A/N: This is quickly running out of my control to be honest, haha. I kinda meant it to be one thing and it's turned into another, but I'm enjoying it so I'll keep going. Any reviews/comments/suggestions/likes/dislikes would be appreciated! Thanks guys

CHAPTER 3

The move had been quick and seamless; it wasn't as though Emma had many belongings to pack up, basically just her clothes, laptop and books. They had done a quick tidy up, to leave the house presentable, though the teenager had decided not to let it go yet. Who knew how long until her teacher realised she had made a stupid mistake by letting a troubled student stay with her?

"I know you're used to being very independent, dear but I do want to set down some ground rules," Regina explained as the two of them ate lunch around the kitchen table.

Emma nodded slowly, "Okay, fair enough. I'm not great with rules," she screwed up her face, "But I'll try."

"Good," Regina smiled, "Firstly, I don't want you calling me Miss Mills when we're not at school, it's strange."

Emma smiled right back, "Okay, I guess I can do that. But it is kind of weird to call a teacher by their first name."

"Well, I'm not just your teacher, I'm your friend, dear," Regina clarified, "And speaking of school, I am not going to force you to go back, I can't, though I think it's a good idea, but if you do not go back to school then I want you to find something else to fill your days, other study perhaps, work, volunteering, I don't want you spending all your time alone. I don't think that helps."

Emma swallowed a snide remark and nodded, "You're right," she admitted reluctantly, "I haven't made a final decision about school yet, anyway."

Regina tried not to let the hope shine in her eyes when she heard and moved on calmly, "You mentioned a while ago you like late night walks… How late is late?"

Emma bit her lip knowing her teacher wouldn't like the answer, "I don't know, like midnight maybe…or later sometimes," she muttered.

Regina shook her head, "It's not safe, darling. I'm sorry, it's just not and if you got hurt while I was trying to look after you, I would never forgive myself," this one she was nervous about; she knew she wasn't Emma's mother and she didn't want to impose too many rules on the girl.

Emma sighed, "I've never ran into any trouble," she shrugged, but gave in, "But yeah, okay."

"Why do you walk so late, dear?" Regina asked.

"Um, if I can't sleep or I want to think…or not think, I don't know," the blonde shrugged again.

Regina nodded but didn't push the subject, "I see. Next, I would like you to make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible," Regina delivered this one sternly; there was no room to budge here.

Emma nodded, letting out a sigh, "Okay."

Regina smiled, "Well, I have one final request that I would really like you to abide to, if it is possible."

Emma was nervous and cracked her knuckles as she awaited her teacher's request.

"If you feel like hurting yourself," Regina started and spoke cautiously, "I don't care what time of the day or night it is, I would like you to tell me. I know you are used to dealing with these feelings on your own, but I think we need to break that cycle."

Emma chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously, "It's hard," she mumbled.

Regina's eyes softened and she reached across the table, taking the girl's hand, "I know it is, honey. But it's very important if I am going to help you. I know you may not trust me completely – "

"I do trust you, though," Emma interjected quickly, before blushing.

Regina merely smiled, "I'm glad. So, please, just try. You don't even have to say anything, we could just have a code word, or a symbol or something."

Emma bit her lip, "Okay. A symbol or something, I'll think of something."

"Good," Regina nodded, "I think that is all… Unless, you have anything to add, dear?"

Emma thought for a moment, "Well, you know I get some money from the government, so I can give you some rent – "

"No," Regina put up a hand, "I don't need or want your money, Emma. You are just a child, I know you're eighteen already, but I want you to have some semblance of what it is like to grow up with a strong adult influence," she purposely avoided using words like parents or mother, besides she hardly wanted to be the woman's mother.

Emma thought about arguing but she could see she wouldn't get anywhere, "Fine…but the offer is there," she settled on, "What about my friends? Am I, like, allowed to go out with them? We have dinner at Granny's every Tuesday, sometimes I get home kinda late."

"I am not going to stop you seeing your friends, Emma. On the contrary, I think seeing Ruby and Belle is good for you, they seem like nice girls."

"They are," Emma agreed, "And on the subject, um, are they allowed to know I'm staying here? I mean, I don't want to get you in trouble or anything."

Regina frowned, "At the moment, you are not my student, so technically, I think this is okay," she wasn't sure about this, but she would convince the teenager she was not a dirty little secret, "And anyway, you are over eighteen, so I think…well, anyway yes you can tell them, but just be discreet and be sure that they are too," she was constantly reminding herself that the teenager was over eighteen, especially when she was reminded that her feelings for this girl went far beyond a student-teacher relationship, but no, she knew that right now, Emma's mental health was the number one priority at the moment.

"Of course," Emma nodded, "I'll make sure I go to Granny's with them, I won't bring them home or anything – "

"Dear, they are your friends and quite frankly, I would like to meet them outside of school, so yes you will have them over. I want this to be your home, Emma, not just the place that you sleep."

Emma nodded, "Hm, okay," she said, realising that she'd never really had a 'home' like that before, other than her place and even then, it wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy. She didn't ever think she'd have that kind of home other people spoke about, that kind of safety, belonging. Could she really have that now?

Belle was laughing as Ruby tickled her in the booth with an evil smirk on her face, not relenting despite Belle's requests until finally, she giggled herself and let her girlfriend go.

"I told you not to tickle me," Belle pouted.

Ruby just grinned, "But you're so cute when you laugh like that and you rarely laugh at my jokes," she shrugged, "What's a girl to do?"

Belle laughed, "Get better material," she delivered.

Ruby put a hand on her heart, "Ouch, babe, cruel."

Belle rolled her eyes but planted a peck on Ruby's cheek, "Sorry, your jokes are very funny," she said, seriously but followed with a giggle.

"About as funny as mine, lucky we have you to laugh at us," Emma approached the two with the first genuine smile they'd seen on her in a while.

The two part pulled a part a little and looked up at her.

"Hey, I'm totally funnier than you. You're just a dag," Ruby teased as she stood up and gave her friend a quick hug.

Emma grinned, "Yeah, well… would you have me any other way?" she hugged Belle tightly and pulled out a chair, sitting down, "I'm starved," she declared.

"Me too, you're late you know, Swan," Belle pointed out.

"Sorry, I was busy," Emma said cryptically, "What do you guys want? You think your Granny can whip me up some pasta?"

Ruby nodded, "Sure, I'll go put our order in, what do you want babe? Hang on," she held up a hand, "Stupid question. Burger. Fries."

Belle pretended to look hurt for a moment before she smiled, "Thanks Rubes."

Ruby bounced away happily behind the counter to find her Granny.

"So, busy?" Belle frowned, "What were you up to?"

Emma chewed her lip, "Wait for Ruby to get back, I don't want to go through this twice," she mumbled.

Belle leaned forward, "Do you have a girlfriend?" she guessed, eyes shining with curiosity.

Emma rolled her eyes, "No, Belle. I would have called you if that was the case, silly."

Ruby climbed back into the booth next to her girlfriend, slinging her arm around Belle's shoulders, "So, what's new Em?"

Belle nudged Ruby, "She has news," she shared.

"New girlfriend?" Ruby asked, quirking an eyebrow, "Who is she?"

Emma sighed in exasperation, "Ugh, it's not a new girlfriend, jeez you guys," she shook her head.

"So, what is it?" Belle prompted, "Are you coming back to school?" the hope was evident in her eyes.

Emma shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "Maybe, I haven't decided," she shrugged, "It's not that, anyway," she started chewing her nails; nervous habit's.

"Jeez, Em, the anticipation, just tell us," Ruby insisted.

"Sorry," Emma muttered, "Um, well you know Miss Mills was helping me with my study, right?"

The two girls frowned but nodded, wondering where this was going.

"Well, I guess it became more than that – "

"Holy shit, you bagged the Spanish teacher?" Ruby looked impressed as Belle rolled her eyes.

"No!" Emma blushed, "God, no," she didn't add that she wished that were the case, "I just mean, she's really good talk to about stuff," she shrugged.

"So…another reason to come back to school?" Belle asked, hopefully.

Emma shrugged, "Maybe. But um, I don't really need to come to school to see her," she said slowly, "cause um…she's letting me stay with her," she finished quietly.

Belle blinked, tilting her head while Ruby was strangely quiet.

"You're staying with her?" Belle asked.

Emma nodded, "Yeah. I mean, it's nothing dodgy or anything."

"How…did that happen?" Belle creased up her face, trying to understand the seemingly random news her friend had just delivered.

Emma sighed, "You know that night you sent Ruby over?"

Belle thought about denying it but nodded.

"Well, after that Miss Mills came over, which probably sounds a bit weird, I guess," she said, looking at her friends pulling confused faces, "But she was trying to talk me into staying at school," she explained slowly, "Anyway, she kinda figured out that…," she took a deep breath, dreading this next sentence, but how could her friends help her if they didn't know what was going on? "I cut the other night," she lowered her eyes, staring at the table, "We had this d and m…she kinda told me something personal about someone close to her… anyway, I guess she was worried about me and I was talking pretty negatively, so she said I should go stay with her. That I shouldn't be alone."

"I didn't think you were doing that anymore," Belle was stuck on the fact that her friend had started self-harming again.

"I don't. I didn't. It just started recently," Emma muttered, playing with her hands.

Ruby nodded, "Are you like, allowed to stay with her?"

Belle nodded, "Isn't it weird? She's a teacher, Em, plus you have a crush on her, couldn't that get complicated?"

Emma blushed and ducked her head again, "Well, technically, I'm not her student at the moment. But I don't know. I trust her, I can talk to her."

Belle looked hurt, "You talk to me though?"

Emma felt guilty for the look on her friend's face, "I know, I do and i love you guys, but it's different," she paused, running her tongue over her teeth, "I mean, Belle your parents are awesome and Ruby, you have Granny, not to mention all the extended family. I've never had an adult I trusted before," she shrugged, "All my foster parents were…" she looked at Belle, who nodded, "And that's why I got out of the system as soon as I could, but being on my own is hard too."

Belle pondered for a moment, "Yeah, I guess I can understand that, Em. If you think she can help you, then I think that's great, and I, we," she nudged Ruby in the ribs, who nodded, "support you. We'll always support you, but please keep us in the loop."

Emma nodded and looked at Ruby, "Ruby?"

"Belle's right," the brunette said confidently, "If she can help you, sure. I can't imagine not growing up with my family around me and I know your foster homes weren't great… not that you ever talk about it," she frowned but Belle shook her head, "but yeah, like Belle says," she smiled at her girlfriend, "we support you. I guess this is like, a secret though right?"

The blonde nodded, "Well, yeah. I mean, no. I don't know the technicalities, but I think don't mention it to anyone for now, at least."

"Totally," Ruby bopped her head up and down and the three went silent as their meals were placed in front of them.

Emma yawned, "Thanks guys. I'm really lucky to have you guys in my life," she smiled; it was true, she was feeling grateful since Regina had told her about her friend.

Belle climbed out of the booth and gave her friend a hug, "We're lucky to have you too, Swan. I love you."

Emma returned the hug, holding on a little longer than usual, "I love you too, Belle," she rested her head on her shoulder.

"Aw, you two," Ruby teased gently as Belle took her seat.

"You're awake at a reasonable time," Regina noted as she poured herself an orange juice.

Emma nodded, "I thought…I might get a lift to school?" she said sheepishly.

Regina's face broke out into a grin, "Great! I mean, that's a very good, decision. I'm glad, Emma," she smiled kindly at the teenager.

Emma couldn't help smiling at her teachers reaction, "Thanks. I feel really…lucky you've taken me in. I've never had anywhere…stable before."

Regina frowned, wondering just what had happened at the teenager's foster homes that made her so hostile towards adults, a conversation for another time, perhaps, "It is more than okay, dear."

"Oh and I was thinking you know, you said you wanted me to tell you if I felt…like hurting myself or whatever, we could have a symbol or something?"

"Yes, dear, did you think of something?" Regina asked.

Emma shrugged, "Well, if I feel…like that, can I just say nine, like either verbally or with my fingers," she held up nine fingers before shrugging again, "Is it stupid?"

"It's not stupid, dear, but why nine, may I ask?" the older woman was curious.

"Well…you're the ninth person to take me in…so," she shrugged, sheepishly.

Regina smiled, "Lucky number nine."

Emma swallowed the last of her toast and nodded, taking off to her room to get ready for her first day at school in two weeks.

Belle yawned as her girlfriend approached and sat down beside her.

"You tired, babe?" Ruby kissed her on the cheek.

Belle nodded, "Yeah, I slept like crap. I have three tests today, so I was up all night studying."

Ruby rolled her eyes, "You hardly need to study so late, Belle, you're a genius."

Belle smiled, "I am not," she replied shyly, "Besides, I like getting good marks, what's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing," Ruby agreed, "It's super cute, though I do get jealous of your books sometimes," she teased before going in for another kiss.

"Jeez guys, get a room."

Belle jumped out of her seat, "SWAN!" she squealed, causing a few laugh's around the cafeteria, she pounced onto her friend, hugging her tightly, "You're back! Yay! This is awesome. I knew you'd come back, well I hoped, I mean."

"Belle, you're kinda suffocating me," Emma choked out and her friend released her, "You know, I'm gonna need your help," she said.

"Of course," Belle beamed, "Anything. I can help you in anything but Spanish, but I guess you have that covered, huh?"

Emma followed her friend's eyes, looking behind her to see Miss Mills chatting with another teacher, "Yeah, I guess I do. Hey, I wanted to ask you another favour too, but it's kind of silly," she said as she sat down and pulled out the sandwich she had made earlier.

It felt weird to be back at this place, it felt like it had been longer than two weeks and she wouldn't admit it out loud but she was still scared. But at least for today, she felt the fighter ignited inside her, and she knew she had to take advantage of that while it was still there. She'd been living with this illness for long enough to know it could withdraw itself at any time and she could fall back into a depression.

A few days later, Emma had made an appointment with her doctor, more so for Regina than herself. She had never been able to open up to any professional, even though she knew it would probably help if she did, but hey, umpteenth time lucky, right?

"It's been a while, I was wondering when I'd hear from you again," Dr Hopper smiled kindly as he gestured for Emma to sit down.

Emma shrugged, "Yeah, I got sick of talking I guess."

"Well, if anything, I don't quite think you talk enough, Emma. Can you tell me what's been going on?"

Emma was playing with her fingers unable to look at her therapist, "I don't know, I guess I've gone a bit backwards or something. I feel like shit all the time. I had some trouble at school too, I'm just," she sighed and went silent, feeling her chest tighten, "I don't know."

The doctor frowned, "Have you been taking your medication?"

"Mhm," Emma answered, crossing her arms over her stomach and hugging herself. She hated this place, she knew the doctor was only trying to help and he seemed like a nice man, but every time she walked in here, it was like she stopped breathing and everything tensed up and she wanted to run outside just so she could get some air into her lungs.

"Any self harm?" Dr Hopper asked.

Emma bit her tongue so hard it hurt as she felt her hands shake and clenched them, she blinked slowly, trying to calm herself but it didn't work, it never worked and she stood up, "I'm sorry, I can't do this," she muttered and quickly walked to the door before the doctor could protest, skipping the stairs two at a time to escape the clinic.

She turned the corner into a quiet alley and threw herself against a wall, holding her chest and trying to breathe some air into her lungs but couldn't breathe in deeply enough and it only made her heart rate soar. She sunk down against the wall and gave way to the lump in her throat as she allowed herself to sob.

Swearing at herself for being so weak, she grasped fistfuls of her hair and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the world. Her jaw hurt from clenching her teeth but she didn't know what else to do, except sit there a total mess and wait for it to pass.