On the day she was ordered to appear before the Commander at the end of her suspension, Alicia dressed sharply in her uniform and this time added her beret and drove to the Command Center, parking in front. Mounting the steps, she, was greeted by the officers. Ignoring them, like before, once again she marched to stand in front of the Commander's desk and stood at rest, feet slightly apart, hands clasped behind her back.
Taylor signed off on the plexpad he was looking at and then raised his eyes to her. Standing, he rounded the desk, "Lieutenant, are you fit to report for duty?"
"No Sir. I've not been checked out by a physician, but the dizzy spells have been gone for days now."
"I can't put you back on duty unless it's an emergency."
"I wish to tender my resignation, Sir." Wash heard the withdrawn breaths from her fellow officers.
"We've gone over this, Lieutenant. Until your certified fit for duty, I can't take it," he was aware the room going deadly silent, as nobody wanted to miss a word.
"Now or tomorrow won't change my mind." They talked about everything except her wanting to quit in their evenings together. He didn't want to ruin the ambiance they'd created by bringing up her failure in his eyes.
"You're too good of a soldier to let go, request denied….but," he held his hand up, "I'll put you in a position where you don't have to answer directly to me as your superior officer, but everyone in the colony is subject to me, including you."
Alicia held her ground, this time without a racing pulse, but she still didn't believe she did anything to warrant his reaction, "I don't want to be directly under you again after my demotion. A role as a civilian will be fine." She was aware the officers were hearing them air their problems in the open for the first time. Nobody ever knew there were difficulties in the command team until Taylor suspended her.
Nathaniel clamped his lips together then released his breath, "What would you do as a civilian?"
"Contract work, but not under your command. I would retain my prior rank and you turn the soldiers over to me," she had been kicking around what she'd like to do if she wasn't in uniform and came to the conclusion, she was best in the service, just didn't want to be ordered around anymore and especially by him.
He ambled back to his chair and sat, legs spayed apart and fingers linked behind his head as he stared at the enormous skull while the room waited, breathlessly and without talking. Shannon hadn't had a chance to talk to her as she'd been avoiding everyone, and was bluntly told by Taylor not to until her suspension was over. Now he waited with the rest to see how this would end.
"No, I stay in charge of our army. I have experience over you and we have a hostile force in our land that we still have to deal with. I'll redo your job description to cover civilian assistance as you've been doing without pay or credit. You keep your military rank and pay so no contract is needed, but I'll give you civilian freedom to come and go and conduct your new duties as you see fit. You'll still be in charge of the colony when I'm OTG, and," he looked her in the eye, "as a civilian you don't have to answer to me on your conduct. You'll still be completely military also, but without enforcement by me. I'll make a new title for you."
"I want my full rank restored or I'm refusing your offer," she could almost hear the mental gasp from her officers at her audacity.
"When I work up your job description, I'll address it then."
"We will write the job description for me together," she issued her own order and the room did let out a sharp hiss, ignored by both commanders, staring at each other.
"Fair enough, but not until you're cleared by Dr. Shannon, dismissed, Lieutenant," he didn't smile, but inwardly felt like he won a huge battle, she was still going to help him and not walk away into the civilian sector like he was afraid he pushed her into. He watched her turn and march out like the perfect soldier. Only then did he address the officers in the room, "Don't think any of you would get off so lightly. She's been with me for twenty years and has earned her position and rank. There will be more changes as we face a future without support, but for now, the military is the stabilizing force and comfort to the civilians, and I want all of you to go the extra mile in your lives and jobs. I don't want any issues brought to my attention in your behavior or personal lives, dismissed," he and Jim watched the room empty out.
"I'm not sure I followed your conversation. Did you just give her a civilian post of high decree?" Jim knew he was listed as third in command of the colony on the roster of leaders behind Wash, and wondered if that would change.
"You do certain aspects of your job as a civilian and it seems to work and the colony has accepted you as third officer over military personnel, and my soldiers don't seem to have a problem with you. Nothing changes; Wash will still be second to me in the military and her own person as a civilian."
"And still second on the roster?"
"Of course, I like being around her more than you; she's a hell of a lot better to look at."
"Speaking of which….I was patrolling Friday night and Wash was having a party and your vehicle was prominently parked outside."
Nathaniel laughed, "Just a gathering of old friends and their dates."
"Did you have a date?" Jim was curious when he drove by and saw several shadows behind the closed blinds in the brightly lit interior.
"I sure did," Nathaniel puffed up, "Wash was my date."
"Let me get this straight, she lets you date her, but wants to quit and doesn't want you to boss her any longer?" Jim knew he'd never figure their complex relationship out.
Nathaniel was still smiling at his weekend, "Your astuteness is absolutely correct, now go to work."
Jim left and headed directly to the clinic when he saw Wash's rover still parked below. She was getting a checkup from his wife when he joined them.
Elizabeth looked to her husband, "I'm with a patient; you can wait outside."
He departed outside to wait, but she was going to talk to him. He let her recover, but needed to make sure she wasn't upset for taking a bullet for his family. She seemed friendly enough right up until Taylor benched her.
Elizabeth got back to questioning Alicia, "You said you remember more."
"I remember enough," Alicia was still lying down and the bioscreen was hovering over her showing a much improved head.
"Do you remember standing before Lucas?"
She didn't and wouldn't pass that test, "No, my memories are further back."
"Tell me the last thing you do remember," Elizabeth turned the bed off, "sit up."
Alicia swung her legs over the edge while the doctor moved in close and shined a light in her eyes. When she backed off Alicia responded, "Shannon on crutches."
"Anything in particular?"
"He and Josh were in a food line," she was walking home from Boylan's and remembered seeing him on crutches in the light of day.
"Do you remember drinking with Phoenix soldiers?"
Alicia shook her head, "I'm sure I'd want to block that out."
"I'll give my report to the Commander and let him decide if to reinstate you. Physically you're fine. Your memories are returning and I don't think a few missing moments should preclude you from your job. That's my official opinion."
Alicia stood up, "Thank you, Doctor."
Elizabeth tried one more memory, "Do you remember meeting with my family amidst the storage containers?"
Alicia thought and shook her head, "Sorry."
"Don't be, you are free to go," she knew her husband was most likely waiting.
She walked out of the Infirmary and directly into Shannon, who was standing with his arms crossed right in front of the door. Stopping, she looked into his sober face.
"Good to see you walking without your cane. Are you avoiding me?" he bluntly got to the point.
"I'm avoiding everyone or haven't you noticed," she was sarcastic and pushed by him.
He fell in step with her, "But you had a party on Friday?"
"Am I being grilled, Shannon?" she stopped by her driver's door.
"It's my job to determine if you're a threat to the colony," he pushed aggressively to get any reaction to gage her mental state.
Alicia didn't see that one coming, "And…." she paused, looking for the right phrase, "what have I done to make you think I may be a danger to the colony?"
"According to Taylor, you've been moody and despondent."
"So everyone who's been suspended from their duties for a minor violation is an eminent threat that you personally have to deal with. Next time someone gets chewed out, I'll be sure and have you do a background check on them to make sure they don't burn the colony down."
"Look, Wash, I'm sorry, I was trying to gage your temperament. You're fine and I made that up about Taylor, he didn't say anything about you. I think you're fit to return to duty, but you really want to quit?"
"What I want or don't want to do is none of your concern."
"I'm doing your job; I think it is my concern. If you quit, I'll probably be in charge of your military. We'll be working together on projects in the future, Wash. I want us to get back to our previous friendship. You're keeping me at a distance. Is it because you were shot protecting my family?"
"I can't hold a grudge against something I don't remember."
"You're keeping me and my family at a distance, why?" he was getting frustrated.
Wash knew he wasn't going away unless she gave him an answer, "After I got shot and demoted, I have lost trust in everything. It's going to take a long time for me to want to be around people or open up. It's not personal, Shannon."
"I…and my family feel we owe something to you for what you did. Is there anything we or I can possibly do?" she saw the desperation in his look wanting to help her and softened a little. As a gentleman, he automatically opened her vehicle door.
"You can't make me trust again," she got in and drove off leaving him looking after her departing vehicle.
He went looking for his wife, needing to talk to someone, "I think I got out of Wash what she's going through. Taylor left her completely not trusting anyone, including us."
"There must be more to their history than we know."
"I'm going to find out," with a quick kiss he left to do just that and he knew where to start, Casey Durwin.
"How'd the party go, Casey?" Jim ambled up as if he had nothing better to be doing.
"Taylor give you the day off?" Casey knew he was designated second in Wash's absence.
"I'm in between assignments," he was supposed to be overseeing the repairs. He stopped talking and waited for Casey to answer.
Casey gave his trademark grin, "How do you know I was at any party?"
"Who else would Wash invite to a gathering, except you who were with her and Taylor in the future."
"You got me, Sheriff. What do you want to know?"
"Why Wash distrusts everyone," Jim didn't feel like playing Casey's game of guessing.
"Didn't know she did. Next time I see her, I'll ask if I'm on her list of men to distrust. Maybe Boylan knows more. You know, I believe he was at her party," Casey never lost his Cheshire grin.
Knowing Casey was done divulging, Jim moved on. He tracked Chet Bickers down next. Bickers was retired and ran a metal working shop and smelter business for forging metoric ore into most of the parts needed for any repair.
Bickers talked at he worked, "Wash and I go way back. I was her first Sergeant when she joined Taylor's unit. She was a perfectionist and Taylor liked that. She rose fast in the ranks and was second Lieutenant when we came here. We just got the fence up for safety when Boylan started making hooch. He got his first batch out and that night while she was on duty, she drank a glass with Taylor watching. He demoted her and kicked her OTG for a couple years."
"Wash was out there for two years?" Jim was shocked. "What'd he do, kick her out of the colony?"
"We weren't a colony then, just soldiers. It was before the second pilgrimage and we needed outposts, so Wash built them. Taylor liked her work and forgot to bring her home. She was never the same after that."
"She wasn't left alone was she?" Jim was starting to not like Taylor again.
"No, she always had a building crew with her. They got to come home, but she never got invited back. When she finally returned home, she was different and Tate and Taylor worked a long time with her just to make her smile again. Like I said, the Wash you know isn't the younger version. She's matured and lost her youthful trust."
"And you see her acting the he way she was then?" Jim had to find a way to help what he considered his good friend.
"She may never return this time."
Nathaniel gave up pretending to work and on the guise of inspecting the damages wandered off. He told Guzman he was in charge of the Command Center until Shannon returned. He walked along the fence only half-paying attention to the repairs until he reached the area the bombs hadn't dropped and stopped pretending and let his mind wander to the weekend.
He showed up with a plexpad full of beds and told her she might put it out of sight and they'd look at them later, he didn't want anyone to get the wrong ideas.
Everyone who showed up was surprised to see him and those not married had dates. Boylan invited Shelly, one of the teachers for older students, a surprise to all. Casey had a blond who helped him around his home and Nathaniel didn't want to know what else. Wash was gracious and thanked her old friends for the housewarming gifts and promised Boylan to find a special person to drink his best bottle with. 'Bet he didn't think it'd be me,' Nathaniel let a smile slip as he wandered the fence.
After everyone left, he told her to bring his gift out. Returning from her bedroom with his plexpad, he turned it on and pulled her down next to him on the couch, "Pick the one you like best and I'll do my best to make it for you." She was amazed at the number of bed frames he found. They looked at dozens and she couldn't decide.
"Nathaniel, this will take days and I'll change my mind a dozen times."
"You can take as long as you like, but I'd like us to gather the materials and build it together, a project for just the two of us," he linked his fingers with hers, "I have hopes someday of sharing it with you," he brought her hand to his lips.
"I think we're a ways from jumping in the sack."
"I have this funny feeling in my stomach," he grinned at her.
"I doubt that's where it's at. We haven't done your courtship yet. You haven't escorted me someplace I want to go or even made it known you are dating me."
"I'm going to change that soon. What do you want to do this weekend?" he wanted to make up for his untimely chastisement and get her back to her normal self as soon as possible.
"Sleep late in the morning then I'd like to soak in my bath…"
"I'm beginning to think this courting phase is stupid. Who thought of it anyway," he leaned over and started a passionate kissing session that lasted until he threatened to take her to the bedroom if he didn't leave.
He stayed away until supper the next day and showed up at his usual time. "What did you do today?" he wanted to hear everything and in detail.
"Nothing and it felt good."
"How did you feel having so many people around you last night?" he gave her time to process her feelings.
"I didn't know the women all that well and the guys knew not to bring the past up. Overall I had a good time."
After supper he broached something he was wondering about, "There's so much you have to be angry at me with. Why are you even giving me the time of day?" he wasn't sure he wanted the answer.
"I love you," her simple answer made him catch his breath. Never had she said that to him and he found himself at a loss for words and just looked at her in amazement so she continued, "Love forgives."
"I don't deserve you, Wash," he took her in his arms; "I want to take away your pain and take care of you. I want to marry you."
"I think marriage is several steps away." Her tone held much humor, "We haven't even done an event I want," she was openly smirking at him.
"Okay, we do an event tomorrow, announce to the colony at the event where I propose and we get married next weekend."
"No, not yet. I want to get our working relationship fixed first before we announce anything and I do appreciate you keeping your distance while everyone was here. They thought I was being too nice to you inviting you at all," she was smiling again.
"I like your smile," he ended conversation with another long kissing session until he left.
He looked up and was in front of her house. No matter which way his mind told him to go, his feet found their way to her place. He saw her rover parked by the side of her house and before his mind could rationalize a retreat, he knocked.
Alicia wondered who was banging at mid-morning. They looked at one another again, assessing, before she stepped aside, "Did you get the doctor's report?"
He shook his head, "Don't care about it. I'm out of sorts, Wash. I'm no good without you in the Command Center. I've never wanted another woman since Ayani. I want you," he stopped and looked at her without touching.
"How long?" she kept the distance of about a foot between them.
He made a small shrug, "Years. We had so much to build and do here that I pushed any selfish desire to the back and concentrated on the colony. Learning from Philbrick that there were forces bent on our destruction made keeping you at a distance easier and safer. Now I have no excuse. The Phoenix are a force we'll have to deal with, but they're an enemy we can see and fight. Lucas is alive and probably recovering from the two bullets Skye put in him. I have no more secrets to keep from the colony outside what we found from the badlands."
"I haven't seen it yet," Nathaniel told her not long before the find of the prow of a ship in the storage container.
"After dark, I'll show you. Right now, I need you."
"First you want me, then need me. What's next?" she was tormenting him with her proximity. He could smell her unique scent and wanted to bury his head in her neck and hair.
"I don't want you putting your hair up again. My favorite is down," he couldn't stand it and reached out to take a handful to entwine around his fingers.
"I want a relationship where I don't have to salute," she still didn't move.
"I'm making you colony governor, a civilian position where you'll be in charge of the colony's civilians while I remain in charge of the military," he kept staring at her hair wrapped around his fingers as he talked.
"After my demotion, do you think anyone will take me seriously?"
"They love you and I've been told by everyone how hard you fought and the deaths of colonist were devastating to you personally. You left that out of your report. I had to ask around and everyone was more than willing to tell me I was an ass. You've been in charge equally with me for years now. I don't want to handle the arduous task of leading a colony, cut off, and the problems we're going to face, alone. I need you by my side. I am restoring your rank and when I'm OTG, you'll be in charge of the military, but I'm putting Guzman in charge of your training duties."
"What are you going to do with Shannon?" It was bothering her that he was chosen as her replacement, especially with his short tenure in the colony, but as always, she kept her feelings hidden.
"He helps me on the day to day issues and remains sheriff and you'll have projects with him. I plan on using him as a jack of all trades," he let the tresses slip through his fingers for the last time and settled his hands on her shoulders, intent on drawing her in for a kiss, until her hands against his chest halted any closing of distance.
Alicia looked down at the space between them, "There may be times I go against your wishes." She raised her eyes to his, "I'm not taking discipline from you ever again, Nathaniel. If that means quitting the military, I'll adjust."
"I don't want you out," his fingers gripped tightly around hers, which were captured within his larger hands when he released her hair. "I want to see you every day. Whatever function you have has to be performed from the Command Center where I can see you. Nobody knows the controls better than you and I still want you operating them and in charge of the colony when I'm OTG."
"You have Shannon for that."
"He'll do in a pinch, but it's your colony as much as mine. How about it, Wash, a governorship for you in addition to your military title of Lieutenant Commander, one grade below mine."
"You go from demoting me to a promotion?" she grimaced and shook her head.
"I told you I'd address your rank."
"I don't like the title of Governor."
He grinned, "Potentate."
"How about Director of Civilian Services with the rank of Lieutenant Commander and everyone can just call me Lieutenant like they do now."
"But your office will be in the Command Center. I won't budge on that," he wanted her close.
"My job will be to use civilian and military alike so a desk in the Command Center, like...say the one I have now will work for me, unless you're giving it to Guz," she didn't want to give her special place up.
"No, Guz can work off another table. I like looking over and seeing you. Guz doesn't do the same things to me," he slipped his hands down until they gripped her waist and he pulled her against him. "How about giving me a ride back to work and writing your new job description down. You've been slacking enough."
"What about my afternoon nap?" she smiled as his lips kept getting closer.
"No more naps unless I'm with you," he commandeered her mouth for a long kiss.