A bit shorter, this one. But something has to happen now, don't you agree?
5.
He hadn't been in the room for a few weeks, when he entered again. He had tried to avoid the possibilities of meeting.
His eyes fell on the book on the chaise lounge. Anna's book. The bookmarker had disappeared. She had finished it, like she had told him two days before. He didn't know what to do with it. It belonged to her. He had liked to know what she was reading. He liked the fact she carried something close that was partly his. He needed some fresh air and asked Carson to inform the groomsmen to saddle a horse.
He hadn't been riding for ages. In a slow trot, he rode to the small woods close to the estate. He galloped and felt the wind take away his thoughts of Anna. He remembered how he always liked to ride.
In the woods, he let the horse walk again to enjoy the smells of nature. It was starting to turn into autumn and leaves whirled in the wind.
As if it was meant to be, he looked into a sideway of the path. He halted the horse directly. In the small path that crossed his road stood Anna. She took a step back and watched him. She was wearing a cream colored coat and a light blue dress. He was sure blue was her favorite color.
He watched her, looked up the road, and back to her. He towered above her, still sitting on his horse. His mind was racing, but nothing to say came up. She made him speechless.
He nodded and whipped his horse to move again. He had to leave. He felt so awkward, embarrassed even.
She had looked so calm, but almost without emotion. Did she expect nothing from him? Even after the dance? John remembered those few minutes vividly. How she had felt in his arms. How she fitted perfectly against him. How she smelled; a stronger flowery scent from that afternoon they spent together. It was too much for him. He knew he was hurting her too, and he didn't want that. He had promised it to himself. It frustrated him so much. He knew he had to speak with her. He missed their little conversations too, and he was worried about her.
He had waited for more than an hour, before she walked out of the woods. He had suspected her to turn up there.
She noticed him, hesitated a mere second, and continued her walk.
John left his horse near the trees and followed her in a fast pace.
"Anna!" he called. Knowing she had seen him, it made him angry that she kept walking at her normal speed. She didn't even turn around to look.
"Anna!" he called louder, "Stop, please."
Finally, she stopped and turned. She wasn't looking happy.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything just now. I can't seem to think when you're around," he began.
"You don't have to say anything to me Your Lordship, I'm a housemaid," she said kindly, but with a hint of a sob in her voice. Her eyes focused on the ground.
"Anna, I know my behavior must be very confusing. I wish I could be clearer…. But I don't understand my own feelings this time. I try not to think about you, but it is my single occupation these last weeks…. I don't know what to do!" John confessed, feeling scared and vulnerable.
"If you dismiss me Milord, please,…don't let me leave without a reference," Anna begged softly.
"What?" John was shocked. So that was why Anna was so sad and scared? No, he would never think about it! He stepped closer to her and took her face in his hands.
"I could never fire you Anna," he said while caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. He tried to sooth her, but a sob escaped her throat.
"You smart young lady, I could never fire you," he said again. "All I wish is to have you close to me,…"
He could see a weight lifted off her shoulders. A sparkle returned into her eyes.
Then he whispered, "…As close as I can have you."
Before he could think, he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. He softly kissed her temple and from there on he peppered her face with slow, just brushes of kisses, until he found her lips.
Anna felt weak in his arms, but she held on to the fabric of his shirt. He kissed her softly. He kissed her hard. It wasn't long before his tongue caressed hers. They kissed passionately and held on to each other for a long time, until Anna broke them apart.
"We have to get back," she tried to say between kisses. "Mrs. Hughes expects me back before dinner."
"I want to hold you forever," he told her.
"What will happen between us, My Lord?" Anna asked him. She had every right to ask.
"I don't know Anna; I have to think about it." He caressed her cheek lovingly and continued, "I don't know how it will reflect on me if I…. well,… if I marry a housemaid."
Suddenly Anna's face turned white. She stepped back. "Of course, My Lord, you are right… of course." She stepped back further. "I know I can't expect anything like that…," she swallowed visibly. "I'll see you at the house, then."
Abruptly she turned away and walked off.
He realized he had made a mistake, again. "Anna!" he shouted. "Please don't leave", he added in his thoughts.
"I didn't mean it like that, we have to think about how,…."
But she was too far to hear anything.
Oh, you just ruined it again John! How could you say such a thing?! He thought to himself when he walked back to get his horse.
He pondered over his own words; Yes, she's a housemaid. But, I'm not even worth her.
Oh, stupid John! He can't think straight when Anna is around.
I'm curious what you think... will he do something about it?! ;-)