Three chapters in one day im on fire lol

Chapter 11

Elliot decided on another small workout when Olivia went into town. He kept going over everything in his head that had happened especially the kiss. He had dreamt about kissing her for years, thinking it would never happen …and now it had. Shit he had kissed Liv and she kissed him back. He stopped doing sit ups and rested his elbows on his knees. What the hell had they done, they couldn't have a relationship, it could ruin everything that they have in their partnership.

"Stabler you FUCKING IDIOT !" He said out loud.

"Elliot, what's wrong?" said Haungs voice from behind him.

"I need to end this with Liv before it goes too far"

"Why has something happened?"

"No everything's great, we kissed and….."

"So what's the problem, why do you need to end it"

"Were partners, we can't be anymore. Us at work on a case that is what we are good at. If we get together how I am supposed to do my job, what happens if it doesn't work out. No we are best just staying friends. I will tell her when she gets back, Christ what were we thinking?"

Elliot had stood up and was pacing pack and forwards talking as he went.

"I mean we have always said the job comes first we both agreed to that, what the hell was she thinking admitting she loved me, why would she say that and fuck up everything we have." Elliot started breathing hard.

"Elliot I need you to calm down, look at me" Haung said gripping hold of his arms to stop him. "I want you to take deep breaths holding it in to try and calm your breathing" Elliot nodded following his advice.

"Elliot your scared" he said looking directly in his face. "It's natural to be scared at the beginning…."

"No Doc, you don't get it, Liv deserves better than me, I mean look at me. I'm in the middle of a divorce, I have 5 kids that hate me, I'm that fucked up in the head that I tried to kill myself and couldn't even do that, if I can't sort my head out I will probably lose my job. It won't take her long to realise I'm no good for her as a Boyfriend. I end it now and I have a chance of keeping her as a friend and partner."

"Elliot your wrong. Please listen…."

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO TALK" He shouted "I need you to tell Liv to go back to New York, tell her I'm sorry and I will talk to her once I sort myself out. I can't do this Doc, I can't deal with Liv on top of everything, please just tell her to go. I know she will be mad and hate me, but she is only going to hate me sooner or later when I fuck up." He sobbed tears running down his face as he walked away.

Haung dropped his head to the ground "Fuck" he said to himself. It hurt to see Elliot breakdown like that in front of him, he was never a one to show too much emotion. Huang turned and followed Elliot back to the lodge. It didn't matter how much Elliot begged him to send Olivia away he wasn't going to do it. Whether Elliot knew it or not he needed her here with him because everything that had happened in the last few months to fuck up his life all had one thing in common, Olivia and the love he felt for her.

"Elliot can I come in" he asked knocking on Elliot's door and trying the handle, it was locked "at least answer me so I know you're ok"

"I'm fine just leave me alone"

Haung returned to the kitchen area and sat at the table to wait for Olivia to return from town.

"Hi, where's Elliot at?" she asked as she put 4 huge bags down on the counter.

"He is in his room, Olivia can we talk please"

"Err sure" she said sitting opposite him. "What's happened" she asked sensing it wasn't good.

"Elliot lost it a while ago, he's ok but he's in his room and won't come out"

"What happened he was fine when I left?"

"He started going over and over in his head what happened between the two of you and convinced himself it wasn't going to work. Because of what's happened lately he thinks he is no good for you and he is only going to hurt you if you have a relationship. He asked me to ask you to leave, to go back to New York"

Olivia sat shaking her head "No…He can't do this" she said "he can't say this isn't going to work before it even started, the selfish son of a bitch. He isn't the only one involved here I'm scared of what might happen but I know what I'm getting into, I know him and if he thinks I'm just gonna walk away and act as though nothing happened then he's wrong"

She got up from the table and stormed down the corridor towards his room "DO YOU HEAR ME STABLER YOU WONG " she shouted banging on the door "IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE I RAN ONCE BEFORE AND NEARLY LOST YOU TO DANI, YOU CANT FORCE ME TO LEAVE. I KNOW HOW FUCKED UP YOU ARE IVE KNOWN FOR 12 YEARS BUT I STILL FELL IN LOVE WITH. SO DON'T YOU DO THIS TO US DON'T YOU GIVE UP BEFORE ITS EVEN STARTED YOU SELFISH PRICK" She kicked the door once more before storming into her room slamming the door behind her. She fell onto her bed and curled up as small as she could and cried herself to sleep.

Elliot sat on the floor against the wall listening to her scream at him and kick and hit the door. He felt like he couldn't breathe his chest was tight as he cried. He heard her storm away and slam her room door making him jump. He stayed in that position for the rest of the day till the sun went down.

Olivia woke up after a few hours and came out her room, the lodge was quiet. She picked up a not on the table it read "I'm in my room if you need to talk, George" she guessed the note was for both her and Elliot.

She sat at the table and picked up the pen and note pad and began writing. When she finished she pushed the note under Elliot's door and knocked, before walking back to the kitchen and picking up the shopping she brought in earlier and headed out the door.

Elliot heard the knock and looked at the door seeing the piece of paper that had been shoved under, he crawled over and picked up the not before sliding back against the wall to read it.

Hey you

I know your scared and angry at the moment but I cant just give up on us and walk away. I gave up and walked away 4 years ago instead of staying and fighting and because of that I nearly lost you to Dani. I then lost you back to Kathy because I couldn't just tell you how I felt. I cant lose you again my heart cant be broken over and over. I know you love me I seen it in your eyes, and I have never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. Meet me down by the jetty by 10pm,so we can talk, if after we talk you still feel the same then I will leave first thing in the morning. If you don't meet me to talk then I will get in the car and leave tonight and drive back to the city, and we will forget anything ever happened. I will put in a transfer to another unit straight away. As much as it would break my heart I will do this for you because it's what you want.

I love you El and I always will no matter what you decide

Liv

Xxx

Elliot read the note another 3 times then looked at his watch it was 9.55pm. He dropped his head between his legs and cried.

Olivia sat on the blanket the only light coming from the four candles she had lit around the Jetty and looked at her watch 9.57pm. She fought back the tears forming in her eyes as she prayed he would turn up, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him so soon after admitting their feelings to each other. She understood he was scared, she was, but they could handle anything that came their way if they were together. She looked back down at her watch 10.02pm. She let the tears fall that she had been holding back, as she picked up the car keys from the blanket beside her.

"Fuck you Stabler" she cried as she turned and headed for the car, her heart broken yet again.

I'm sorry please don't hate me I cant have it run to smoothly now can I .