Saturday Morning - Rito's House
"Rise and shine, Playboystien." Breathed Sallem in a grizzly tone into a sleeping Rito's ear.
"GAAHHHH!" Exclaimed Rito as he bolted upright at how he was woken. "GAAHHHH!" He exclaimed when he saw Sallem's face. Nothing against the guy personally, but seeing someone with half their face torn off first thing in the morning would freak anyone out. "Will you stop tormenting me?" He groaned.
"Not any time before I take my medication I won't." Replied Sallem bluntly. "You're just too much fun to harass. I especially like how you always overreact to every little thing. It's almost as much fun as making Run's life miserable."
"What did you do to her today?" Sighed Rito.
"Today? Nothing. It's too early, and I don't have any plans to do so anyway. Yesterday? Again, nothing. Zastin had another date with Saki, Aya, and Rin. He began teaching Rin some sword techniques, began teaching Aya some of the basics of manga, and Saki began teaching him how to cook, which kinda surprised me since she didn't strike me as the housewife type at all, and most of her dishes are good enough for four or five star restaurants, believe it or not. Two days ago, however? Run had a concert, so I decided to plant firecrackers on the stage. Run was tortured, but everyone else just thought it was all a part of the act. Even the part where her dress caught fire." Sallem replied humorously.
"Why do you keep pulling pranks on her?" Asked Rito, genuinely interested.
"It's not just her I torment. I'll prank anyone if I know I can get away with it, which, of course, is almost everyone." Explained Sallem. "Like that time with you and the bear trap."
"What bear trap?" Asked Rito fearfully.
"Oh right, I haven't pulled that one on you yet." Sallem hummed as he scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well then forget it. It won't work if you already know it's coming."
"Thanks... I think?" Replied Rito uncertainly.
"Don't mention it." Replied Sallem as if Rito hadn't added the 'I think' part to the end. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take my medication, and you need to get downstairs for your date with Ryoko."
"Alright." Sighed Rito before he completely took in what Sallem had said. "...Wait. Ryoko's already here?"
"Yes, yes she is." He replied happily. "Now get downstairs before I decide to violently throw a chair at your head."
"Right away!" Panicked Rito, fully aware that Sallem wouldn't hesitate to follow through on that threat since he hadn't had his medication yet.
Downstairs
"So Ryoko, it's finally your fifth date with Rito." Observed Mikan. "Do you think you can get him by the time it's over?"
"I'm not really sure." Replied Ryoko honestly. "Truth be told, I'm a little scared he won't fall for me before it's over, and then I won't have any way to make him go out with me again."
Mikan mulled the idea over for a few seconds. "I guess you do have a point. Rito doesn't seem like the type for polygamy."
"What's polygamy?" Asked Lala curiously.
"It's basically where one person get married to multiple members of the opposite sex." Explained Ryoko. "The most common way to go about it is to have one man and multiple women."
"Oh, well then Rito's definitely the type for polygamy." Said Lala happily.
"Why would you say that, Lala?" Asked Mikan in bewilderment.
"Oh!" Lala said when she realized her blunder. She had sworn not to tell anyone about Haruna's feelings for Rito... But she hadn't sworn not to tell anyone about Rito's feelings for Haruna. "Well, Rito told me that he loved me and Haruna a little over a month ago." Everyone just stared at her. Momo looked happiest, followed by Ryoko, while Mikan look a little disturbed, and Nana looked mortified. "Just don't tell anyone! It's supposed to be a secret!" She hastily added.
"Onee-sama!" Exclaimed Nana. "How can you be okay with that?"
"It's very simple washboard," Insulted Sallem as he came downstairs. "Lala simply doesn't care about how many people get into a relationship with Rito, just so long as she's one of those people."
"Don't call me washboard!" Exclaimed Nana as she threw the nearest available heavy object at Sallem...
Who casually dodged it and it ended up hitting Rito in the side of his head as he came downstairs, knocking him out, and sending him tumbling down the stairs in a heap. Awkward silence ensued.
"Well... That could have gone somewhat better." Deadpanned Sallem. "At least now Ryoko can take him off our hands for the day without much of a fuss."
"I... guess you have a point." Observed Ryoko. "But don't you think he'll find it weird when he suddenly wakes-up in my car or my house?"
"Yes." Drawled Sallem. "That would be a good thing."
"You're sick." Observed Nana.
"And you're aggressive." Rebuked Sallem.
"Why you little-!" Growled Nana as she reached for something else to throw.
"1) You're just proving my point. And 2) I'm not the little one here, you are." Taunted Sallem.
"I'M GONNA KILL yoouuhohhuuuh~." Shouted Nana before her words started getting slurred.
"Hm~. Nana really needs to learn to watch her temper." Momo hummed as she toyed with Nana's tail.
"Why-hyyy, you little-little-LITTLE!" Nana growled as she lunged for and grabbed Momo's tail.
"Ahh~, ohh~, right there, right there." Momo moaned.
Everyone present, except Rito, who's recovering from a concussion, and Lala who was nervously empathizing with what was happening, just stared at them awkwardly.
"I'm getting very uncomfortable here." Said Sallem uncomfortably as he pulled out his remote. "Go play in traffic, you two." He said as he teleported them elsewhere. "You might wanna take Rito away before he wakes-up and starts asking questions I don't really feel like answering." He told Ryoko.
"Um... alright?" Conceded Ryoko uneasily as she went to carry Rito off. "I'm... not really sure what just happened here... And I saw the whole thing." She said as she went out the door.
There was a very long and awkward pause before Mikan broke the silence. "Did you really just teleport them into traffic?" She asked Sallem awkwardly.
Sallem said nothing in response. He just put on a pair of sunglasses, got out some kind of metal stick, there was a flash, then suddenly, Mikan and Lala were just staring vacantly into space in a trance.
"Alright now," Began Sallem. "I just teleported Nana and Momo to a circus. They'll be back in a few hours. Rito and Ryoko are on their date... And just for the fun of it let's add that Yami asked you two to help her win Rito over as she has a massive crush on him before she left nervously." Sallem said nothing more as he snapped his fingers, pressed a button on his remote, and vanished, all in one swift motion.
Lala and Mikan snapped out of their trance and looked at each other.
"I had no idea that Yami felt that way about Rito." Said Mikan awkwardly.
"This is great!" Cheered Lala happily. "If Rito married Yami too, then she would stop trying to kill him."
"She doesn't try to do that very much lately, anyway." Observed Mikan. "Though I guess we know why now."
With Nana and Momo
"Ahhh! Let go of my taiiiil~!" Wailed Nana.
"Not until you let go of miiiiine~!" Moaned Momo.
"I'll take your tail and shove it up your-!"
"Hehehehe." A chuckle cut Nana off.
Nana and Momo suddenly let go of each others tails and slowly turned towards the source of the chuckling. When they saw a panting, sweaty, stout man with circular sunglasses and a hairstyle that resembled horns, they only had one thing on their minds.
"RUN!" They shouted in unison as they did just that.
"Waaaiiit!" Shouted the Principal as he took off after them in nothing but his boxers. "Come back and do that again!"
"No way!" They denied him as they picked up their pace.
"Wait a second..." Said Momo after running for a few minutes. "Why are we running when we have our cellphones?" She asked her sister, who just stared at her for a second.
"Of course!" Nana realized. "Let's pound this creep into next week!" She said as she and her sister reached for their cellphones.
Only for them to not be there.
"Where are our phones?" Panicked Nana.
"Sallem must have filtered them out of the teleportation." Realized Momo.
"Damn him!" Growled Nana. "What do we do now?"
"What else?" Riddled Momo. "Keep running!"
After about three more minutes of running, they heard someone screaming, a thud, and then they turned around while still running.
"Wh-Where am I?" Asked Run as she looked around.
"Run-chan." Mumbled The Principal happily from beneath Run's foot, looking up her skirt.
"KYYYYAAAAAAA!" Shouted Run as she took off at high speed.
"Waaaait! Come back Run-chaaan!" Shouted The Principal as he took off after her.
Nana and Momo just stared blankly in the direction they'd ran off in for a few seconds. "I guess we're safe now." Realized Nana.
"I guess so." Agreed Momo. "Though I do feel kinda bad for Run."
"She's an idol." Shrugged Nana. "They've gotta stay in good shape to keep their job, or something like that."
"I guess so." Conceded Momo. "Besides, if worse comes to worse, she can probably find some way to make herself sneeze and turn into Ren. That should get him in the clear."
With Rito and Ryoko
"Uhhhg~." Groaned Rito as he rubbed his head. "What happened?" He looked around. "And more importantly, where am I?"
"You're at my house, Rito." Came Ryoko's voice, though Rito was currently too busy trying to get the world to stop spinning to find out where she was. "You took a pretty nasty spill back at your house, so I decided to take you here to help you recover, and get our date started." She playfully added.
"Ok." Replied Rito, finally getting his head on straight again. As he looked around, he took notice of what was around him. There was a table, a big screen TV, the couch he was sitting on, and... Ryoko in a red bathrobe? "Ryoko." Rito began nervously. "Why are you wearing that?"
"What, this?" Asked Ryoko as she held out her arms. "I just felt like dressing casually, that's all."
"Well... alright then." Conceded Rito. "So what are we doing for this date?"
"I thought about that," Began Ryoko. "And I decided that, right now, all I want to do is just spend time with you."
Rito looked at her for a few seconds, highly puzzled. "That's it?" He asked. "You just want to spend time together?"
"Of course." She replied. "I can't think of anything better than just spending the entire weekend with the man I love, and no one else." She added suggestively.
Rito felt his face heat up slightly, but didn't let it deter him greatly. "So... we're just going to spend the weekend together?" Ryoko nodded. "But what about Oshizu?"
"She's spending her weekend at Haruna's house." Ryoko said as she sat on the couch. "It's just you and me. The whole weekend, all to ourselves." She breathed into his ear, flustering him a bit more.
Before Rito could say anything, his stomach beat him to the punch by letting out a loud rumbling. "I... haven't had breakfast yet." He said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.
"I'll get us something to eat then." Offered Ryoko. "What would you like?"
"Anything's fine, really." Replied Rito. "Just! Don't put anything... weird in it, okay?" He added hastily.
Ryoko just chuckled. "By 'weird' I assume you mean aphrodisiacs?" Rito nodded instantly. "Don't worry, I want things to be completely natural between us. If I have to drug you to get your attention, I'd rather be without it."
As Ryoko walked into the kitchen, Rito felt his face get even warmer. 'She really seems serious about this. Not that she didn't seem serious about it before, but she really wants to make this work.' Many thoughts were whirling around in Rito's head at the moment. 'She's in the kitchen making breakfast. We're going to spend the whole weekend together. Could she have something planned for every minute? Probably not. Why the whole weekend then?' These and a few other thoughts were buzzing about in his head for a few minutes until Ryoko called him in for breakfast.
Breakfast - 8:46 am
"So, what's for breakfast?" Rito asked, only realizing how awkward it sounded after he asked.
"I had some leftover steak from last night and didn't really feel like working too hard this morning." Explained Ryoko as she set the half eaten meal on the table. "So how's school been going for you?"
"It's been alright." Rito replied as he started eating. "I haven't been the victim of much trouble lately, though I could have done without you kissing me in public two days ago." He shuddered as he recalled the memory.
"Sorry about that," Ryoko chuckled. "But I just couldn't help myself. I didn't get the chance to kiss you before on any of our dates, and I didn't want to wait until it was too late. And besides, it was just a kiss."
"One that was followed by me getting chased by a mob." Rito muttered under his breath.
"Oh my!" Gasped Ryoko. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea everyone would get so upset about it. Personally, I thought that most people had lost interest in me once I got to be this size."
"Well," Began Rito awkwardly. "Apparently you're 'hot-even-when-buff' or something like that."
"Really now?" Smiled Ryoko coyly. "Was it just the mob that thought that, or was that your sentiment too?"
"It was the mob!" Rito hastily exclaimed, totally red-faced.
"Don't even think about lying to me, young man." Taunted Ryoko. "There's no way you're not at least a little interested in my body after all you've seen of it over our past four dates." She said as she opened up her robe, revealing a lacy red bra and panties underneath.
Rito got a nosebleed.
Afternoon - 4:47
"C'mon Rito," Pleaded Ryoko playfully. "You've hardly said anything since this morning. At least tell me why."
"Why?" Asked Rito in astonishment. "You mean you really don't know?"
"Oh I know. I just want to hear you say why." Teased Ryoko.
"That's what I'm talking about." Sighed Rito. "You're always showing off your body and teasing me without any modesty."
"Is there something wrong with that?" Ryoko asked honestly. "I have my own sense of fashion, the same as everyone else. It's just that mine is a bit less modest than what most are used to."
"A bit?" Rito remarked sarcastically. "Do you have any idea how much of your body was showing on our third date? Or how, er, inviting the one you wore on our fourth date was?"
"I know exactly how much of my body I was flaunting on our third date." Remarked Ryoko. "And by 'inviting' I assume you mean 'it looked perfect for perverted fantasies'."
"Something like that." Muttered Rito.
"Rito, I'm just trying to make the most of the time we have together." Ryoko explained. "Wearing something more and more sexy with each date just felt like a good way to do that."
Rito stared at her for a few seconds. "Are you serious?" He asked.
"We've been going out for about three weeks now and you have to ask me that?" Ryoko asked sarcastically.
"I guess not." Said Rito grudgingly.
"Don't worry Rito," Reassured Ryoko. "My body was just part of the seduction." She happily noticed his face light-up slightly when she said 'seduction'. "Every moment I've spent with you. Everything I've talked with you about. Everything we've done together. All of it was just to show you the total package you'll get from me." She noticed Rito looked somewhat confused, as if he only understood half of what she said. "I'm smart, I'm sensitive, I'm playful, I'm sexy, I'm a hard worker, I'm a good cook, I'm yours if you'll have me, and I don't mind sharing you."
Rito's face burned. "I'm not like that!" He exclaimed.
"Yes you are, Rito." She corrected. "Lala told me about how you confessed to her and said that you liked Haruna too." She noticed him panic slightly. "Don't be too upset with her Rito. She's just too innocent to really understand things like that."
"I guess you're right." Sighed Rito. "I'm just not sure what to make of what I'm feeling right now."
"It's okay to feel the way you do." Comforted Ryoko. "So you love two girls at the same time. Lala's fine with that, Haruna seems like an understanding person, and I'd be more than happy if you'd make room for me in your heart too." She added flirtatiously at the end. Seeing Rito's face made her wonder if there were a more vivid shade of red. "All that really matters here now, is what you want to do about your feelings."
Rito paused for a few seconds to think about it. "I'm... not really sure." He finally admitted. "I just... feel like I'd be doing something wrong if I... were with more than one woman."
"There's nothing wrong with it." Rebuked Ryoko. "Believe it or not, there are a lot more planets out in the galaxy that allow, encourage, or even demand polygamy than those that don't. It would be more wrong if you didn't at least give it a shot."
Rito calmed down to the point where his blush was just a faint tint on his cheeks. "I... guess you have a point there." He admitted uncertainly. "Sallem actually said the same thing awhile ago."
"Well, he's not the smartest and most successful person in the galaxy for nothing." Ryoko replied. "Just let things flow naturally. If you wanna go out with someone else while you're with Lala, Haruna, myself, or someone else who doesn't mind sharing, I say go for it." She said happily.
"Thanks... I think?" Rito said awkwardly. "I'm... pretty sure I needed to hear that. You've really made me feel better... at least for now." He said uncertainly. "But, could you do one more thing for me?"
"Of course Rito."
"PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" Exclaimed Rito.
"But Rito," Whined Ryoko slightly. "I always spend the weekends in my underwear." She explained as she arched her back in a long stretch, showing off her minimally clothed body to the best of her ability. "I'm just trying to get you comfortable with this for when we get married."
"WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?" Exploded Rito.
Night - 7:54
"How did you like dinner, dear?" Asked Ryoko playfully.
"Will you stop calling me that?" Complained Rito. "It was pretty good. Better than the last two meals at least."
"Really?" Asked Ryoko curiously. "It was just rice, fish, and some vegetables. Lunch was much better than that."
"Yeah, but at least you were dressed this time." Rito muttered.
Ryoko chuckled at his innocence. "You're far too modest, you know that?"
"Maybe it's the other way around." Sarcastically muttered Rito as quietly as possible.
"Hey, I say if you've got it, flaunt it." Rebuked Ryoko.
"How did you hear that?" Asked Rito, honestly interested.
"Do you see these?" Ryoko asked as she brushed her hair aside, revealing her pointed ears. Rito nodded. "Well they're not just for show. My ears are very sensitive. Your words just now rang clear as a bell in them."
Rito's left eye twitched slightly. "So you can hear me even when I'm trying my best to be quiet?"
"That's right. I can see through you completely." Ryoko winked flirtatiously. "You can't keep any secrets from me."
'Just what I need.' Thought Rito grimly. 'Someone else I can't keep any secrets from.'
"It's getting pretty late," Remarked Ryoko, trying to ease Rito into a more comfortable zone of conversation. "But I really don't want this day to end so soon." And not doing a very good job of it, based on Rito's slightly flustered expression. "What would you say to a movie?" Finally he was calming down.
"A movie?" Parroted Rito curiously. "What did you have in mind?" There was the nervousness again.
"I have a decent selection over there." She replied as she gestured to a large box by the TV. "You can see if you like anything in there."
"Alright." Said Rito, unsure as to what he would find, especially given Ryoko's... less than modest nature. When he got a look at what was in the box, he was vaguely surprised. "'The Man Who Knew Too Much', 'Strangers on a Train', 'Psycho', 'Rear Window'? Why do all the covers on these DVDs look like they were taken with old cameras?"
"Because they were." Explained Ryoko. "I'm a fan of classic movies. Kinda silly, isn't it?" She admitted bashfully.
Rito shook his head. "Not at all. My dad sometimes watches these kind of movies when he needs inspiration for his work. He says that they're more creative than newer ones. I've actually seen a few of the movies you've got in here."
"What does your father do?" Asked Ryoko curiously.
"He's a Manga-ka." Rito replied as he continued to thumb through her movies.
"A Manga-ka?" Ryoko repeated in slight astonishment. "Wait a second... Your father wouldn't happen to be Saibai Yuuki, would he?"
"That's him. Why?" Asked Rito as he finally selected Rear Window.
"OH MY GOD!" Squealed Ryoko, slightly hurting Rito's ears. "Your father is really the famous Saibai Yuuki?"
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Asked Rito as his hearing slowly came back to him.
"The 'big deal' is that your father is my favorite Manga-ka." She said happily. "I can't believe that I'm dating the son of my favorite writer." She sighed dreamily.
Rito's face twitched slightly as he put the movie in. "Why is he your favorite? He writes for Shonen Jump."
"Shonen Jump may be aimed at boys from preteen to teen, but it's women 21 and above who read it the most." She explained as Rito went to join her on the couch. "We have a lot of time on our hands and not much to fill it with."
"I guess that makes sense." He said as he sat down, only to have Ryoko immediately latch onto him. "Ryoko! What are you doing?"
"The man I love is at my house for the weekend, we're watching a movie together, and I just found out he's the son of my favorite writer? Of course I'm going to cuddle with him." She explained as she nestled her head into his shoulder. "I feel like I'm 16 again."
Despite himself, Rito suddenly found himself thinking about her last remark. While he was comfortable enough around her to consider her a friend, though just barely, he'd never really wondered what she was like when she was younger. 'I guess it just never occurred to me to ask her about that. I know she's been on this planet for about three years, and I know she used to be in the mafia, but other than that, all I know about her is what we've been through since she told me she was an alien.' Rito felt weird thinking about it like that, but he didn't quite know why.
'I know she's playful, not very modest, a fan of my dad's manga, has good taste in movies, is a good cook, a great doctor, very proud of her body, is good at just talking with someone for a long time, a hard worker, really attractive... Actually, I know a lot about her. And most of it is stuff I've only learned over our dates. She's... actually a really great person.' Rito suddenly became aware that he was staring at her intently, and that his heart was beating at a mile a minute. 'Wh-What am I thinking? Just watch the movie, Rito! Don't pay attention to Ryoko right now!' He tried to pay attention to the movie, but he couldn't help the occasional sideways glance in Ryoko's direction.
Night - 9:14
"I'm so glad Rito's spending the weekend." Remarked Ryoko happily as she stepped out of the shower. "Even if it doesn't work out... I'm glad I've gotten the chance to get close to him." Her eyes became downcast. "If only Sallem had given me some better advice, for all my bluster, I'm not very used to relationships."
Flashback
"-Absolutely nothing." Continued Sallem playfully from the flashback in chapter 16.
"Nothing?" Parroted a befuddled Ryoko.
"That's right." Confirmed Sallem. "You can't expect me to figure out everything for you, can you? I'm just here to help move things along. If I help too much I won't get any fun out of it, now will I?"
"So you're telling me what to do with my next three dates with him, yet you won't tell me what to do with the final date?" Asked Ryoko. "Seems like a weak effort to me." She goaded.
"Reverse psychology doesn't work on me." Said Sallem, easily seeing through her attempts. "I've helped you enough already. You're gonna have to figure out what to do next on your own. You don't want a marriage built entirely on my matchmaking skills, do you? Imagine how offensive that would be."
"You're thinking pretty far ahead." Observed Ryoko.
"Or perhaps you're not thinking far enough ahead." Rebuked Sallem cryptically. "Now enough of this. I've given you enough hints as it is. You won't be getting anything else outta me." He said coldly as he left.
End Flashback
"Right now I'm just playing it by ear." Observed Ryoko sadly as she put on her bra and panties. "He could have at least given me a hint as to how to completely win him over. This weekend at my house was just a last ditch effort to try and get him to think about life with me as a good thing." Ryoko's eyes suddenly shot open. 'So that's your game, is it?' She realized slyly. 'You just can't help but help people, regardless of what you say. Not to mention that this is perfect for me. It's just sheer coincidence that I did this without figuring it out, but now that I know...' Her thoughts trailed off as she put on her robe and walked out. "Are you ready for bed, Rito?"
"Barely." Rito replied. "I didn't get the chance to bring any of my clothes with me. All I've got is what I woke-up in this morning." He said, referring to the pajamas he hadn't taken the time to change out of this morning. In his defense, Sallem was threatening to throw a chair at his head at the time.
"That's just fine." She said as she grabbed his arm. "I've worn clothes a few days in a row before, all it does is make you self-conscious." She said as she began dragging him upstairs.
"Ryoko, what are you doing?" Asked Rito nervously as she went down the hall where he knew her room was.
"I'm taking you to our bed, silly." She replied as if it should be obvious as she opened her door.
"Our bed!" Exclaimed Rito fearfully. "B-But Ryoko, I can sleep on the couch, or in your infirmary, or on the floor!" He suggested, desperate for a way out of sleeping with her as she forced him into the bed.
"Don't be silly, Rito." She sighed happily as she disrobed and smothered his face into her breasts. "I'm not going to let my lover sleep anywhere but by my side if I can help it." She said as she made herself comfortable.
Rito, on the other hand, was anything but comfortable. True, he was physically comfortable. The bed, blankets, and Ryoko's breasts were all quite soft, and her great muscle mass provided a firm surrounding, after all. Mentally, however...
'This is not good!' Voiced Rito mentally, since he couldn't very well do so physically. 'I'm trapped in her... b-b-breasts, and I can't do anything about it! Why is she doing this to me? She keeps saying that she loves me, and this is how she shows it?... Actually, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. But why does she...' He trailed off when he saw that his face was no longer obscured by bosom. 'What is she...?'
"Rito~." Ryoko sighed sleepily as she nestled her head into the crook of his neck, bosom now pressing up against his stomach instead of his face, arms still wrapped firmly around him.
"Ryoko, what are you..." He trailed off as he realized she was sound asleep. 'She sure nods off fast.' He found it strange that this errant thought would cross his mind first. 'But that aside, I still can't get out of her arms.' He gave struggling one more try, only for Ryoko to squeeze him even harder. 'Okay, not the best idea! She keeps her incredible grip even in her sleep. Then how am I supposed to get out?... I'm going to be stuck all night aren't I?' He realized lamely. 'But if I'm going to be stuck here, I'm at least going to try and focus on something besides Ryoko.' He decided resolutely. 'But what could distract me enough for me to not focus on Ryoko when things are like this?' Almost instantly a possibility came to mind; a conversation he'd had a few days ago. 'Since I'm stuck here, I may as well think about the other... people that Sallem asked me to think about. If I don't do it before he leaves he'll probably torture me in the most horrible ways imaginable.' He shuddered at the thought.
'Let's see... It's obvious he wants to play matchmaker for me, so thinking about Lala and Haruna is pretty much moot at this point.' At least that would make things easier for him. 'Yami wants to kill me; no idea why he would want me to think about that.' He shuddered at the thought, Ryoko squeezed him tighter, letting him know that moving is probably not a good idea. 'Yui... at this point, she's actually one of the few sane people I know; she's always getting angry or upset about all the weird stuff that goes on in her life, she's like a female me.' Rito shuddered again, as the idea of a 'female Rito' brought up some images he'd REALLY rather be without. Ryoko moved her head up to his shoulders, breath on his skin, and pressing her chest up against his in retaliation.
'Oshizu's just a friend. Nana is pretty adamant about my only interest being Lala. Momo is insistent on just the opposite. And Run is obviously interested, but she's too busy with her career right now to focus on much else.' He listed off.
'And Ryoko,' He panicked, unable to distract himself from her any longer. 'She loves me, and she's not afraid to show it in any way possible!' His mind felt like a roller coaster. 'She's shameless, smart, perverted, a good cook, flirtatious, really important.' He stopped suddenly. 'Important? Why would I think about her that way? Yeah, I've really gotten to know her lately, but is that any reason to think she's 'really important'...? It is, isn't it...? I think... I'm... falling for her.' Rito frantically shook his head to get that thought out. In retaliation, Ryoko did something he really wished she hadn't.
She kissed him.
French kissed, to be precise.
Rito didn't know what to do. It was like someone put his brain in a blender and hit mince. As he reluctantly felt her tongue map out his mouth, he couldn't move, he couldn't think, he couldn't do anything until she stopped and his brain started up again.
'I love her.' Rito realized just before passing out.
Morning - The Next Day
As morning came, Rito stirred. As he stirred, he stretched. As he stretched, he felt something big and hard and something big and soft. As he felt something big and hard and something big and soft, he opened his eyes. As he opened his eyes, he saw one of his hands on Ryoko's arm and the other on her breast. As he saw one of his hands on her arm and the other on her breast, he fell off the bed.
'Wh-Wh-What's going on!' Panicked Rito. Suddenly, as a response to his question, the previous day's events flooded back to him. From when Sallem had said 'Rise and shine, Playboystein' right up to his final thoughts of the day 'I love her'. He felt his face heat up as he remembered that. He couldn't believe it. All the effort he'd put into not falling for her down the drain. 'I can't believe she just won me over. In her sleep no less!' He felt a wave of panic as the very woman he'd just fallen for began to stir.
Ryoko yawned groggily as she woke up and stretched her arms high into the air. The very action of which showcased more of her strong, taught, and barely covered body than Rito was comfortable with.
'Even when she's just waking up she's flirting!' He panicked.
When she was done with her stretching, she looked around her, as if searching for something. When she saw Rito, he realized by the pleased and pleasant look on her face it was him she was looking for. "Good morning, love." She said softly as she got out of bed and moved towards him. "How was your sleep?" She asked as she sat down.
Rito, much to his credit, wasn't blushing at all for his personal space being so greatly invaded by this beautiful woman. 'Guess there's not much else she can do to shock me after I realized I have feelings for her.' He thought...
Before she proved him wrong by doing morning stretches on the floor.
"What are you doing?" He asked shakily as he scooted backwards.
"Just working out some kinks." She replied as she continued stretching her leg into the air and back down to her other leg while laying on her side. "They come in a lot earlier in life than you'd like to believe."
"I... I see." Said Rito, even though he really wished he hadn't.
"Soooo~," She yawned as she got into a sitting position. "How was your sleep?" She asked playfully.
"It was... good." He replied, trying not to stare at the barely dressed, strong woman he loved less than a foot away from him.
"Really?" Asked Ryoko, a playful glint in her eyes that Rito would have seen had he been looking at her. "By 'good' do you mean 'good' as in you got to sleep easily, or do you mean," She pounced on him. "'Good' as in you wouldn't mind spending a little more time 'asleep'?" She asked, her words dripping with suggestion and seduction.
"Will you please stop that!" Panicked Rito.
"Of course not." Replied Ryoko easily. "If I'm going to win your heart before this date is over, I'm going to have to go all out."
'If only she knew she already has it.' Thought Rito reluctantly.
"So, what would you like for breakfast today, dear?" She asked.
"Just eggs will do." Replied Rito, knowing that any attempts to get her to stop calling him 'dear' were pointless... And, in all honesty, he actually kinda liked the sound of it, not that he would ever admit it.
Breakfast - 7:23
"So Rito, what do you wanna do today?" Asked Ryoko. "We have the whoooole day to ourselves, and we can do anything you want." She said suggestively.
"I don't want to do anything like that with you." Sighed Rito as he bit into his eggs.
"You don't even know what I have in mind." Rebuked Ryoko playfully.
Rito sighed, unsure of what to do. He knew that he'd have to tell her how he felt before the day was done, but had no idea of how to go about doing it. On the one hand, he could tell her at the end of the day; making sure that she wouldn't try to take it too far before the date was done. On the other hand, he could tell her now; attempting to end all this awkwardness he felt at the moment. As he contemplated his options, he noticed something in the window behind Ryoko...
And nearly choked to death on his eggs.
"Are you alright Rito?" Asked Ryoko, genuinely concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He coughed slightly. "Could you excuse me for a second?" He asked politely.
"Of course." Ryoko replied.
Outside - 7:26
"What are you doing here?" Rito hissed.
"Shouldn't it be obvious by the sign?" Retorted Sallem, who was in his typical, bizarre, mismatched casual clothes, as he pulled up a hologram with the words 'Meet me outside you lovestruck moron' written on it.
"That's just an insulting way of getting my attention." Deadpanned Rito.
"Does the word 'lovestruck' not mean the same on this planet as it does on mine?" Asked Sallem rhetorically. "Come to think of it, it's kinda weird that most of the galaxy speaks the same language, don't ya think?" He asked in befuddlement. "I mean, there's no logical reason whatsoever for planets that have had absolutely no contact with each other for the first several billion years of their existence to have inhabitants who speak the same language as each other, when this planet alone has at least a few hundred languages to its name. And that's not even counting all the made-up languages in this world. Like Klingon, military codes, gang codes, and those weird made-up words little kids come up with." Sallem ranted. "But statistical improbabilities aside, the word 'lovestruck' should be enough of a hint all by itself."
Rito stared at him dumbly for a few seconds, trying to comprehend the pointless rant Sallem had just made. When he finally realized the main point of his words, his face turned a vivid shade of red...
Or not, as Rito just sighed and hung his head instead. "How did you find out?" He asked as silently as possible.
"I was spying on you all day yesterday." Sallem replied bluntly.
"You were spying on me?" Asked Rito accusingly.
"What? You're gonna get mad about it now, when things would've been much worse if I hadn't?" Asked Sallem bitterly, prompting Rito to stare at him in a 'What-are-you-talking-about' look. "Momo came here late last night." He said, as if it would explain everything, but Rito just kept staring at him oddly, so Sallem decided to elaborate further. "You know how perverted Momo is, right?" Rito nodded. "And you know she has access to several plants throughout the galaxy, right?" Rito nodded again. "Do you know what the right or wrong plants can do to someone's sex drive?" Rito though about this for a moment, before his face changed to the very nice shade of 'I-really-don't-like-where-this-talk-is-going' red. "That's right. Momo was trying to get you and Ryoko to have sex. And if it weren't for my timely intervention, she would've made it happen." He wisely decided to leave out that enough spores got to them to make them both more comfortable with their emotions before he decided to intervene.
Rito gulped nervously, grateful that Sallem had managed to prevent something very irreparable from taking place. "Thank you." Was all he could think to say.
"Don't mention it." Replied Sallem with a painful slap to Rito's back. "I've also decided to take measures to prevent something like this from happening again."
"What did you do?" Asked Rito curiously.
Sallem blinked at him dully once, twice, then three times, recalling his 'measures'.
Flashback
"Why are you doing this to meeee~?" Wailed Momo. "I thought we had a deaaaal~!"
"Shut-up worm, you're scaring the fish." Replied Sallem as he adjusted his fishing pole.
"I was just trying to get them together fasteeeeer~!" She moaned. "That way everyone else could ge-ee-eeet~ with Rito fasteeeer~!"
"These things need to be done at a certain rate, in a certain way." Sallem Rebuked. "Having sex so early on in the formation of a harem runs the risk of everything ending up like School Days." He said in a tone that clearly showed how disgusted he was with the prospect. "Now get back to being tortured, that vibrating ring locked around your tail still has another two hours of power." He said as he released the fishing line she was tied to into the piranha tank.
Momo's violent thrashing quickly attracted the voracious fishes before Sallem reeled her in at the last second. "Will you stop tha-a-aaaaat~! OH GOD~!" She wailed and sputtered.
"Hold on a sec," Remarked Sallem easily as he threw her into another tank. "If you're gonna have an orgasm do it in the shark tank. Those dogfish need the scent of blood before they go into a feeding frenzy."
Things went on like this for another hour, Sallem happily whistling one merry sea shanty after another all the while. After which, Sallem got bored and threatened Momo that if she ever told anyone what happened, he'd just erase their memories, and make the next round of torture even worse.
End Flashback
"I ratted Momo out to her dad and he handled the punishment." Lied Sallem easily. "And don't worry, I stayed as vague as I could when it came to the circumstances surrounding what had happened."
"Thanks." Sighed Rito, easily falling for the lie. "But how did you find out about..." He searched for the right words. "How I feel for Ryoko?"
Sallem didn't say anything, instead giving him a look of pure contempt and disappointment, as if he saw Rito as the lowest form of life. Or at least, that's what Sallem hoped the he saw, but he knew much better than to assume that Rito was that observant yet. Otherwise he wouldn't have to be bothered to spend so much time on this planet. But still, Lala was an old friend of his, and as such, he would help her achieve her happiness whenever necessary.
"Oh, right." Realized Rito in embarrassment. "You can tell what someone's thinking just by looking at them."
"Well, well." Remarked Sallem in mild amusement. "It would seem that he can be taught. It just takes a few lessons." He remarked with a grin as he twisted Rito's neck 180 degrees.
"OW! OW! OW! OW!" Panicked Rito as he twisted his neck back to normal. "How did I survive that?" He wondered thankfully.
"You're very used to taking serious punishment." Remarked Sallem. "Your beatings from Yami, the side-effects, explosions, and other mishaps from Lala's inventions, and several other miscellaneous beatings from various other women." He listed sadistically. "I also held back by only turning your head half as far as I truly desired."
Rito gulped nervously. He knew that he should be at least somewhat used to Sallem's harsh words and sporadic sadistic punishments by now, but he had a way of always twisting that knife to make these things hurt more. He also knew better than to rat him out, since he was usually only like this before he'd taken his medication, and was likely capable of much worse if he put his mind to it.
"At any rate," Began Sallem. "Now that you've admitted your feelings for Ryoko to yourself, all that's left to do is convey your feelings to the woman herself." His face suddenly split into a massive grin. "And if you don't, you can expect repercussions for your stupidity." He said darkly, before walking away chuckling.
"I think it might be best if I got my confession done now." Gulped Rito fearfully.
Inside - 7:33
"Welcome back Rito," Greeted Ryoko as her date walked back inside. "What were you doing?"
Rito froze. He'd been so worried about how to convey his feelings, he'd completely forgotten that he'd walked out in the middle of breakfast. "I... had to think a few things over." He lied quickly.
"And exactly what were you thinking about that made you leave the house?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.
Rito froze again. She had him backed into a corner, and she obviously knew it! Rito panicked for a few seconds, trying to figure out a way to get out of this mess. However, he quickly realized that, short of the truth, which he certainly was not going to tell her about, under possible threat of torture, there was only one way out of this bind. "I... was thinking about our... relationship." He admitted, Ryoko suddenly took greater interest. "I... thought about all the... dates we've been on so far." Ryoko leaned in closer. Rito stopped suddenly, worried about his next move. He was concerned that the declaration that he held feelings for not one, not two, but three women, would make him... What? A playboy? A polygamist? Why did those words seem so wrong? So insulting? Was it because this was how he felt and it didn't feel right to be judged like this?
That suddenly struck a chord in Rito. This was how he felt, and it wasn't right to judge him because of this. He loved three women, and, quite frankly, he really didn't feel like being bothered by something like normalcy in a situation like this. His life was already far, far, far from normal at this point, so what did it matter if something like this happened. Lala and Ryoko have already said they were okay with the idea, and Lala's been convincing Haruna about the idea since Sallem arrived, so the only thing holding him back was his own uncertainty. He was still rather uncomfortable with the idea of polygamy, but with his feelings the way they were, walking down this path was unavoidable.
Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he said, as calmly as he could. "I love you Ryoko." Instantly, all his nerves were shot, and he couldn't stop his next words. "B-But I also love Haruna and Lala, so-" Rito suddenly stopped when he heard Ryoko chuckling. "Why are you laughing?" He asked uncomfortably.
Ryoko slowed her chuckling to a halt and quickly gathered herself. "I'm just so happy right now." She explained. "That, and you seem to be forgetting two vital facts." Rito looked confused. "One, I'm perfectly fine with polygamy. I'll probably even like having so many sister-wives around me. And two, my hearing is very good." She finished, showing her ears again.
Now Rito looked really confused. "What does your hearing have to do with anything?"
Ryoko chuckled again. "I heard what happened outside."
Rito suddenly paled. "You heard that?" Ryoko nodded. "All of it?" Ryoko nodded again.
"Part of me actually wishes Sallem hadn't stopped Momo in time." Ryoko said with a sultry look in her eyes as she leaned in and pressed herself against Rito. "I would've really liked to have some fun with you."
Rito was shaking nervously. He had not expected Ryoko to hear everything that had happened outside, and he had certainly not expected her to start acting like this, though in hindsight, he probably should have. Suddenly, Ryoko backed off.
"Don't worry so much Rito." She reassured. "Right now I'm just happy to know that you love me. Everything else can wait until later."
Rito just blinked a few times while fighting back his prominent blush. "So... what now?"
"Now?" Parroted Ryoko. "Now we have the whole day to ourselves, so let's enjoy it. Tomorrow, you can confess to Haruna."
"C-Confess to Haruna!" Panicked Rito.
"Don't be so worried Rito," Ryoko calmed him. "You confessed to Lala, you confessed to me, you can confess to Haruna. And you might wanna do it soon, before Sallem starts working on setting you up with someone else." She explained.
Rito blinked dumbly a few times, having a hard time understanding the situation. "What?" He said, voicing all his questions at once.
"Rito, who do you think helped me win you over?" She asked/answered. "He's not the kind of person to wait very long before moving from an old project on to a new one. Namely, getting you with more girls."
Rito quickly understood what she meant by that, and quickly gathered his wits about him. "I'm sorry Ryoko! I've gotta go!" He started to run off, until Ryoko grabbed him by his arm and pressed the back of his head into her enormous bosom, holding onto him and not letting go.
"You're not going anywhere." She scolded playfully. "Confessing to Haruna can wait just one more day. Right now, you're on a weekend date with me, and even though you've already said you love me, I'm still squeezing all I can out of this weekend."
Rito sighed. Ryoko had figured out his plans, and rebuked them almost instantly, at least for the time being. 'Oh well,' Thought Rito. 'I guess I'm stuck here until tomorrow. Besides, it would be kinda weird for me to show-up at Haruna's house and confess to her there, especially if her sister is anything like I've heard.'
School - The Next Day
"Hey, Rito!" Exclaimed Sallem happily. "How was your weekend, buddy?"
"Like you don't know." Replied Rito somewhat bitterly.
"Like I don't know what?" Sallem asked. Playing dumb.
"You played matchmaker for me and Ryoko." Rito accused.
"I only told her to be true to herself." Replied Sallem. Half true, he knew Ryoko well enough to know that everything he suggested was something she was likely to do, regardless of what he said. He just advised her on which course of action would be best. A love built on lies wouldn't last, after all. "And besides, you've gained a beautiful woman for your harem, haven't you? Not to mention that you seem to be more open to the idea."
"Stop reading my mind." Rito muttered halfheartedly, finally understanding that it was pointless to press the matter further. It wasn't as if his expression reading talents could cause him as much harm as his sadistic habits or Lala's inventions. "Anyway, I'm still not sure about this." Sallem gave him an obviously disappointed look. "Don't look at me like that. Most of the galaxy may think polygamy is okay, but this is Earth, where polygamy isn't allowed, and I was raised here."
"Rito, let me explain something to you." Began Sallem. "There are many different kinds of groups on this planet, and they all have their own policies. Why do you think I like this planet so much?" He asked. "It's because there are so many different ways of living all rolled into one race! Most other species in the galaxy are monocultures with a serious lack of diversity. This planet is like the mixed nuts can of the galaxy!" Suddenly, before anything else could be said, the bell rang. "There's the bell! Gotta go to class!"
After School
"HEY RITO!" Shouted Sallem from right behind Rito, making him jump three feet in the air.
"Do you have to do that?" Rito asked, trying to get his pulse back to normal.
"I guess you have a point." Remarked Sallem. "You seem fine with the idea of polygamy, so there's not really much reason for me to train you to love it anymore."
Rito stared at him uncertainly for a few second. "Wait, was all the torture you put me through all part of your weird way of making me okay with polygamy?" He asked accusingly.
"Of course." Responded Sallem easily, causing Rito to fall on his face in shock. "Don't hate me too much for it. It's just that, based on what your friends have said, you seem to respond well to pain and threats. It's actually the best way to get you to see truths about yourself you wouldn't normally based on my understanding." Sallem hummed this information over for a second. "If I had to sum up your personality in one word... it would be... Whipped!" He proclaimed happily.
"That's not a good thing!" Rito exclaimed.
"Or..." Sallem continued, unhindered. "If you'd like me to sum you up in a four word, more polite term... it would be... High-Quality-Husband-Material!" He proclaimed happily.
"High quality what?" Rito asked, almost certain he'd heard wrong.
"Rito, there's a saying," Began Sallem. "'A lonely lion, or a happy bunny.' It basically means that you can be happily married with one or more spouses who will occasionally cause you some stress. Or a total loner with no one by your side. Which would you prefer?"
Much to Sallem's surprise, Rito actually seemed to be taking time to think this over, instead of blurting out the first complaint with the idea that could come to mind.
'Guess I'm really having an impact on the boy.' Thought Sallem happily. 'He certainly needs a good push in the right direction. I'm glad I found him when I did.'
"What about you?" Asked Rito.
"Oro?" Quirked Sallem.
"You're married to three women, and I've never seen you have any trouble with any of them." Pointed out Rito. "Not even Karasuba, and she really scares me." He shuddered.
"That's because you only see their 'public' faces." Uttered Sallem glumly. "Karasuba, I can always deal with easily, but that's only because she has yet to learn how to use the fact that she's a woman as a weapon. Benitsubasa and Haihane, however..." He trailed off for a few seconds. "Well, let's just say that they have me jumping through hoops for them every other day. It's somewhat tiring, but it's what works for us."
"You sound like you've got it rough." Said Rito sympathetically.
"To some extent," Replied Sallem. "But like I said, it's what works for us."
"If you say so..." Replied Rito uncertainly, before remembering what he'd resolved to do today. "I gotta go... do something." He excused himself before running off.
"Alright then," Sallem shrugged nonchalantly. "You go do your... something."
Three Minutes Later
'I-It's Haruna!' Thought Rito as he saw her reading on a bench just outside of school. After excusing himself, he'd gone to look for her. He'd resolved yesterday morning to confess to her, try to explain everything, and hope for the best. 'This is it! I'm going to confess! I'm going to tell her what I've felt for years now... and then I'm going to tell her that I'm torn between her and two other girls, and that if she wants to return my feelings, she'll probably have to share me with them.' Rito sighed at how pathetic that sounded, but he was resolved to tell her nonetheless. He walked up to her, first slowly and jittery, but he quickly worked up the nerve to walk normally.
"Haruna." Rito began.
"Rito?" She replied as she turned up from her book.
"H-Haruna. For the longest time now... I... I." Haruna looked at him curiously. "I love you!" He exclaimed while bowing.
'This is it!' Thought Rito. 'I've finally said it! I've finally told her how I feel! But before I can do anything else, right now I have to explain everything else to her.' He thought as he got up from his bow.
What he saw.
Wasn't what he thought he would.
Where he thought was Haruna.
Was actually...
Yami.
Rito nearly wet his pants.
At first, they were both silent; neither one moving an inch.
After a few seconds...
"Rito Yuuki." Quietly seethed a furiously blushing Yami as her hair turned into blades, fists, and dragon heads.
Rito took that as his cue to run screaming.