A/N: Ugh, I'm sorry, once again, for the long time between posts. Midterms and school in general has kept me pretty busy. On the plus side I had a random blast of inspiration and have begun working on a chapter story! I plan (fingers crossed) to have the first chapter up within a week! This drabble is a little bit of brotherly fluff with a darker twinge to it. I hope you enjoy. As always you guys are my motivation and I love nothing more than to hear from you guys! Let me know what you think!
-OMH :)
What do you do when you can't sleep? What do you do when every action, every deed, every word you've ever uttered keeps you up at night? The pain burns deep within my chest, making me feel as if I had swallowed a hot coal that is now slowly burning through my entire body. Alone, I crouch in my room, drenched in sweat, trembling like a child futilely trying to expel these terrifying images from my brain. Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, broken, before my eyes begging for my help, pleading that I save them. But I can't. I can't because I'm not good enough. I can't protect them. Nausea overtakes me and I push myself up and drag myself to the bathroom; I desperately need water. At the sink, my ghastly reflection stops me; virtually all color has drained from my skin, bags hang, heavy, under my bloodshot eyes. Repressing a shudder, I fill a cup with water, gulping it down, I feel the individual droplets trace trails of fire down my throat. Utter exhaustion threatens to overtake me and I groan, leaning more heavily on the basin, and stick my head down under the running water.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Raph?"
Startled, I jump away from the sink. "Yeah?"
Don looked at me knowingly, "You having trouble sleeping?"
It wasn't really a question. He knew. Donny always knew. "Nah, not really." I managed a small half-smile half-grimace.
He stared intensely at me as if he could read every inch of my face, "I can give you something to help you sleep. It'll help with nightmares too."
"I'm straight bro, really. I'm ok." I shake my head
Don's eyes narrow, "Alright… Goodnight Raph." I listen to his retreating footfalls and soon hear the door to his room close softly.
Sweaty and still slightly nauseous, I decide to shower. I relax, letting the cool wash away my fears, dreams, and thoughts. It wipes away all; I let the water wash away all of me. Hours later I clamber slowly out of the tub and back toward my room. Climbing into my hammock, I turn to glance at the clock but instead a strip of paper near it catches my eye.
Just in case you change your mind.
Next to it were two white pills.