Thanks to my editor Lalizi for giving me some good feedback on this one; I made some changes after her review and I think it improved a lot because of it!
As promised, chapter:
3.
The next day John was writing at his desk when he looked out of the window. He knew he was keeping an eye out for her. The sun was shining brightly. He was wondering if she would go out for a walk today, as it was her half day.
He knew he wasn't able to concentrate while he thought of her. He was a lovesick fool. Did she know he liked her? He hoped he hadn't showed too much. She was still a housemaid and therefore, nothing would come of it. But he just couldn't leave her alone.
Just when he tried to go back to his work, he saw her. He almost hadn't noticed it was her. She walked on the gravel, to the gate of the estate. She carried a small basket and a blanket was draped over her arm. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes, no. Her black dress and apron had gone. Instead, he saw she was wearing a blue skirt and blue coat.
His eyes followed her movements until she was out of sight.
It only took him a few minutes to get up and get his own coat. It was a warm day, so it wasn't really necessary to wear much. One of the hall boys handed him his walking stick in silence.
He didn't walk fast. His injured leg slowed him down. He didn't know in which direction to go, so he just picked a narrow path into a little wood. He was lucky; they seemed of one mind. He found her on the edge of the wood, sitting against a tree, on her blanket, enjoying the sunshine on her face. Her blue jacket lay discarded and her white blouse reflected the bright sunlight. She looked like an angel to him.
"Hello My Lord," she said while he walked up to her.
He didn't even think of what to say before he stood before her.
"Hello Anna," he said cheery. "What a wonderful day to have your half day."
"It is!" she looked at him and smiled.
"Won't most of the staff use their half day to visit their family?" John asked out of the blue. He liked to find out more about her.
"Yes,… they do," she answered polite and turned to her basked to get herself a sandwich.
"Well, why don't you? I know a half day isn't long, but it must be nice,… to visit your…family," John swallowed. He didn't have any family left. It was hard to realize he didn't have anyone to visit himself.
She looked straight at him. He could see her think,… and hesitating. But then, he noticed her chin trembling slightly. She shifted her gaze to her sandwich.
"Well, lets say we are much alike on that. I'm afraid I have no family left. Except for some good friends, I'm quite alone on this planet too." she bit her lip to stop herself from crying. He could tell.
"I'm sorry Anna," John stepped closer to where she was sitting, "…and I'm sorry for not knowing this before. If I had known, I wouldn't have asked such a stupid question."
"It's all right My Lord, you couldn't have known."
"I feel like you know so much about me, and I know nothing about you. I don't know much about any of my servants," he apologized again. He knew it was a lame excuse.
"I'm sure most like it that way," she tried to smile.
"Yes, I'm sure," he laughed.
Anna seemed to relax again.
"But, it doesn't mean I'm not interested. I would love to know more about the family you're coming from, Anna," he said sincerely. Hoping for a new start of conversation.
"If you do, why don't you sit down and join me for a sandwich? Mrs. Patmore made more than enough."
He couldn't say no to such an offer and picked an empty spot on the blanket. He sat facing her, leaning on his elbows in the grass. Anna leaned against a tree, hiding her face in the shadow.
John found out her mother had died in childbirth. Her little baby brother had died only three days later, leaving her and her father devastated. He drank more then was good for him and decided to enter the army to better his life. He had been killed in the first days of the Boer war. Anna had stayed at a neighbor's house from when she was ten. Only a few years later, she had started working, making beds in a small hotel nearby and when she was sixteen, she had got a place at Downton. It had proven a big improvement in her status in life. She liked working hard so she wouldn't think about her past.
John told her about his experiences in the war. He still had troubles with his leg and dreams still haunted him.
Anna asked him questions no one ever dared to ask before. He never even told Vera about that part of his life. Talking to Anna he had no trouble telling his true feelings and fears. It was like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders.
They had eaten all that was inside the basket Anna had brought, and after the long and emotional conversation, Anna handed him the book.
"I think we talked about ourselves enough for today," she told him, "But would you care for a good story?"
He took the book without complaint and opened it were she had left her bookmark.
John started reading. He slowly got into the story and it's characters.
Birds were singing in the trees around them and butterflies chased each other about the field. John couldn't imagine anything better.
It was two or three chapters later, when he saw Anna had closed her eyes. The evening sun had covered her in a soft yellow and orange glow. He was sure it was later than they both thought.
John closed the book and put it back in Anna's little basket. He sat close next to her and watched her again. He wasn't sure if she was asleep, her eyelids moved every few seconds.
"You're so beautiful," John whispered almost too soft to notice, close to her ear.
"I know I shouldn't tell you this Anna. I know nothing can happen, but I just have to tell you how sweet, lovely and smart… and,… how stunning you are."
A small smile crept upon her lips, but he didn't see it. He had closed his eyes to take in her scent. Her hair smelt like a flowery soap. He tried to print it in his brain, to remember it later.
Anna blinked her eyes and looked straight at him. He was really close now. John saw she didn't look afraid, or surprised at all. He brushed a strand of hair from her face.
"I know I cannot kiss you… but I so desperately want to, Anna," he said with a husky voice. Trailing his finger from her hair, to her soft silky cheek and finally to her lips.
She closed her eyes again, taking in his touch. She felt his warm breath against her skin.
Somehow, he was strong enough not to push further, but he couldn't move away from her either. Anna reached for his cheek and caressed him in slow circles to his neck.
John felt something stirring in his pants. It shocked and embarrassed him. Suddenly, he pulled away from her. It pained him to lose the intimate contact he had felt, but he felt he'd gone too far already. He hoped Anna didn't see the bulge that had formed in his trousers. He felt his cheeks redden when he stood up from the blanket.
"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry if I have made you uncomfortable…" his mind raced to find an excuse, but he couldn't find anything acceptable.
Anna moved to stand up too, but John held his hand up to stop her. "Please, don't trouble yourself. It's time for me to get back. Have a nice evening," he said hastily before walking away at a fast pace.
The remaining time of the evening, he locked himself into his study, thinking – and dreaming – about his situation. He felt like his emotions blurred his good sense, but he also knew he was head over heels in love. He couldn't stop his feelings from going wild.
I'm sorry for not writing more about Anna's feelings. I chose to write this whole story in John's POV because I just wanted it to be a short one. It was just something I had in my head suddenly and didn't want to make it too complicated.
If you are a A&B shipper you can guess she's already in love too. But they are in an other situation now; she can't take the lead because he's the Lord of the house.