Longer chap to apologise, will upload again tomo, hopefully an even longer one for u lovelies x :)

nominate me for rizzles fanfic awards...? Pretty please :) x

Jane stared at the trashed and empty room as if she could concentrate hard enough and change the image before her eyes. Tears streamed down her face before she even fully comprehended what the scene meant. Maura...Ma...oh my god... She tore the room apart looking for something, anything, to tell her what had happened to them when she couldn't find anything she screamed. It was a sound like nothing she had ever heard let alone emitted; it was heart breaking, gut wrenching, soul destroying and it felt like every single part of her screamed with her. She ripped through the house with her torrent of tears stinging her face, when she couldn't find anything she lost control, she swept everything off the kitchen counter into a smashed pile on the floor. Her rational mind was telling her to calm down, to call someone, to get the place investigated but she couldn't think straight, it just hurt so damned much. She let out her rage through a sound that could only be described as a roar and she ploughed her fist through Maura's kitchen wall. The immense pain took its time to register with the rest of her body but when it did it was excruciating...and still nothing compared to the agony she was feeling inside her. The two women whom she cared most about in the entire world were missing and she had never felt more helpless. Her Ma had always been there, always her rock and she loved her immensely. Their highs and lows were always epic but no matter what her Ma would be there, standing strong and was there for Jane despite everything, no matter what she was feeling her kids came first and it was an inner strength that Jane hoped she had inherited; she needed it right now. It wasn't the first time she had been faced with a situation like this; Maura in danger was something she hated but it was always something that she had overcome. Her love for Maura made her feel so powerful it was almost superhuman, when she had faced Hoyt the first time around, she had no one like Maura in her life, she had never connected with someone that wholly and as she lay with those scalpels driven through her hands pinning her in place, she hated to think of it, but she had given up. She had nothing left. Since she had met Maura she had grown stronger without realising it, when she faced him again she had the power inside of her to overcome him but when he held Maura's life in his cruel twisted hands it had empowered her more than anything else in the world, like an electric current through her body she had to save her, she just had to, there was no other option...and now? Now she had no idea where she was. What was happening. Who had her. Whether she was alive. Those thoughts left Jane feeling physically sick and like she wanted to give up and disappear, a life without Maura? Wasn't worth living...it was as she stood cradling her possible broken hand that it suddenly dawned on her just how much Maura truly meant to her. I can't live without her...I...I love her... A sudden loud noise jolted her out of her shocked state and she grabbed her phone in desperation "Whatever you want. Just let them go."

The figure on the end of the phone managed a dry painful laugh at the deja vu before collapsing.

Jane stared at the phone as the person hung up on her. Her arm tensed as she prepared to propel the phone against the already damaged wall when she jumped at the sound of her phone ringing again "Let. Them. Go." Every word was carefully spoken and laced with a dangerous threat.

"Jane?"

The voice was not what she was expecting and she frowned as she took the phone away from her ear and checked the caller ID. "What the fuck do you want? You know what don't answer that! I don't want to hear from you, I have more impor-"

Dean interrupted her before she could finish her angry tirade "Jane it's Doyle. He's awake...and asking for you."

Jane nearly dropped the phone as the words sank in, she didn't say a word as she hung up and raced out of the house and leaped into her unmarked, flicked on the sirens and tore to the hospital as fast as humanly possible. She had a couple of hair raising moments racing across Boston streets but she barely let it sink in, all she could concentrate on, all she could see was Maura.

As Dean stood outside Paddy Doyle's room he could hear the commotion going on inside; when Doyle had woken up he had detached himself from all the machines and dragged himself to the phone, the nurses had found him doubled over and struggling to breathe. He was now trying to gather enough strength to fight off the fussing nurses. All Dean saw of Jane was a flash of dark hair that raced past him, knocking him out of the way.

Jane entered the hospital room to be confronted by hysterical nurses shouting at her, she could feel someone tugging at her elbow, she presumed it was probably Dean so she shrugged it off violently. Over all the shouting between herself and the nurses they heard a hoarse voice.

"Let...her..."

Everyone turned to see Doyle struggling to breathe and reaching out to Jane. One nurse stepped toward Jane again and received a look off the detective that would have killed, if looks could. As the nurses hooked Doyle up again and helped to make him comfortable Jane turned and gave Dean a look that told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was no longer welcome, not just in this room.

"Rizzoli..."

Jane turned her attention to Doyle and nervously made her way to his side. Flashes of memory of him pointing the gun at Dean and all the stupid emotions she felt in that moment...the slow motion memory of her raising her gun to point at him...the feel of that cold trigger on her finger, the power and confidence it usually gave her wasn't there...she should have known. Her gut was churning in that moment and she should have listened. She felt her heart sink as she remembered pulling that trigger and seeing Doyle fall. Tears fell uninhibitedly as those memories faded into that look on Maura's face...the look that destroyed Jane.

"Hope..."

Jane's attention snapped back to Doyle and his utterance echoed in her mind and she frowned as she remembered him whispering that to Maura. "Hope?" She frowned as he reached for her hand and thrust something in her palm. She opened her hand to look at a crumpled old photograph of a mother and child.

"Hope."

"Maur?" He nodded and she felt mixed emotions welling up inside her, she had a name, she could give Maura that name, they could find her, she could give Maura that family she had always missed out on, the family she had always wondered about. Maura... Her heart sank again and she blinked back her tears. "Maura is mi-" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence and she was stunned when she felt a hand clasp her own. Doyle looked at her with such emotion it was like they were completely different people. He pushed something else into her hand and she looked down at a wobbly handwritten address.

"...caref-" he struggled to speak and the nurses began to usher Jane out. "Maura...danger...save..." His face paled as she was pushed out of the door, but not before she managed to gravely nod at him. I will save her. I will not let her go.