"There will be multiple lessons." Then she caught a new type of worry on Warren. "Something is troubling you?"
A sideways glance toward his would-be soulbound told Phai the concern had something to do with the female. Warren's change of expression she read as hesitancy. Ettwanae noticed, as well, and stepped back from him, frowning.
"What's wrong, Warren?"
"Well, it was what Phai said about Aru and Ura needing to be calm." Then he turned back Phai's direction. "That's important?"
Phai gestured affirmative. "Quite. Any turbulence in the Aru energy will make the procedure far more difficult."
"And emotional levelness is…"
"Part of equation; hence, the mediation."
The man shifted uneasily, before speaking again. "Ettwanae is in the middle of an emotionally and physically challenging time."
Before Phai could ask for clarification, the young Human chimed in. "She's molting! Emotional levelness ain't somethin' she's got right now," he said with a dramatic swiping of hands through the air.
Phai studied the Esha'Aru whose face instantly clouded over into darkness. "The molt is difficult for you?"
"I can control it." The reply was terse.
Lanic's snicker and Warren's raised eyebrows told Phai much. "Then perhaps we need to wait until the worst passes."
"NO!" exploded from Ettwanae. Just as quickly, she pulled herself still. "I don't want to wait. I can handle it."
"That'd be a first," the boy muttered almost too quietly to hear. Almost.
The emotional unsteadiness of molting was an issue, but not insurmountable. "Then we will simply put more emphasis on meditation. Den-neer will teach you techniques to use now and in the future. Warren, do you suffer the same difficulties?"
"I'm not molting-"
She waved her hand sharply to cut him off. "That was not my question, as you well know."
His lips pursed tightly from the admonition. After several silent seconds, he relented. "Sometimes."
"Then you will both benefit from his teachings." It was not a question, but a command.
"I already know meditation," Warren protested.
"Good. Then Ettwanae will have two teachers." Phai liked the idea more and more. Having the pair bond meditatively may prove beneficial in the future. "First, though, sustenance and recuperation are top priority for the rest of Ekkamm's day and the coming night. Today has been long and filled with much stress. Tomorrow, training begins. Until then, the teachers will plan and the students will…" She stretched a large smile across her face. "…be lazy."
Phai broke the holo-comm link with the Ekkamm facility, feeling quite pleased. Perhaps, just perhaps, they would succeed in saving T'Qilla. If they could, it may help atone for the loss of Ettwanae's father, T'Azrued, twenty-some years earlier. And for P'Tiaera decades before in the disastrous test at Atmos Prime. The only redeeming outcome of that fiasco was confirmation of some of the old U'larr writings. Sadly, the price had been very high.
'But the past is the past – nothing can undo it,' the Shozen told herself as she walked to the desk and sat. She'd received a neuro alert minutes earlier of an important message from Elder Sequi. Giving the mental command to the resident AI, his image materialized.
"Greetings, Elder. I am comming about the latest burst from the galactic core. The event was far stronger than the previous. I fear we've even less time than believed. In my opinion, the Council must expedite our already accelerated plans. We should convene. I await your summons." And the man's likeness vanished.
Phai's heart sank. Even less time? She would analyze the data herself, but Sequi was as capable as she at analysis. If he believed the end was coming more quickly than even earlier estimates, he was likely correct. She cued up the data packet sent from the sensor array that surrounded the supermassive black hole. Scanning the readings, she could see no argument against Sequi's assessment. A comm to the Elder of Elders of Trients El and Ut was in order before she summoned her own Council.
Squeezing her eyes closed, she shuddered in the face of what the latest eruption could mean.
"Goddess, if we ever needed your guidance, it is now."
###
He wanted her somethin' fierce, the old phrase went. Following Phai's orders to eat and relax, Gatebi had ventured out of Volu to join them for a surprisingly delicious meal in the Ekkamm facility's galley. Afterwards, the Volu troupe retreated to the familiar comforts of her womb. Flint and Gatebi took up station in the lounge, while Ettwanae pulled Warren into her chambers for a cuddle session. Warren had his doubts on the wisdom, but went along, protesting only enough to appear sensible.
Avoidance of kissing or stroking helped, but his insides were trembling from the effort not to give in.
"Are you too uncomfortable?" she asked, her head resting on his chest. They were propped against plump pillows on the bed, laying side by side, his arm around her and a hand tangled within the voluminous hair.
"Honestly? Close to the edge. I think I can handle it if we remain quiet like we've been doing."
Her head move up and down. "Me, too, but it's a good kind of pain…like the ache of anticipation, or-" She huffed. "Difficult to describe. Maybe like when I was young and really needed to get into the sky, but had to wait until Baumpa and I could get outside the city. I wanted to fly so much it hurt physically, but the excitement of knowing I would soon made my insides squiggle."
"Just wish we knew when we could do what I really need to do."
She raised her head up, sorrow visible in the blue orbs. "I'm sorry." She combed fingers through his hair soothingly.
He grabbed her hand, placed it to his lips, but not in a kiss – even that might be too dangerous if they wished to remain together that evening. "Don't apologize, Ettwanae. It is not your fault. Feel bad with me, empathize, cry out against the injustice, but don't ever apologize."
Her eyes roamed his face as if to take it in and burn into memory every nuance. "If I don't survive the attempt to save Mother, I want to know that you will be okay. In a funny way, you and I not being soulbound is a comfort right now. I don't have to worry so much about you."
That surprised him – Warren hadn't allowed himself to mull over the possibility of her dying. She had, and it yanked harshly. He wrapped her in an embrace, loving the feel of feathers against his skin. "That won't happen." He wanted to say he wouldn't allow it, but feared she'd take it the wrong way – that he'd stop her from helping T'Qilla. Yet, if it came to that…
"It could."
"It won't, even if I have to physically squeeze the life out of Den-neer to make sure he gives you the strength you need."
She jerked in his arms and rose up to stare him down. "No one dies because of me. Promise it to me!"
The intensity of the reaction caught him by surprise, yet didn't. Her gentle spirit came through again. "If I can prevent it, I will. Promise." That settled her back down onto his chest, and he daringly stroked a wing. "Are you afraid?"
"A little," she admitted. He raised an eyebrow, and she sighed. "A lot, actually, but not like on Neu. I'm more afraid of doing something that makes Mother's condition worse – that I'll be responsible for her…dying." Warren could feel tension tighten the slender body and wings. "Couldn't bear that."
"If what they say is true, she will die if you do nothing. I say you can only make it better."
"My head knows that, Warren, but the rest of me?"
He risked a kiss to the top of her head. "What can I do to help?"
She nestled in tighter. "Just stay with me. If it all goes horribly wrong, I need to know you'll be there."
"I'm not going anywhere." And if it all went horribly wrong and she died? Who would be there for him? He shoved dire thoughts away. "What I said earlier about what I need…it's so much more than Aru urgings. I love you, Ettwanae, and I want to make love with you and be with you. The physical is only part of it…it goes so much deeper than that. I want us to be…one – to be close in everyway. Part of each other. Truly a couple." He huffed in frustration from being unable to find the precise words for the feelings. "Am I making sense?"
"You want to be soulbound."
He rolled that over. "Funny thing? I think I might feel that way already, but sort of incomplete. Like we're almost there, yet not quite. Logical, I guess, given that we're not."
She traced a finger down his arm. He shuddered as urges swelled. Digging fingernails deep into palms gave him a different sensation to focus on.
"Sorry." She pulled her hand back. "Maybe we feel almost there because we're intended soulbounds."
"That's how you feel as well?"
She nodded. "We're so close..it's so-o-o-o-"
"Frustrating."
"And infuriating!" she huffed. "Flint said that I'm your cock tease."
That was like a splash of ice water. Instant wrath cooled sexual tension, but he caught himself. She'd used English to repeat the phrase.
"Do you know what that means?"
"The translator says a couple of different things that don't make much sense. Do you know what he meant by that?"
'Flint, when I get my hands on you…' he shot the mental warning down the hall. Honesty or whitewash? He took only a moment to decide. "Well, it's slang where we come from and means that you arouse me sexually but I can't do anything about it."
She giggled. "That describes it well. I'm your cock tease."
"Ah, Ettwanae? I wouldn't go around saying that, especially on Earth. Sometimes, it's considered a bit derogatory."
She was silent for several heartbeats. "Do you think he meant it in a bad way?" Hurt was waiting in the wings.
Again, truth or sugarcoat? "I'm going with the explanation that he couldn't come with up a better term. He's young and male and sometimes isn't the wisest in his choice of words."
Turning her face up, she chuckled. "I've known him longer than you – you're being kind. I think he meant it to be not so nice." Warren raised an eyebrow. "But not to be truly mean-spirited, but just because that's the way he views it. Flint can be blunt."
He laughed. "Oh, yeah, that he can! He grows on a person after a while, though. And it's obvious he cares about you…as a friend."
She returned to her cuddled position. "He does. I'm glad I decided to save him on Hydeera. Gatebi, too. It is hard to imagine my life without them. Though Flint sometimes really irritates both of us. He's like an annoying younger sibling, Gatebi said once."
"The stereotypical obnoxious little brother," Warren rephrased.
Ettwanae grew quiet, and Warren did not break the comfortable lull. Sexual tension aside, he felt so at peace with her in his arms. He was certain he'd never felt that quite so powerfully with any other woman. Peaceful contentment with another person was likely a rare thing, he decided.
"I've noticed a few changes between them lately," she suddenly announced.
"Between who?"
"Gatebi and Flint."
"What kind?"
"Nothing obvious…just that they don't seem quite so quick to snap at each other."
"Hmmmm, an interesting development perhaps?"
Her snicker vibrated against his chest. "It would be, wouldn't it?"
"Indeed it would!"
###
Gatebi and Flint settled into the gathering room – she in her favorite chair, legs dangling across the arm with a book open on her PI, and he on the lounger, stretched out, but with his PI poised for action. Except he hadn't activated it.
With the lack of movement by the otherwise animated gamer, Gatebi gazed over. She recognized the signs and rested the PI on her lap. "You seem worried. Anything you wish to talk about?"
Flint snorted. "Nah, nothin' much. The universe is on the brink of total destruction. The Shozen aren't the bad guys we thought they was. The Dark Ones are henchmen for some crazy, all-powerful dude, and they're the ones who've been the enemy all along. Twae's mother is alive, but dyin' and to save her, Twae may die. And tomorrow, the guy we've been runnin' from all this time is gonna give Ettwanae and Warren meditation lessons? Screwy! Nope, nothin' much at all to talk 'bout."
"It is all a lot to take in."
Suddenly, Flint shot straight up. "Damn right, it is! Shit, Gabby – the whole fuckin' universe could just go poof! And why? 'Cause some screwed up superbeing daddy is pissed off at his daughter? How fucked up is that?!"
Gabby swung her legs around to face forward. "It is truly fucked up."
Flint's eyes shot to his shipmate. "If you say it's fucked up, then it is really bad!" The PI slid from his hand to the lounger, then the floor. "I don't know if I believe it. Sounds like some crazy person's shit. Maybe this Phai's a nut case, and it's all in her head. All we got is her word."
"And Bae's. And it all fits, Flint. There's not one thing Phai has said that contradicts. Volu said her story is sound."
The teen sighed and shook his head. "I know. Wishful thinkin', I guess." Then with elbows on knees, he buried his face in his hands. "What if they can't stop it? I don't want it all to end!"
"They'll stop it, Flint."
The hands came down and anger sparked in the green eyes. "You don't know that! Nobody knows that – not even the almighty Shozen!" With suddenness, Flint was on his feet, hands fisted. "Fuck, Gabby! My family – your family – everyone's families will be gone! Earth, Alcab…fuckin' everything. It'll be like we never existed! Like the galaxy was never here. It's just…" the voice hitched. "just too much!"
Gatebi rose and eased to Flint. "Have faith. That is all we can do." She placed a hand on his shoulder, which he quickly shrugged off.
"Faith in what? God? Whose god? Isn't this Ozshi'wanae really our god? She supposedly created our whole freakin' universe and can't protect us without the help of the Shozen? Some god that is! I don't know what to believe no more. Where's the god my Mom always talks 'bout? All bullshit? Everythin's all twisted crazy and not like how I thought it was!"
Her hand found his arm, and was not rejected. "Flint, I understand why you're upset. I was, too. But I have a theory that may help. Do you wish to hear it?"
He eyed her for several moments. "Why not?" Then he flopped down on the lounger.
Gatebi settled next to him, her hand reclaiming its reassuring presence on his forearm. "What you said about Ozshi'wanae and her not being able to protect us on her own…that troubled me. I don't know about your beliefs, but the god I believe in is all-powerful. The gods Phai talks about seem petty and selfish and although they are more powerful than we can comprehend, they obviously have limits. Why?" Her free hand rose and tilted in questioning emphasis. "And where did they come from? Perhaps they are creations of an even more powerful being – one that can move freely between dimensions and time. A god with no limits. One that looks upon his misbehaving children and grandchildren…great-grandchildren even – us," the hand went to her chest, "and shakes a head in sad disappointment."
Flint gave her a wry smirk. "A bunch of no-good troublemakers, as my step dad would say."
The Alcab leaned very close to the Human. "But a loving parent sees the potential for good and helps guide the young, stepping in when necessary to set them back on the right path. But sometimes to grow, the child must take missteps and try things his or her own way first. A wise parent knows that. It is that loving, all-powerful god I am holding to – the God of Gods, as called in my culture. Until now, I wasn't sure what that reference meant. Perhaps, now I do…" Her voice trailed off.
"So you believe if the Shozen fail, that this God of Gods might step in to save the day?"
Gatebi eased back with a reassuring gaze to Flint. "Faith tells me there is much more to this than two gods at odds. I don't choose to believe that our galaxy…maybe even our universe…is simply a toy to be taken away by an upset father."
Gatebi's hand dropped from his arm as Flint plucked the PI from the floor. "I'm goin' with your version – I like the idea of grand-daddy steppin' in to knock some sense into his bastard of a kid to help his granddaughter."
She rose and smiled. "You have a way of summing things up." With two quick strides, Gatebi returned to her favorite spot, drew legs up and over the chair arm, and settled into her earlier pose.
Flint sprawled across the lounger, and initiated his favorite game – LanicWorld. "Hey, Vo! Wanna go a round with me?"
A feeling of mirth filled the gathering room. "Your desire to be repeatedly trounced is mystifying, Flint. You should look for an opponent you have a chance of besting."
"Ha!" The teen snorted instant indignation. "Trash-talk won't help ya, Eshaar'ne!"
"We shall see, Flint."
And with that, it was game on.
###
"One of your strategies regarding the Dark Coming doesn't make sense, Phai."
Warren found himself alone with the Shozen's holo form after their group mediation session, which was followed by Ettwanae's first Ura'maalei lesson. He felt the need to watch over Ettwanae, still not 100 percent trusting of their hosts. Ettwanae was proving impatient even having just begun training – she tried to push through the basics, but Phai didn't back down. By the time the session ended, Ettwanae was more than a little testy. He decided to give her time to decompress.
"Which one?"
Phai studied him closely, almost to the point of making Warren uncomfortable. He hesitated in answering, choosing to return the visual analysis instead. She turned and walked several paces. The holo projection showed the woman was in a garden setting. Settling on a bench, the alien looked off into the distance.
"As I mentioned earlier, I chose this form because of the likelihood the Zchezuans were one of the donor races in the creation of the Esha'Aru."
Warren wasn't certain how to response to Phai's out-of-nowhere statement and gave her a questioning look. "With your advanced technology, I would have thought you could figure that out."
"It isn't as straightforward as you may believe." The white-haired head dipped. "Eons ago, the galaxy was seeded with DNA strains either directly from the U'larr themselves, genetically manipulated from lower life forms, or a combination thereof and left to evolve."
"You mentioned that before – to create sentient life."
She turned her face to him. Whispers of iridescent blue danced through the long, white hair. Phai was beautiful, but there was a hardness to her beauty that wasn't exactly physical…more of an aura.
"To give its development a boost. Ever wonder why so many of the races seem to be roughly at the same stage of development with many having so much in common physically?"
"Yes, ever since I became aware of life beyond Earth. I often wondered about a common ancestry, but I've seen species in many stages of development, from star-hopping to the more primitive people of Neu."
Phai chuckled. "You think as a short-lived mortal. Expand your perspective. In terms of millions upon billions of years, the young races are all close in age. Granted, some are barely beyond infants and others are toddlers or adolescents, but they are all siblings. The U'larr were fully into adulthood. They wished for a new generation of life, but with diversity, not thousands of replicants of themselves."
"And so the young races are a genetic goulash."
Phai nodded. "A mishmash of different goulashes, more precisely. Now imagine the challenge of determining with certainty which races where used to create the Esha'Aru."
"Those records were lost in the collapse?"
"Correct, along with much of the U'larr's vast scientific and technological knowledge. Five thousand years of neglect destroys many things."
"And because you're no longer U'larr enough, you can't access the Nexus library." Phai gestured affirmative. "When you say you chose your form, what do you mean?"
"I was born in the usual way, but in a different body. Once an adult and I became a member of our organization, that body did not serve my ultimate role well. I shed that form and took this one, which was created to my specifications."
"Genetically engineered?"
"Cloned, but I decided against any augmentation. The Zchezuan form was fully adequate for my purposes." She leaned back and crossed long legs. Once again, Phai wore an elegant ankle-length dress, that day in a soft champagne. Warren wondered if she always dressed that way, or only when 'entertaining guests.'
"You transferred into the clone? How?"
"Aru and Ura transference – soul exchange, to give it a simple term. One of the U'larr traits some of us still possess and a requirement to be an Elder. It is a difficult and sometimes risky procedure, so transference is not undertaken lightly. We can talk in-depth later to satisfy your curiosity, but right now, you have another concern you wish to address."
Warren took a seat in the room they had used for Ettwanae's lesson. Getting comfortable, he examined the holographic Phai closely. Technology made her seem quite real – much like the Danger Room in the X-mansion. He had to keep reminding himself she was not flesh and bone.
"Where are you right now?"
"My home on a planet that must remain unknown, but it is within The Systems Commonwealth. If the Dark Ones were to learn my whereabouts…" She didn't need to finish. "This garden is my favorite place. It calms my soul. There is a similar garden at your location, Warren. Perhaps your meditation lessons could be done there. I'll suggest it to Den-neer," she offered with a small smile. "Now, explain what strategy does not make sense to you."
So many questions yet unasked, details unknown, and mysteries unsolved. One in particular on a very personal note, immediately sprang to mind. But did he want that answered? He pushed the errant thought aside.
"Why you've kept knowledge of the Dark Coming from everyone. I know with certainty the Turzents and Ztar don't know about it. Do any of the advanced races know what's going on?"
"We have managed to keep the knowledge to ourselves. Not even the Etagllot know to what end they work."
"I don't get your reasoning for secrecy. If in your shoes, I'd want as many as possible working on the problem. The more advanced races, like the Turzents, could help."
A raised eyebrow told him that she was surprised. "Warren, you are highly intelligent from everything we've learned. You tell me why we'd do so."
He wasn't prepared for the turnabout. She'd caught him questioning the policy of secrecy without first analyzing it. Now he'd have to muddle through on the fly.
"From an outsider's perspective, it seems almost arrogant not to ask for help. The Commonwealth and Turzent Empire have advanced scientific knowledge and technology – not the caliber of the U'larr, but still worth employing when a galaxy is at stake. Why not bring all available resources into play?"
She didn't answer, but simply waited for him to continue the analysis. He was at a loss as to why you would not rally every bit of skill and knowledge you could muster. The resources and energy that hundreds of species could mount to stave off annihilation would be massive. Everyone working together against a common threat…a collective front.
Then a possibility dawned.
"This isn't just about resource utilization, is it?" Phai only gestured to continue. "It is the psychological impacts and cultural ramifications."
A wide smile told him he got it. "Yes, Warren. That is why we developed the subculture of the Etagllot. To drain the resources of the young races, to have them live under the psychological black cloud of total annihilation – even if only their leaderships knew – would have profound impacts upon species psyche and development."
Warren found a hole in that argument. "Governments work on secret projects all the time."
"But governments are made up of people and those people control more than secret projects. Their long-term vision and decision-making foundation would be tainted by the psychological affects. And as more and more people and resources were pulled into the effort, how long would it be before the reason leaked out? Before knowing the end was drawing near impacted every decision those in power made? What would happen if all was revealed? Would chaos rein? Panic? Lawlessness? Mass depression? And what if that occurred just when we needed all species to unite for the final battle?"
"It could be disastrous."
She nodded. "An unrecoverable situation."
A very ominous thought crossed Warren's mind. "Chaos at the right moment could be the ultimate weapon against us."
"The Eilu – very good. Yes, they may try to create panic and chaos exactly when we need calm and unity, or disrupt communication. We have done all we can to ensure whatever they've planned is mitigated to the best of our ability."
"How?"
"It's a battle of technologies. We have our own communication network. We have also infiltrated the comm systems of the advanced races. Should the Eilu attempt to hijack those for illicit purposes, we can shut the systems down or, even more desirable, block the incursion. We have people in strategic positions throughout all the key races who we hope can prevent or at least limit disruptive actions by Eilu operatives."
"The Eilu can't stand light. I assume the one we faced on Ayni was genetically engineered to overcome that problem."
"Correct. We thank Ozshi'wanae that those genetic successes are rare from what we've ascertained, or the Eilu's existence here could have sealed our fate long ago. Their kind is vastly different genetically and that has thwarted their efforts to create light-tolerant half-breeds with this dimension's life forms. That severely limits their numbers. However, over the thousands of years, they have cultivated a following within many species that is anchored in the belief that darkness is eternal and its ruler is supreme."
Warren jerked. "As in Satan?"
"I'm unfamiliar with the reference."
"A religious figure on Earth. Also known as the Lord of Darkness…one that turn against God – a god that just so happens to be associated with light. At least, that's the story in my faith."
"A possible connection or perhaps none at all. This Satan has followers?"
"Yes, though I don't think the numbers are significant."
"That has been the bane of the Eilu in our galaxy. Darkness does not have inherent appeal to the sentient beings of our dimension and it limits their successes on that front. Life here is light-based – it will always attract us on deep physiological and psychological levels."
"While darkness hides the boogeyman."
She raised a white-haired eyebrow. "Indeed!"
"So the Eilu attempted to gain an unwitting following for chaotic effect."
"That is what we suspect, although it does not appear to be an active tactic. Had they garnered a substantial following, they could have used those forces to create widespread pandemonium and greatly hampered The Call – when all must offer up some of their lifeforce. It remains a possibility, but we do not believe it a viable scenario. More likely, they will attempt to disrupt communications at the critical moment."
A lull formed in the conversation as Warren became lost in reflection about Eilu, Satan, dark forces, and Earth's religions and how they may have been influenced not by deities, but aliens. Then thinking floated back to Esha'Aru origins, and what species or other life forms contributed to their DNA pool. Phai's Zchezuan eyes were a perfect match to Ettwanae's…to his. With that, the big question snuck around the shadowy periphery. It prodded and prickled. It could not be ignored. He wanted to ask, yet not.
Then he realized Phai was studying him intently once again. When he caught her, she tilted her head in curiosity.
"What is it that is troubling you?"
For a moment, he remained silent. Then he startled himself by bursting out in laughter. "We're facing the possible end of the galaxy, and you're wondering what's bothering me?"
Phai was not put off. "What I see is personal discord and nothing to do with galactic state of affairs."
The Shozen was too damn intuitive or saw something in Warren's body language he hadn't intended, and it was irritating. He rose sharply from the chair, which suddenly felt too confining and not at all designed for someone with wings. "Are you a telepath? An empath? Both?" With a wave of his arm, he dismissed the questions. "Never mind – doesn't matter. You're not really here."
"Both."
For some reason, that furthered the annoyance, and he began to slowly wander the room. He'd spent his whole adult life around telepaths – that she was one didn't surprise him. "Part of Zchezuan DNA or your Shozen soul?"
"U'larr ability, but you are avoiding my question."
She was right, and it grated on prickly nerves. 'What's the matter, Worthington? Afraid of the answer?'
"You may feel better if we discuss the issue," the elegant alien pressed softly.
Wings flicked with their own will. He hated when they gave away his emotional unease. 'What's the worse she can say? It is really be so bad? Just ask, Worthington!'
He drew in a breath to plunge ahead before he lost the nerve. "The Etagllot – when they had me and Ztar…I was told they ran all kinds of tests, but I don't remember any of that. Did they look at my DNA or just the nannites? The only thing anyone has ever talked about is the nannites. I was wondering what they learned and if any of it ties into what Fjai discovered. Wait, you don't know about that. I went there for some tests. What they learned was interesting and raised more questions…" He shut his mouth and gritted his teeth. 'God, you're rambling like an idiot. Get a grip!'
"I know about Fjai."
Warren came to an abrupt halt and shot her a hard look. "You do?"
"Your display was impressive – another kind of Source channeling. It surprised many of the Elders and provided more evidence supporting my opinion about you. That you became unresponsive to outside stimulus was especially intriguing. But where Fjai impressed, Neu astounded."
"Why am I not surprised you know about those? Apparently, you have spies everywhere." A snap of wings punctuated his irritation. "That wasn't just me – Ettwanae was mostly responsible. Who did you have watching us at Neu? Den-neer? "
"Neu was your combined power – that of soulbounds, or at least potential soulbounds. And, yes, Den-neer transmitted the event to me."
Blue eyes narrowed. "How long was he tracking us?"
"He and Bae were sent to help protect you and Ettwanae. As was the Turzent warship."
Warren was surprised and perturbed. "Bae and a Turzent ship were both there? Volu never mentioned other ships."
Phai seemed mildly puzzled. "Bae was heavily cloaked, it would have been extremely difficult for even Volu to detect her, but the Turzent cruiser? I cannot explain that."
The cascade of questions came in a rush. Why had Volu kept that to herself? Who was in the Turzent ship? Did Ztar know about Neu? How did the Shozen manage to trace Volu? Phai cut off racing ruminations.
"Who was at Neu and why is no longer important. What are you trying to avoid asking?"
He wanted answers to questions about Neu and the surveillance, but perhaps the Shozen was right – it no longer mattered. Returning to his physical wanderings, his mind also returned to the biggest question of all.
'Do it, Worthington. Get the uncertainty over with. Man up and ask.' The wings spread slightly, another outward reflection of the inner turmoil. He didn't bother reining in the misbehaving appendages. 'Take a deep breath and ask, damn it!'
"I'm Human, right? Not Esha'Aru. Just a wild coincidence." There. He asked. And held his breath.
Phai's face flickered several subtle emotions that did not elude Warren's sharp eyes. Surprise perhaps. Then a sort of ah-ha. Followed by a touch of pity? She leaned forward at her undisclosed location, resting her hands to either side, gripping the edge of the garden bench. Silence lingered a bit too long, and Warren's nerves were ready to snap.
"Do you wish to be Human?"
"I am Human."
"Then why the question?"
He was being contrary, and knew it. Fears and jumbled emotions were making logical behavior difficult. "Just answer the question."
Phai let out a long, deep sigh. "As much as I wish I could, I'm unable answer your question because we are uncertain ourselves. You display all the observable signs of being Esha'Aru, yet your DNA reads as Human. On the other side of the argument, you have no natural psychic shields – nearly all Esha'Aru do. Your wings did not appear until you were 16 Earth years old – Esha'Aru are born with theirs. Those are both indicators that you are not Esha'Aru."
The thread of hope still held.
"But," she emphasized, "you channel from The Source. You are soulbound to Ztar. Your emotional healing of the Emperor tells us you shared a very specific and unique form of Source with him. The display on Fjai and again on Neu. All signs of Esha'Aru parentage."
"My DNA is has never scanned as anything but Human – even to Shi'ar scanners."
"It scans as Human, true."
Wings twitched. "With superior knowledge and technology behind you, if you haven't found any genetic code in me other than Human, then I'm Human."
The cerulean orbs fixed to his. "It is not that clear cut."
His chest tightened. "What do you mean?"
"Ettwanae, for example, scans as Sat'reyan, even to our equipment."
"How?"
"The U'larr devised ways to shield their creation from detection by not only the physical senses – sight, touch – but from scanning technologies. You must be aware of Ettwanae's embedded cloak." Warren nodded affirmative. "That technology is child's play compared to what they accomplished on the microscopic level. Ettwanae reads as Sat'reyan because her DNA is sheathed in material that scans as Sat'reyan genetic code. The sheath is impenetrable and undetectable as anything abnormal, even to our highly advanced scanners."
"That's why when she was captured by Den-neer, the Etagllot scientists couldn't figure out she was Esha'Aru – it wasn't just her cloak."
"Correct. A double-walled shield. They knew some sort of energy field surrounded her, but their scanners couldn't identify or penetrate it. Even if they had, the DNA sheathing would maintain the Sat'reyan illusion."
"Impressive."
Phai waved a hand in the air. "More than impressive, Warren – humbling. It is a taste of how advanced our ancestors were at the height of their civilization. We've learned that not all Esha'Aru carry DNA sheathing – it is protection apparently employed as-needed and a process only a Nexus Sentinel can perform."
Warren considered what that tidbit meant. "So Ettwanae was taken to Etxan'Ir?"
"It's protector Sentinel, yes. I find it reasonable to assume that when T'Qilla decided she needed to hide Ettwanae on Sat'rey, she requested the Sentinel give that protection to her child."
"If you think I have the sheathing, then it would mean I've been to Etxan'Ir, too. I haven't."
"Not that you remember."
"You're grasping at straws."
"Does Ettwanae remember her visit?"
Warren groaned internally. For every argument against his being Esha'Aru, there was a counterpoint. He frowned. Emotionally, he wanted to fly away. Then Phai was talking again.
"Our accomplishments of the last several thousand years are nothing compared to what the U'larr were capable of. We're barely managing to recreate the organic components required to operate the Nexus – at least we believe we're close to doing so. If the Nexus are ever damaged or destroyed…" she shook her head. "It would take more than a few thousand years to learn out how to replicate them." A cock of the head and raised eyebrows signaled a question was coming. "Back to your original question. Do you wish me to share my personal opinion of your genetic heritage?"
Did he? Part of him wished to take wing and leave disturbing questions behind, but another part desired to hear Phai's opinion. 'You've gone this far.' With a skip of his heart, he nodded. Later when they reached Etxan'Ir, perhaps he could finally get closure on the issue.
Phai turned to look out to something beyond what Warren could see in the holo image. "We believe there are two possibilities. The first – you are Human in body, but Esha'Aru in lifeforce. That you have no species marker is a puzzlement – even Esha'Aru carry a unique species marker, though hidden from all known scanners."
"Except yours."
"Except ours. The one success we've had in penetrating the U'larr's cloaking defenses. That was an Etagllot breakthrough many years ago and one we've guarded at all costs. If that technology fell into Eilu hands…you can guess the ramifications."
"They could more easily find and kill Eshaaru. You had the technology on Ymoz?"
"Yes, we installed it there because some on the Council wanted undeniable proof you were Esha'Aru."
Again, Warren wondered what it was the Shozen really wanted with him and Ettwanae. "Why?"
Keen eyes caught Phai stiffening slightly. Had she let something slip? She did not look at him when answering. "To know whether or not you were worth the effort to protect." Then she seemed to relax as she turned toward him. "Has your curiosity fled?"
That caught him off-guard. "Huh?"
"The second possibility."
A diversionary tactic? "My curiosity is said to know few boundaries. Please, share your idea, but I have questions in other areas, as well."
She chuckled gently. "Warren, you are nothing but questions!" He smirked. "The second theory is that you are a half-breed who was hidden away on Earth to protect you from the Eilu. The growing mutant population would have been the perfect camouflage. Genetic sheathing would hide any abnormalities in your DNA."
That offended. "Both of my parents were Human," he proclaimed, crossing his arms.
"You are certain? After all you've learned about U'larr technology and genetic capabilities."
"If one of them was Eshaaru, they would have told me."
"I wasn't implying either of your Earth parents were."
"Then what-?" His eye widened in disbelief and instant ire. "That's ludicrous!"
"Is it? A race facing extinction, potential mates a growing rarity, cloning not a possibility…why not impregnate a genetically compatible female of another race? Human DNA is quite malleable – almost uniquely so. It's the reason mutants exist in such numbers and diversity on your world. Once the original mechanisms were triggered, the mutant population exploded."
'What the fuck is Phai suggesting?!' The idea was beyond preposterous. "My mother would never agree to anything like that! No way."
"This is only a theory, Warren. And in theory, why would she need to know?"
"As in alien abduction?"
"It has been done before. As has alien insemination of Earth's females. As I said, Human DNA is amazingly accepting of foreign genetic code." The last was nearly a whisper.
His head reeled with possibilities. A wealthy couple that had tried for years to become pregnant without success. It was no secret kept from him – they had exhausted everything medical science could offer 30-some years ago. Then suddenly, a miracle. Kathryn Worthington was pregnant. Warren was their prayers answered. His mother never became pregnant again.
"In fact, one could question whether your mother actually birthed you at all. You could have easily been left with them as a newborn," Phai furthered. "The wealth of your parents would help ensure you were well cared for and well positioned in society – wealth equates power…power that could shield you and buy many secrets."
And it had. As much as he hated to admit it, either theory was plausible. But alien impregnation? Esha'Aru crossbreeding? That seemed the bigger stretch. Or was it? Phai was suggesting the Esha'Aru had done exactly what her own people did out of desperation to stave off extinction.
The Shozen allowed him silence to think. He wanted to decry the possibilities. Renounce them as implausible…as impossible even. Yet tested against the evidence he had, the hypotheses held up.
'No, I won't accept anything without undeniable proof. And she admits they don't have it.' But even as he held to humanity, between Phai and what he'd learned from Volu, his grasp had been loosened.
He switched thinking from things emotionally cataclysmic. "If T'Qilla survives and chooses to leave with us, you're not going to stop her." He didn't ask; he told.
If the Shozen was surprised by the sudden conversational redirect, she didn't show it. "We will not stop her, but I had hoped you would all stay for a while after everything you've learned."
"We were promised the coordinates to Etxan'Ir."
Phai took a visible inhale; then exhaled slowly. "And that you will get. Meanwhile, please consider staying on Ekkamm. It is the safest place from the Eilu."
"Actually, I'd feel safer on Volu in a phased state, not stuck inside a mountain. What happens if they find this place?
"They haven't yet."
"First time for everything."
"True, but they have a better record of finding and killing lone Eshaar'ne."
She had him on that one, if the genocidal story were true. That was the crux of everything – what to believe. Warren hated the unverifiable. Hard data made conclusions easier. Gut-instinct was the other tool in his decision-making arsenal. Unfortunately, it had gone mostly silent, leaving him with little to go on. He needed time to think. And there was so very much to contemplate.
"I'm Human." Why the statement came out when it did, he had no idea. He hadn't meant to say it.
Phai smiled. "In the end, Warren, you are what you decide to be. If you wish to be Human, then that is what you are. Your lifeforce is a neutral – you have no species marker. It is a trait you share with only one other known race."
"Volu told me that shortly after I joined Ettwanae. She couldn't explain it."
"Neither can we. All sentient species in this galaxy have a marker. All but one – the U'larr. In the beginning, they were the only sentients in our galaxy. Markers were unnecessary. When they spread life seed throughout the galaxy, they gave each strain a unique identifier."
"A tag."
"Yes. A way to forever trace back to the original genetic recipe. Unfortunately, those recipes have been lost."
"Then how am I without one?"
"All I can hypothesize is that you are the next step in evolution for sentient life or an atavism. Remember, life seed DNA originated in part from the U'larr."
More to contemplate. All he'd thought to be reality had morphed before his eyes during the past few days into something foreign. Warren strode to a small desk and sat down heavily. Drained and overstuffed…that was described how he felt. Phai rose and joined him near the table, a holographic hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
"You've learned much in a short time. If you are feeling overwhelmed, I understand. Give yourself time. Stay for a while – you and your friends – once T'Qilla is awake. You are safe here. Rest. Recuperate. Absorb. Give T'Qilla time to adjust. And if your curiosity hasn't been completely sated, there is more to learn."
More? He had no interest at that moment. Her offer to settle for a while was tempting; it would be a nice change. Still, Etxan'Ir waited and with it perhaps a cure for the nannites and more information about Ettwanae's people. Even Phai herself admitted they did not know if a hidden group of Esha'Aru may have escaped detection.
"There is potentially more to learn from Etxan'Ir."
Phai shook her heard slowly with a sigh. "You will not gain access – you can't soulbind with Ettwanae. You risk being killed as intruders…assuming that you get past the Eilu."
Warren jerked. "They know where it is?" Something flickered in the blue eyes, and Warren knew. "Atmos Prime is Etxan'Ir!"
Her gaze left his face and a resigned expression hardened the features. "In a way. Atmos Prime is the Sentinel planet and the dimensional doorway to Etxan'Ir. The Eilu have known the location for a long time, but have never possessed the means to gain entry. If they capture Ettwanae and her amulet, that will be another key in their possession. We suspect they have attempted to enter before and were destroyed. What we don't know is how close they are to replicating what's required."
"They tried to get Ettwanae's amulet at Neu, but they wanted to kill us."
She nodded. "Which could mean they have their own soulbound Esha'Aru. If they gain access to the Sentinel, it's conceivable they could destroy it from within, thus sealing off Etxan'Ir forever. Or killing you was simply part their continuing campaign to deny us the keys."
"You're afraid if we go there alone, they could get her amulet."
"Volu and Bae would be no match against several Eilu ships. It would be suicide."
Warren swallowed hard. They knew Atmos Prime could be dangerous, but if he believed Phai, it would be beyond foolhardy to go there on their own. What would have happened if Bae hadn't convinced Volu to come to Ekkamm and they had gone? A sobering thought.
Looking up into the eyes that were so much like his, he noted they were actually a more brilliant blue – quite stunning. Suddenly, he felt something…something like a connection. Instinct rushed in, and a deep, inner voice answered the biggest question of all. Phai was telling the truth. About it all. Warren shuddered and looked away. Knowing didn't make anything easier.
"Warren, my offer still stands. We will take you there when the time is right and all our forces are in place. That time is not yet."
"When?"
"I fear soon."
Decision made. "Once the situation with T'Qilla is resolved, I'll talk to the others about your offer to stay here for awhile. I'm going to recommend we accept."
###
A word from you, the reader, would be very encouraging. Don't be shy. If you like this story, please let me know. Meanwhile, heartfelt thanks to my faithful reviewers – you are treasures!
Next time, more of our favorite Etagllot to hate (al'Verta Hercjell), Bae makes an offer to Ettwanae, and Volu confesses.