Chapter 18: Talking

(Ian's POV)

Painful pins-and-needles in my legs is what woke me the next morning, I tried to stretch out but couldn't because of a sleeping Wanda in my lap…she must have finally woken up while I was asleep.

I looked down at her face – pink cheeks, eyes closed, mouth slightly pouted in sleep. She really was an angel…her hair was the craziest I've ever seen it, but it was like a halo above her, I sighed as I took in how beautiful she was and how desperately I needed her – it wasn't even a matter of want anymore, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see her again…god, this is so messed up, part of me wishes Jared never dragged me out that night a few weeks ago – was it only weeks ago? It feels like a lifetime since we met and now I can't imagine not knowing her…

I shuffled around slightly, trying to relieve my legs of some of Wanda's weight – not that she was especially heavy, but I'm pretty sure she's been here a few hours. Thinking about it…what time is it?

Wanda started to stir as I moved around – her big doe eyes opening and staring up at me as though she has been caught shoplifting or cheating on a test.

'Hi' I smiled as I saw her relax at the sound of my voice and rest her head on my shoulder, 'Hello' she mumbled – her voice thick with sleep. She moved her arms around my waist and hugged me like she never wanted to let go…don't let go, ever… one of my own arms was already around her back so I moved the other to meet it, squeezing her closer to me making her giggle. I could listen to that sound all day.

'As much as I want to stay here, we have work and school.' I quickly kissed the top of Wanda's head and scooped her up in my arms so I could move her to the couch, which I was rewarded for with another giggle. My legs felt instant relief as I lifted her; even though my legs still tingled they didn't hurt anymore.

I hurried in the bathroom and putting on clothes – I didn't want to waste any time now that I had her with me. Kyle and Jodi had obviously woken early this morning and left without disturbing me and Wanda sleeping together.

When I returned to the front room Wanda was on the phone, 'yeah okay…I guess I will I don't know…thanks Mel I owe you own…just make sure you get everything okay? …I know. Bye.'

She turned and watched me walk across the room to her, 'what's going on?' her face looked both worried and happy, I wish I could read this girls mind sometimes…

'Mel said I should probably have the day off – recover and everything.' She shrugged her shoulders but I knew that wasn't everything, 'aaand?' I placed my hand on the side of her face to try and make her look at me – it didn't work, she seemed very focused on the floor.

'Well…I was just wondering if you wanted to spend the day with me? Now that I have nothing to do...' After a few minutes she moved away from me, towards the table in the centre of the room, 'but I know you have work, so it's no big deal, I'll just go back home.'

She had obviously taken my silence as a rejection, so I walked up to her again, and wrapped my arms around her – after a beat she returned the surprise-hug. 'I'd love to.' I whispered into her hair and squeezed her against me for the second time this morning.

(Wanda's POV)

It felt wonderful to be in Ian's arms, the way in which I was too short and he was too tall but somehow we fit perfectly – he rested his head on the top of mine while I was pressed against his chest inhaling the perfect scent of body wash and Ian.

I know we needed to talk about everything, and I'm pretty sure that's what we'll be doing later on, but I'm glad we can have this for at least the next couple of minutes.

{Page Break}

After Ian made an excuse with his manager to get the day off, claiming a 'family emergency', we walked over to my house when I knew Mel's parents would have gone to work. I used the spare key hidden on the porch to get in – I gave Ian a brief tour of the downstairs, told him I'd only be 5 minutes and dashed up to jump in the shower.

I stupidly forgot to grab any clothes on the way and I didn't want to put back on the dirty ones from yesterday, so I wrapped myself in a towel, hoped that Ian had stayed downstairs and practically ran across the landing to my room…

Damnit, of course he didn't stay downstairs. I burst into my room and quickly shut the door – not noticing Ian sat at my desk. 'Hey, that was qui-' He stopped as he noticed my semi-undress, his eyes boring into my skin wherever it was visible outside of the towel boundaries.

'er, I think I need a little privacy? Plus I told you to wait downstairs…'

'oh, yeah sure, sorry..' I smiled as he stumbled over his words; surely he'd seen other women like this before? , 'what's so funny?' He walked towards me and the door as if he was about to leave but he stopped right in front of me, smiling.

'Just that you're pretty cute when you're flustered.' I shrugged and felt water droplets fall from my hair onto my bare shoulders and down my arms, Ian had noticed too.

He trailed a finger up my arm, tracing the path of one of the water drops – his finger left a trail of fire and ice in its path, making little bumps rise on my arm.

He smiled more widely, leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the top of my right shoulder, 'I'm only ever flustered around you…' With that he lifted his hand and lips away from my skin and left me in my room alone.

After I got my breathing and fiery cheeks under control I quickly yanked on some jeans, a t-shirt and a hoody and tried to do something will my hair. I couldn't help but think that, if anything, him yelling at me has made us closer in some twisted way…he still needs to know that my feelings are real, not out of sympathy or any other emotion other than just liking somebody for who they are. And I need to open up to him too…

I walked slowly down the stairs; I assumed he'd be sat on the couch or something. Why am I so shy…now of all times!

I walk through the door to the kitchen, not wanting to go in through the front room and have to walk past him, 'Do you want something to drink?' I shouted behind me, figuring he was through the archway on the couch.

'No I'm good thanks.' I jumped and whirled round as he spoke right near my ear.

'God! How long have you been there?'

'Not long, I saw you creeping down the stairs so I thought I'd follow.' He shrugged as if this was completely normal behaviour.

'Your stalking knows no bounds' I laughed and playfully pushed his chest, he went along with it, acting like I'd wounded him. We both started laughing at his poor acting skills as I grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and went to sit across from him at the breakfast bar.

He smiled as he sat down too, but the atmosphere had changed from playful to serious in a matter of seconds…I know we needed to talk but a part of me didn't want to, I didn't want him to shout at me again.

'Okay, so Rule Number 1, no yelling' he surprised me by somehow managing to read my mind yet again, 'Rule 2, we just lay it all out and see where we go from there? …I don't have a Rule 3, this is purely a 2 Rule discussion…'

I smiled and nodded in agreement, taking a sip of my drink waiting for him to start.

'Look…I'm sorry I yelled at you, that's not what I wanted to happen trust me. You just got so mad at me and something clicked, I don't know.' He raked a hand through his hair as though he didn't want to remember what happened.

'I spoke to Lacey and Jodi and they basically told me everything they told you…but my past is my past, the worst part is - I can't change it. I guess I'm just sorry for not telling you about it and him earlier, I know you wouldn't have anything to do with him if I told you, I just didn't want you to bolt.'

'It's okay…' and as I said it, I finally realised how true it was. It didn't matter that he hadn't told me, it didn't matter how I found out, and it didn't even matter what happened to him before, he had moved on and so should I. 'I just couldn't stop picturing what he did to you, I wanted to get mad at him not you – but really it's okay. And it changes nothing about how I feel for you, I like you for who you are now not then.'

He looked so relieved I just wanted to pull him into my arms again, but there's something I need to tell him first…

'So you said yesterday that I hadn't opened up to you either…'

'Wanda, you don't have to tell me anything.' His brows were furrowed and he shook his head as if to tell me not to tell him.

'I know that I don't have to, but I want to…for the first time since it happened I want to talk about it…I want us to trust each other with anything.' He nodded but looked worried about what I had to say.

I took a deep breath before I started… 'Nearly 2 years ago to the day, me my mom and my dad were driving back home after going out to celebrate me winning an award at my old school…some stupid thing about science.

'It was late when we were driving back - down a winded back road that took us right to our street, the kind of road that had no lamp posts because it wasn't for pedestrians.

'One of the headlights in the car went out and my dad tried to drive home with just one, my mom kept telling him to pull over and we'd walk but he just kept on reassuring her that it was okay.'

I forgot I was even with Ian…in my mind I was back in that car with them again. I could smell my mom's rose perfume; I could see the laugh lines next to my dad's eyes as he turned his head to talk to my mom. They were kind and gentle and loving like they always were - even when they were bickering. They were the best parents anyone could ask for.

'We kept on driving but soon after the second headlight went out too…typical. My dad immediately slowed the car down to stop, but there was a flash of headlights coming round the bend in front of us, the driver couldn't see us because of the missing headlights and was driving down the middle of the two lanes.

'He crashed into us, the left side of the car took the hit mostly, causing the whole car to spin around and bang into the car - this time with the right side. It all happened so fast, one minute they were talking and the next it was like a dead silence.' I felt the first tears trickle down my cheeks.

'The police thought it was a miracle I was alive with barely more than a few cuts and bruises, just lucky I was sat on the right side of the back seat I guess…I heard that the driver of the car that crashed into us was drunk and was doing well over the speed limit, he died too.'

Ian had moved around to my side and hugged me in towards him.

'I just can't help but think what would have happened if my dad just stopped when the first light went out…would they still be here with me?' I don't even know if Ian could hear what I was saying anymore through the sobbing. I clung to him like I've never clung to anyone.

He stroked my hair as he let me cry, I could see my tears soaking into his t-shirt and tried to apologize but I couldn't get anything past the huge lump in my throat.

The crying didn't last long but I felt tired afterwards, Ian just held me until I was breathing normally again and my eyes were dry. He sat on the stool next me and held my hands in his - we just sat in silence for a while taking it all in.

'I'm sorry.' I didn't think I'd get that emotional, or sob into his shirt.

'Don't be. I'm glad you told me, even though it kills me to see you cry I'm glad I could see this side of you...' He wiped his thumbs across my cheeks to get rid of any moisture that didn't get soaked into his top.

I sighed, relieved to get it off my chest, as though I'd been holding it there for 2 years waiting for Ian to come along and hear it.

'So that's my story…I guess we've both got bad pasts.' I gave Ian a small smile which he returned, 'Rule number 2, right? Put everything on the table…well that's my everything.' I shrugged, hoping he would say something encouraging to stop me worrying.

'And it may have made me like you even more than I already did - if that were even possible.' I felt elated as the words sunk in…probably the best thing anyone has ever said to me.

I hopped off my stool and put Ian's arms back around me - with me standing and him sitting down we were about the same height – I moved my arms to rest on his shoulders, my hands in his hair. We smiled goofily at each other knowing we both wanted this as much as the other – he pulled me closer and moved his head forward so our lips crashed together.

I could feel him smile against my lips as he kissed me; it was a long, slow, skin-tingling kiss that I wanted to repeat over and over again. His lips moulded mine as they had done the first time, as his fingers skimmed the skin that was exposed on my lower back from my hoody riding up, I could feel the electricity that flowed between us everywhere his fingers touched me. His hair was like silk under my fingers as I moved my hands and tugged every now and then… it was a perfect moment and I hoped he thought so too.

The mood between us went back to how it was before, even better now that we had cleared the air and we both knew how we felt about each other. We decided to stay at my house for the afternoon until Mel was back from school – and then maybe we'd all go to the diner to see Jared.

In the meantime we made some food and talked some more, there were plenty more kisses but nothing intense, just small kisses either on the lips or cheek or Ian kissing the top of my head – I liked this habit he had started.

It was the textbook definition of a perfect day.

(A/n – Something happier! Yay! I really hope you like it, let me know what you think?)