Sydney POV
I laugh and squirm away from Austin.
"What? You're ticklish?" He smiled, then immediately tried to tickle me.
"Noo! Stop! Don'ttt!" I say, trying to get away from him.
He stops and makes a sad face, staring right at me.
I hear somebody making a gagging noise, and we both look up.
It's Skylar.
"Hey Austin. Can I talk to you for a second?" She smiled, standing right in front of him.
He suddenly gives her that same face.
She bit down on her lip. "Up. C'mon."
"Nah. I'm good. Thanks for the offer though." He suddenly smiled at her, while looping his hand with mine.
I simply look up at her and smile happily.
The smile I always have to fight to hold in.
I always want to smile around Austin.
"I didn't give you a choice. I said we were going to talk." She snapped bitterly.
"No. you said…" He suddenly cleared his throat.
Oh boy.
PLEASE DO THE IMPRESSION OF HER!
It's hilarious.
"Hey Austin, Can I talk to you for a second?" he said in a feminine voice.
The sound of people laughing out loud, and then quickly shutting up followed.
I don't even bother to hide my smile at her.
"That means let's GO. Leave the superstar spawn and come talk to—"
Suddenly Austin was on his feet and in her face.
"Do not call her that ok? Ever again."
She grabbed his hand and turned to walk away.
He yanked it back.
"I'd rather stay here and sit with Sydney, thank you very much."
He plopped next to me, and I impulsively kiss him.
I ignore her gasp of astonishment and her say "get a room!"
Austin waved her off and smiled into the kiss.
We only stopped when she huffily walked away.
"Thank you." I whisper.
He rubbed my knee and smiled.
"No problem. You nervous?"
"Nope. Are you?" I ask.
"Kinda. I haven't tried for a speaking part yet this year."
"You'll be fine. You're a good actor." I smile.
A day or two ago Sikowitz made us act out a scene that he rescued me from a fire by throwing me over his shoulder.
He did awesome, was gentle, and didn't joke about my butt being in his face.
I probably shouldn't tell you what he said to me.
He laughed, and I lay my head on his shoulder.
"So. Ice cream after this?" He winked?
That's his catch all phrase for "Want to go out, get a snack then make out?"
"I would…but I have to meet my Dad in Woodland Park for something." I frown.
He tried to hide his sadness, but I still see it.
"I'm really sorry…I tried to talk him out of it. But he said it's important. I think it's about my music." I apologize, curling up with him.
Thankfully we're partially obscured by a beam, so not everyone can see us.
"It's fine Syd. We can go get ice cream tomorrow and over the weekend."
I smile and kiss his cheek.
"Are we going out again?" I ask.
The first date was incredible. He had roses for me, a reservation at a cool restaurant and kissed me goodnight.
Best date ever.
"I was just about to ask you." He smiled.
I impulsively slip my arms around him and peck his lips.
He laughed. "You just love doing that don't you?"
I nod. "So can we?"
"Of course we can."
"Yay."
He laughed and kissed my cheek.
"Ellie Oliver!"
Crap.
I see Ellie rise from her spot by the door and enter the auditorium.
We're coming up.
By luck of the draw, Austin and I are in the last group to audition.
"So…after we audition, I have the key to the janitor's closet. Do you mind waiting for me?" He smirked.
I whisper in his ear.
"I'll wait." I giggle.
"Thanks angel."
Aww.
"I like all your nicknames." I say.
He's got a ton of them.
Angel, cutie, cuteness, sweetie, sweetheart, Syd, Sydney Baby…
Enter TV Guy's voice.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!
One of these days I'm going to think up a reason to stay with him all day. We can cuddle and watch TV and kiss and eat unhealthy food like normal couples.
"Good. Because I'm not getting rid of them baby." He smiled.
I giggle and smile.
"Before I forget…" He leans away suddenly and starts digging into his backpack.
He comes up with a key on a blue string.
"For you."
I snatch it and cram it into my bag.
There can't be much more time.
"I have a question for you too." I whisper, gesturing for him to come close.
He puts his chin on my shoulder.
"What lip gloss do you want?" I whisper, then hand him his choices.
…
"Sydney. That's what I want."
"Austin Harper!"
Dammit.
He smile and stood.
"Good luck." I smile.
"Thanks." He flashes me his million dollar smile, then swings his backpack around and walks away from me.
Robbie POV
I look down at the printed sheets in my lap.
This is a horror show.
We're sitting here in the Hollywood Arts Auditorium. Behind a pitch black curtain.
We're sitting in this order.
Sikowitz, Tori, Beck, Cat, Andre, Jade, Me.
Sikowitz didn't want us talking to our spouse to compare answers.
He gave us simple instructions. This is a play about love, with 4 main love interests. He wants passion, believability, talent and ability to pull the role their auditioning for off.
4 categories, and we rate each one out of 10.
I haven't given anyone a grade over 8 in anything.
The highest score is 40. I haven't even given out a 30 yet. I've had a 29, and 2 28's.
We're about two thirds thru.
I see what Sikowitz said.
"Ok…" Sikowitz said. "Please read from the passage on page 39. Go."
"Oh Mr. Alexander! You don't mean that! Surely you don't mean that! I know you care for me, even if you're afraid to show it!"
FAILLLLLLL.
No, no, and NO.
I quietly start circling.
Passion: 6
Talent: 3
Believability: 2
Ability to perform Role: 4
Grand total of 15.
She keeps on going, reading both of the required monologues.
I doodle on my page.
"Thank you, you're free to leave." Sikowitz dismissed her.
Once we heard the door shut, he turned to us.
"Did anybody give her about a 20?"
Tori snorted in disbelief.
"No." I say.
"I gave her a 9." Cat said.
"Definitely not." Jade said, sounding disgusted.
How did this happen?
Who is evaluating the talent here?
They're asleep at the switch!
Which makes me wonder…
NO.
Don't think that.
I can't think that.
I hear Sikowitz start his spiel again, and I refocus.
"Begin."
The moment I hear the voice I jump.
ELLIE.
I glance at Jade, and her eyes are wide.
I put my hand on top of her wrist, in case I have to restrain her.
…
What's this?
I mean…
I saw Ellie act. On Broadway. She stole the show.
This cannot be that same girl.
…
I glance to Cat, and she has a worried expression.
"Ok, you're free to leave."
Passion: 7
Talent: 7
Believability: 5
Ability to perform Role: 6
Grand total of 25.
THAT'S ELLIE?
I want to put my head in my hands.
I cannot imagine Beck and Jade.
I remember us, all of us behind the curtain staying up all night. Practicing. Working our asses off for roles in a high school play.
In the grand scheme of things, not all that important.
But we were hell bent on succeeding.
All these kids…
They're literally coasting on talent.
It's like they know it's not all that important in the grand scheme of their lives to get a role in a play here at Hollywood Arts.
The only reason I know that is because I've had years to reflect on it.
I'm glad I did what I did and worked my butt off. I'm damn proud of it.
And honestly? Being here today and listening to this?
It's making me mad.
Really, REALLY MAD.
I listen to more garbage, and then circle numbers.
Passion: 3
Talent: 6
Believability: 1
Ability to perform Role: 0
Total of 9.
Deep breaths.
"Three more. Almost finished." I hear Sikowitz say.
I quietly sigh, and everyone stretches out.
Blah blah blah…
…
Hey.
I sit up straight and strain my ears.
HEY!
This guy!
He's actually giving me something.
Way to go man!
I glance over, and everyone else has perked up.
…
Yeah!
Keep talking!
Honestly, it feels a little forced, but he's trying. Legitimately trying. That's not something you can fake.
That hurts the believability score, but that's not my point.
Passion: 10
Talent: 7
Believability: 7
Ability to perform Role: 8
32!
WOO HOO!
I don't like failing people. It hurts me to do it. I feel like I'm insulting them.
Well, not in this case.
In this case I want to yell "Get out of my school!"
I smile and sip my bottle of water, then set it down as Sikowitz goes "Begin whenever you're ready."
The voice nearly makes me spit up my water.
Sydney.
I knew she was going to be one of the last ones, after Mr.32 went.
…
Flat.
Uninspired.
Sounds more like an in class reading for history or something.
Come on. You're better than this.
…
COME ON!
…
Sydney.
Jade.
Valentine.
"You're free to go."
I reluctantly grab my pen out of the cup holder to my right.
Passion: 2
Talent: 5
Believability: 4
Ability to perform Role: 5
Grand total of 16.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I look over and catch Jade's eye.
She's devastated.
In the parking lot while we were waiting for school to get out enough so we could get in, we all agreed that Sikowitz probably was just frustrated, and that they aren't as bad as he says.
We were wrong.
Very wrong.
Last person.
I half listen due to how upset I am.
Passion: 5
Talent: 5
Believability: 5
Ability to perform Role: 5
Grand total of 20.
Sikowitz dismisses them, then stands and walks to the hall.
…
"Ok. Everyone has auditioned. "What'd you think?" he said, perching himself facing us.
"Awful." I say.
"Disgraceful." Beck spits.
"Pathetic." Jade growls.
Ellie didn't get to them at all!
"I had a feeling you'd feel that way."
"Haven't you tried inspiring them?" Tori asks.
"Yeah. They just tune me out. Which has me contemplating whether I've lost my touch."
"You haven't lost your touch!" Cat yelps.
"Don't think like that." Andre jumps it.
"This is them, not you Sikowitz." Beck adds on.
Sikowitz can't help but jokingly smile.
"Thank you. I appreciate the support. But you understand why I'm frustrated."
I nod, along with the others.
…
I'm looking at Beck, who has his thinking face on.
"I know that face. What are you thinking?' Sikowitz said.
"…I have an idea."
"Let's hear it." I say.
"Yeah Beck. Can't hurt." Tori says.
"I'm warning you, it's vindictive and kind of cruel." He prefaces.
"Good." Jade says.
Cat giggled.
Beck turned to Sikowitz.
"What do you have planned after school Monday? That's when you'll release the cast list, correct?"
"Uhh…yeah. I was going to just print up a list of the names. What are you thinking?" Sikowitz replied.
"I was thinking that you tell everyone who auditioned to come to the black box after school. You say that you were disappointed in the auditions, and so was the curtain crew. We are all waiting for your cue, and then come in and give them a piece of their minds."
Sikowitz lit up.
"That should wake them up."
Beck then turned to the rest of us. "Surely I'm not the only one who wants to yell and throw something right about now."
"Nope." I say, along with everyone else in a resounding voice.
"Is everyone free after school Monday?" Sikowitz asked.
"I'll make myself free." I say.
Rafael will take the boys home.
"Uh huh." Andre says, I assuming for him and Tori.
I know Cat will free her schedule.
"Great. I…I really appreciate this. And I'm sorry they were so awful." Sikowitz says quietly.
"No. Don't apologize. They did this, not you." Tori said.
"Yeah." I say.
As if on cue, we all stand.
All the girls hug him, and I smile.
"See you Monday."
We all walk out the back door to the parking lot.
Where Cat is waiting for me.
She slipped her hand into mine and leaned into me.
I guided us towards our cars.
"You gonna be able to talk to Sydney after that?" Cat asked.
"Yeah. I'll just have to get a drink and drown my sorrows." I joke.
She thinly smiled, and I stopped at her car and pull her into a hug.
"I'm so…mad." She said into my chest.
"I know. Me too."
"I don't even know the word." She admitted.
"I wish I did too. I feel kind of betrayed. That wasn't her best, and that's when you're supposed to be at your best. Auditions."
"It makes sense that she hadn't been practicing the script." Cat said.
"Yup. What'd you give her?" I ask.
Suddenly she squirmed. "I may have been a bit harsh."
"I know I was. Out with it." I say.
"13. What'd you give her?"
"16."
"It was bad." Cat said simply.
"I know. But she'll get an earful of criticism Monday. For now…we just need to smile and be supportive." I tell her.
She collapsed into my chest.
"Urrr…"
I kiss her head and hug her.
"I gotta go. She might get suspicious if I'm really late to the park." I say.
"Ok. Text me."
"I will. Love you." I say.
"Love you too."
I wave and hop into my car.
Thankfully the teacher parking lot is sectioned off, so Sydney and Ellie can't see it's us from our cars.
Jade and Beck told Ellie to find a way home, they were "Going to be at a meeting".
Wait…
Sydney's car is still in the parking lot.
I drive by the front of the school, completely bewildered.
The parking lot is basically cleared out. Her car, and a silver car, parked side by side.
Why…is she still there?
I told her, immediately after you get out of auditions, meet me at Woodland Park.
I let out a breath.
I can't get too mad.
…
A cold drink will help.
I pull into Freezie Queen's drive thru and order a cookies and cream Freezie, plus a chocolate shake for Sydney.
Then I hightail it to the park.
Halfway there, my phone lit up.
"Voice Text!" I tell OneStar.
"Sydney: Daddy, I'm running late. Traffic was terrible getting out of auditions. I'm on my way. Love you." The robot reads robotically.
I swat my hand on the wheel.
"DAMMIT!"
That lying liar who lies!
She probably was hanging back with a whole bunch of her friend.
Slacking off.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I spend the rest of the drive trying to cool down, then after I park I pop open the back door and sit in the area where the third seat usually is and sip my drink.
Sydney's is right next to mine.
I try to distract myself by looking thru the file Cat compiled. It's very thorough, with all the proof and more that I'm not Sydney's actual father.
The sound of a running engine distracts me and I look up.
She's here.
"Hey Dad." She smiled.
"Hey Syddo! How are you? How'd auditions go?" I pop up and come hug her.
She hugs me back happily.
"They went awesome. How are you?"
I shrugged and sat back down. "I'm fine. Got you a shake from Freezie Queen."
She lit up and grabbed the drink.
"You're the best!"
I laugh as she starts slurping on her drink.
"So…what's up? Why am I here?"
"I…I need to talk to you." I sigh.
Here we go…
The moment I've been dreading for 15 solid years.
The moment I reveal myself as a phony.
"About what?" She asked.
I stop and freeze.
My mouth isn't really working.
I run my hands over my face.
"I…gimme a sec." I say quietly.
My heart is POUNDING.
"Is everything ok? Is Mom alright?" she suddenly asks, looking scared.
"What? She's fine Sydney…just fine."
"Then what is it?"
"I…"
I gotta do it.
"I'm not your real father." I say quietly, to the concrete in front of me.
…
"What?" I hear her say.
"I'm not your dad."
…
"Dad."
I look up.
"Say that again?" She asked.
I take a deep breath and look into her eyes, which are sparkling.
"I'm not your dad."
Her shoulders slump, and she sets the drink aside.
"I…I don't get it."
"I can explain everything, but I'll let you talk." I say, giving her the floor.
"Dad, I know we don't talk about it much since you, me and mom talked about it. Because it's awkward and stuff. But I know how sex works. So you didn't have sex with mom, and she had me?"
"That's not what happened." I say.
"Then what happened? Are you guys getting divorced?" She asked.
"NO!" I yelp.
"Then what's going on?"
"I can explain Sydney." I say.
"Please do." She said strongly.
I let out a sigh and sip my drink, only to find it tastes like liquefied cardboard suddenly.
"I…17 years ago, after your mom and I graduated from Hollywood Arts we went our separate ways and didn't talk for a while."
"Why?" She asked.
The truth, Robbie.
"Because…I loved your mother back then too. But she didn't notice, and was dating other people."
Her eyes shot open.
"At our prom, she went with a guy that I told her was bad and ignored my advice. They did the deed and he broke your mom's heart. I punched him and busted his nose."
Her jaw is just open.
"But…your mom still didn't notice. I was so mad and heartbroken, I just disappeared. Deleted her number from my phone, defriended her on Splashface, the whole 9 yards. I moved on. I started my career as a comedian. I was actually pretty successful. I dated other people. Until a year and a half after we graduated, and your mother surprises me in Sacramento with some news."
"Me." Sydney gasped.
I nod. "You."
I take another breath, and continue. "Total shock. I can see it right now. It was a cold night on a balcony. She accidentally took my jacket home with her."
I grab the file.
"Your biological father…is named Jordan. Jordan Prentice. He and your mother were dating, they had sex, and once your mom realized she was pregnant with you, poof he left her."
Sydney gasped and blurted "That son of a—"
I hold up my hands. "Hold up. Not done. Let me finish my story. Warning you, it's a long one."
She nodded for me to continue.
"This is about to get complicated. Ok?"
"Ok."
"There was a 8 week period between that and when your mom told me. In that time, she met another guy at her record label. Named Cameron Brooks."
"I know that name." Sydney blurted out.
"Yeah. Just wait. He and your mom are dating by the time I find out. But I don't know that. I tell my girlfriend at the time that I was going to help your mother thru her pregnancy."
Sydney softly smiled.
"My girlfriend got extremely jealous, and eventually thought that I was sleeping with your mom and dumped me. So I move in with your mother. Only to find out at her album release party a few weeks later, that she's been lying to me and has had a boyfriend."
Sydney looks outraged.
"I yelled at her, but eventually things went back to normal. We had a brief and accidental incident with her drinking while she was pregnant, but that passed and before I knew it, you were on your way."
"Yay!" Sydney clapped.
"But wait. Details details." I smile, getting her to laugh.
"Ever since I had found out about your mom's boyfriend, I assumed I was on my way out. I had boxed my stuff up, and was waiting for the call that you were born. I had put a down payment, plus first month's rent on a place across town, fully intending to move and thinking it would go smoothly. So when I got the call at work that you were ready to say hello to the world, I was thinking 'This is it.' Until your mother had her complication."
She knows this part.
We told her and the boys that Cat had trouble with Sydney's birth.
"So…that's true?"
"Almost died. Was in a coma. I raced to the hospital, only to find that little Sydney Valentine didn't wait on me."
She giggled and smiled.
"You never have waited much." I joke, and then continue.
"I ended up holding you that night, and I was the first person to see you open your eyes. You remembered my voice from being inside your mom. So you trusted me."
"What about Cameron?"
"He didn't know for several days. Nobody wanted him to get his hands on you. Even back then he was a massive jerk." I say.
"Seriously?"
I nod.
"I took you home for the first time, and basically played dad while your mom got better. Once your mom got home, again, I assumed the clock was going to hit midnight. Until your mother got forced into a yearlong tour and trip to Australia to meet Cameron's family."
Sydney gasped in outrage.
"Sticking me with you!"
"No. leaving me in charge of you."
"Same thing." She said.
"Not really. Because even then, I loved you. I've loved you since the moment I got to hold you."
Sydney gulped and wiped her eyes.
"So your mom went on this tour…I took you to see her in Seattle, leading to Cameron tricking me into giving you up so you could go onstage. I gave him a piece of my mind, then went back home with you."
"The tour didn't go smoothly, mainly because of Cameron. Everyone except your mom hated him, and now she says she hated him the last 3 months before she went off to Australia."
"And I'm here in America with you."
I nod.
"I watched you grow up, that first year. Saw you roll over, crawl, cry, kiss me, everything. You were an adorable little baby. Every time you saw me you lit up like it was the best surprise in the world."
"Your mom…well…Cameron has some buddies down under that aren't so good. And when Cameron showed her to them, she got caught on camera, in a drug warehouse and promptly detained, causing a firestorm of controversy."
Sydney clapped her hands over her mouth.
"After a while, your mom got to come home. On a special day." I say.
"What day?"
"Your first birthday."
Sydney lit up. "Seriously?"
I nod. "Yup. Unfortunately Cameron came too. See, Child Protective Services doesn't like it when a mom goes out on tour for a year, then gets arrested in a drug sting. So he had to get interrogated and get his stuff from your mom's apartment."
"He was living with you?" She yelped.
I nod. "Not fun. But he made a fatal mistake when he came to get his stuff."
"Which was…?"
"See, nobody liked Cameron. And when we got back from the appointment, Jade, Beck, my parents, my girlfriend, everyone was waiting with a huge banner to celebrate his departure forever. It was obvious that they were breaking up."
"Whoa…hold up. Girlfriend? Another one?"
"I'll get to her. But you know how you don't like coffee tables?" I ask.
"Yeah, they make me antsy. Why?"
"I know why you don't like them."
"Why?"
"He kicked me into your mother's coffee table."
She jumped off the tailgate.
"INTO? The coffee table?"
"And into the hospital, where I got blood pumped into me. He was promptly deported after your mother screamed at him that she hated him and that she never wanted to see him again. But guess who saw me get kicked into the coffee table?"
"This girlfriend of yours?" She asked.
I shake my head.
"Baby Sydney. You crawled to me and cried for me. You saw the whole thing. You got covered in my blood from the glass."
She cringed.
"That explains that…"
"Yeah. Now…my girlfriend…" I say.
"Yes!"
I glance at her, and she settles down.
"It was right after your mom went on tour. We met shopping, and hit it off. You were there too, and stole her heart."
Sydney smiled. "What was her name?"
"Danielle Garner."
She looked confused.
"That's also familiar."
"For a different reason." I say.
"What's the reason?"
"She's the treasury secretary of the United States." I say
"WHAT? You dated the Treasury Secretary!" She screamed.
"Easy…she was still in school. Her senior year. You loved her, I loved her, it was all good. Until your mom came home."
Sydney's expression immediately became clouded.
"Danielle…told me that I could leave you now. Your mother was home, and that you were her responsibility. I refused, because I loved you and didn't want to move an inch away from your life. We had some fights and eventually called it quits when she went to Europe to work."
She suddenly looked sad.
"I…I cost you two girlfriends?"
"Yeah…but it was worth it. Because I still was living with your mom. And it didn't take long before she saw the light. And I eventually did too."
Sydney busted into a huge smile.
"We got married, had the boys, blah blah blah. You know the rest." I smile, causing Syd to do the same.
"I do."
I sigh and sip my drink. Which doesn't taste much better really.
"The point of all this is…to make sure you know what happened. As I said, I'm not your dad."
Sydney looked down at those words.
"Look at me ok? I don't want you to doubt for a second that I love you ok? Even for a split second. I have been there since I went 80 to try and meet you in the delivery room. And I never left you. Ever."
Sydney shyly nodded.
"Thing is…legally I am your dad."
"Huh?" she turned to me.
"After all the Cameron stuff, your mom, Jordan and I went to the courthouse and changed the documents so you have a father on your birth certificate."
"You've met him…" She gasped.
"Yeah. I have."
I take the file out of my lap and open it.
"Your mom still hates him to this day. We don't talk about him unless it's absolutely necessary. When your mom brought him up when we talked about telling you, it was the first time in years she said his name. In her eyes, he deserted you guys."
"Which is true!" She snapped.
"Wait…just a second. We didn't mean to bump into him at the store one day after Cameron left. But we did."
Her jaw is dropped again.
"You were with us, and your mom screamed at him, said she hated him and that in her eyes, I was your real father. Slapped him, and ran off."
"Good."
"But…I talked to him. He…he didn't think he could adequately support you and your mom. In his eyes, it was his way of letting you go be happy."
"I'm sorry, and I know you don't like me saying it, but—"
"Say it. I don't care." I say.
She has a right to her opinion.
"That's bullshit. I'm sorry. He deserted me! And Mom! How could he do that! Bullshit!" She said heatedly, clearly worked up.
"I know Syddo. I know. I'm not defending him. I'm with you and your mother. But I also see his point. Ok? Now…"
I pull out the picture and data sheet on him and hand it to her.
"Today…he's married. Wife with 3 kids. Works downtown as a manager at an insurance firm."
She's looking at the paper like it's glass.
"This…this is him?"
"The top picture is him then. There's one under it of him now." I say.
She flips it over, takes a look then puts it back down.
"He lives in Beverly Hills?"
"Yeah. I spoke to him yesterday. Told him I was going to talk to you today about all this."
Her eyes widened.
"Yesterday? You had his number?"
I nod. "When he gave you up legally, he gave your mom and I his contact information, and he's been updating it ever since."
"Why?"
I let out a breath.
"He…he'd like to talk to you."
…
"Talk to me?"
"Yeah. Explain himself to you. Face to face. He said you don't have to. If you want to leave all this in the past, he said that's fine."
"But he wants to meet me. And talk to me." She said softly, taking the file from me and rifling thru it.
"Yeah. He said he'd love for you to meet his wife and kids. Technically, you're related to them."
She suddenly looked green.
"I…is this y'all?"
She pulled out two pictures.
Ones Cat made me put in there.
One is of me and Megan.
The other is Me, Sydney and Danielle at Jade's on Christmas.
"Yeah."
She swallowed, and then wiped a falling tear.
"I…broke you guys up."
"I'd do it a million times out of a million Sydney. It wasn't a choice. I love you more than I ever loved them." I say.
She put the pictures aside and took the green paper.
"Father…not present." She read aloud.
"That's the original." I say.
8:16 PM. February 6, 2013. 5 pounds 8 ounces.
Then she set that aside and grabbed the photocopy of her current birth certificate.
…
"Sydney…I know this is a shock ok? And I…I'm really sorry that this had to happen. But I had to tell you."
She wiped her eyes with her shirt. "I know."
"Believe me, the drive over here was torture. I've been dreading telling you your whole life. I've thought about it every day, even though there isn't anything I would do differently."
"Not even when you didn't talk to Mom?"
"No, because I probably would have stopped talking to her in like a fight or something, and all this never happens. I'd never know you. I'd just know that Cat had a daughter named Sydney and that'd be that."
"…What about those girls? The girlfriends?"
"Danielle has a family of her own now, even though her job means she works a lot. But Megan…"
"What?' Sydney said.
"Car accident."
Gasp.
"Yeah." I say. "I was at her funeral. Pretty grim. Her family was pretty cursed it feels like."
"I'm sorry."
I smile at her. "Don't be sorry Syd. Everything's fine ok? I'm the one in trouble here." I laugh.
"You are?"
"Yeah! I've lied to you your whole life, even though it was necessary!"
"I still don't get why you're in trouble." She said.
"But I'm not your dad." I counter.
"Yeah you are."
…
I look at her and smile.
"You're my daddy. Always have been. You said it yourself. You never left me, and you probably should have!"
"Don't say that." I say softly.
"I'm just looking at the facts I've been given."
"So we're good?' I ask.
She nodded and tackled me into a gigantic hug, wrapping her legs around me.
"My daddy. All mine." She said softly.
"Thanks Sydney."
She smiled and crawled off me.
"Is…Would Mom be mad if I did actually you know…meet him?"
"Mad isn't the word. Just don't make her see him. She still despises him."
"But not mad at me." She said nervously.
"No. She'd understand why I think. And if she is, that's her problem. This is your choice."
She smiled and sipped her shake.
"Can I meet the alive girlfriend too?"
"What?" I yelp.
"Is that a no?"
"No…I mean…why would you want to meet her?" I ask.
"She was there during all of that. I want to meet her. Can I? Have you seen her?"
"I…no. I haven't. I emailed her a long time ago, before Kevin was born. The last time I saw her was when we broke up at the airport."
She immediately looked mad.
"YOU BROKE UP WITH HER AT THE AIRPORT?!" She screamed.
"It was a mutual thing! Don't kill me." I smile at her.
"I won't. Can you at least ask? Please?"
"I can try. No guarantees. She's pretty important now." I say.
"Thanks daddy." She smiled.
"So we're good?"
She smiled and hugged me again.
"Thank you for everything. I really appreciate you doing all that for someone who isn't your kid."
"It feels like you are. I've always fought that. Since day one."
"Well stop fighting it." She stated.
"Ok. I love you ok? And you can tell me anything. I got your back."
She nodded.
"Anything I should know about?" I ask.
"Nope! Everything's great!" She smiled, and then hugged me.
"Great."
Then she grabbed my hand and heaved me out of the SUV.
"Let's go home."