Chapter 8

"That was great doc" said Olivia leaning back in her chair and yawning.

"Yeah we know who to come to now instead of ordering takeaway" said Elliot smiling.

Olivia looked at Elliot and smiled thinking how nice it was to see him so relaxed.

"Well boys" she said standing up "I'm off to bed it's been a long 48 hours "

"Sleep well Olivia" haung said as she left the room.

"Yeah night Liv" said Elliot disappointed she had gone to bed so early. He got up and started to collect the dishes together off the table and take them over to the sink. Haung came and stood not far from him leaning against the bench watching him.

"How long has it been since you and Kathy Split up?"

"About 4 month" he didn't really want to talk but knew he had to, it was the reason they were here. "But really we didn't really get back together properly after the last split"

"And why was that".

Elliot stopped washing the dished and turned to face Haung leaning against the sink.

"We never got back together for us, we got back together cause I got her pregnant. The day she came to the station to ask if I had decided whether to come home or not, I was goin to tell her no. As much as I still loved her, I wasn't in love with her, but before I could tell her she told me she was pregnant. I knew then I didn't have a choice"

"You could have said no and still been part of your child's life"

"I couldn't, it goes against everything I believe. I couldn't leave her to do it alone this time the same as I couldn't when I was 18 and she fell pregnant with Maureen."

"It must have been a strain on you both from the start knowing you didn't really want to be with her?"

"It was tough at first but we tried to work through it, we went on dates, we talked, and I tried to be home at a reasonable time."

"So what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"What made you both realise it was wrong?"

"After Eli was born we started to drift apart again, I started to drift apart from her. I used to find excuses to stay away from her. I started to fall asleep downstairs instead of going to bed.. She asked me if I was seeing anyone else. I wasn't but I could see why she thought I was. I felt like a right prick so I tried to be a good husband…then one night in bed, we were…..having sex and I called out someone else's name"

Elliot looked down at the floor remembering the hurt on Kathy's face when it had happened he hadn't even realised what he had done. Haung was going to ask whose name he had called out but decided against it, deep down he knew who it was.

"You could say we split up then, I slept downstairs and we lived separate lives, we stayed in the same house for the sake of the kids."

"So how come you made it official 4 months ago?"

"Kathy wanted to move on, so we decided it would be best. The kids knew we weren't together I mean there is only Lizzie, Dickie and Eli at home now anyway. I still seen the kids whenever I was off and still stopped by for supper when I wasn't at work. We all actually got on better that way there was no stress".

"So what happened"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you said "I still seen the kids" no I see the kids. Why has Kathy stopped you seeing the kids?"

Fuck Elliot thought how does he do that. Hoping he wasn't going to have to explain. He took a deep breath.

"I went over to the house for supper 3 days after the shooting, I hadn't told them what had happened. I had been off work and had spent a few hours in a bar so I had, had a few drinks to relax before I got there. Kathy noticed straight away I had been drinking but said nothing, just gave me a disapproving look. We sat down and had supper and everything was fine, we started to clear up and the kids all went into the lounge to chat and play on the Xbox. I remember hearing Dickie and Lizzie playing a game one of those Shoot up ones. I stopped cleaning and started to watch it…and that's all I remember"

Haung noticed Elliot starting to shake as he remembered that night.

"Elliot, what did you do?"

"I…..I…. heard screaming and crying, Kathy was screaming at me standing in front of me. I looked around the room. Dickie and Lizzie were holding each other on the couch, Katherine had hold of Eli who was crying and Maureen was stood in the door way. I looked round the room and seen the TV smashed up with a stool from the kitchen lying next to it. I looked at my hands my knuckles covered in blood and the plaster board on the wall had holes were I had punched it" Tears fell from Elliot's eyes as he thought of what he had done.

"Kathy was screaming at me to get out calling me a fucking physco. I tried to say sorry but she wouldn't listen, I looked at the kids and seen the fear in their eyes, they were scared of me, my own kids. I just grabbed my coat and left. Maureen followed me out and told me what had happened, apparently I just lost it when Dickie wouldn't turn the game off, I asked her what was on the screen and she said he had just shot a load of people in the bank when I just flipped. I told Maureen to tell them all I was sorry and just left"

He dropped his head to the floor as the tears streamed down his face.

"MY kids fucking hate me and are scared of" he sobbed.

Haung walked towards Elliot resting his hands on his shoulders.

"Elliot your kids don't hate you they are confused. They just seen you lose control and smash up their house for what they thought was no reason, they didn't know about the shooting"

"So what that excuses me for scaring the shit out them!" he said his voice getting louder. "If I had told them they would have hugged me and said its fine daddy we love you still even though you killed a kid our age!" Elliot picked up a plate and threw it across the room. "MY KIDS FUCKING HATE ME AND I CANT TELL THEM IM SORRY CAUSE THAT BITCH WONT LET ME SEE THEM!"

"Elliot you need to calm down" Haung said reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me!" he said pushing Haung away, causing Haung to stumble back and fall to the fall. Elliot started to pace back and forwards in the kitchen mumbling over and over to himself

"If she just let me talk to them, if she would just listen, just cause she has a new fucking boyfriend" he kicked the chair as he walked past it " and she accused me of cheating, the bitch"

Olivia had coming running out her room when she heard the plate smash and Elliot shouting. She seen Haung try to calm him and get pushed away. She walked over to Elliot and stood in front of him taking hold of his arms.

"Move Liv" he growled at her.

"No" she said calmly "Not till you calm down". He tried to pull away from her but she wouldn't let go.

"Let me fucking go"

"El look at me" he lifted his eyes to hers "I'm not going anywhere, but I need you to calm down and breath"

Elliot looked at he, drawn into her eyes and her voice, his breathing starting to calm down.

"That's it" she said wiping the tears that fell from his face. His body shivered at her touch, he never lost eye contact with her. How did she do that how did she know how to calm him she was the only one who ever could. Olivia looked over at Haung and smiled "He's okay" she said.

Haung nodded amazed at the effect she had on Elliot, he always knew the bond they had was special but seeing it like this he realise just how much. He also realised that if Olivia didn't have the same love for Elliot as he had for her, then all the talking and therapy wouldn't save him.

"Why don't you go get some El, it's been a long day" she told him.

He nodded to her "Yeah, okay I'm sorry Liv"

Olivia just nodded.

"Thanks Doc" he said looking at Haung "Sorry about pushing you I just…you know" he said shrugging his shoulders.

"It's fine Elliot we will talk again tomorrow"

"Yeah I can't wait" he said walking to his room.

After she heard his door shut Olivia turned to Haung "Well that was a good first night" she laughed.

"Olivia can we talk for a bit"

Olivia cocked her head to one side "Err sure" she said sitting down at the table.

"Olivia how do you feel about Elliot?"

"He is my partner I care for him"

"No Olivia away from work how do you feel?"

"We are best friends" she looked away from him not wanting him to look at her eyes in case she gave her real feelings away.

"Is that all you are friends?"

"Yeah Doc of course it. Elliot's married with kids, are you really asking if we are having an affair"

"No I never mentioned an affair I asked how you felt about him?"

"I told you I care for him" she didn't like where this going.

"What if he wasn't married and didn't have kids?"

"We would still be partners"

"Being partners doesn't stop you falling in love, there is nothing in the rule book that says you can't be in love".

"There's not?"

"Nope" Haung looked at Olivia as she took in what he was saying.

"It makes no difference anyway" she said standing "He is married, he has 5 kids and he has never looked at me as anything but a friend and partner. So rules or no rules it doesn't make a fucking difference" she said walking back to her room before haung could see the tears fall.

Haung drooped back into his seat and sighed as he smiled to say these two could read each other's thoughts on the job they were really shit at realising they both felt the same way. Why don't people just talk to each other life would be a whole lot simpler, he thought as he headed off to bed, to get ready to face another day.

Don't worry I'm working my way up to the hot tub scene, and log fire im also thinking maybe the lake, so many ideas lol.