The Monday Morning After The Previous Chapter

Rito was having another off day today, or rather, he was having what has long since become a typical day for him, which to most would be an off day. However, in this case he was having an especially off day.

Firstly, Yami - formerly the assassin after his life, now the newest addition to his harem - had kindly informed him that she would be enrolling in his class today. Rito wasn't 100% sure, but he knew that there was a good chance that Sallem was behind it. He wasn't against this by any means, but it would no doubt make his already complicated life even more so. And second, Sallem had been so kind as to inform him, once again, that he would be setting Rito up with Yui next. Normally this would be nothing new, however given that Yui was present at the time...

"Are you out of your mind?!" Shouted Yui at Sallem.

"Are you seriously just asking this question now?" Chuckled Sallem rhetorically. "Or did you actually ask this - or at least something akin to it - at some point before, and I just forgot? It's funny, I'm a super genius among super geniuses, yet my memory is terrible. But anyway, what do you say?"

"I say that you're crazy!" Yui accused as she slapped Sallem in the face with all her might, only to hurt her hand in the process. "What are you made of?" She asked as she rubbed her sore palm.

"A multitude of various parts and materials," Retorted Sallem. "Many of which are of a much higher level of hardness and durability than any substance on Earth. Not to mention that a lot of my cybernetic enhancements are pretty expensive too, but with my massive income it's just pennies, really! Yohohohohoho! That's the smallest form of American currency by the way."

"I know what pennies are," Glared Yui indignantly. "After all, I actually care about schoolwork, unlike you. And if you're so rich, why are you even attending this school anyway, instead of running this business of yours?"

"Four reasons, really." Began Sallem as he held up a finger. "One, Lala's an old friend, and I felt like helping her out a bit while I was here. And don't bother asking what the correlation between this and that is, because I won't tell you."

"If she's really your old friend here, then why are you helping this handsome pervert get his way?!" Asked Yui firmly, before she realized what she just said and broke out in a majorly epic blush. "Wh-Wh-Why did I just say that?" She panicked.

"So I'm... handsome and a pervert?" Muttered Rito in confusion as he tried to process what Yui had just said about him.

"Second, I like playing matchmaker, but I frequently let things get kinda outta hand." Smiled Sallem as he held up two fingers, ignoring Yui's question.

"What part of a harem is getting 'kinda outta hand'?" Retorted Yui.

"What part of it isn't?" Joked Sallem before putting up three fingers. "Three, I really wanna catch the ghost possessing Rito for my portrait collection."

Shuddering as he recalled all the stuff said ghost had apparently put him through in the past, Rito gulped. "I would be very grateful if you got rid of this thing already." He admitted

"Right." Shivered Yui, who could swear that she saw something floating behind Rito for a brief moment. "Something like that... can't be allowed on school grounds, and really needs to be taken care of already. So get to it."

"Love to. Can't." Denied Sallem dejectedly. "As I may have mentioned before, that thing is firmly rooted into Rito, and the only way to get it out is to get it to expose its weak point."

"Weak point?" Repeated Yui curiously. "Well then get it to expose the thing and be done with it."

"That's what I'm trying to do here." Sighed Sallem. "Honestly, do people never listen? What did I say that the ghost was after?"

"Er... I... can't really remember." Admitted Yui, who had been too outraged at the time to really remember much of what had been said.

"I remember." Muttered Rito reluctantly. "Drawing women to me to regain its energy."

"Women..." Gaped Yui nervously, before turning a furious glare and pointer finger at Sallem. "Do you really think that I'd ever submit myself to anything like that?!"

"You act as though you have a choice in the matter." Sallem remarked callously. "This ghost draws strength from Rito's suffering, and the only way it can do that, is with women. Ergo, the only way to stop and catch it, is by making Rito happy and enthusiastic with his harem."

"Then find some other girls for the job." Insisted Yui, a bit calmer but still adamant. "If you're really so good at this, then you should be able to find someone who'd actually want to share someone like him." She figured as she pointed an accusatory finger at Rito.

"Why do I get the feeling that she barely even knows I'm here?" Sighed Rito.

"Why do I get the feeling that the main problem we have here is that you want Rito all to yourself, Yui?" Smirked Sallem knowingly.

"Sh-Shut up!" Demanded Yui, her face getting redder and redder. "Why should I have to share him? I mean, why should I want him in the first place? So what if he's handsome, and kindhearted, and compassionate, and has a big heart, and is so... so... Why can't I stop talking?!" She panicked as both she and Rito blushed madly at her words.

"Ummm, Yui..." Began an embarrassed Rito. "Is there... something you may want to say to me?"

"I-I-I, well um, that is to say..." Yui stammered furiously as she flailed her arms about in a panic.

"Yohohohohoho!" Burst out Sallem, rolling on the floor laughing. "I'm so sorry, but this is just too funny! It's not everyday that you see the truest inner thoughts of a tsundere straight from the horses mouth! I just can't help but laugh!"

"Stop laughing at me!" Demanded Yui angrily, red still all over her face. "Don't call me a tsundere! I'm still a girl, and can fall in love just like anyone else!"

"What was that?" Asked Rito, suddenly at complete attention. "What did you just say, Yui?"

"What did I just... say?" Repeated Yui as she realized that she had once again spoken without thinking. Once she realized what she'd just said, she quickly averted her gaze from Rito. "I... well what I mean to say is... you and I are..." Growling in her frustration over her inability to just spit it out, she turned to Rito and barked. "Why is it so hard for me to just say that... why are you wearing a suit?" Her tone changed to confusion just as it was about to get good.

"Why am I wearing a...?" Trailed off Rito as he looked down, and saw that he did indeed have a suit on. "Where did this come from?" He asked of no one in particular, as he caught sight of Yui, another question formed in his mind. "And why are you wearing an apron?"

"What?!" Panicked Yui as she quickly looked down, fearing that, in all this insanity, she had somehow been put in nothing but an apron, and found that she was thankfully wearing clothes under the apron she was suddenly wearing. "How in the world did this get here?" She asked herself as she curiously thumbed at the apron she was now wearing.

"For that matter, where are we?" Wondered Rito as he looked around, seeing that he was in a kitchen that was easily the size of his house.

"We're at the Deviluke Royal Palace, dear." Yawned a sleepy Ryoko as she came into the room, wearing nothing but black lingerie and a lab coat.

"Ryoko!" Panicked Rito as he tried to look anywhere but the scantily clad amazon that had just walked in. "What are you doing here? Wait a second? Did you just say that we're at the Deviluke Royal Palace?"

"Did I rock your world a little too much last night, Rito dear?" Said Ryoko slyly as she pressed a protesting Rito's head into her titanic bosom. "Maybe we should all go back to taking turns, instead of all at once."

"Mikado-sensei!" Outburst Yui, who'd finally found her voice again. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Oh, did you want to have some fun too Yui?" Asked Ryoko as she grabbed Yui's hand and pulled her into a big and erotic hug with her and Rito, his face in both of their pillows. "And what's with that whole Mikado-sensei stuff? We've been sister-wives for six years and you're suddenly calling me sensei again? We usually save talk like that for the bedroom."

Yui held her head in her hands for several seconds, trying to take this all in. "Sister-wives... Six years... Bedroom." Her face was getting redder with every passing second, until something completely obvious finally occurred to her. "I'm dreaming." She realized as she playfully bopped herself on the forehead. "Why didn't I realize this all sooner? It was so obvious!" Struck by how crazy, unreal, and comical this all suddenly seemed, Yui burst out laughing. "I can't believe it! I'm having a dream! About being in a harem! And not just any harem, but Rito's harem! Hahahahahaha!"

"Yui?" Asked Ryoko as she let go of Rito and Yui. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Insisted Yui as she continued to laugh. "It's just that, this is all so hilarious!"

"What's hilarious?" Asked a familiar voice.

"Yami-chan!" Cried out Yui, who still laughing about the whole ordeal. "Let me guess, you're part of Rito's harem too?"

Yami still looked the same as ever, which clued Yui even further into the fact that this was a dream and not some vision of the future. Regarding Yui carefully, Yami nodded. "Technically I am, but I was unaware you were as well."

"I'm not, I'm not." Denied Yui happily, glad to see a major inconsistency in this dream, proving even more so what it was. "I mean, don't get me wrong. Truth be told, I'd secretly kinda like to be with Rito, but only if he was only with me." Having decided that this was nothing more than a dream, Yui decided that she could be completely honest here.

"Yui!" Gasped Rito in shock. "Do... do you seriously mean that?"

Jumping bolt upright at Rito's shock, Yui turned to look at Rito. The man she would only admit in her dreams her true feelings for. But just because she would only admit it in her dreams, doesn't mean the dream confessions came easy by any means. "Well... I wouldn't go so far as to say that I love you or anything..." She said sheepishly. "But to go out with you... I really wouldn't mind." She could see out of the corner of her eyes that Yami was looking at her strangely, Ryoko was looking at her mischievously, and right in front of her, Rito was completely red faced at the sudden confession.

Kotegawa Residence - Monday Morning

*RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG* Went Yui's alarm clock, rousing her from her crazy dream all at once. Shutting off the alarm, Yui promptly set about getting ready for her day.

'What a strange dream.' Though Yui as she took off her pajama top, exposing her bra to no one but the air. 'It's not like it's the first time I've had dreams about Rito and I - Not like that! - I mean, I'm still a girl, and I know that dreams with... a decent guy... are perfectly natural for people in my age group, but this time was really hectic.' Sighing as she stripped off her pajama pants and got out her school clothes, Yui said to herself. "That's the last time I eat leftover potato salad right before bed."

As she got dressed for the day, Yui looked back on the dream, and many others she's had in the past. Yes, she'll admit in private to having many a dream about Rito. Yes, she'll admit in private that she knows he's a more decent person than circumstances may make it seem. And yes, she'll admit in private that that she may, possibly, no guarantee, might, just might, have a bit of a crush on Rito, but that was all completely irrelevant. The fact of the matter was, recent events have shown her that Rito, possibly through no fault of his own other than his personal feelings, is a playboy.

"Seriously," Huffed Yui as she finished getting dressed. "Even if Sallem's the one setting him up, Rito's still become such a playboy." Her voice suddenly got a lot quieter as she looked downcast. "I mean, I'll admit it, if he didn't obviously already have feelings for so many other girls, I'd consider it. But I am not about to cast aside my pride as an independent, intelligent, and dependable woman for some despicable playboy!"

Yuuki Residence - Monday Morning

Mumbling slightly as he stirred from his sleep, Rito got up with a groggy yawn and a still tired look in his eyes.

"What a strange dream I had last night." He grumbled as he stretched out the kinks in his joints. "I swear I couldn't have had a weirder dream if someone had planned it." In his half asleep state it took him a few seconds to think over the implication of what he'd just said, and when he realized what likely happened, he felt like someone had just splashed him with a bucket of freezing cold water. "SALLEM!" He shouted.

"What? Who? When? Where? Why? How?" Said Sallem rapidly as he popped up from the covers of Rito's bed, causing Rito himself to fall out of said bed.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" Panicked Rito as he frantically checked his clothes, hoping that there was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hey Narrator!" Barked Sallem at me rudely. "Stop giving people the wrong idea you ass!"

"Wait a second!" Interrupted Rito. "Who are you talking to, and why were you in my bed?!"

"Rito, this isn't what I need to hear first thing in th-" Complained a groggy Mikan, before she suddenly stopped at the semi-familiar sight of Rito on the floor, and someone else in his bed. Except this time, it wasn't a bare-chested girl, but a bare chested boy.

"Enough with those homo quips Narrator!" Shouted Sallem as a blush rapidly rushed across Mikan's face. "I'm straight, and damn proud of it! And at least I'm wearing pants! There, I've established that as fact! So stop ragging on me, and start doing your job right!" Spoilsport.

Meanwhile, as Sallem was yelling at me again, Rito was panicking. "Wait a second Mikan! I know you've always jumped to the wrong conclusion before, but this time you have to believe me! This really, really, really isn't what it looks like!" Mikan however, had gone into a total daze, and began seeing several images of boys love, BL, Yaoi, whatever you call it, flash befo-

"Knock it off Mr. Narrator." Complained Sallem. "Not only are you giving people ideas, but you're making Mikan look like some kinda pervert." He defends her, even though she has nasty fantasies about her own brother. "Well okay, I'll give you that one at least. The girl definitely does have some issues." He remarks as he pulls out his remote and teleports away.

On the way to school - With Rito, Sallem, and Lala

"Really?! The next target is Yui?!" Lala asked Sallem excitedly.

"That's right Lala-chan!" Confirmed Sallem cheerfully, his tail wagging excitedly. "Now that I've got Ryoko and Yami done with, I can finally get to work on the really hard ones."

"Enough with this." Rito sighed tiredly, not ready to deal with this first thing in the morning, especially after the weird dream Sallem gave him. "Lala, you know what Sallem's up to, and yet it's not bothering you in the slightest. How many times do I have to say that ideas like these are really bad?"

"But you've already fallen in love with so many people, it's really fun watching Sallem help you add more people to our growing family." Pointed out Lala happily.

"And that's another thing that's been on my mind for a while," Remembered Rito as he straightened up. "Lala, I know that you're an alien and all, but don't you have any negative feelings about what Sallem's doing?" He asked. "Honestly, the guy has no morals at all." He mumbled under his breath, only to receive a firm whack to the head by Sallem, knocking him into the pavement.

Dusting off his hands, Sallem smirked at Rito. "You know something, Rito. I might actually be somewhat tempted to listen to your pleas for mercy, if it weren't for the small fact that, in the end, you're enjoying this situation just as much as I am, and in the future, will enjoy it even more than I do." He pointed out as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"One more thing!" Rito spoke up, actually noticeably shocking Sallem for some reason. "I know I've said this before, but why are you making me go through all of this? I know you've said a bunch of reasons, like Lala's your old friend, you have your hobbies, and you want the ghost haunting me, but they all seem like flimsy and poorly thought out excuses at best."

Sallem regarded Rito's words thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin, pondering the pros and cons of what he could say next. Eventually, he threw his hands up in surrender. "Alright, you got me." He admitted sheepishly. "I do have an ulterior motives for my actions that I haven't told you about."

"Thought so," Concluded Rito. "So what is it?"

"When did I ever say that I'd tell you?" Grinned Sallem maliciously, noticeably unnerving Rito. "As a matter of fact, why should I have any reason to tell you? I mean, compared to me, you're quite frankly pathetic. Yohohohoho-ow!" Laughed Sallem, before being cut off by a whack to the head from Lala. "What did I do?"

"Stop hiding things from Rito!" Demanded Lala adamantly. "You may be my friend, but enough is enough! Leave him alone already!"

Sallem stared at Lala, slightly taken aback. Rubbing his head having what looked to be an epiphany... Turned out to be nothing of the sort as he burst out into laughter. "Yohohohohohoho! Things are going so well now! Just so, so well! Yohohohoho!" Cackled Sallem, this time dodging the blow Lala aimed at his head. "Sorry old friend, but that's not how the game is played. Yohohoho!" Spinning in place, Sallem jumped up onto a nearby building. "Now if you two will excuse me, I have another end of this plan to get to work on. See you around." Pulling out his remote, he disappeared in a huge cloud of smoke.

"...And there he goes again." Sighed Rito in exasperation as he shook his head. "Honestly, do you have any idea what he might be up to?" He asked Lala as they resumed their walk to school.

"Hmmmm..." Hummed Lala as she looked as thoughtful as she could, before playfully bopping herself on the head and sticking her tongue out. "Sorry, but I can never really tell exactly what Sallem's thinking." She apologized sheepishly.

Sighing, Rito stared ahead of himself. "Well, I know how that feels." He admitted. "Honestly, how did you two ever get to be friends?"

"Well, whenever Sallem had business with my dad when we were kids, he'd always come by and pull lots of pranks to make me laugh!" Lala explained cheerfully, obviously recalling fond memories. "I may have mentioned this before, but the reason I built so many machines as a kid was because I didn't have that many friends. But whenever Sallem came around, we'd build machines together, and it would always be so much fun whenever we'd test them out."

"Sounds like you two really have quite a history together." Noticed Rito, with a slight twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Of course they do," Peke said, getting her two cents in from her place on Lala's head. "Lala-sama and Sallem-sama worked together to build me not long after they first met."

"Seriously?!" Shouted Rito, who was surprised as hell. "Then wouldn't that make Sallem like your dad or something?!"

"Well, from a certain point of view, I suppose that would be accurate." Conceded Peke. "However, after building me, he barely ever took notice of me. So I suppose that he doesn't share the same sentiment towards it that you and Lala would."

"Lala and I..." Rito murmured as images of a young, orange haired girl with a devil-like tail assaulted his mind against his will. Shaking the images from his head as his face turned beet red, he did what he usually would in situations like this... Panic. "W-Well, let's head off to school, shall we? I'm sure we'll run into Sallem later so I can ask my questions then!" Moving in a mechanical jerky motion, Rito made haste to the school.

With Yui

As she walked by a construction yard on her way to school, Yui was slightly on edge due to her recent dream. Sure, it wasn't real and she could barely remember any of it, but what she did remember was enough to creep her out for a while. Knowing Sallem and his dangerous nature as well as anyone did, Yui could honestly say that she wouldn't put it past him to try something because of a dream he didn't even have. Hell, for all she knew, he was responsible for that dream, she'd certainly seen enough crazy alien things in the past to not rule it out as a possibility.

Unknown to Yui, Sallem was sneaking up behind her in an exaggerated tiptoe walk, even though he already had a cloaking device on. Looking at the camera, Sallem smirked and held a finger up to his mouth in a shushing manner and said very quietly. "Shhh, be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting schoolgirls. Huh-huh huh-huh huh-huh huh." Shaking the giggles out of his head, he pulled out a small bottle from his pocket, and it read.

'ACME Rubber Lip Locker. For use on stubborn tsunderes and otherwise jaded women. Warning! Do Not Sell to Sex Offenders!'

Blotting some of the solution onto a cloth, Sallem got up right behind Yui and quickly pressed it against her mouth.

Yui, reacting instantly to Sallem's actions, believed that someone was attempting to drug her for insidious purposes. While she was only partially correct, that didn't stop her from lashing out her leg behind her, landing a kick squarely onto Sallem's shin. When the cloth was pulled away from her mouth, she thought she'd managed to shake him off, and turned to confront her would be attacker. But she turned, she felt a throbbing pain in the leg she'd used to kick whoever had snuck up behind her. That, coupled with the snickering she heard coming from nowhere, made her quickly realize who it was that she had just kicked.

"SA-MMRFF!" She struggled to shout out his name, but failed. Blinking in confusion, she tried again, "MMRMUFU!" And again she failed. Deciding to go with trial and error, Yui tried to just open her mouth this time. Managing to hold it open for just a second, before it snapped shut again, she realized what likely happened and felt her mouth, and sure enough, there was some elastic substance holding her mouth shut like glue. Now mad with rage, Yui began expressing her frustration the only way she could with her mouth sealed shut. In other words, stomping her feet and shaking her fists at the sky.

"Yohohohohoho!" Laughed Sallem loudly from just out of sight, catching Yui's attention. "It's just so much fun watching people squirm like this!"

Again turning quickly towards Sallem, she froze in fear at the sight before her. Sallem eating what looked like a bloody piece of some poor soul's body. Fresh blood dripping from his muzzle and torn face, and chunks of meat stuck in his teeth. Seeing such a sight instantly caused all the color to drain from her face, and for all the feeling in her legs to suddenly vanish. Scooting herself away on her hands, she tried to scream, but her mouth would barely open for more than a fraction of a second.

"Yohohohohoho! You are such a wimp if this scares the crap outta you!" Laughed Sallem, holding up the piece of flesh to a fearful Yui's face, she saw what it really was. "Man, I had no idea you were so terrified of cherry pie. Maybe I should have used apple or pumpkin instead." He mused as he scratched his chin in contemplation.

Yui, furious at having been made a complete fool of, punched Sallem in the face, only for her own hand to get hurt. Clutching her fist in pain, she took the only real option she had left to her, and shot a searing glare at Sallem.

"Awww!" Cooed Sallem as he pat Yui on the head before she swatted his hand away. "You really are just so cute when you're crazed, you know that? Rito's so lucky that I'm setting you two up together."

Yui, furious at the very notion of Sallem having any say in her life anymore, but knowing that she couldn't hurt him physically, did the only thing that she could think of. She flipped him the bird.

"Oooh, feisty!" Smirked Sallem. "Never one to accept defeat, and completely defiant to the bitter end. This will work. It will work very nicely. And it will be very entertaining all the way down the road." Completely ignoring the trashcan Yui hit him over the head with, Sallem continued his spiel. "I'll bet you're wondering as to what exactly I used to clog your mouth, aren't you?" Not bothering to wait for a response, not that Yui could even give one in the state she was in, he continued. "Well it's very simple really. Well, maybe not the chemical compounds used to make it, since those are so complex that you'd need to be very well versed in both biology and the periodic table to fully understand them, but their application is very simple, but I digress." Ignoring the brick Yui threw at his head, Sallem continued. "Now as I was saying, the gunk blocking your mouth, while a very complicated formula, has a function very similar to rubber cement, and can only be removed via one method. Would you care to know what that method is?"

Yui, still venting her frustration, grabbed a nearby shovel and whacked Sallem over the head with it. However, it didn't do anything aside from making a large dent in the shovel. Furious that she was being made a total fool of, her rage clouded her better judgment as she kept slamming the head of the shovel against Sallem's head until the handle broke, and the head of the shovel was more like a large ladle than anything else.

Regarding her calmly, without a single scratch on his body or any signs of pain, Sallem smirked at Yui and said, "Are you quite done yet?" As she threw one last brick at his head, Sallem idly wondered if ambushing her in front of a construction site was such a good idea. 'Then again,' He thought, 'No matter what she throws at me, my cyborg body is more than durable enough to stand up to anything she's capable of throwing at me without the slightest bit of harm or pain. Oh well, I've always hated it when women feel that they can get away with hitting men at any time they want, so maybe this will teach her a lesson about civility.' Brushing off the dust from shattered bricks and splintered wood, making certain to show that it was just a minor inconvenience at best, Sallem cast her an amused glance and repeated. "Are you quite done yet?"

Still angry as hell at Sallem, but finally seeming to get the picture, Yui managed to compose herself enough to cross her arms and tap her foot impatiently. Signifying that, yes, she was ready to calm down and listen, even though it left a bad taste in her mouth, or was that just the rubber cement?

"Glad to see that you're finally listening to reason." Smiled Sallem as he pulled out a vial full of some kind of fluid. "Do you see this solution?" Yui nodded her head in response, glad to see that this could finally end. "This is sugar water," He remarked as he threw the vial over his shoulder and it shattered onto the ground, much to Yui's dismay. At least until she heard what Sallem had to say next. "And it will most certainly not get rid of that stuff clogging your mouth." He taunted her casually. Yui, in response, threw another brick at him, which again did absolutely nothing but shatter into chunks of hard clay upon impact. "Feel free to keep up that poor attitude all day. I don't have anywhere to be right now, unlike you."

It took Yui a moment to process and understand what Sallem was talking about, and when she did, she totally panicked. 'If I keep wasting time with this delinquent, I'm going to be late for school!' She realized silently before darting off for school at top speed. 'Damn it! I'll have to get the answers from him later! Right now I have to prioritize!'

As Yui ran off for school, Sallem chuckled to himself. "If she was really worried about missing school, she could have just said so." He remarked as he pulled out his remote. "But then again, even if she felt like lowering herself so far as to ask me for help, she wouldn't have been able to do so in her condition anyway. Yohohohohoho! I am such a huge jerk." He noted impishly as he pressed a button on his remote and vanished.

At School - With Rito and Lala

'So far so good.' Thought Rito as he and Lala swapped out their footwear in their shoe lockers. 'Let's just hope it can stay that way for just one day, if it can.'

"Good morning Rito and Princess Lala." Greeted Yami as she stepped by them to get at another locker.

"Morning Yami-chan!" Lala returned the greeting enthusiastically. "It's so great that you're enrolling in the same school as us."

'Oh, so that part must not have been part of the dream Sallem put me in.' Realized Rito as he smiled at Yami, taking notice of her uniform, his eyes resting for a moment on the single belt she kept on her thigh. "Good morning, Yami. I was kinda worried you might not show up."

"Of course I'd make certain to show up." Smiled Yami slightly as she walked up to Rito. "This is the most convenient place to learn more about Earth, and also," She got up on her tip-toes and planted a quick kiss on Rito's cheek, bringing a tinge of red to his face. "I want to be able to do that with my boyfriend every morning from now on."

"Yami." Whispered Rito with a smile, until he got a sudden sense of danger and fury crawling up behind him. Gulping, he slowly turned around to see what it was that was setting off this foreboding feeling, and saw a group of angry looking subhuman males lead by the monkey king Saruyama himself glaring at him. "Hello?" Rito greeted fearfully.

"Rito~," Growled Saruyama. "Even though you already have Haruna, Lala, and Ryoko, you still feel the need for more and more and more!" As Saruyama and the mob took a unified step forward, Rito took two steps back. "When will your rampage of womanizing stop and let us get a turn at some of the best!?" Demanded the mob as they charged Rito, who quickly took off running.

Yami just stared at the charge of idiot monkeys chasing after her boyfriend for a moment before turning to Lala and asking, "Is it normal for something like that to happen? I'm still getting used to understanding exactly how people from Earth think and act."

"I'm pretty sure that it's normal." Nodded Lala as she and Yami headed off to class. "It happened when they first found out I was Rito's bride, and again when they found out Ryoko was dating him. It must be some way other boys congratulate him."

"Lala-sama, I'm not entirely certain that's what it-" Peke began.

"I see," Yami cut her off, completely ignoring the costume robot. "If that's how it is, I suppose I won't interfere."

Little did she know how much Rito could use some interference right about now. Fortunately for Rito, some interference was on its way right now. Unfortunately for Rito, it wasn't the kind of interference that would come without even more trouble.

Back With Yui - On the Way to School

Yui was furious! First she had a crazy dream that reeked of outside interference, then Sallem glued her mouth shut with something, and now, thanks to wasting her time getting mad at him she was late for school! Sooner or later, Yui swore she would find some way to deal with his out of control behavior!

"You see now, that's your problem," Said Sallem as he suddenly ran up beside her, startling her into fumbling for a second before righting herself and glaring at him. Ignoring the acidic glare he was being given, he continued. "You see everything that goes wrong in your eyes as the fault of somebody else, and your problem to fix. You really need to learn to lighten up about this and enjoy life a bit more, without worrying about every minor detail that goes wrong. Find a boyfriend and lose your virginity maybe."

Again, Yui stumbled due to Sallem's declaration before righting herself. Glaring for a moment at Sallem in a way she hoped conveyed that he was being obscene, that she didn't need, nor want a boyfriend, and that someone had to uphold morals, she held that glare for a few moments before quickly turning back to face forward.

"That glare brings up a few interesting points I wanted to talk to you about right now." Began Sallem as he pulled up ahead of Yui and ran backwards so that he could not only face her while talking, but also to show off and piss her off. Ignoring the stronger glare she was sending his way, he continued. "Believe it or not, these things you keep getting angry about are accidents more often than not." Getting a punch to the face, while it didn't hurt him in the least, helped him get the message Yui was trying to get across. "Okay, let me amend that statement slightly." He chuckled. "The things that don't involve me in some direct way are accidents more often than not. In other words, once I'm gone, and perhaps even before then, I'd very much recommend that you get that pole out of your ass."

Yui, already having reached her boiling point long ago, launched a powerful kick in mid-stride at Sallem's crotch. Hoping that at least that point would be a sore spot on the seemingly indestructible cyborg. When she saw that he hadn't even reacted to her kick, and it was her own foot hurting instead, she stared at Sallem in shock, disgust, and what seemed to be a strong desire to suddenly lose her breakfast.

Quirking an eyebrow at the new expression, Sallem pondered the look Yui was giving him for a second before he realized what was going on. "You seriously kicked me in the balls, didn't you?" Yui's red and panicked expression was all the answer he needed. "For the record, that part of me actually isn't modified. I just wear a guard down there to protect from groin attacks." Sallem didn't even try to hide his disappointment and disgust at Yui's relieved expression, but continued on in his tangent regardless. "Anyway, as I was saying before that little debacle, you really should put some thought into finding someone you want to spend your life with."

Yui, finally getting it through her head that he wasn't going away anytime soon, just decided to press onward to school and ignore him for the time being. Try as she might though, it was hard to ignore someone who was literally staying two steps ahead of you. And try as she might, it was hard for her to ignore the following words.

"Aren't you at all curious as to how you can get rid of that gunk I put into your mouth?" Asked Sallem, who took Yui tripping over her own feet and slamming into the pavement as a yes. "Very well then! I exclaim most exuberantly! Let us get back on track then, and pick up where my tangent left off!" Ignoring the hammer she hit him in the face with, though idly wondering where she got it in the first place, Sallem continued. "So basically you know the rundown. Complex formula, simple solution, so on and so forth, yada, yada. Bottom line, that gunk I stuffed up your mouth with is keyed to Rito's genetic signature, and can only be removed by his saliva. Or, if you're into some kinky stuff, any other bodily fluids of his you can obtain. I don't really know much about your tastes. I'm not you."

If Yui wasn't mad and flustered before - which, if you've been paying attention, is definitely not the case - she most certainly was now. 'Is he insane?!' Thought Yui in outrage, at least before she remembered who she was talking, or rather thinking about. 'He's basically telling me that I have to ki-ki-ki... Never mind what he's telling me I have to do! There is no way, no chance that I would ever stoop so low as to actually consider what he's saying! I'll just have to find some other way to remove this gunk!' She thought as she quickly stormed off to school.

"That's highly inadvisable!" Shouted Sallem after her, having read her expression. "You'd have more luck trying to tow the Tokyo Tower by hand than getting that stuff off without the proper solvent! Sometimes you need to focus on what you need instead of just what you want! You'll need to eat sometime!" Trailing off with a quite chuckle, Sallem pulled out his remote and teleported again.

Back With Rito

"Why does this keep happening to me?!" Shouted Rito as he ran aimlessly through the school building, an angry mob of jealous perverts trailing closely behind.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it's me at the moment." Smirked Sallem slyly as he pulled up alongside Rito from out of nowhere.

"What do you want now?" Asked Rito tiredly, not even reacting to Sallem's sudden appearance.

"You seem oddly calm for someone who's being chased down by an angry mob of overly-hormonal teenage boys and a middle-aged man who should probably have been arrested years ago for some kind of sexual assault." He remarked as he jerked his thumb in the direction of The Principal, who had joined in the chase at some point. Sallem guessed from the state of damage the man's body and clothes were already in that his reasons for being there involved Yami making a passing mention to Rito being her boyfriend as she beat the tar out of him yet again, and the stout fatty getting angry about it. 'Funny,' He thought, 'He never struck me as the vengeful type. He must just be getting tired of me messing with him all the time. Oh well, I do what I love, and I love what I do, no shame in that.'

"I think that I must be getting used to this by now." Guessed Rito calmly, suddenly no longer regarding the danger chasing him as significant. "People can only try to attack you so many times before it starts to lose the threat it once held, I suppose."

"Sounds like I'm doing you a favor then." Smiled Sallem as he pulled out his remote and pressed a button on it, reversing his personal gravity and causing him to walk on the ceiling. "Would you care for me to do you another one right now?"

"No, I don't want any favors." Denied Rito skeptically. "I know at least a few things about how you work by now. Though I don't know why you're walking on the ceiling."

"Kicks?" Shrugged Sallem before he put on a hockey mask. "Anyway, since you don't want another favor, I suppose I'll just torment you for a bit now." Pressing two buttons on his remote before Rito could manage even a slight protest, a chainsaw appeared in Sallem's hand, and he proceeded to act like an insane serial killer and scared all of Rito's pursuers away. He even went the extra mile and started gunning for The Principal specifically by the time the chase went outside. However, none of any of this mattered at all to Rito, who was having an episode of his own at the moment. Let's watch the play by play, shall we?

Play-by-Play Begins

1) Sallem pressed two buttons on his remote. One caused an already running chainsaw to appear in his hands. The other caused a Yui, who was already running so as not to be late for school, to appear a few short meters ahead of Rito, running the opposite direction.

2) Sallem jumped down from the ceiling and started howling like a maniac with a chainsaw to drive away the mob of hormonal teenagers and The Principal.

3) Rito and Yui tried to stop running, but couldn't stop themselves in time and collided into each other. Since Rito had been running faster, he wound up falling on top of her.

4) The impact knocked the wind out of both of their lungs, and as they each tried to intake air, they found their mouths and tongues tangled up together.

5) The ACME Rubber Cement that had been blocking Yui's mouth, dissolved almost instantly. This caused the two chemical compounds Sallem added to the mixture to be released from the confines of the adhesive.

6) One of the compounds, a trace amount of a powerful - though fast acting - aphrodisiac, caused them both to slightly lean into the inadvertent kiss, and for want of a better term, suck face more passionately.

7) Haruna, who is finally determined to tell Rito her feelings comes by, and upon seeing Rito and Yui making out so passionately in the hallway, quickly loses her resolve, and goes off to find the nearest chair to shiver in.

8) After 21 seconds, the fast acting drug wore off, and Yui quickly slapped Rito away.

9) Sallem goes off into the schoolyard, chasing The Principal with a chainsaw while laughing manically.

Play-By-Play Over

"What do you think you're doing!?" Demanded Yui indignantly, before she took a moment to notice three points. "I can talk again?" She whispered as Rito started to get on his feet. "How did I get to school?" She asked a bit louder as Rito fully righted himself. "Curse you Sallem Cortez!" She shouted to the heavens, finally realizing what must have happened.

"He got you too?" Asked Rito as he helped her get to her feet.

"I swear I'll get him if it's the last thing I do." Growled Yui as she wiped her mouth off. "His mayhem has gone on for long enough!"

"If you ever find out a way to stop him, more power to you." Sighed Rito as he shook his head. "Anyway, I'm sorry about the... well... you know..." He slowed down as his face turned a slight tinge of red.

"Oh!" Gasped Yui with a start as she remembered what transpired just moments ago. "Yes... that... well, um... Thank you?" She stammered, red-faced as well.

"Um," Muttered an increasingly red Rito. "I'm sorry. What did you just-"

"Forget what I said!" Panicked Yui as she realized some of the many ways her comment could be interpreted. "Just-Just... Forget what I said and leave me alone! I mean get to class! I mean... GAHHHH!" She rambled in frustration before running off.

Staring at Yui's retreating form, Rito scratched his head as he wondered what crazy plans Sallem had in store for him this time. Sighing when he came to the conclusion that Sallem was more annoying than anything else, and was just as unpredictable as a roulette machine, with about the same chance of winning against him as one, Rito went on his way.

With Sallem

"Yohohohohoho!" Laughed Sallem comically as a hogtied Principal was having horrible, unspeakable things done to him in the background by a group of wild pigs. "I have no idea where exactly those pigs came from, but they came at the perfect time. Maybe they escaped from the zoo or something." Shrugging, Sallem pressed a button on his remote and made his chainsaw disappear. "Oh well, no use pondering insanity. Best to just go along for the ride as I always say. Speaking of insanity, are the measures I'm taking here and now with Yui and Rito really necessary? I mean really, keying the adhesive to dissolve only when exposed to a fluid sample of Rito's DNA was tough enough, was keying the fast acting truth serum in the adhesive to Yui's DNA overkill here? And shouldn't I be worried that all these chemicals might have lasting aftereffects on all parties involved? Better yet, why am I going off on a tangent here, when I could be spending some more ti... ti... TIAAACHHHOO!" Sallem sneezed loudly.

Shaking his head to clear it out, Sallem looked around attentively, looking for something. "Where is it?" He asked himself seriously. "My cybernetic body prevents me from getting sick, so the only reason I should be sneezing is either from direct stimulation or - ah - Ah - AHCHOOO!" The force of his sneeze was so great, that it sent him tumbling backwards, where he landed in a pile of trash. Brushing some old food and other refuse off of his person, another sneeze wormed its way out before the source of the problem hit him smack in the face. Literally. Because it was a small black cat that jumped on his face. "ACHOOOO!" Sallem sneezed the cat off of him. "Allergies. *SNRRK*!" He snorted, signs of congestion already heavy in his voice. "Why is it that I can make cures for all kinds of diseases, and modify my body to the extent that I can't get sick, but I still suffer from this stu - Stu - STUATCHOOO! STUPID CAT ALLERGY!" With another snort, he quickly teleported himself home to shower off.

'Honestly,' Thought Sallem as he started to strip off his clothes for a nice long shower in his private hotspring to get rid of both the stench of garbage, and any trace of cat on his person. 'It's because of my stupid weakness to cats that I have so much trouble setting people up with catgirls. You'd think someone would have invented a cure for allergies by now, but no. They're all far too focused on the market appeal of mixing a super-buxom or super-loli woman with a domesticated animal to care about how it might negatively impact people like me.' Getting in the shower part of the hotspring and letting the hot water wash over him, Sallem sighed in contemplation. 'Oh well, I suppose I can't hold it against them too much. Still, I wish I could have a major allergy attack without my partially cybernetic brain losing a few files of information on the grid for a few weeks.' Conducting a quick system diagnostic to see what was missing. 'Looks like it's a few things from my short term memory this time. I can't remember what I ate for breakfast, though I do recall Karasuba saying that she was planning on taking a nice long soak in... the... hotspring.' He trailed off as he realized where he was, and turned to see an adamant looking Karasuba sitting naked a few feet from him. "Hello?" He greeted nervously.

"What... Do you think... You're doing... In here?" Seethed Karasuba as she reached for her abnormally long sword.

"Do you take that thing everywhere with you?" Asked Sallem curiously as he tilted his head.

"Don't change the subject!" Shouted Karasuba as she took a swing at him, only for her sword to clang against his hard metal body.

"Why are you getting so mad?" Asked Sallem nonchalantly. "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"That's beside the point." She growled. "I said that I'd be using this for most of the morning today, or do you not recall that?" Suddenly, the door opened, and in came Benitsubasa and Haihane.

"Karasuba, what's with all the noise in..." Stopped Benitsubasa suddenly when she saw who was in the sauna.

"Well," Remarked Haihane calmly. "At least we know for sure he's really not gay."

"Sallem? How could you?" Teared up Benitsubasa. "How could you go this far with her before me?"

"I can think of two good reasons." Joked Haihane as she poked at Benitsubasa's flat chest.

"Cut that out!" Demanded Benitsubasa.

"Okay, this routine is getting tiresome." Deadpanned Sallem.

"Then you can get out." Seethed Karasuba as she tried to cut Sallem again, and again to no avail.

"Now there's a thought." Hummed Sallem mockingly. "But if you don't mind, I have a counter proposal. Everybody in the hotspring!"

"DAMN YOU!" Shouted Karasuba as she tried and failed to split Sallem's head open like a watermelon, and Benitsubasa and Haihane were quick to get in the hotspring.

The Next Week - Yuuki Household

'Today is going to be a horrible day.' Thought Rito glumly. This was certainly an unusual turn of events. Normally thoughts like this are reserved for the goth, the emo, and the suicidal. He wasn't the first one, he wasn't attractive enough to be the second, and hopefully he wasn't the third. Seriously, if he can go through all the stuff he has so far since Lala entered his life without giving up his cheerful disposition for more than a few seconds, why is he so depressed now? What could bring on this sudden drop in his mood? To answer that question, we'll have to go back in time a few days.

Three Days Ago - Kotegawa Household

"Seriously?!" Asked Yuu Kotegawa his girlfriend Akiho excitedly on the phone. "You really mean it?"

"Calm down for a second," Scolded Akiho playfully over the phone. "I'm not proposing to you or anything. I just want to know if you'd be free this evening for dinner at that fancy sushi place that recently opened up downtown. I won four tickets at a raffle yesterday and I thought I'd treat you."

Yuu personally couldn't care less what her reasons were, just the fact that his girlfriend finally seemed to be taking their relationship as seriously as he did was good enough for him. He'd been getting worried for a bit that she might not actually like him as much as he liked her, since he always had to go out of his way to ask her out, and sometimes she was just too flaky to even want to do anything. He was actually wondering if he might have to cut off the relationship, since things had been touch and go there for a while, but things seemed to be looking up again. It was then, that a thought occurred to Yuu. "You said that you have four tickets, right? What are you gonna do with the other two?" Suddenly he was worried for their date.

"Oh, those," Remarked Akiho nonchalantly. "I wasn't really gonna do anything with them, and they expire soon, so why don't you go and invite some friends or something." Secretly, Akiho put those two extra tickets out there to sound polite, and so that things wouldn't go too far on this date. She wasn't really looking for a relationship right now, but having a nice boy toy around from time to time was something she really liked.

"Oh, okay." Said Yuu somewhat dejectedly, his good mood now slightly less good. "Alright then, I'll find a few friends and meet you there."

"Great! Looking forward to it!" Akiho said excitedly, just to bait the hook a bit more before she hung up.

Sighing, Yuu put his phone away before flopping on his bed and slipping his shirt off to get cool. "This is just great. Right when things are looking up for my relationship, I get stuck bringing along not just a third, but a fourth wheel. Honestly, what's a guy like me have to do to get a relationship just right?" Turning on his back, he just decided to stare at the ceiling for a bit to think things over.

"I think I might be able to help you with you troubles." Came a voice that seemed to come from all around Yuu.

"What was that?!" Said Yuu as he sat bolt upright. "Who said that?!"

"I'm right behind you, my friend." Said the voice as something roughly grabbed Yuu by his head, and flipped him over onto his mattress. Rubbing his sore head and neck, Yuu angled his head upright to see Sallem decked out in his favorite attire of mismatched clothes. "Sounds to me like you've got love troubles, Yuu Kotegawa, and you can consider me here to help."

Pinching his cheek to make certain he wasn't in a dream, Yuu stared at Sallem for a moment before daring to venture a question. "Okay, first of all, don't do that again. You really hurt my neck just now." He requested as he straightened out the last kinks in his neck. "Second of all, who are you? And third, how exactly can you help me?"

"All in due course, my good man. All in due course." Began Sallem charismatically as he held out a hand to help Yuu stand up, the moment he grabbed it, Sallem pulled him upright without a word of warning. "As to you second point of fact, which is your first question, my name is Sallem Cortez."

"Sallem Cortez?" Tested Yuu as he rubbed his wrist before realizing who he was. "Wait a second... Are you the guy my sister's been complaining about lately?"

"Well for such a loafing ladies man as yourself, you certainly do pay attention to the needs and concerns of your family." Sallem observed happily as he pulled out his remote. "Tell me, what exactly has the girl been saying about me?"

Not exactly certain if he could place any measure of trust in someone he didn't know aside from secondhand accounts from his sister, and not very flattering accounts either, Yuu proceeded cautiously. "Well, aside from her usual spiel of how morals and rules need to be upheld, she's said that you do some pretty outrageous things." Waiting to see if Sallem had a response, but getting none, he continued. "She's said that you've pulled a lot of pranks that defy all logic, and that they can get pretty dangerous sometimes. She also mentioned that you're an alien, but with all the weird things happening around town this past year or so, I think that's actually the least weird thing she's said about you."

"Yohohohohohohoho." Chuckled Sallem quietly. "Isn't that just like the girl? Always focusing more on the negative than the positive. If you ask me, she really needs to lighten up a little. She'll never get anywhere in life if she always stresses over every little thing."

Chuckling at the rather accurate description of his little sister, Yuu loosened up a little himself. "Yeah, she'll never get a boyfriend if she keeps that attitude up." He admitted.

"Agreed." Nodded Sallem, glad to be on the same page now. "At any rate, this brings us to your third point of fact, and second question. How I can help you, which will in turn, help me, as well as a few other parties." Pressing a button on his remote, a screen with pictures of both Yuu and Akiho appeared. While Yuu wondered how he did that and where he got photos of both him, and his girlfriend, Sallem explained the inner machinations of his mind. "You will recall that your girlfriend received tickets for four to a sushi restaurant, yes?" When Yuu nodded, though with a look of getting more confused by the second, Sallem continued. "I'll be perfectly honest. I set that up." Paying no heed to Yuu's shocked look, he continued again. "My reasons for this are long and complicated, but suffice to say, my bank accounts stand very much to gain from my actions here on Earth."

'Now I think I'm getting an idea of this guy,' Thought Yuu as he scratched his chin. 'Whatever's going on here, his motivation is simple enough, even if the money thing is just to throw me off. These kinds of people are always easy to understand, no matter how crazy they seem.' Confident that he could now better deal with any curve balls Sallem threw his way, he relaxed a bit more.

"Get that twinkle out of your eye," Scolded Sallem playfully, having read Yuu's expressions like a book. "Because I still have a few more things to say before we can get started. The main problem you're suffering from, right here and now, is that you want to go on a romantic date with your girlfriend, but those two extra tickets are getting in your way. Are you with me so far?"

Realizing something was amiss here, Yuu questioned Sallem again. "Now that you bring it up, why did you give her four tickets?" He asked seriously. "If your plans, whatever they are, somehow involve me going on a date with Akiho, why give her extras?" The idea didn't make much sense to him.

"Now we're getting to the important stuff," Smiled Sallem, though he stayed quiet. "You see, it's not you that make these plans work, so much as it is your sister. At least at the moment."

Now Yuu was confused again. "Why does my sister have anything to do with this? Shouldn't you be talking to her if she's so important?"

"Would you ask someone who currently hates your guts to cooperate with a greedy plan of yours?" Asked Sallem rhetorically.

"I guess not." Admitted Yuu sheepishly, actually starting to like this guy, or at least his sense of humor. "So where does my sister come in to all of this?"

"She comes into this equation with you, using the tickets Akiho provides." Smirked Sallem. "Of course, it's not just her, but Rito too."

"Rito?" Wondered Yuu, now all but completely lost. "Why would all of this involve him..." Suddenly, several things seemed to click in his mind at once. He remembered his first meeting with Rito, how his sister reacted to being questioned about him, the time she made chocolate for valentines day, when Rito came over during Yui's cold, and perhaps most importantly, a few passing mentions Yui made recently to how Rito was becoming a playboy, and therefor even more of a trouble to the morals of the school. At the times these had happened, Yuu brushed them off as nothing more than his sister developing her first crush and not wanting anyone to know about it, including the object of her affections himself, and at the time, they were. Now however, they helped him piece together what Sallem was planning. "A Double Date?" Realized Yuu curiously, with a hint of excitement.

"Well, well. It would seem that there are some people originating from this planet that actually think somewhere along the same lines as I do." Smiled Sallem enthusiastically. "Now as to whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined. Regardless, this bodes well for the both of us at least, if no one else."

"There are still a few things that are bugging me though," Intervened Yuu, catching Sallem's full attention. "My little sister mentioned that you're setting Rito up with a lot of girls. Normally I'd be pretty interested in a prospect like that, but this is still my little sister we're talking about here. Even though I may tease her a bit, I still want her to be happy."

"And you're worried that the center of a harem might not be able to manage that." Nodded Sallem understandingly. "I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, if I weren't me, I'd be worried myself. Rest assured though, I wouldn't be setting Rito up with so many girls if I wasn't positive that he could make them all happy and be able to manage everything. Trust me, I've seen his kind before, and they always come through for their harem."

"Alright then," Nodded Yuu skeptically. "I guess I'll have to take your word for that. But there is one other thing on my mind though." Yuu added, holding up a finger in thought. "You said you were in this mostly for the money, but I can tell that's a lie. What are you really interested in?"

"Alright," Smiled Sallem cheerfully. "Since I've taken quite a liking to you, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you. Just so long as you promise to keep it a secret."

"I'll stay quiet, just so long as my sister finally finds herself a good boyfriend." Grinned Yuu cheekily.

"Yohohohohoho! It's like looking in a mirror." Chuckled Sallem. "Alright then, I assume you're more or less familiar with the situation Rito's been in since Lala arrived?" Receiving a nod in confirmation, Sallem leaned in and whispered something into Yuu's ear. Nodding several times as Sallem whispered his tale for several minutes, Yuu eventually started snickering like a hyena.

"Oh man! That is good!" Snickered Yuu. "You are so evil." He added in good nature.

"I try my best," Said Sallem playfully. "So it's settled. All you have to do is invite both Yui and Rito to this double date, but don't mention to either anyone else who's attending. Make them both think that it's just you inviting them. Yui's your sister, so that will be easy, and just tell Rito that you got these tickets and your girlfriend didn't want to go with you. This way, the romantic mood not only stays, but it improves as well because it's a double date."

"So you want me to make it sound like I can't get a girl." Yuu said in mock offense. "What do you take me for?"

"A very good actor apparently." Joked Sallem. "So do we have a deal?" He asked, holding out his hand.

"Deal." Said Yuu as he accepted the handshake.

A Few Hours Later - Late Evening - With Yuu and Yui.

"Remind me again why I agreed to come with you?" Asked Yui of her elder brother as they walked to the sushi restaurant. "It may not be a school night, but we're still out past curfew."

"Because, I thought this might be good for a little brother-sister bonding time." Answered Yuu playfully.

Glancing at her brother skeptically out of the corner of her eye, Yui retorted. "I might be more inclined to believe that if you hadn't combed your hair." She said doubtfully. "You wouldn't bother doing something like that unless there was a girl involved."

Looking hurt, Yuu realizes the jig is somewhat up, and told a believable lie he and Sallem rehearsed. "Alright, you've caught me," He semi-admitted sheepishly. "There's this girl who really likes strong, caring, big brother types, and I told her that I have just the cutest little sister who I look out for no matter what, and who looks up to me. So do you think that you could do me this one favor? Please?"

"Not a chance!" Huffed Yui indignantly. "You're just using me so you can hit on girls. I refuse to be taken advantage of like this." Turning around, she marched off. "I'm going home, and you'll just have to tell this girl that you lied to her to score a date."

"But we're already here!" Insisted Yuu as he pointed to the building he was standing by. "And the food is on me!"

"I don't care!" Insisted Yui as she turned to angrily address her brother. "If you really want to find a good girlfriend, then you should try cleaning up that flirtatious attitude of yours first!"

"Yui? What are you doing here?" Asked Rito as he walked up beside Yuu.

"R-R-Rito?!" Stuttered a slightly flustered Yui. "What are you doing here?!"

"Yuu invited me to this new sushi place," Replied Rito. "He said that he got tickets to this place in a raffle, but his girlfriend didn't want to go with him."

The moment she heard this, the gears started to turn in Yui's head. However, her thought process was somewhat clouded by rage and embarrassment at her brother and Rito respectively. 'What is my brother thinking?!' She thought angrily. 'He's obviously gotten the wrong idea about Rito and I in the past, and it's clear he still doesn't know what he's doing! The only reason he would have deceived both of us to come here with him is if he were... he were...'

"Damn it Onii-san!" Exploded Yui loudly, startling her brother and Rito. "Messing with me is one thing, but you've finally gone too far! Is it not bad enough that you're running your own life into the ground?! Now you have to drag me down with you?!" Panting heavily in rage from exhausting her lungs, Yui stared down an uncomfortable and slightly frightened looking pair of men who frustrated her to no end.

"Excuse me," Said a girl who had just walked up beside Yuu. "But you're kinda scaring the wits out of my date here." Akiho mentioned as she patted Yuu on the shoulder.

"Akiho!" Greeted Yuu excitedly. "Good to see you. I see you're getting acquainted with my little sister Yui."

"This is your little sister?" Akiho questioned. "Good. I was afraid you were seeing someone else behind my back." She teased, though it was all a ruse. She quite frankly couldn't care less if Yuu saw people besides her, she just wanted to make certain he stuck around for a while longer. At least until she got her fill of fun out of him.

"Don't be ridiculous," Laughed Yuu as his sister turned red with indignation. "Why would anyone date their little sister. Besides, her boyfriend here doesn't like anyone else making the moves on her. Isn't that right, Rito?" He said as he grabbed Rito in a mock headlock.

"B-B-Boyfriend?!" Panicked Yui and Rito in unison, both red as a hot pepper.

"Rito?" Muttered Akiho suspiciously. 'Isn't that the name of the guy Haruna likes?' She thought. 'I had no idea he was already seeing someone else. My poor little sister would be devastated if she found out about this.'

"Now wait just a minute!" Complained Yui furiously. "I don't know what kind of game you're trying to play here, but if you think for one minute that I'm just going to stand here and take it, you've got another thing coming! So why don't you just enjoy your dinner date, and leave Rito and I out of it!" Grabbing the door to the restaurant in an effort to swing it open and be dramatic, she recoiled with a girlly shriek when she received a static shock from the door handle. Glaring at her clearly amused brother like a little child who'd just been swindled out of some candy, she tried again, and this time managed to get the door open without complications. "The fact that I got shocked just now doesn't make my point any less valid!"

"Why are we all wasting time arguing?" Intervened Akiho quickly as she grabbed both Yui and Rito by their shoulders and began to strong arm them into the restaurant, ignoring their protests. "Let's get inside and start eating. These tickets I got are only good until the day's up, after all. Coming Yuu?" She called as she managed to get inside. 'There's obviously more to this than what's on the surface,' She thought. 'Haruna doesn't usually talk much about her social life, being the shy and quiet girl she is, but at least one thing I do know is that she'd really into this Rito guy. Yuu's obviously hiding something based on his sister's reaction, but what it is I really don't know. Even after dating him for months, I really never paid that much attention to what he's like. I guess there are some downsides to faking a relationship after all.'

Staring after his girlfriend in confusion, clueless as to what was going on in her head and why she just helped out his situation so much just now, Yuu followed them inside.

Meanwhile, appearing from around the corner was Sallem, with a grim look on his face and a strange device with a familiar, spiral shaped logo on it in his hand. "Oh boy," He muttered. "What a time for the frequency of my remote to get crossed with Lala's cell phone. I just hope that whatever that shock did to Yui isn't permanent. Otherwise I'm in the doghouse, no pun intended this time." Sneaking into the restaurant behind them, he had to stifle a sneeze to keep his cover. 'Damn strays.' He thought.

In the Restaurant

"So... you two aren't dating?" Akiho asked Yui once introductions were fully out of the way and an extra large plate of sushi had been brought to the table. They had gotten a booth, Akiho and Yuu were seated on one side of the table, while Yui and Rito were sitting as far apart as possible on the other. Yui of course, had explained the situation to her. In her own interpretation that is.

"No we are not." Huffed Yui as she glared at both her brother and Rito, causing them both to shy away in their seats.

"Why would you do something like this?" Rito whispered to Yuu under the scrutiny of Yui.

"I thought it would help my sister get out of her shell." Yuu whispered back, obviously finding the situation much more amusing than Rito did.

"Quit whispering to each other!" Scolded Yui. "Honestly, how did I get stuck with such a thoughtless brother?" She growled.

Akiho, much different than her usual outgoing and playful self, was actually regarding Rito thoughtfully right now. "So Rito," She began, "You're really not seeing Yui?"

Catching a glimpse at Yui's red face which Rito had come to associate with pain, he responded quickly. "No! I'm not with her!" He panicked.

Akiho glanced from Rito, to Yuu, back to Rito again. "So, is there anyone that you are seeing then?" 'I've got to find at least this much out for Haruna.'

"Well..." Rito trailed off, not certain how to tell Haruna's sister that he was involved in a harem... Actually, there really didn't seem like any good way to go about it.

"Rito! Is that you?" Called a familiar voice that Rito could really go without hearing right now. The sound of many people moving in unison could be heard as Ryoko cut a path through the room with her muscular bulk. Upon arriving at their table, she propped herself on the table with her arms and swiped some sushi, giving everyone an excellent view of her cleavage, making Yui slide away, and scaring the crap out of Akiho. "I thought it was you. What brings you here?"

"Hello, Rito." Greeted Yami as she peered around Ryoko, smiling when she saw her boyfriend. "It's good to see you."

"Uhhh, Rito?" Began Akiho, scared stiff by the presence of a hulking woman like Ryouko. "Who are these two?"

'Oh crap!' Panicked Rito. 'If Haruna's sister finds out that I'm dating both of them, my chances with Haruna could go right down the drain!'

"Um, they're just-" Rito began before he was cut off by Ryoko's mammoth sized bosoms smothering his face.

"We're just his lovers." Cooed Ryouko affectionately as she pulled both Rito and Yami into a big hug.

"H-His lovers?" Repeated Akiho, clearly panicked with all this drama. "Both of you?"

"Of course," She answered as she saw Yui's red face. "Though I think you mean the three of us." She amended as she grabbed Yui and pulled her into the group hug as well, eliciting many protests from all people gathered in her arms.

"Ryoko! I don't think now is the time for this!"

"Normally I'd hurt you for getting this close to me without permission, but I'll leave it be since Ryoko's the one instigating it."

"Rito! Where do you think you're putting your hands!?"

Akiho, her eye twitching at the disturbing, yet somehow oddly arousing scene before her, quickly passed out into Yuu's lap.

"Akiho! Are you alright?!" Panicked Yuu, though all he got in response were gurgles and mumbling.

"Mikado-sensei! Let me go already!" Struggled Yui against the wall of muscle that was Ryoko.

"Alright, alright," Teased Ryoko as she let go of the three of them. "I've had my fun."

"You call that fun?" Hissed Yui, totally red in the face, not noticing Sallem standing behind her holding a sign that said 'Abort! Given them the Tickets and RUN!' in bright red letters.

"Uh, I would?" Said Yuu uncertainly as he gathered up his sleeping girlfriend in his arms. "Anyway... I think I'm just gonna take Akiho home now... and try to wake her up... So, uh..." He trailed off as he dug in her purse and pulled out the tickets. "Here! These expire today anyway, and I'm sure she wouldn't want them to go to waste, so just take them and have fun!" Rushing out in a panic of nervousness and confusion, he was gonna have a few choice words to say to Sallem the next time he saw him.

"Ah... AH... AHCHOO!" Sneezed Sallem loudly, blowing his cover and drawing the attention of Rito and his harem trio at the table, which 3 times out of 4, was a bad thing. "Hello everyone." He greeted nervously.

"Hello Sallem," Greeted Ryoko pleasantly. "I had a feeling you were behind this when I saw Rito and Yui together."

"Yami," Began Rito tensely. "If you wouldn't mind, do you think you could...?" He trailed off, leaving it to her imagination.

"Not at all, Rito dear." She agreed as she turned her hair into blades, a small smile and blush on her face from calling Rito dear.

"Now hang on just a-AHCHOO!" He sneezed as he dodged Yami's hair blades. "I know this looks bad, but I have a-AHCHOO!" He sneezed again as he fell over. "I'm sure that if you just gave me a-AHCHOO!" He sneezed again, stumbling as he tried to get up. "WHY ARE MY ALLERGIES ACTING UP IN A SUSHI RESTAURANT?! I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS! NOT FISH! AHCHOO!" He sneezed one final time as he stumbled into a garbage can. "Uhhhh, my nasal passages. AHCHOO!" He groaned, clearly congested.

Blinking in confusion at the unbelievable sight of Sallem falling over himself into a trashcan, all four of them started laughing to some degree or another.

"Hahahahahaha! That was just so satisfying!" Guffawed Rito loudly.

"Heh heh. It's not every day the richest man in the galaxy falls into a trash can." Said Yami, doing her best to make light of the situation even more.

"Fufufufu," Chuckled Ryoko. "You'd think they would have invented a cure for allergies by now. Unfortunately for you, that's not the case."

"Nyahahahaha!" Laughed Yui happily, Sallem suddenly sitting bolt upright in attention for some reason. "Nyahahahaha! I know I shouldn't feel so happy from just this, but it's way too funny! Nyahahahaha!"

Eye twitching before another sneeze came out, Sallem shook his head in shock and disbelief. "No," He whispered. "No, no, no, no, no, no-AHCHOO! No, no, no, no, no-AHCHOO! Yes, yes, yes-AHCHOO!" He finally conceded some unknown point.

"What are you going on about now?" Asked Yami suspiciously.

His heads drooping in defeat as he pulled out his remote, Sallem sighed. "Life just got a whole lot more difficult. AHCHOO!" He teleported out with a sneeze.

All four of them staring at the empty space Sallem once occupied, Yui was the first to speak. "By the way, why are you two here?" She asked Yami and Ryoko sternly. "Did Sallem put you up to this? It's obvious that he somehow dragged my brother into this, but what about you two?"

"Sallem had nothing to do with our being here." Answered Yami as she and Ryoko relocated themselves to the other side of the table. "Ryoko was glad to have me join Rito's harem, and decided to celebrate tonight."

"I would have done it sooner, but my week's been pretty busy." Ryoko admitted as she grabbed some sushi. "By the way, if no one else is going to eat this, then I'll take some." She said as she popped the morsel into her mouth.

"It does seem like a waste to not use these tickets for free meals here." Yui said as she eyed the large plate of sushi hungrily. Quickly grabbing a few for herself, she began to chow down.

"I... guess if no one else is going to use these then it'd be okay." Conceded Rito as he made a move for some tuna sushi, only for Ryoko to grab it first. "Uh..."

"Rito," Cooed Ryoko playfully from the seat across him as she held the tuna up to his face. "Say 'Ahhhh' for me."

His face gaining a slight red tinge to it, Rito quickly remembered that things like these were normal for people in a relationship, and opened his mouth to accept the sushi. Unfortunately for Rito, Yami noticed this action and decided to copy it.

"Rito," Yami said as she used her hair hands to hold chopsticks and grab several pieces of sushi. "Say 'Ahhhh' for me."

As his jaw dropped in shock, Yami took it as a sign that he was complying, and stuffed all the sushi into his mouth at once, causing him to gag as he tried to get it down.

"Rito," Steamed Yui after Rito managed to force down much of the sushi. Rito, nervous that she would chew him out for acting so close to his harem in public, slowly turned to face her. "Quit hogging all the sushi." She complained, completely surprising Rito, as that was certainly not what he was expecting, and he was expecting what happened next even less. She kissed him!

Reactions to this were many and varied. Ryoko said cheerfully, "Well this is something else. Looks like the group is growing quickly. I can't wait to see how it will all end up." Yami said suspiciously, "I know Sallem's methods are effective, but this is a bit too fast to be believed." Rito thought nervously, 'What's gotten into her?! Is she using tongue? She's licking the food out of my mouth!' And Yui thought hungrily, 'Mmmm! This sushi is so good! So many different flavors of fish already mixed together in a taste sensation! I love it!'

Eventually though, Yui retreated from Rito's lips to munch on the already been chewed sushi freely. "I love fishies!" She said happily as what looked like cat ears popped up on her head. Almost instantly, everyone at the table besides Yui took notice of her new ears.

"Yui," Began Rito carefully. "Are you feeling alright?"

Snapping out of her fish induced trance, she glared at Rito and made a hissing noise, as claws quickly sprouted from her fingertips. "What do you think you're making me do?!" She asked in a fierce sounding hissing voice. "Why did I suddenly kiss you?"

"I have no idea," Said Rito nervously. "But Yui, you may want to get a look in a mirror, or see a doctor."

"Although," Intervened Ryoko, obviously amused. "A veterinarian might be a better option."

"Rrrrroowww," Growled Yui as she bared her teeth Ryoko, now with sharp canines. "Why would I need something like that?"

"Because you seem to be turning into a cat." Answered Yami, tired of this game.

"Turning into a what?" Blinked Yui as her eyes turned into cat eyes, not fully believing what she was hearing. "What are you talking abo-" Yui suddenly stopped short as the full moon began to climb over the horizon, and something inside her began to take root. Fur began to grow out of her forearms and calves. A tail sprouted out of of her tailbone. The ears on the sides of her head disappeared into her head as the cat ears on top of it began to twitch. But the real kicker would have to be from the way she licked her lips once Rito caught her gaze and she pounced on him.

"Rito. Let's make kitties!" Yui demanded cutely.

Fast-forward - Present

And so it had gone. Yui had been horny the whole night, and Ryoko and Yami had to chase her and Rito around for half an hour before they finally managed to catch her in a kennel. During that time, Yui had managed to tear most of his clothes off of him, and Sallem had arrived wearing a scuba mask and tank to bribe the cops into not arresting Rito for public exposure. Why the cops had never done the same to the Principal was something Sallem was offended by. Apparently, Sallem's remote had crossed frequency with Lala's cellphone, and one of her inventions malfunctioned, causing cat DNA to be fused with Yui's. When Rito demanded that he undo it, he replied that he couldn't, due to a prank he pulled on Yui a few days ago having the inadvertent aftereffect of making the cat DNA bond so well with Yui, that it was literally too deeply interwoven and fastened to Yui's DNA to be removed.

Rito didn't know the full details of the prank, but Sallem told him that it involved a powerful rubber cement, and to leave it at that. Personally, Rito was outraged at the idea of Yui having to stay like that her whole life, while Yami asked if she would always be so ecchi from now on. Sallem didn't have a response to Rito's point, but assured Yami that, due to a bit of research he conducted in what couldn't have taken more than 10 minutes at most, this behavior was brought on by the full moon, and wouldn't happen again until the next one. While Ryoko commented that was closer to the description of a werewolf than a catgirl, she also said that it was an interesting angle.

Now for what Rito was dreading. The inevitable confrontation with a now part cat Yui that was waiting for him at school. Personally, he was worried that she might place some of the blame on him, while Sallem was more worried about how she would set off his allergies, and that he'd have to wear air tanks whenever she's around. At any rate, if there's one thing Rito knows about cats, it's that they have very sharp claws, and as his clothes found out three days ago, Yui has big ones.

On The Way to School - With Rito, Sallem, Lala, and Yami

"Is all of that really necessary?" Rito asked Sallem, referring to the scuba equipment he was wearing.

"You have no idea, Rito." Replied Sallem, who sounded like Darth Vader behind his diving mask, customized to cover his half Glasgow Grin. "Without this gear, I'd be sneezing up a storm around Yui when we get to school." Adjusting the oxygen tank on his back, he added. "I may be a genius of all fields, but even I can't come up with a way to cure my allergies. This equipment is the only way I won't be sneezing and hacking my lungs up around cats."

"Why can't you come up with something?" Asked Lala curiously. "Back on Deviluke, and even here on Earth, there are plenty of ways to treat allergies."

"It's not that simple Lala," Began Yami. "The genetic code of Sallem's species varies so drastically from person to person, there is very little common ground in terms of physical aliments."

"Is that true, Sallem?" Asked Rito.

"Absolutely." Nodded Sallem. "Why do you think no one ever refers to my species by anything other than something along the lines of 'My Species'? It's because we're all so radically different from each other that no one can agree on a name for our kind. The only thing we all have in common is the ability to breed with pretty much any living species. Other than that, you may find some of us who have too many eyes, not enough eyes, giants, midgets, things with tentacles, things with wings, things that just freak you out, things with extra senses, even things that could kill you with a glance, or something else altogether. I actually kinda wish that I had inherited more genes from my maternal Grandpa, since he's a Mr. Saturn and all. They're pretty much the single most awesome species in the entire galaxy and, bluntly speaking, he was more of a dad to me than my real dad ever was." Shaking his head, he concluded. "The canine lineage I'm so proud of is just something my ancestors picked up from werewolves somewhere along the line that has a lot of staying power in my genetic code."

"Amazing!" Gushed Lala excitedly. "I had no idea it was so colorful on your planet, Sallem!"

"I guess that might explain how someone who's supposed to be your clone would look so different from you." Observed Rito as he recalled the lanky, white haired, and highly perverted Victor. "Honestly, why would you even make them in the first place?"

"Clones..." Whispered Yami as she stared at the ground, slightly hurt by Rito's words.

Rito, taking immediate notice of her pain, wrapped his arm over her shoulder and looked her straight in the eyes with a disarming gentle smile. "Sorry if I offended you just now, Yami." He apologized. "I was venting some frustration and I hurt you without meaning to. I hope you know that I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I do love you after all."

Smiling back at Rito, Yami nestled her head in the crook of his shoulder, glad that she was still cared for, still loved. "Don't worry too much Rito. I've run into one of Sallem's clones myself, and it wasn't exactly pleasant."

"Oh yeah, Maverick mentioned that a while ago." Sallem confirmed. "He said he was trying to recruit you into the Gray Clan, but you said no."

"The Gray Clan?" Repeated Rito curiously. "What's that supposed to be?"

"It's a major criminal organization Maverick founded a few years ago." Sallem replied nonchalantly, as if he were simply discussing the weather. "It started out small and simple enough, but it rocketed full throttle to become the biggest crime ring in the galaxy in just a few months. I'm so proud of my criminal mastermind little brother." He said affectionately, his eyes creasing closed in a manner that showed he was grinning underneath his mask.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Rito mentally noted that whoever this Maverick was, he needed to stay away from him.

"I thought you said that Maverick had stopped being such a jerk." Said Lala bitterly

"I said no such thing," Denied Sallem point blank. "What I said was that he'd mellowed out. Starting and running a galactic scale criminal organization is mellow for Maverick."

"Why is it that I'm not surprised that you're related to a criminal?" Came a voice from above them.

"Please, anything but her." Shuddered Sallem as he checked the air pressure in his oxygen tanks.

Looking up, Rito, Yami, and Lala saw Yui perched on top of a fence on all fours like a the partial cat she now was. "I heard that, Sallem." Growled Yui as her cat ears twitched as if to emphasize her point. Jumping off the fence and landing gracefully on two legs, Yui extended her claws and glared at Sallem threateningly. "I also know about your allergies. So unless you want to spend the rest of your stay here on Earth sneezing day in and day out, I suggest you get your act together and start acting like a good student. Do I make myself clear?" She asked as she held a claw up to one of the air hoses connecting his mask to his air tanks.

Visibly panicking, Sallem quickly snatched the hose away from Yui's claws and retreated several feet in an instant. "Careful with those! Do you have any idea how serious things like allergies and sickness are to my species?! I could seriously die from getting something as simple as the flu! Even allergies are the stuff of nightmares for me!"

"Seriously?" Questioned a surprised Yui before her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Or are you just making that up in the hopes that I might go easy on you now that I finally have an advantage against you?"

"Uh..." Hesitated Sallem worriedly as his eyes darted back and forth. "Look! A monkey!" He pointed at a vague point in the distance before darting off faster than anyone could follow, only Lala actually falling for his ploy.

Yui huffed as she crossed her arms in disgust, glaring in the direction Sallem ran off in. "There he goes again, always making everything the problem of somebody else. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be stuck with these." She remarked as she glared at her claws and hairy arms. "Oh well, at the rate the world's going, aliens and the like will probably become commonplace soon enough, and at least the ears and tail are easy enough to hide." She relented as she folded her ears against her head and worked her tail into her shirt. "But don't even think about getting any funny ideas Rito!" She declared angrily as she pointed at the man in question. "I know what goes on in boy's heads when they see girls and cats together, so you'd better watch where you step from now on, or you'll meet with my claws!" She finished as she flashed her claws at Rito, who gulped in fear at the thought of being on the wrong end of them.

'Oh man,' Thought Rito nervously. 'Yui's really gotten scary since she got turned into a catgirl. Even worse, Sallem's no doubt still planning to set me up with her. I know him well enough to know that a few allergies won't be enough stop him.'

"At any rate," Began Yui with pride and authority in her voice, as well as clear on her face. "Things seem to be in order now, so it's about time for all of us to get to school. Chop-chop everyone! Education waits for no one!" It was clear to everyone that, now that she had some degree of power and control over what's going on around her for pretty much the first time since Lala showed up, Yui was going to really enjoy being in charge for the first time in over a year. "Now whether we're at school, or in public, it's important for us to represent our both our school, and our age group to the best of our abilities! Which means that there will be no public displays of affection or obscenities. Do I make myself clear, Rito?" She asked sternly as she separated Rito and Yami.

While Rito was too afraid to resist, Yami was much more stone faced and embittered about Yui's actions. Regardless of what they were to each other in the past, Rito was her boyfriend now, and she wasn't about to let anyone get in the way of her bonding time with him. She'd read in a highly recommended book on relationships that times like these were important for keeping love strong and fresh. "I'm staying with Rito." Objected Yami as she nestled herself back into the crook of Rito's shoulder. "Do I make myself clear, Yui?" She asked in an ironic echo as her hair turned into several blades, all of them pointed directed at Yui.

"Uh... Yes... You've made your point." Answered Yui nervously, quickly realizing that, even though she now had highly effective methods for dealing with Sallem, there were still some other students out there who could still pose something of a problem to her, and they weren't allergic to cats. "Well, at any rate, as I said before, school awaits, and I expect to see you all there and in class before the first bell." She said as she beat a hasty retreat disguised as her being worried about being late for school.

Though he had nothing to say aloud at the scene before him, Rito still thought to himself thankfully. 'I'm actually kinda glad that she's not pointing her hair weapons at me for once.' His relief however, was quickly cut short when out of nowhere, a water balloon hit him in the face.

"Sorry about that mister!" Called a nearby small child who had obviously thrown the balloon. "My friend and I were playing and didn't look where we were throwing our water balloons!"

"But that girl you're with was really cool!" Cried the child's friend excitedly. "She got out of the way so fast, it was like she's some kinda superhero or something!"

"Yeah! That was awesome!" Agreed the first boy.

Looking around in confusion, Rito saw Yami wasn't nestled under his arm anymore, but was instead standing atop a telephone pole. "Any reason you're up there, Yami?" Called Rito.

Yami immediately jumped down from her high perch, walked up to Rito and answered. "I didn't want to get wet."

"And yet you're fine with me getting wet?" Asked Rito sarcastically, holding up his dripping wet arms.

Chuckling slightly, Yami messed up her boyfriend's sopping wet hair. "Your hair looks good when it's wet." She smiled before kissing him on the cheek. "But since I don't want to get wet snuggling with you, I'll see you at school." She said before she jumped up from one telephone pole to the next.

Sighing wistfully as he watched her leap into the distance, Rito had to admit that seeing her able to live her life as a normal person, and being able to stand by her side as her boyfriend made him very happy. He could honestly say he didn't want to know where she'd be if they hadn't met, and was very glad she had chosen him. Getting his stuff together, he said. "Come on Lala, we really gotta get to school before we're late."

"Where's the monkey?" Pouted Lala, having been searching for it ever since Sallem had used that lie as a distraction. "I don't see it anywhere!"