Sorry, a day to late!
I discussed writing more chapters with my editor, Lalizi. I might going to try it, but I won't be able to post it directly after chapter 7.
until then, enjoy chapter 6.
John locked himself in Vera's old sitting room when he got back to the house. It started to get dark and he didn't bother to light the fire or any of the lamps. He just sat in the darkness.
Again, images of Anna raced through his mind - the hurt on her face when she had left him only an hour ago. The taste of her mouth still lingered in his. He desperately needed that again. He was sure now. She had given him reason to live again.
The thought of her broken heart haunted him, ripped him apart. How could he have hurt that sweet young woman, who never asked anything of him? It made him so angry, he took one of Vera's small sculptures and threw it against the wall. It shattered in thousands little pieces with a loud bang.
It didn't take long before other pieces followed. All the sculptures he hated, everything of Vera he hated. Thoughts ran through his mind: Had Anna only been older, had he met her before, things could have gone so differently. She was the direct opposite of Vera -everything he wanted and needed in his life in one beautiful person. Anna - a housemaid. He sat down against a ruined wall with his hands in his hair.
Not long after this tantrum, Mrs. Hughes entered the room. He heard her taking in a deep breath.
"Your Lordship,… I know this is probably not the right time,… but one of the housemaids decided to leave instantly, due to personal matters,… and she wants to know if you can send her a reference."
To make it worse, she continued; "You probably don't know her very well, but she's such a nice and loyal girl and I'm sad to see her leave. I think she deserves a good place somewhere."
John sat on a chair in the darkest corner of the room. It felt like he couldn't breathe anymore.
Mrs. Hughes didn't leave directly. "Can I do anything to help, My Lord?" she asked with a soft voice.
He never answered Mrs. Hughes; he just stared around the room, watching the mess he'd made. He felt useless.
The Housekeeper closed the door behind her.
It was only a few minutes later when there was another knock on the door.
His head jumped up when he heard her voice.
"I'm afraid I'm the cause of this…"
He smiled slightly. "No Anna. I am."
"Why are you hurting yourself like this?" she wondered out loud.
"Because I can't seem to stop ruining people's lives." He responded quickly, a bit angrier then he meant.
"I wish you would allow yourself to be happy," she continued the conversation.
"I wish I didn't hurt people. Nice, kind and loving people like you,… Anna."
This silenced her for a while, until she told him, "You hurt me more, by hurting yourself. I want to see you happy My Lord."
John nodded at this.
Anna spoke again. "I know you don't want to dismiss me Milord, so I decided to leave myself. I see I'm not doing you any good… I'm confusing you,… and I haven't been able to concentrate on my work lately. I hope you understand… and I hope you wish me the best for the future too. Mrs. Hughes knows where to send my reference too, if you'd still like to write that for me.
John looked at her intently, not believing she was really about to leave. He knew he had to do something to stop her from leaving, but it was like someone tried to choke him.
"So, this is good bye then…. All the best to you, My Lord," she said sadly, her voice still soft and warm.
"Good bye," was what he was able to get out of his mouth, while his heart screamed for her to stay.
A sob escaped him when he heard her steps fading in the corridor.
It was two days later. John was devastated. He couldn't have anyone around him. Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson were the only ones who he allowed near him.
Mrs. Hughes couldn't stand it anymore and started, "I don't know what brought this on, but it's time for you to get up and do something about it! I'm sorry if I speak out of turn, but I can't see you suffer any longer! Life hasn't been kind, but you have to fight for it!"
Softly she muttered too, "It's hard enough already, without Anna downstairs,…"
John hadn't been listening to the woman at all, until he heard her name.
"I wrote her a reference, like she asked of me… Mrs. Hughes" he suddenly spoke. It surprised the woman visibly. It made her frown.
"Well, I can bring it to the post office this afternoon, if you like?" she offered nicely.
"No, please just write down her address. Some fresh air will do me good. I can post it myself."
"If you would like, My Lord."
John had ordered the car around to bring him into the village. They halted before the post office, but somehow, he could not leave the car. He stared at the address. She was there and he probably would never see, talk, or correspond with her again. He shivered.
John hesitated. The chauffeur raised his eyebrows.
After a few glances back and forth, John asked the man, "Branson, would you know where to find this address?"
Tom Branson took a look for one second and smiled. "Yes Your Lordship, it's not that far…. About half an hour away, I think."
"Fine," this made John very nervous, but he already decided that it was worth a go. Mrs. Hughes was right; he had to fight for his happiness…. And Anna's too!"
"Let's go then," he smiled to the chauffeur.
yaaaay, he's going after her!