Sorry about the slow update been so busy with work and my volunteer work that I do with kids. Only a Chapter or two left for this story now. Don't forget to review.
Chapter 38
Olivia looked over at Elliot, since leaving the station after giving his statement to Cragen he had been quiet hardly saying two words to her. He was standing leaning against the wall looking out the window, his arms folded across his chest.
"El do you want anything to drink?"
He looked over to her and shook his head. She turned around and carried on making herself a coffee.
"I'm going to go and have a bath before the kids get here"
"Yeah okay" he replied not turning to look at her, as she walked away towards the bathroom. He knew she was worried about him, but he needed time to think. So much had happened in such a short space of time his head was all over the place. He knew shutting Olivia out wasn't the way to do things, holding things back only made things worse. He pushed away from the wall and walked to the bathroom.
He pushed the door open and stuck his head in "Can I come in?" he asked.
"Cause you can you don't need to ask" she told him. Only her head showed out the top of the bubbles. He came in and sat on the edge of the bath his hand dropping into the water.
"Sorry I've been so quiet" he said trying to smile at her.
"Its okay" she said taking hold of his fingers under the water.
"I've been going over things in my head, Jenna, me and you, Tucker and Dani….. I don't think I can go back to special victims to work" he said dropping his head. "Not just yet anyway, I kinda realised this this morning talking to Dickie and then when I was talking to Cragen."
"Yeah I know" she said taking hold of his hand properly and squeezing it "I have been waiting all day for you to tell me"
Elliot looked at her and forced a smile "I never could hide things from you, you're not upset"
"I just want what is best for you El, after everything you need to put yourself first. So what you going to do then?"
He shrugged his shoulders "that depends" he said "I got a choice of two"
"What are they?" she asked sitting up slightly"
"Well the first one is I could just take some time off away from the job. Cragen said I could go stay at the Cabin for a few months he has some jobs around there that need doin. He said I would have no problems in getting time off work after everything I have been through…. "
"It sounds good" she said dropping her head "I could always try and get away from work to see you when I could"
"Or there is option 2, which Cragen is still looking into, which involves both of us, still working together"
Olivia's head lifted up "What do you mean?"
"They are setting up a training program for people who are going to be working in Special Victim units. It's going to be a 4 week course where they will go over interview techniques, how to handle kids, signs to look for. Basically everything we had to learn on the job. Cragen says they need instructors, he reckons they would snap us if he put us forward" he looked at her face trying to get a reaction from her "Liv it only needs to be short term as soon as I think I'm ready to come back I can. Cragen says he will get someone in to cover for us if we do it." He looked at Olivia whose head was still down looking at the bubbles. "Liv, Baby what do you think?"
"We get to be together?" Elliot nodded.
"Yeah, it would be like an assignment away from the unit. A break from dealing with shit that we do every day whilst still helping and doing some good. The courses are being run away from the city at a specially built place, we would get our own place to stay, no late nights, working weekends, no worries that one us won't come home because of some incident"
Olivia looked up and smiled at him "Where do we sign baby" she asked.
Elliot smiled for the first time since they got home "Really you will do this for me, leave SVU for a while"
"El" she said leaning forward and taking his hand "You had me as soon as you said still working together. I love you more than I ever thought possible and if you need to get away from the job and the city to sort yourself out then I am coming with you"
Elliot lent forward and kissed her; she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her as she lay back. He fell into the bath fully clothed never breaking from the kiss as he lay on top of her. He moved his hand down between their two bodies and slipped two fingers between her folds rubbing across her clit.
"Hmmmm El the kids will be here any minute"
"I know " he said looking into her eyes as his fingers found her opening and he slipped them easily inside her fully "That's why I'm gonna make you cum quickly and I will wait till later" Fingers slipped in and out of her twisting as they went in.
"Shit El" she gasped "how the fuck do you do this to me so quickly" Elliot added a third finger into her as he watched her face.
"Because I love you and I know what you like" he said as his thumb massaged her clit. "I love the feeling of your juices over my fingers; I love how you feel inside when you're close to coming. The way you tighten around my fingers as they fuck you, come on baby, cum for me, let me feel you"
"oooh baby" she moaned as she felt orgasm building from deep down. She pushed herself up to meet every stroke of his fingers as they pushed into her deep his thumb massaging her clit, she felt her body start tremble she tried to fling her head back but he stopped her.
"No baby I want to watch you" he growled "look at me" she looked him in the eyes as she came; she clenched her muscles against his hand as her body bucked against him. She felt Elliot jerk against her a few times his eyes still on her as she began to relax. He looked down and grinned at her.
"You okay" he asked her.
"Yeah" she grinned back "And you"
"Oh I'm good" he said
"El….did you just come"
He nodded "What can I say watching you cum is the biggest fuckin turn on ever I couldn't help myself"
"Stand up" she told him "and get out the bath"
Elliot done as he was asked soaking the floor as he did water dripping from his clothes.
"Get undressed, your dripping water everywhere"
He quickly shed his clothes and stood in front of her naked. She got on her knees in the bath facing him "The kids aren't here yet" she said looking up at him and licking her lips "I'm sure this won't take long" she said taking him in her mouth.
"Fuck baby" he said moving his hand onto her head and running his fingers through her hair as she took him deep into her mouth sucking hard her tongue swirling around his length. She grabbed hold of his arse cheeks and pulled him towards her as she took him deeper, she could feel the tip of his cock hitting the back of her throat but she didn't care she needed him all of him.
"So close baby" he gasped as she grabbed his balls and massage them "So…..Fucking…close" she felt him throb in her mouth as he pushed into her his cum squirting out of him and hitting the back of her throat as she swallowed over and over drinking every bit of him"Jesus baby I'm so sorry are you okay" he asked her looking down as he pulled his cock out her mouth "I didn't mean to go so deep"
She looked up at him grinning "That was amazing El" she said kissing his tip before standing up and wrapping her arms around him "I love taking you deep cause I know how much you like it" she said kissing his neck. He held her tight in his arms.
"I want to fuck you "he whispered to her.
"Sorry but we can't your kids will be here any moment soon, so get your cute ass out of here and get dressed" she said slapping his ass cheeks. He looked at her with a sulky face before turning and leaving the bathroom. She grinned as she climbed from the tub and grabbed a towel. She smiled to herself as she thought of all the time they were going to have together over the next few months.
They had both just got dressed when the buzzer went from downstairs. Elliot buzzed them in and opened the door for his kids. Maureen, Kat and Lizzy all grabbed him and hugged him as they came through the door. All of them had tears in their eyes as he held them back.
"I'm okay I promise you" he told them as they refused to let go of him.
"I will kill the bitch if I ever see her" said Kat "I hated her the first time I seen her at the hospital that night when you were stabbed" said Kat as they let go.
"She will get locked up wont she dad, she won't get away with it?" asked Lizzy.
"Yes she will go away, as well as my statement and Livs there is also the video she made plus all the photos we found at her place, so you don't need to worry."
They sat around for the next half hour talking about what had happened, and they ordered pizzas. Olivia answered the phone and talked for a minute before hanging up.
"What's up Baby?" he asked when he seen her face.
"That was Alex" she said "Dani is in court tomorrow morning for the charges to be read out and to enter her plea"
Elliot nodded "What time?" he asked.
"Eleven, we don't need to be there El, if you don't want to"
"No…. I need to, I need to face her" he said standing up and walking to the door "I need some air" he said walking out. Olivia turned to follow him but Dickie stopped her.
"Let me go, you stay with the girls and get the pizzas" he said following his dad.
Dickie opened the door to the roof and walked out his Dad was pacing back and forwards.
"You okay dad?" he asked knowing it was a daft question. He walked towards his dad and seen the anger on his face. "Dad….please" said Dickie worried that he was going to lose it "Talk to me"
Elliot stopped pacing and looked at Dickie "Go back downstairs Dickie"
Dickie shook his head "No Dad, I'm not leaving you"
"I will be fine I just need some air"
"No dad…. I'm staying"
Elliot walked up to Dickie and stared at him "Just go back down, I won't be long" he said turning away.
"You know dad you always told me there was nothing wrong with being scared….. So why can't you just admit your scared of seeing her again in court… you heard Livvy you don't need to go"
"I'M NOT SCARED!" he screamed "Don't tell me I'm scared" he lent against a wall "I can't be scared" he said looking down.
"Dad" said Dickie walking up to him and standing right in front of him "it's nothing to be ashamed of. She tied you up and held you at gun point and held a knife to you, you have a right to be worried and scared about facing her"
"I don't want to lose it….in the court room I don't want to lose It in front of her to let her know she has won" he sighed rubbing his hands over his face.
"Dad she hasn't won. You have your family and Livvy. We are all here for you, just like you have been for us, we all love you Dad and it would take more than some Physco bitch for us to disown you" he smiled. "And tomorrow in court we will all be there with you"
Elliot shook his head "No Son I don't want you near the court hearing what happened, seeing her"
"I'm sorry dad but it's not up to you were all adults now and we have all talked and we want to be there. What she did affected all of us and we all have a right to face her with you"
Elliot grabbed hold of Dickie and pulled him into a hug, holding him tight "thank you Son"
"Any time Dad" he said hugging him back.
"We best get back down, before the girls eat all the pizza" said Elliot
"Yeah" said Dickie but he didn't move. "Dad after it happened did you think about killing yourself again?" he asked him
Elliot looked at his son and took a deep breath "I'm not going to lie directly after it happened I did think about it for a while, I hated myself and I thought Liv hated me, but I talked to Liv and everything was fine…. Look Dickie I can't tell you I will never have those thoughts again, but I'm working on it, seeing a shrink. But I promise you if I do have them I will talk to someone I will never let it get to the point where I put the gun to my head and pull the trigger again"
"Dad have you lost your faith in god? Because we have always been told suicide is a sin"
"I don't know. I guess I need time to figure that out. Right now I find it hard to even think about it"
"Have you been to church at all since the shooting?"
"No I haven't, if I went to church I would have been forgiven, I didn't want that I don't deserve to be forgiven for killing a kid"
"Dad you done nothing wrong. You had to shoot her to save Livvy and other people in the room that day. That girl she had a choice, she decided to come in with a gun, she decided to pull the trigger and kill people, she could have decided to not do that. You didn't have a choice to make you had to save the person you loved and your friends. You don't need forgiveness for doing the right thing you need to stop beating yourself up over something you could never have stopped" Elliot stood staring at his son "I'm going down for Pizza you coming" he said walking away.
Elliot followed his son taking in what he had said and wondered when his son had become so smart.
The pizzas had just arrived when they got back downstairs. Elliot went into the kitchen where Olivia was getting plates and wrapped his arms around her.
"Sorry about that" he said as she turned to face him.
"Its fine are you okay now"
"Yeah I have great kids" he smiled.
"Yeah you do. The girls told me they are going to court"
"I know, I was informed by Dickie"
"Are you going to let them?"
"As Dickie pointed out I can't stop them their adults. They want to be there Liv. We will just have to be there for them if it gets too much"
"Okay baby" she said kissing him. He kissed her back and pushed her against the sink deepening the kiss,
"Oh come on guys seriously" said Kat "Save it for later" she said pushing past them and getting the plates grinning at them.
"Sorry I can't "say Elliot pulling Olivia back to his lips.
"God you're so embarrassing at times" she said walking away. Elliot grinned at Liv.
"Come on let's get some Pizza" said Olivia.
Elliot looked at the bright green numbers on the clock it was almost 2 in the morning. The kids had left about 10 after arranging to meet at the court in the morning. He and Olivia had made love in the kitchen and bedroom before she had fallen asleep. Elliot sat up and began pulling on his jeans trying not to wake her. As he just finished putting his sneakers on Olivia turned over.
"Where you going baby is everything okay?"
"Yeah its fine, go back to sleep, I just need to go somewhere"
"Do you want me to come?"
"No its okay, I need to do this myself, I won't be long….love you"
"Love you too" she said turning over and smiling knowing where he was heading after hearing the conversation between him and Dickie up on the roof when she was stood behind the door. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep.
Elliot walked quickly through the streets and jogged up the steps pulling open the large doors and walked in. The place was empty as he walked down to the front and dropped to one knee in front of the alter. He looked up at the large cross with Jesus on and made the sign of the cross on his chest as his tears fell.