Chapter 14

Decided to post another chapter this weekend to pick up the pace a bit. Hope you enjoy!

###

The 'I love yous' still hung in the air after Ztar's holo image dissipated. Warren had asked Volu to bust through the Etagllot communication blackout so he could check for messages via his PI. Sure enough, one from Ztar waited.

He'd wanted to share all he learned with his friend and emperor, but why? The man could do nothing to help. No, Warren decided to spare Ztar that mammoth burden of worry. And after his talk with Phai, it would be what the Shozen leader wanted, as well – not that he cared what she wanted when it came to his friends.

Turned out, Ztar's precognitive abilities were warning him something was amiss, but not what that was. While possible the premonition was unrelated to The Dark Coming, Warren would bet otherwise. He wondered if other precogs across the galaxy were experiencing the same nonspecific sense of wrongness or dread. Perhaps some had clear visions. Thoughts turned to home and Xavier. Charles didn't possess precognitive ability, but he knew people who did.

Warren put the PI on the crate that served as his nightstand within the tiny former storage space that was his bedroom.

'No, next check-in with Charles, the secret of the Dark Coming should stay just that. Should being the operative word. We'll see how the conversation goes.'

"Volu, where's Ettwanae?"

"With T'Qilla. Her lesson with Phai begins shortly."

He should have known. Ettwanae spent nearly every spare moment sitting next to her mother's stasis pod talking as if she could hear. Maybe she could. The balance of her time was spent in Ura'maalei training or mediation.

Actually, Warren and the others were relieved that Ettwanae's attention was focused elsewhere. Peaking molt hormones mixed with new stresses was making her volatile and unpleasant company. A smirk escaped.

"Given Ettwanae's disposition of late, I almost feel sorry for Phai. Almost. Can't quite bring myself to go that far."

Mirth filled the air. "I would conjecture Phai did not anticipate her grand news about T'Qilla would result in a personal trial of fortitude."

Warren chuckled. "Working with Ettwanae right now is small penance. Thanks, by the way, for getting my PI signal through the security blocks. I appreciate it."

"You are welcome, Warren. I am not above taking pleasure in usurping flaunted Etagllot technology when I can."

"Still have bones to pick with them, I take it?"

Volu was silent for several seconds, leaving Warren to wonder whether she'd figure out the idiom.

"If you mean I have grievances, I do."

"I did, and we're together on that. The end never justifies the means when it includes callus disregard for the welfare of others."

"Precisely."

Then feeling brave, Warren decided to check on the love of his life to see how training was going.

###

It had to happen. The facility wasn't large enough that one could avoid the other indefinitely. He actually wasn't quite sure why he'd unconsciously steered clear of her – it wasn't as if she were a threat. Phai reassured that the Etagllot and Hercjell in particular understood that Warren and company were strictly off limits. The Shozen leader went so far as to say that the consequence to any Etagllot disobeying those orders was execution. Phai meant business.

As he entered the facility galley for a mid-morning snack, the woman was there. He'd learned from Ztar a while back that she originated from the Par-Sen realm, but he hadn't bothered asking what species she was. Didn't matter and he couldn't care less. But as she turned from the cold storage compartment with some sort of fruit or vegetable in hand, he gave her the once over. Humanoid with the standard-issue two legs and arms; standing maybe 5 foot 7 inches tops; slender frame; an elongated face with a very small nose, large grey eyes, vertical slits on either side of her head that were likely ears with a barely-there flaps, and a short crop of what looked like a combination of fur and hair in a cinnamon color. Her skin tone was a deep golden brown, but not liked tanned Caucasian skin – too much gold in the mix. Hercjell wasn't good looking, but she wasn't ugly either…on the outside.

'Inside is a different story,' he thought bitterly.

"Archangel!" she said in over-the-top warmth. "I was starting to believe you were avoiding me." The smile on her face was anything but friendly. Hackles rose and feathers ruffled in auto-response. "But why would you do that? We're all friends here. Bunking down together…eating and working side by side." Then her big eyes grew even larger in feigned gaffe. "Oh, forgive me. You and your crew don't work. You simply eat."

His blood was instantly boiling. That she was able to get under his skin so quickly further riled. 'Get a grip, Worthington – she's pushing your buttons just to see you react.' He snapped his wings dismissively and did an about face intent on a quick exit.

"Leaving so soon? Was Ymoz simply tall tales from guards who had to explain their ineptitude? I was told you were a warrior, not a coward."

He halted, seething. He knew he shouldn't. It's what she wanted. But he'd allow sensibility to lose out to pride one time and swung around. "A warrior knows when to walk away from a fight that is meaningless. Talking with you is not only pointless, but a waste of my time."

She set her food down and tsked with a wave of hand for emphasis. "How can you know that? We haven't determined the topic."

"I'm finding it hard to imagine a topic of interest to you that would be of importance to me."

A cold smile slowly cut across her face. "Gatebi Eudara."

Warren would have laid money on the topic being he or the nannites. Gatebi was a complete surprise. Unfortunately, the woman had hooked him. As much as it angered, he had to take the bait.

"Spill it, Hercjell."

"She has a question and I have an answer, but she hasn't asked me, only one of my staff."

Warren snorted. "What's the question? And why not answer it?"

Hercjell's stiff laugh was grating. "And where's the fun in that? She needs to come to me…my staff is powerless to help her. I, on the other hand, have already made the necessary inquires and if she desires answers, she must come to me. Tell her that."

The scientist picked up her food and headed toward the exit. Warren wasn't about to let her slip by, and he blocked the doorway. "I'm not your messenger, Hercjell. You have something to say, tell her yourself or send one of your lackeys."

She looked up with an all-too-pleased smirk. "No, that is not the best approach with the intriguing Gatebi Eudara. Oddly, she is hesitant to come to me directly."

"Can't understand why…"

"But if you encourage her, I will share what I learned…for a small reimbursement of the time I took from my work to do so."

Red flags waved vigorously. "And the small reimbursement would be?"

Hercjell didn't answer immediately, but instead looked at Warren from head to toe before returning her eyes to his. All through the visual exam, the desire to do her physical harm was almost more than he could hold in check.

"A pity I didn't have you longer in my labs. Such power and potential contained within you, Archangel…technology that could unlock doors we don't even know exist. Given enough time, I would have triggered the bionites and learned their secrets. A true pity," she said placing a hand on his chest.

He grabbed her wrist and yanked the offending hand off. "What is the price!" he snarled.

"A day with her in my lab."

"No!" He couldn't believe the audacity.

"One day to avoid a lifetime of wondering."

"No. Even if she agreed, I wouldn't allow it."

"My scans will be non-invasive."

"No."

"The choice is hers, not yours. You overstep your bounds."

'God, she's arrogant!' he fumed, but as much as he hated to admit, Hercjell had a valid point. He had no right making the decision for Gatebi. But what was Gatebi trying to find out?

"What's her question?"

A tilt of the cinnamon-topped head told him no direct answer would be forthcoming.

"If she wants you to know, she will tell you."

Warren let out an exasperated sigh before realizing what he was doing. "I don't trust you."

A chuckle escaped the researcher, and that time she looked truly amused. "Under normal circumstance, Archangel, you would be right not to. However, my superior's orders are quite…persuasive – no harm is to come to any your group."

Warren nodded. Phai had guaranteed that point. "Damn right. Hands off."

"But if Gatebi comes to me…" she trailed off. "Take the message, Archangel. If it comes from you, she may feel more inclined to accept my offer."

He narrowed eyes at the rogue scientist. "What exactly are you looking for?"

Hercjell literally pushed her way around Warren into the corridor. "An open door, Archangel." Then she walked briskly down the hall, leaving Warren with a new mystery.

###

Ettwanae stood in the hangar staring at Bae. The Eshaar'ne had made a puzzling offer while Volu and Flint decided to get some fresh air just outside the fortress. Actually, it was Flint who, in typical overly dramatic form, declared the ceilings and walls were closing in and if he didn't get outside, he'd go berserk and charbroil some Etagllot. Ettwanae rolled her eyes, a behavior she'd learned from the teen, and told Flint she wouldn't stop him from frying the loathed scientists. Security relented and opened the door to the cloaked garden area adjoining the facility. Protective Volu refused to let him go out alone.

Bae's hatch stood open, but Ettwanae didn't wish to board. Seeing the Etagllot augmentations frightened her in a way that Ettwanae didn't quite understand. Even the idea of them seemed blasphemous. It also tasted of disloyalty as Volu had refused to mend fences with Bae despite all they'd learned.

"I'd rather hear those things from my mother."

"That is understandable, Ettwanae. However, we do not know that your mother will survive the procedure. Even if she lives, there may be side affects."

Ettwanae was instantly worried. Phai made no mention of side affects. "What do you mean?"

"As with Volu."

She drew wings close and caught her breath. Volu's attempted suicide resulted in significant memory lost. "That can happen with Eshaaru, too?"

"It can."

The possibility made her blood run cold. Volu had forgotten her first Other and their life together. Was there a chance that T'Qilla would not remember her? Or her soulbound? Or any of their life together? Nausea rose.

"Bae, what are the chances?"

"I cannot say. My medical files only note that memory loss is possible. Little is annotated about the procedure Phai plans. I have no record of it being performed since before the last Dark Coming."

Anger welled up. "Why didn't she warn me?"

"Only Phai knows her reasoning. Logic tells me that side affects are irrelevant since the choice is make the attempt or T'Qilla dies. Phai may wish to spare you additional worry."

"But you don't agree with her decision."

"I do not. I believe it would be a horrible shock to have saved T'Qilla but lose your mother. I wish for you to accept that possibility now and know that you and she have another source for lost history. I stand ready to provide as much information as I am able should T'Qilla's memories be gone."

"Where is Mother's amulet?" Ettwanae kicked herself for not having thought to ask about it earlier.

"I do not know. When captured, she was wearing it. Since it is not with her in the stasis pod, I assume it is in Shozen possession."

Ettwanae huffed and crossed her arms. "I will demand Phai give it to me. That is another source of information."

"It would be."

Another question came to Ettwanae. "Bae, do you know who Volu's first Other was?"

Bae was quiet for too long.

"Volu does not remember?"

"No."

"And your family node?"

Ettwanae frowned. "It records only that Volu left to find a mate."

She could have sworn the Eshaar'ne shifted in the bay.

"Ettwanae, perhaps you and Volu should revisit the topic."

Eyebrows shot up. "Why? She doesn't remember anything about her past before me."

"Then the conversation will be short."

Eagle-sharp eyes narrowed as she glared at Bae's smooth, featureless exterior. "You know something."

"Whether I do or do not is irrelevant as what is between Others is private."

It was useless arguing with Bae if she was anything like Volu. "I will talk with her, but I don't see the point. And if you know something about Volu's past, you will tell us," she threatened with a snap of wings.

"If you and Volu come to me together, I will answer your questions."

"Good."

Ettwanae strode with purpose and worry from the hangar to the facility kitchen. Molt-increased appetite had reached a pinnacle. Questions would have to wait. But as soon as hunger was sated, she and Volu would be having a heart-to-heart.

###

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Ettwanae was both shocked and hurt. Secrets between her and Volu was not how it was supposed to be with Others.

"Because there was already so much new information. We all required time to digest. I did not wish to burden you with more. The memory I regained is…difficult."

Ettwanae sat on her bed, wings hanging low. She was being inconsiderate and thinking only of herself. In contrast, Volu was in emotional pain, and still thought only of her.

"My Volu, things are quieter now. We can talk." She filled her voice with love.

"Yes, my Poda."

"You remember your first Other and the attack?"

The air grew heavy.

"My Other was P'Tiaera – I remember her name and a have a few snatches of memory about her, but more than that remains lost."

Ettwanae was stunned. Why wasn't that mentioned in her family memory nodes? "My mother's sister was your Other?!"

"Yes. However, when I was attacked, she is not in that memory – only her soulbound. I believe his name was P'Rais or something very similar. I have the sense that P'Tiaera had been gone for some time by then."

"The Shozen had her."

"Given what Phai told us, yes."

"The Dark Ones killed P'Tiaera's soulbound?"

"I remember the black ships. They were identical to the ones that ambushed us at Ayni." Volu shuddered beneath Ettwanae. "While I do not remember the circumstances of how I lost P'Tiaera, I now understand why I would have chosen ru'zha. To have failed my Other and then her soulbound…" Another tremor ran through the room.

Ettwanae's heart ached with empathic pain. "My poor, Volu." Ettwanae wished she could take Volu in her arms to comfort her. "The Dark Ones are evil and powerful. And the Shozen… they are powerful, too. It was not your fault."

Sudden stiffness of air snatched Ettwanae's breath.

"You do not know that. I do not know that. It is possible I lost them because of my own actions or inactions. It is possible my misjudgments caused their deaths." Volu's words were steeped in self-condemnation. "I cannot remember!"

Ettwanae believed instantly that regaining partial memory might be worse than no memory. Her beloved Eshaar'ne was heading down a dangerous road of guilt. Gathering herself, Ettwanae felt she needed to be firm.

"Listen to me, Volu. Do not judge yourself without knowing the full story. Isn't that what you'd say to me?" No response. "Your kind was designed to be logical, even when facing emotionally difficult situations. Use that ability to see it's illogical to take on guilt when you have no evidence that you should."

When only silence filled the room, Ettwanae continued. "The Volu I know would do anything to protect those within her. You have proven your loyalty and bravery over and over again. Why would it have been any different with your first Other? The evidence I've seen says it was because you loved so much and tried so hard to protect that you chose ru'zha. The pain of loss was too great, not the pain of guilt."

"I am alive. They are dead. Nothing changes that fact. I failed in my duty." Shame oozed from every syllable.

Ettwanae frowned deeply. How could she convince the Eshaar'ne that the facts did not translate into reason for guilt? 'Ozshi'wanae, give me wisdom!' She contemplated quietly, attempting to pinpoint exactly her Other's reasoning. Then she hit upon something that perhaps the Eshaar'ne's innate logic over emotion 'programming' may accept.

"Volu, I understand feeling guilty, but help me understand to the reasons. Do you recall harming P'Tiaera or her mate?"

"I do not."

"Would you do such a thing?"

"No sane Eshaar'ne would harm their Other." Volu seemed insulted at the thought.

"Then based on that moral code, can we assume you would never harm P'Tiaera or P'Rais?"

"It would be a reasonable assumption."

"And we know that the Shozen and later the Dark Ones are responsible for what happened to them."

"Correct."

"And from the evidence – your external scars – and your own memory fragments, you came very close to losing your life attempting to save P'Rais. You were so wounded in that attempt you nearly died. And I know from Phai that the Shozen abducted P'Tiaera while she was away from you. Am I right on all that?"

"Yes."

"Then how is your failure to protect so different from mine? I failed to protect my Baumpa. I should have been there…should have be able to use Source to heal him…should have done so many things I did not. I'm strong, Volu. Perhaps strong enough to have killed the people who left him for dead. Instead, I ran. At least you fought – you tried. I did nothing. Why are you guilty and I am not?"

The Eshaar'ne actually jerked; the bed jolting slightly. Ettwanae knew she'd hit upon an argument with possibilities.

"You were not responsible for his safety."

"Does that make my actions less inadequate?" she countered. "You were responsible for doing all you could to protect out of duty. I was responsible to protect Baumpa out of love and gratitude. We both were unable to do so, regardless of the reasons. Not that we didn't try or would have tried, but circumstance prevented us from succeeding. There is no guilt in that, Volu. We did the best that circumstance allowed."

The bedroom was quiet for a long time. She had Volu pinned in a corner – if the Eshaar'ne held to guilt, then by default, she would be declaring Ettwanae guilty. Yet no real victory was at hand. Volu could just as easily go along with the logic while quietly retaining her self-condemnation. Only time would truly reveal success or failure.

Finally, Volu's soft voice broke the stillness.

"Thank you, my Other, for attempting to ease my conscious. I will consider your counsel. I pray to Ozshi'wanae that you do not feel guilt over Bhenra's death for that would be a grave tragedy. You do not, do you, my Poda?"

Ettwanae wondered. Did she? "Not guilt, but regret, I think."

"Regret…that is appropriate. Perhaps that is best for me, as well. I regret I was unable to save my Others, but the guilt is the Shozen's and the Eilu's. To take their culpability as ours gives them a victory over us that is unearned."

Ettwanae sighed in heartfelt relief. Volu sounded sincere. "My beautiful and wonderful Volu – I repeat your words. I pray to Ozshi'wanae that you have abandoned guilt of those long-ago deaths – it would only add needlessly to those tragedies."

"I believe I can, Poda. I believe I will."

As she left Volu to find Warren, questions about the lack of information concerning P'Tiaera in her amulet's nodes would have to wait, Ettwanae decided. If she succeeded in saving her mother, perhaps through T'Qilla she could get to the bottom of what happened between siblings all those years ago.

###

Next time, Ettwanae's molt-induced irritability really takes flight, Gatebi makes a decision, and heat ignites in Ekkamm's sky.