Disclaimer - I do not own Homeland. That pleasure belongs to Showtime. No copyright infringement or money making scheme intended. This is purely for reading enjoyment.
LilMisfit &Terzima - Thank you for the reviews. I'm glad I have you intirgued. I have feeling that you will come to like Stephen very much.
A/N Second part. Thank you to everyone still reading.
Please review.
A couple of shots of Tequila later, she still hadn't said anything. He was right, was he? He didn't have to ask about what. He might not know the circumstances but he remembered their last conversation well. He ran his hand through his hair and back down over his face. He'd warned her, but he felt no inclination to say I told you so.
"I am. You know...sorry", Carrie says breaking her silence now loking him straight in the eyes.
A lump forming in his throat, Stephen settles for nodding his head rather than answering. He knew she meant it. Gone was the naive rookie. Sitting in her place an experienced field operative with stories of her own to tell. Still, it was like a punch in the gut having it brought up. They said time was a healer. He wasn't sure about that but then he supposed he hadn't really dressed the wound, but rather left it to fester.
He'd been leading the conversation. Now he was silent. Carrie was worried about whether she had done the right thing coming here. She had in fact taken a good month or so arguing with herself before finally deciding to come. Her argument with Saul had been the tipping point. Yes, it had been 13 years but here she was dragging it all back up for him.
"So you want to tell me about it then?" he asks the question, pushing away the memories. If it was something to do with the CIA technically she shouldn't share the details with him, but she knew he could keep it to himself. It's probably why she came here.
"I..."
Carrie's phone started ringing, interrupting her. Seeing who it was from the caller ID, she knew she had to pick up. Smiling apologetically at Stephen she answered.
"Hey, Max. What is it?"
Stephen listened to Carrie's side of the conversation. Max was clearly a freind.
"He did what?"
Stephen chuckled. There was that Mathison tone of idignance. Someone had just jumped into her bad books. Poor them.
"Ok. Thanks for warning me. What? Ye, I found him. I'm with him just now. See you when I get back. Bye.
Stephen raised an eyebrow at her in question as she came off the call.
"Max helped me track you down."
"Ah right. So what's up then?"
"What makes you think anything is wrong?"
"You kidding? There are some things that even experience can't get rid of. You still have that high pitched tone which usually means something is wrong."
"I do not", Carrie says annoyed.
"If you say so Mathison", Stephen replies with a knowing smirk.
Glaring at him, Carrie reaches for the Tequila and pours them both another shot.
"It would seem that Saul knows I am in New York. He wrongly thought I was here to see him and there is a good chance he is on his way here."
"He's in New York?", Stephen asks, eyes hardening.
"Yes. He works here now."
"Why does he think you were coming to see him?"
"Because another idiot friend jumped to that conclusion and told him", Carrie answers frowning, clearly unimpressed.
Stephen found it strange. Something in her tone told him she wasn't keen on meeting Berenson at the moment. That was surreal to him and unexpected.
"You don't want to see him?", he asks her curiously.
"No. Not right now. Not ready for round 2 with him just yet."
"And he probably wouldn't be pleased to see you talking to me."
"His problem", Carrie answers emphatically.
"Ok. I'm guessing he's either tracked your phone or your credit card, assuming that you are staying here."
"Not completely out of practice then, Agent O'Neill?", Carrie replies with a grin.
"Ye. You know me. Captain obvious. So, you don't want to see him and I don't want to see him. You could go leave your phone in your room and we could go back to my place."
"I already paid for a room here..."
"Should have phoned ahead Mathison."
"And I don't want you getting any ideas", Carrie continues as though there had been no interruption.
"Ha! Me? Ok, first of all Mathison", Stephen began putting his coat on and lifting the other bottle of Tequila, "you are the one who took undercover just a little to literally. Secondly, you kissed me first and thirdly, no ideas here. I will be in my bed and you will be on the sofa!".
"Still ever the gentleman I see...and for the record, it was like kissing my brother!", Carrie retorts with a smirk.
"Ouch. You wound me Mathison", Stephen replies dramatically. "But you don't have a brother."
"You know what I meant. Smart ass", Carrie answers following him out of the bar.
He had just parked in front of the Hotel he knew Carrie was booked into when he saw her with someone. At first he smiled. Maybe she had gotten a bit side tracked. She was known to do that. He really thought she should be trying to move on. But then the man had turned around and Saul saw who it was. He didn't know whether he was more shocked or angry, but he wasn't happy that was for sure.
Carrie looked around taking everything in from her seat on the sofa. He seemed to be waiting on her assessment.
"It's very man cave", she offers.
"Single man. My domain", he grinned. Carrie didn't grin back. His own smile faltered.
"You ok with that?", she asks quietly.
"Sometimes and sometimes not", Stephen answered honestly, sitting down next to her. They were getting to why she was here.
"How do you cope? How do you move on?", Carrie asks.
He hears the desperation in her voice, sees the pleading on her face but he's not sure he has the answers she's looking for.
"I don't know. I don't know that I have. I've had a few one night stands which numbed the pain for a while, but left me feeling even more empty in the long run. Maybe she was it for me. I don't know. I've never really looked for anyone else."
Seeing the pained expression on her face, he continues, "look, that doesn't mean that's how it has to be for you. The point is I can't answer those questions for you. Only you can answer them."
Stephen pours more Tequila and hands it to Carrie, "do you want to move on?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. It's confusing and painful. I mean can you imagine me in love?"
Stephen would have laughed at that question if it were not so obvious that she had been. He understood what she meant though. The idea of the single minded Carrie Mathison of 13 years ago in love, was ludicrous.
"I need to keep going though for..."
Stephen saw her struggling to speak and the tears forming. He reached over and rubbed her back.
"I need to keep going for Allayna's sake", Carrie finishes picking up her phone and flicking through until she came to what she was looking for. She handed it to Stephen.
Stephen stared for a moment. He was looking at photo of Carrie and a baby girl with red hair.
"She's...you're a mom?", he questions looking at her with a hint of disbelief.
"I know! Double whammy. In love and a mom", Carrie answers as though still in shock herself.
Recovering first, "so any photos of dad? I'd quite like to see the guy that melted your heart", Stephen asks with a smile attempting to lighten the mood a little.
Carrie felt the dagger twist in her heart and the tears stinging at her eyes, "no", she choked out realising that she didn't have any of them together and never would have any of him with Allayna. "He died before she was born."
Stephen could honestly say he felt her pain. He didn't want to upset her further, but she didn't come here not to talk.
"Who was he?"
Carrie looked up, contemplating. He wouldn't judge. Hadn't that been one of the reasons she had decided to come. The one thing she was certain about...that he wouldn't judge.
Pushing away her fear, she answers his question, "Nicholas Brody."
If he was surprised or shocked he didn't show it. Carrie was grateful.
Well he hadn't been wrong about her still being full of surprises. He tried not to show his shock though. He knew better than to believe everything put out in the public eye, but others didn't. He can't imagine she has been able to talk about it to anyone particularly not as most of the Country still believed him on the run and the Langley Bomber. She was here because he was dead.
Do I want to know how or why he died?", he asks her.
"Probably not."
"But you need to talk and I'm all ears", he encouraged her.
Carrie took another shot of Tequila and began,"it started on my sofa..."