Before we start I wanna say thanks to Twilight Joltik for answering my question from last chapter. I might use it for a head cannon story from Master Hand's pov, but that's when I finish this story, so keep an eye out when I do.
I don't own this… yeah… you know the drill (do I have to keep doing this with every chapter?)
Samus wouldn't always admit it and she may not do it as often as the others, but she did find doing the web show fun. She just only does the ones that catch her attention. Like a certain thing that caught her eye since the first tournament while flying over the forest in her ship behind the mansion. Back then she thought nothing of it, but after four tournaments with it still in the same spot (and some pestering from Falco after he found out about it); she started to get curious and thought it would be a good excuse for an episode.
"Welcome back to Smasher's Guide to the Unexplained: 'Anomaly #54: The Mailbox'" Samus said while turning the camera to an old rusty mailbox covered in mold, the strange thing about it is that it was the only thing around.
"There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house, no address and I asked the locals earlier they said never a house here and have no idea why this would be here" Samus said. Not to mention asking the Hands would be pointless since they never answer these questions she added in her head.
"Today Falco and I…"
"Yo!" Falco greeted as he stood by the mailbox while holding a piece of paper.
"…are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up." She said.
"My letter has the following question: 'What's up?'" Falco said while he put the letter in the mailbox.
"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush and-"
"Whoa Sam!" Falco said as the mailbox started to shake.
"What the hell?!"(1) Samus exclaimed
The mailbox continued to shake as the little wooden flag started to slowly rise up: by itself!
Samus stared at the mailbox with wide eyes as she approached Falco, leaving the camera on a tripod. Sure she's seen a lot of strange stuff, both in her world and in the 5 ½ years she's been a Smasher(2), so she learned never to question the logic of anything(especially with this dysfunctional bunch), but this was pretty freaky.
"Well. Open it." She said to Falco
"No way! You open it! I ain't touching a ghost mailbox!" He retorted
"Fine" muttered Samus. Wimp.
She opened up the mailbox, but instead of the paper Falco put in earlier was a letter that looked several years old because it was yellow and cracked. It also was held together with a red seal, but not the same red seal with the Smash symbol like in their traditional invitations but it had the symbol for infinity.
"What?" Samus said, genuinely confused.
"That's not our letter!" exclaimed Falco.
Samus started to open the letter "It says…" she stopped again shocked. Falco took the letter from her and with wide eyes he showed it to the camera. It read:
"Hello Samus and Falco"
"It knows our names? Do you think Crazy Hand is just pranking us again?" Samus said
"I doubt it. He and Master Hand are still going across multiverse giving out invitations and you know as well as I do they can use all their powers only in the Smash World." Falco answered.
"What about Sakurai?" (3)
"Nah. He's a prankster, but he doesn't have enough magic to pull this off. It's gotta be the mailbox" He answered.
Samus looked back at the mailbox "Let's test it"
(STATIC)
"What did I shave into Peppy's head last year?" Falco said as he put another piece of paper into the mailbox with that very same question on it. The test was to ask it a question they told neither the Hands nor Sakurai. After he closed the door the mailbox shook again and the flag rose up. Falco opened the mailbox and once again the paper was replaced with another letter. He opened it and read it out loud as it said:
"A baby duck holding a paddleball"
"Dude, it knew!" Falco said taking out a photo he had of Peppy with a duckling holding a paddleball shaved on the back of his head (he kept that photo just to get a giggle now and again).
"What?!" Samus said now definitely thinking the mailbox was worth the trip.
"Ask it more questions!" Falco said getting more and more exited.
Meanwhile…
"Ta-dah!" Pac-Man said as he finished something while Captain Falcon and his new roommate Mr. Game and Watch were watching in awe in the mansion's back yard near the forest entry with a second video camera.
"Well I'll be darned. He can stick a hundred gummy worms up his nose; I owe ya 10 Smash Credits." Captain Falcon said to the 2D figure beside him.
"Told ya!" Game and Watch gloated back.
At the same time a few other Smashers that just happened to be passing through were slightly weirded out.
Marth glanced back at his descendent that looked a little nauseous "Lucina, I'm so sorry you had to see that." He said to her."Lord Marth does stuff like this happen often?" Lucina asked in a slightly nervous tone.
"Sadly, yes. And Lucina I told you we're family. Just 'Marth' is fine" He said to her kindly. When she and Robin arrived last week it was incredibly awkward to talk to her and vice versa, but after a practice match between them (Set up by Ike to help break the ice) Marth put her under his wing of sorts kinda like when Link did with his younger counterparts and Lucina couldn't be happier that her ancestor she masqueraded as in their home world as was mentoring her throughout the tourney.(4)
"I'll be honest this isn't even on the list of top 10 weirdest thing to happen in this place" Roy said nearby "Remember the eight-legged cow…"
"NEVER SPEAK OF IT!" Every veteran within earshot shouted at Roy leaving every newcomer in the area confused.
"Okay! Sorry! Sheesh…" Roy said defensively
As Pac-Man took the video out of the camera there was a little light coming through the forest for split second. "What was that?" He asked.
"No clue. But I think I saw Samus and Falco go in there a little earlier." Game and Watch answered.
"I'm gonna check it out, be right back" Pac said as he put his video away in who-knows-where and walked towards the forest.
(STATIC)
Samus and Falco were spending the day asking the mailbox a whole bunch of questions from stuff that was important to their jobs and others just for fun. But after a while they were getting indecisive on what to ask next. And then it hit them…
"I got it! Where did the Hands come from!" Samus said
"Yeah that's it!" Falco instantly agreeing.
"We're finally going to have the answer the biggest question every Smasher has!" She exclaimed as the two practically celebrated. "Hey guys! What'cha doing?" said a certain yellow sphere.
"Pac-Man?" Falco said as they both turned to face him
"Neat, a mailbox! I've been meaning to send my friends back a video of me shoving 100 gummy worms up my nose!" He said as he took out his video and placed in the mailbox!
"PAC NO!" They both yelled but it was too late. The mailbox shook and the flag rose up.
"Whoa! What just happened?" Pac asked but Samus ignored him as she took out the letter and read it:
"Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass."
Just the mailbox shook violently and glow a bright light.
"DUCK AND COVER!"
Everyone did just that as the mailbox started to explode
(STATIC)
The three Smashers were standing in front of the small crater where the mailbox was covered in soot, looking dazed.
"Well… uh… that concludes Smasher's Guide to the Unexplained…" Samus said a little out of it and the giving Pac one of her death glares. "Where we learned when dealing with the unknown: don't mail it videos of you shoving GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE!"
"There's more where that came from" He said as he pulled a gummy worm ball out of nowhere
"No! Show over! SHOW OVER!
Remember when I said I don't swear. Well I still don't but I'll make exceptions.
I think that's a reasonable amount of time but what do you think?
I just had to include that trolling genius somewhere! I will explain more of his role her next chapter and in that MH one-shot I have planned.
I'm thinking of making a one-shot with them too, but I don't have much of a knowledge of Fire Emblem. You think I should?
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