Chapter 57

Garth was back first thing in the morning, carrying a huge bag of donuts. "A Hunter's breakfast, for everyone." He declared as he put the bag down on the kitchen table. The three women already sitting at the table stared at him like he was crazy. Charlie even said, "Are you crazy? Do you know how bad those things are for you?" Garth shrugged his shoulders and took another bite of the glazed one he was eating as he had come through the door. Jodie and Charlie smiled at each other and then ripped open the bag and grabbed their favorites. After the younger women had chosen and were savoring the still warm treats, Missouri calmly picked up a jelly-filled one and hummed as she took her first bite.

As Sam came through the door, he exclaimed, "I thought I smelled donuts. And Coffee!" He added, as he headed to the coffee-maker on the counter.

The women sat quietly, exchanging glances and smiling. Missouri's house may be fairly large but the walls weren't sound-proofed and some sounds just can't be mistaken in a quiet house in the middle-of-the-night.

"Jesus, Sam. You look like hammered crap." Garth said, not being aware of Sam's late night activities. After Sam turned back to the table with his filled coffee mug, the skinny hunter added. "Didn't you get any sleep at all?"

An embarrassed silence fell over the room. Just then, Amelia joined them in the kitchen, looking remarkably as exhausted as Sam. Garth looked from Amelia to Sam to the ladies at the table. "Oh." He said, blushing slightly.

"We got a couple hours this morning, thank you for asking, Garth." Amelia said as she kissed him on the cheek and headed for the donuts. "We're sorry if we kept anybody else awake last night."

Another awkward silence fell over the room, until Jodie announced, "I call first shower." And jumped up from the table and headed for the bathroom.

X

By noon, everybody had cleaned up and dressed. Jodie had left first, after they had all discussed the plans for the next few days, because she had a seven hour drive back to Sioux Falls. She left, saying she would be back in three days. Charlie and Garth both headed out, also saying they'd return a day before the ritual to help make sure everything was ready.

Sam briefly thought about getting the Impala out of storage, to make the run to Madison and back. Dean would want his baby once he got back. But it was 10 hours to go pick up the stored donations, and another long day back. They needed to make good time, and stay under both law-enforcement and supernatural radars. He actually found himself smiling as he put the last of their gear in the car. Sam would never admit it to his brother, but the fuel-efficient SUV was both comfortable and practical.

Amelia accepted the small cooler of food that Missouri had packed, and headed to the car. Sam called to her to 'not to put it next to the other cooler with Cassie and Evan's fluids'. The goddess surprised both Sam and Missouri by demonstrating her knowledge of current, cultural mannerisms; and flipped Sam off, as she walked around the corner of the house to the car.

Missouri and Sam just stood for a second; then Sam pulled the psychic in for a hug. "Don't worry. Whatever it is, it will wait until she's ready to tell me." With that, he released the older woman and jogged around the corner and out of sight.

"I know; I just hope you'll be ready to hear it." And Missouri went back inside to clean up after having four extra people stay in her house; and to get ready for them all to be back in three days.

X

"You never said what you thought about Dean, after we were able to contact him." Sam said after they had made it through Kansas City and were heading north on the I-35. "And it just dawned on me; I never thanked you for yesterday."

"Actually, I kind of think you did; for quite a while last night." Amelia replied, and Sam turned just in time to see a smirk that looked like it had been transplanted from his brother's face.

Sam smiled before replying, "Well, in that case; you're welcome." He reached across and took her hand and kissed it gently. "You also didn't answer my question. Dean, any thoughts?"

"How did he sound to you, you're the one who knows him." Amelia responded, 'sounding kind of like a shrink' Sam thought.

"What's a shrink?" She asked with a perplexed expression on her face.

X

They talked about Amelia's impressions of Dean; frequently laughing as Sam regaled her with stories of their prank wars. They talked about what Dean had said about not having a calendar; and wondered how time passed in Purgatory; did it have days and nights, and whether Dean would be able to know when sunrise was approaching? They talked about breaching the seal in Bootback; did they take too long, and did anyone or anything else hear the conversation?

They made observations on the beautiful countryside; the performance of the SUV, and Sam shared the history and importance of the Impala; anything to avoid talking about the next few days and/or what Amelia was holding in.

Five hours later they were approaching Ames, Iowa and decided to stop, stretch their legs and eat the meal Missouri had sent with them. It was beautiful late afternoon, and Sam got far enough off the interstate that they couldn't hear the drone of the tires on the pavement. After talking for so long, they sat in silence, eating the leftovers their friend had given them.

"For the first time, since Dean was sucked into Purgatory, I feel good, you know, hopeful." Sam finally broke the silence.

Amelia didn't reply; instead she jumped up, ran to the nearest tree and rapped on it three times. Sam had quickly gotten up and followed her. "Amelia, what the hell! Are you okay?"

As he was talking, Amelia had turned around three times, counter clock-wise, and then stopped and spit on the ground three times. Sam was standing there, thinking she had either lost her mind, or was possessed. Just as suddenly she stopped her bizarre behaviors and started laughing. "Just breaking the jinx." She gasped out while trying to regain her breath. "Gotcha!" She said as she poked him in the chest and ran back toward the blanket they had spread out to eat.

Despite her head start, Sam's long legs allowed him to catch up to her as she reached the edge of the blanket. Just as he was about to wrap her in his long arms she stopped and turned to face him. Unable to stop his forward momentum, Sam pulled Amelia protectively against him as they fell to the soft grass and rolled a couple of times. When they stopped she was laying on top of him, grinning like an idiot.

"Are you insane?" Sam asked, his adrenaline still pumping after thinking Amelia was in trouble; but also, not releasing her, as a different set of hormones started to affect him.

Amelia's grin turned to a wistful smile as she lowered her head and kissed him. "Actually, I think I was channeling your brother; remembering your prank stories."

Sam smiled at the mention of his brother and their pranks and rough-housing; but remembering his brother completely extinguished the fire that had been starting. He let go of Amelia and rolled her off him; and they lay there catching their breaths.

"You know, it will be almost midnight by the time we get to Madison." Sam paused, as he rolled on his side, facing her, and propped his head on his hand. "I know the storage place we picked has 24 hour access; but, I'm thinking we get a room, and some sleep, and pickup the fluids first thing in the morning; then start the drive back fresh."

"Uh huh." She replied, with a distracted, far-away look on her face. Images of their previous love-making started flowing into his head.

Sam didn't know if Amelia was deliberately trying to get him succumb to their arousal, or if her desire was causing her to broadcast the images without intending to. Either way, they had to get back on the road; and that if he lay there much longer, he wouldn't be able to resist her. He snapped his fingers in her face a couple of times, as he called her name. "Amelia! Focus here." He got up off the blanket and held his hand down to help her up.

She looked up at him with a slightly dazed and disappointed look, but she took his hand. They packed up their gear and headed back to the car. They loaded the car and headed back to the interstate without saying a word to each other; both preoccupied with their own thoughts.

"That wasn't fair." Sam said after they were flowing along with the traffic again. He wasn't angry, not really. But, there had to be some boundaries. Amelia had his heart and soul; she had to let him keep a little bit of his mind to himself.

She didn't answer him for a couple of seconds, but then said. "I know. I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional. I seem to be having a hard time controlling some of my returning powers." She paused, and Sam was sure he heard fear in her voice.

"It's not so much fear, as worry." And she smiled and shrugged her shoulders, as an apology for reading his thought. "But, it's your fault, you know."

"What!" Sam replied, surprised.

"The thing I've been not telling you, the deep, dark secret; I was going to try to stay. You, because of the way you make me feel, for the first time ever, you have given me a strength, a belief in myself, a courage…. " She paused remembering The One had called it faith. "I was going to fight, do whatever it took to not go back."

Sam gripped the steering wheel tightly, stunned and glad there wasn't much traffic, as he turned and stared at Amelia. "You can do that?"

"I don't know; but I was going to try." She replied quietly.

"Was?" Sam asked, confused. "I don't understand."

Amelia smiled sadly. "I saw myself staying, with you; and a long and happy future together."

"Yeah. Sounds good to me." Sam smiled.

He turned to look at her when she didn't say anything. She turned to look at him; and the only thing he could think of was a line from The Princess Bride. The movie had described Wesley's cry as 'the sound of ultimate suffering'; now he knew what that looked like. It was on his lover's face.

X

Sam pulled back off the interstate at the first exit he saw. He had spent most of life multi-tasking while driving; but this, whatever 'this' was, needed his undivided attention. He stopped the car on the shoulder of the ramp and turned off the ignition. And waited, waited until Amelia could find the words to express the pain he saw on her face.

"Sam, I can't stay in this body. It wouldn't be fair to her." She finally said very quietly. She turned and saw the confused expression on his face. "To Amelia, the real Amelia; the vessel."

Mother Nature may be in Amelia's body by invitation and the young woman may have given her permission to use it anyway she desired; but it had always been meant as a loan. Sam's memories of the two times his body had been used as a vessel, by Meg and Lucifer, flooded his thoughts. Even though he had given Lucifer permission, it had been as a means to an end, aborting the apocalypse. The violation he had felt when the demon and the fallen angel had used him to do unfathomably evil things still pained him deeply. He knew she would never allow her vessel to feel that kind of violation.

As much as he wanted to argue, to convince ….'Amelia', oh hell, even now he couldn't think of her as Mother Nature. The last few days and nights of lovingly whispering that name as they lay wrapped in each other's arms….; she would always be his Amelia. He was suddenly so confused, not knowing what to call her. But, if he was confused as to what name to call her; he wasn't at all confused about how this would turn out. It was one of the first things she had told him; that she was here in a loaned body, and that the expiration date on that loan was signed and sealed.

Sam looked at the face that meant so much to him now, and understood the pain he had seen there. The goddess within, his Amelia, wanted to stay with him, and she seemed to think it might be possible; but she had made a commitment, a sacred promise, to the acolyte, the real Amelia. He may not know everything about the being in front of him; but, he knew she would never betray the owner of the body she was currently occupying.

"You're wrong." Amelia finally spoke again. "The despair you saw is not for me. It's for what I've done to you. I stupidly got caught up in the emotions you woke in me, and I let us forget there was no future for us. I let you think our happy ending was anything more than saving your brother."

ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo oooooooooo

Oops, sorry for another delay. I've now discovered the symptoms of a nasty cold include the inability to put words together in an intelligent fashion.