Hi! So here's the new chapter. Opinions? Thanks :)
Hopefully next one will be a week from now…I have some stuff to take care of but I should be free to write during the day and late nights/early mornings :)

Dear Diary…What can I tell you…I'm not sure if this, if I can really admit this but…Yeah…So…Santana Lopez is sleeping in my bed…Ohh no, stop that dirty thinking…Both of you! Man you and my mind are really dirty…So San is sleeping and she seems so peaceful and the opposite of a dangerous raging Latina, but now that I think about it she seems different now, mature and calm, so that would explain the peaceful thing…

Truth to be told I want to kiss her, to be next to her in that big bed and have her in my arms, to be with her as more than just friends…Truth to be told I wanted that since…I don't know…Freshman year? Maybe even before that…

There is a secret I never shared with you…Since I was just a toddler I used to spend every summer in Florida, back where my grandma used to live. So one summer I met San. We were just kids then and we were practically forced to spend time together since our grandmas where really close friends. At the beginning we hated each other, I hated her mostly because she reminded me of the bullies back at home and she just answered to that hate with her, even for then, typical word venom.

As time passed that first summer we actually started liking each other and soon summer was my favorite thing in the whole world…We actually made a promise that every summer we would go back and spent it together. So every summer we would see each other and hang out, always ignoring the fact that three other seasons had passed. It was like we never left our little summer paradise…

We knew practically nothing about the other one, we never shared, and we never talked about our lives back in the world. There was no need for it. We just needed the other one to be there. So…

Here comes the part where I'm a bitch once again…

That summer that Fran helped me change was the first summer ever where I saw that look in San's eyes. When she saw me and looked at me with those full of dark chocolate orbs I remember my heart skipping, singing, making me feel like I was flying and of course I got scared by that feeling. It was a feeling that boys should have awaken in me, but it wasn't a boy that did…It was a gorgeous Latina…The whole summer I thought about kissing her, feeling her soft lips against mine, feeling her hands on my skin or seeing her smile at me, whispering that she loves me…I wanted to stay away from her, to escape the feeling that was so "wrong" by the believes of my parents, but I really couldn't do it…It was like ripping a part of my heart and stepping on it…So it was both one of my best summers and my worst…

When next summer came I was fearless…Yeah I had thought about her during the whole year and I dreamed about seeing her, about spending our summer before High school started together…Maybe it was the hormones or something? But that summer we practically spent it making out, you know that whole "it's just for practicing, so we could be better for the boys" thing…Back then I wanted to believe that it was only that for me…But I knew it wasn't, and I actually accepted it…I thought that this was Santana, that she was so smart, gorgeous, kind and so much more, that it was impossible for me not to like her, but it was impossible for her to feel the same, and that made it ok in my head to spent the whole summer "practicing"…

But as summer ends school starts and as we didn't talk about our real lives I didn't knew she was from Lima and she didn't knew I was moving there…We liked pretending that we lived in Florida, that we had our whole lives there…It was as I said a summer paradise and it was forbidden to talk about life outside of it…So I didn't know, she didn't know and it was the first day of school that we actually found out…

Quinn felt her eyes closing. It was pretty late, but she wasn't really ready to go to bed. Yeah she wanted her sleep, but…She didn't really wanted to sleep in the same bed as San, not really sure of what could happen if she did…So she was just staying awake which now was proving to be extremely hard to do.

It was her idea after all, it was her idea for the Latina to stay the night. She was alone at home and it was late when they were done with playing games, so the words just came from her lips, so wanted and so unwanted at the same time…She wasn't sure what to do now…So she just decided to remember the past…If she could…If she could returned to that summer before freshman year…If she could…But she couldn't it was impossible and she had to deal with it…Deal with the fact that that same summer was the last time she had kissed Santana, the last summer she spent with Fran.

Quinn repeated her mantra once again, feeling the tears going down her cheeks. She had gotten used to the crying by now, but it didn't mean that she wanted to cry, who would?

"You ok Q?" the room was definitely darker than Quinn thought because the sleeping figure from her bed was now next to her wrapping her hands around the blonde's shoulders and pulling her closer. Not that she minded the warm body, the soft skin touching hers or the hands in her blonde hair…No she didn't mind any of it, she was just scared, first because she didn't really expected that to happen and second because it was happening…They were so close…She could feel San's warm breath against her neck…She felt chills all over her body, she didn't even had the power of speech…She lost that and it was showing no signs of returning… "I know we don't talk but…You know…" she pulled back just a little so their eyes would meet in the dark room "We could start" she smiled and whipped the tears from Q's cheeks with her warm fingers, cupping her face in the mean time.

"I want to…" she said her voice barely above a whisper "But I can't…I just…I'm not ready" she hid her face in the brunette's neck smelling the tropical fruit flavor coming from her whole body and hair. She felt the soft touch on her back. San was holding her without saying a word…They were just sitting there on the couch in a hug. The most intimate of all and yet so innocent, so true, so supportive, so…So much more…

And it was with the memory of that hug that Quinn woke up. When she did, she was alone in her room, a warm blanket around her body and a note saying only "See you later"…Those were the words they used back when it was the end of summer, and they knew the next time they see each other will be in a year...Both girls didn't want to admit that it was a long time so they would just say "See you later" as a promise that no matter what happens they would see each other again, never really saying goodbye.

Dear Diary it's been a week since I came back to school, since that day with San, since I last wrote to you…A week…Yeah…Not much happened during it, don't worry you didn't really miss anything interesting. A few confrontations maybe, nothing big…I don't know what I really expect to happened but everything seems to be working out just fine…Puck seems fine now, Santana seems ok too, Mercedes doesn't bug me about my past year, all the new glee kids are awesome, except that one guy that I haven't met yet…His sick or something like that…

So yeah, nothing much has happened in my live…So I thought I could continue telling you that story?

You kind of need to know it to understand the whole Puck thing…

Ok…

So…

Freshman year starts…I was afraid, I was confused, I missed Santana, I missed Fran and most of all I was unsure of myself…I had no idea what I wanted or what to do…I was on my own, no friends here, no big sister, no hot Latina and I panicked…I remember thinking "What am I going to do?" a hundred times during that first day…And then it came to me…An opportunity…Who was popular in a High School? Who was never tormented? A Cheerleader! So…Yeah I decided to become one even thou I didn't like it, or didn't even care about it…I just wanted someone next to me and what better than a whole team… I wanted security and what better than popularity…

And here I was…Standing in a gym and trying out for the squad, practically improvising the whole addition…But somehow I made it and Sue seemed to love me in her own weird way…I was a part of that squad and so was Britt and we became close that first day…As it seemed with an early admission so was Santana and with my luck she was also Britt's best friend…

It was the first day of practice and I was early and alone in the big gym, when I heard her voice for the first time or actually a gasp, but I recognized the sound…She was staring at me with an opened mouth, she seemed as surprised as I felt…The worst of that situation was that I wanted to kiss her so badly I could actually feel something pushing me towards her…But I fought it and just smiled…We didn't say anything because the other girls came in…Back then I was terrified…Terrified from my feelings towards her, from what she might have told her friends or from what she might expect from me, from us…So I ignored her during practice at the beginning but Britt was friendly and nice, and she wanted me to hang out with them…She was, is, the type of girl that you just can't say "no" to…So you see how it goes right?

We were forced into friendship once again and we both pretended that we were strangers…Why you may ask? So you know why I did it and San, she did it because she was hurt by my reaction, by my actions and she was also scared…

I was different from the girl she knew…Back in Florida I would talk about movies like Star wars, or games, music, tv shows, I would talk about surfing, skating…Back in Florida I would be me, or the best me that I could imagine…There, with her…All of it seemed like it was possible, like I could be that geeky, nerdy, but yet sporty girl that had way too many interests and she seemed to like it, to like me…Back there I felt free to express myself but this was High school, and it was freshman year, and that Quinn from then was afraid to show the real her to anyone, she was scared of ending up at the same place she was her whole life…So she decided that that her was just someone she created in Florida and she pretended to be…That Quinn decided to act more serious, more "cool", so I became a bitch…The bitch of the school actually…The Head Cheerio…And I started dating Finn…

So Finn was a sweet and goofy boy, he had potential to become more in this school and I saw that as an opportunity to seek more power…Yeah freshman year I was that girl that is obsessed with popularity and her reputation…And dating Finn was all about that…There were no feeling even thou I tried to lie to myself about it…There was nothing…

Few weeks in the year Glee started and Finn became a part of it and he had a crush on Rachel which made me mad and aggressive…I started tormenting the kids in the New Directions, of course I used the football team to do so, never actually throwing a slushy at someone, but that didn't made it better…I was becoming that girl…I was becoming the same as my tormenters and I started hating myself for it…To cover the hate, to escape the constantly growing feeling for Santana I had to do something…

It was at one of Puck's big parties…He came to me to talk about San…He seemed tipsy and he had a whole six pack with him to get even more drunk…I remember him sitting next to me and drinking, giving me a beer and talking about Santana…I even remember his words…

"I know her since we were just babies…I've never seen her happier that the moment she realizes summer has started and more miserable the moment she realizes it had ended…" I remember starting my drink during this point…He was looking at me and I knew his eyes were going right into my soul "She used to get that spark, some special spark in her eyes at the beginning of every summer" he took another long sip that made me want to punch him…I felt stuck, like a caged animal…I had no idea why was he telling me all this… "She got it again the first time she saw you here…And then…It was just gone after that…" he knew and I panicked… "You…She…You're so in lo…" before he could finish I kissed him…I kissed him and he was too drunk to think about how wrong all this was…Santana was his best friend, Finn was his best friend…We were betraying them both, but he was too drunk to know right from wrong…I wasn't…

I was sober enough to know that this was wrong…I slept with Puck that night…I regretted it for so long…It was actually poisoning me…Now…Now I just see it as the turning point in my life.

It was that night that I started to accepted that boys weren't really my thing, but I was still the Head Bitch and that meant that being gay was impossible with too many consequences to pay…I chose to sacrifice my feelings for Santana for the sake of my own popularity, in the meantime I was hurting her, hurting Finn, hurting Puck's friendships…And all of that for my own selfishness…

So long story short…That school year Finn and Puck ended up fighting each other because of me, Finn started dating Rachel after that and they were madly in love or something…Given the fact that I joint Glee to keep them apart it didn't really bother me, Puck and I ended up together and the worst part was that I knew I can't love him and yet I kept giving him hope and he became a good guy for me, the guy to open my door, that guy that looks at you like you're a goddess…He was the perfect guy, he even tried not to cheat on me…So I would have loved him…I could have loved him…If only I wasn't in love in Santana…

She was hurt the most, back then I didn't accepted the fact that she liked me the way I like her, even thou it was painfully obvious so I was still in denial, but a part of me knew how much I was hurting her by being with Puck…She started dating or sleeping with Britt by that time…And that was the thing that bothered me the most…It was painful as hell…

So… I made a mistake…

Near the end of the school year…Pff…Near the end of it…Ok…So…I kind of made out with someone else…

It was wi

"Quinn, honey!" her mother's voice was clear and loud. The blonde smiled still happy from the fact that her father was nowhere to be seen also the diary thing seemed to help her emotional state "There is a boy looking for you!" she yelled again and Quinn left her diary on the bed, her story still unfinished, going upstairs. She wasn't really sure who to expect…Puck had his little confrontation with her and they were fine now…Now he was fine and in love and faithful…Who would have guessed that…Not her…And Finn had moved to another school…Basically all the boy drama was taken care of and there was no one she could think of…

Hey…Maybe it's that guy that does all those interview stuff , the perverted that is mad about Rach…She thought as she was walking through the big house. She really didn't care who it was, but there was nothing else to think about right now. Blame it on the hair. She laughed. Nice, now I'm laughing to my own jokes…She opened the massive wooden door…

One look was enough to still her breath away from her lungs…She was officially suffocating…

"Hay" he said shyly, shrugging his shoulders. He was taller than Quinn with a shiny blonde hair and familiar green eyes. He was wearing a letterman jacket…He was wearing a McKinley letterman jacket… "Sam I am" he made a try at impersonating Yoda and the other blonde smiled finally being able to breathe…"So…I was like…I thought…You know I wanted to meet you…And…I…You know I'm your…" he was nervous if you didn't caught that from the rambling so was Quinn…Because yeah…She knew who he was, all she knew it very well…He even looked like him in a small way.

"My brother" she finished for him, to break the awkward and short silence between them. He seemed surprised from the words, like he was expecting me to know, but not really sure if I did. "I saw a picture of you once" she explained and smiled again. "So…Hay" they looked at each other for some time, not able to talk…This was weird but not because it was awkward…No it was weird because they both felt at ease with the other one, like they had known each other for like forever or something.

"I saw you first day in Glee…" it was his time to explain "And I heard my mom talking to your…our…Russel on the phone about you knowing…So…I thought…You know…" he looked away, somewhere in the distance. He seemed to regret something…Probably making the decision to come here with no preparation or whatever…

"I know" he looked at her, now smiling too. She could feel, hear, sense…Use whatever term you like, but she could hear Fran saying something about relaxing, chilling a little so she decided to do what her sister would have done…Act like this was no different than everyday life… "Do you have time? We could go to my room, play some games?" she offered and opened the door so he could enter. In nowadays you could say that she dealt with her problems and emotions through video games…Yeah that one was new for her, but she liked that she could destroy her pain, aggression, doubts, surprise and more other through kicking some alien or human but in Mass Effect or mythical creatures in God of war, or just fighting some guy from Naruto…

"Cool" he entered and followed her downstairs, talking about games he liked and movies "You have the best room ever" he smiled widely at all the posters and her little console heaven, at the different boards, at her movie collection…

With that all the tension was gone, all the fear or any other emotion different from happiness…All of them were gone and they were just free to talk about likes and dislikes, about life, school, childhood.

They talked for hours.

"I skate and I like snowboarding, but surfing…Yeah not a fan of the ocean after Jaws" he said as he was pushing almost all of the controller's buttons "I know a few tricks, but I'm better at football" he didn't even look at her when he talked, they were both busy beating the life out of each other, in game of course "And you? I know you were a cheerleader here."

"YES!" Quinn yelled and started dancing, she was the unbeaten champion. Ok Santana won a lot of games yesterday but that was totally unfair…She was distracting Quinn with her gorgeousness and the brunette didn't even knew what she was doing…It didn't count! Yeah tell yourself that…Shut up! You're talking to yourself again…She could hear the laughing in her head…Yeah she was going crazy…"A yeap I was, buuuuuuuuut only for a year here and then I started with swimming" she answered starting a new game. "I love it, but…Wait does McKinley have a swimming team?" she was feeling confused till this moment she haven't even thought about it.

"Um yeah I think so" he was now once again concentrated on the fight. "If you love something you do it" he said and paused the game to go get a drink from the mini fringe "You should have a party here, it would be epic!" Sam seemed to have already started planning for it.

"Nah it's Puck's thing" she unpaused the game and started punching Sam's guy almost killing him, before the blonde boy could take control over him again.

"Cheater! "He laughed and bit his lip in a desperate attempted to save his life…It didn't work and Quinn laughed evilly like a cartoon villain. "You could ask him to do it. You know if you want" he looked at the clock and Q could see the disappointment on his face… "I have to go…Sorry" he seemed like a kid that had his candy stolen.

"Sounds like a plan" she said and walked with him to the door, silence falling between them, like it was the last time they were going to talk "We have to do this again" she hugged him, and yeah it was awkward but both of them seemed to like it "You're my little brother" she smiled at him, it was a statement, it was a reassurance that they were going to grow closer.
….


SANTANA'S POV

"Hey stranger" she felt the warm hand on her naked shoulders, the chill going through her body and that immediate smile on her face, that spark that was only for that one person. "Whatcha doin?" Santana turned to look at the blonde behind her. She looked like a kitten ready to play or exited for a new toy. So naturally the Latina couldn't help but wonder what was the reason for that mood of hers.

"Going to my next class" she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but given the fact that they were in the middle of their school and it was around third period, it kind of was. "Sup with you Bubbles, you're like on drugs or something?" San looked at the other girl that was having some sort of thinking face. For a moment the brunette thought that Quinn wasn't even listening to her.

"I'm more like Blossom, Britt should be Bubbles" she said like it was a revelation of a lifetime which it certainly wasn't btw "You're Buttercup"

"If you wanna live don't ever call me that again" she said frowning. The other girl didn't really seem to take her seriously and just laughed at her words. "So not answering means yes" the Latina said and looked at her with suspicion.

"Nope, don't do that stuff" she said shaking her head and pulling San by the arm in the opposite direction of her classroom.

"Yo cray-cray where are you taking me? To the mothership? " Quinn just laughed again and pulled the Latina through a door. The girl knew well that that door was leading directly to the parking lot.

"Ah no it's too soon for you to meet the masters" she said smiling widely either to her joke or to the Latina's reaction which was now shaking her head "We're skipping" the brunette shook her head again and Quinn's smile grew even wider if it was possible…Only someone with a mouth big as Sam could manage such a smile…Or so she thought till this moment. "Excellent, you're in!" she clapped her hands and looked around for her bike.

"I just said no" the Latina continued with her rebellion and shook her head again this time pointing to it "See" she made sure that the blonde's attention was on her "No" the rebellion was just for fun, she already knew that there was no way out of this.

"In Bulgaria that's a yes and nodding is no" she explained absented mindedly

"We. Are. In. The. U.S.A." she wasn't ready to give up.

"So? What's your point?" the blonde handed her a helmet and started putting on hers.

"You're just…Phh" San's anger and annoyance was a little obvious but she took the offered thing and put it carefully on. She took the seat behind Quinn that was now trying to start the bike.

"Dashing, amazing, smart, and funny?" The bike roared like a very old lion or a grizzly bear maybe? And San suddenly felt a slight fear for her life.

"Idiot, a complete idiot" San could swear that behind the helmet Quinn was making a fake hurt expression. "You can drive this, right?" Quinn just shrugged and started driving towards the exit of the parking lot, slowly.

"According to the law or skills?" she pulled from the road and stopped for a second

"Both?" fear was now growing in the Latina

"Aaa no, according to the law but my skillzzzzz" she thought for a second but San could feel the answer it was painfully obvious. "I can more that drive it" the Latina could swear that she can see the smug face under the helmet. But something in Quinn's expression changed and San knew that the blonde had caught the slight fear she was feeling "You've seen me drive this old thing." She said pulling off her helmet and San's visor, looking in her eyes…The tough Latina was melting inside…She felt warm and she both hated that feeling and loved it… "Aha so when you were driving behind me you were looking at the wrong place" she said it like it was a mystery she was trying to solve for years.

"There is something to see so why not" the Latina answered feeling her strength coming back. She noticed the small blush on Quinn's cheeks but the blonde hid it fast by putting on the helmet again.

"Shut up and let me drive" and with those words the conversation was over and they were headed in an unknown for the Latina direction…This was going to be quite the year, she could feel it, but she wasn't yet sure if it was going to be a good or a bad year.

QUINN'S POV

Quinn couldn't help the smile on her face, the warm feeling all over her body, the thoughts in her head…She couldn't help feeling happy, yeah…The fact that Santana's body was pressed against hers wasn't helping either…But it was the best damn feeling in this whole world and any other universe or a galaxy far far away. There was no explaining it, there was no comparing it…