Chapter 15

Elliot had been lying awake for almost an hour watching her sleep. He had thought about waking her but decided against as she looked so peaceful and she hadn't had much rest the last few nights thanks to him. He slowly and gently untangled himself from her and slipped out the bed pulling on a pair of shorts before quietly leaving the room.

As he entered the living area he seen Haung stretching at the bench waiting for the kettle to boil, he turned his head when he heard Elliot enter the room.

"Coffee?" he asked him.

"Err yeah thanks" Elliot replied sitting on a stool by the bench.

They were silent until Haung sat opposite Elliot and handed him his coffee. Elliot took it and rested it on the bench between his hands looking into the cup. A few minutes passed until Elliot spoke.

"It was the firing pin" he said looking at Haung. "If I had taken my service revolver home that night I would be dead". Haung didn't say anything he just looked at him. "My kids wouldn't have a father. Liv she would be…..how could I have been so selfish, all I ever do is think about myself. Liv was right I am a selfish prick" He picked his cup up and took a drink. "I'm pathetic".

"You forgot stubborn, moody, hot-headed…."

"Yeah ok Doc I get the message" he snapped.

"Elliot your problem is your always the one people come to if they need help".

"That's my job"

"But who do you go to when you need help, who do you talk to"

"I….well"

"You don't, you keep it all to yourself, you bottle it all up, hoping it will just go away but it won't. You were unhappy in your marriage but you told no one, you were in love with Olivia, you kept it from her, pushing her away. If you had a hard day at work or a bad case you kept it inside. All because you can't or won't show your feelings."

Elliot looked at him "I know and it nearly cost me so much"

"The last few days you have opened up to me more than you have in the 12 years I have known you. That tells me you have finally accepted you need help and want help…."

"It scared me Doc, seeing what I was becoming, my anger and rage, I knew it was out of control I just wouldn't admit it. Even after I hit Liv and scared my kids in my head it was everyone else to blame, I felt as though they were all against me"

"So what made you realised you needed help?"

"When I had the woman that I love more than anything by the throat against a door, and she was begging me to hurt her because she thought it was her fault for not being there for me. Knowing I could just flip like that and do that to her scared me, I hated myself and I knew as much as I hated to admit it I wasn't strong enough to do it alone…..How could I have hurt her like that" he cried the tears streaming down his face.

Haung reached over and put a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"What if I can't control myself and I hurt her, I couldn't forgive myself, she has been through enough without me fucking up her life, she deserves someone better."

"So what you going to do? Push her away again like you have tried before. It never worked then. The both of you are incapable of coping alone, you need each other. What is it that scares you so much?"

"I've never had feelings like this. Never in my whole time with Kathy did I feel for her like I do for Liv. Kathy has given me 5 great kids and I love her for that…..but Liv she is different. She stands up to me and never takes any of my bullshit, she never backs down. It's like she knows what I'm thinking before I do you know. We will be in an interview and we just play off each other without even discussing it."

Haung watched Elliot's face light up as he talked about his partner.

"God I am completely in love with her, she walks into a room and my pulse rises, I can't breathe. I need her all the time….. I can't survive without her and that's what scares me. Look what happened when I thought she hated me just for a few weeks. I've always talked myself into loving her from a distance that way I don't have to worry about what will happen when I fuck up and lose her." Elliot looked over at Huang, begging for him to tell him what he should do. Elliot walked back and sat back down at the bench and sighed.

"I don't know what to do anymore…"

"Try your best not to fuck up I guess" said Olivia's voice from behind him. He turned his head round to face her. "and when you do fuck up we will argue and fight, then I will kick your ass" she said walking up to him, and putting her arms around his neck and leaning in for a kiss." And after I kick your ass" another kiss, " I will inform you what a prick you have been", she says kissing him again her lips hardly leaving hers as she talks." Then you can make it up to me".

"And what if I have another melt down? "He asked kissing her back moving his arms around her waist.

"Then I will be there for you again like I am now" she murmured kissing his neck. "I will always be there for you from now on the same as you will for me, I'm not going anywhere El no matter how much and how hard you push me" she told him looking in his eyes. "Baby we have seen each other at our worst times and we are still here fighting for each other. "

Elliot cupped her face and kissed her his tongue delving into mouth to find hers as he picked her up and sat her on the bench, her legs wrapping round her waist, her arms around his neck as the kiss became more intense.

"Erm…..I think I will go…..My work here seems done for now" Haung said edging his way out the room and back to his bedroom.

"Jesus Baby I love you so much" Elliot told her as he ran his hands under her T-shirt "I need you" he said as he pulled her shirt up over her head and threw it on the floor. His hands ran back up her side to her firm breasts and he massaged them gently rubbing her nipples between his finger and thumbs causing her to moan. He grabbed the waist line of her shorts and began to pull them down Olivia rising slightly so he could get them fully off.

He broke away from her mouth and kissed her down her neck line to her breasts and took her hard nipple in mouth flicking his tongue over it before moving over to her other nipple. He carried on his journey down he flat stomach. He stopped kissing and pushed her legs apart, his head level with her smooth shaven pussy. He moved his hand towards it gently running two fingers down the full length of her slit; Olivia flinched and groaned at his touch. He moved his head forward and covered with his mouth his tongue flicking over her clit, before sucking it into his mouth moaning at her sweet taste. He licked downwards and slid his tongue into her wet opening tasting her juices. He moved his tongue in and out as far as he feeling her move towards his mouth wanting more.

"Fuck babes that feels so good" she gasped grabbing the back of his head and pushing him to her. He moved his mouth and slipped two fingers into her standing back up and crashing his lips against hers. She moaned as she tasted herself on his lips"I'm close baby dont stop" she begged as his fingers moved faster into her a third finger joining the other two. She pushed her hips towards his hand as she kissed him hard feeling her orgasm building deep down. Elliot used his thumb to rub her nub causing her to buck hard against him.

"Come on baby" he said as he watched her arch her back, her head dropping back. He could feel her inner muscles start to tighten around his fingers.

"That's it Liv let it go I can feel you want to" he could feel her hot juices running down his fingers "Oh god baby come for me". He put his hand behind her neck and lifted her head so he could watch her.

"Oh god El, that's it….oh god baby…..I'm…..FUCK!" she screamed as her muscles gripped his hand her body began to shake as the orgasm ripped through her body, her juices flowing covering Elliot's hand as Elliot watched her till her body began to relax. He slowly removed his hand which was covered by Olivia's juices.

"Fuck Liv I think I came just watching you, that was fucking hot" he smiled feeling a damp patch in his shorts.

"Christ El" Liv gasped her voice still shaky. "I've never came like that before, what the fuck do you do to me"

Elliot smiled as he held her tight "Baby I've played that scene out over and over in my head for years now"

"Stabler" she mumbled into his neck as he held her.

"Yeah Benson"

"Fuck me….Now"

"Is that an order Detective?"

"Damn Right it is" she growled pushing his shorts down over his hips "I want you inside me I want you to cum inside me"

As his shorts hit the floor he pulled Olivia forward and guided himself into her hard and fast he couldn't wait.

"God yes El just do it don't be gentle" she begged

"Ok Baby "he gasped as he pushed into her completely before withdrawing and pushing in again harder and faster.

"Jesus liv you so wet and tight, you feel so good"

"Shut El. I need you to cum"

Elliot didn't hold back as he fucked her hard against the bench. Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him into her as she ground her hips towards him.

"That's is baby I can feel your close" she gasped as she felt him throbbing inside her "Let it go El"

Elliot pounded one more time into her before he exploded, his hot seed shot into her as she gripped him tight squeezing him over and over till he collapsed forward holding on to her.

"I think my legs are going to give out" he panted trying to hold himself up. He felt Olivia chuckling against him.

"You okay Baby"

"Yeah I think so….why did we wait so long to do this?" he asked her.

"I don't know but we aren't going to wait that long to do it again" she said. "Come on lets go to bed and get some sleep; I think we're going to need the rest" she laughed. "I've got plans for you"

"Anything for you Baby I'm all yours from now on, I'm not going anywhere"

Olivia nodded "Too right you're not, not after that performance" she said giving him one last kiss "Come on lets go to bed before you collapse" she smiled.

Elliot withdrew from her and helped her down off the bench picking up his shorts and Olivia's clothes. Before looking round.

"Shit" he said looking back at her "Where did the Doc go"

I'm thinking it could be hot tub time in the next chapter and maybe they need to try out some more adventurous stuff. Could be time for the doc to disappear for the night.